


That Light Lies Hid From Men

by TCD



Series: My Comforter [5]
Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: (not graphic), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety Attacks, Breathplay, Canon-Typical Violence, Cuddling & Snuggling, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, Drug Use, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Families of Choice, Feels, Fingerfucking, Flashbacks, Friends to Lovers, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Life in Prison, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Outdoor Sex, Panic Attacks, Post-Coital Cuddling, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Self-Harm, Showers, Slurs, Suicide Attempt, Tully Really Cares, Vomiting, minor character injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-02-03 12:08:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 103,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12748014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TCD/pseuds/TCD
Summary: Tully's recieved an ultimatum and now he has to make a choice. Be with the love of his life, or be what he'd worked his whole life to achieve?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Finally, after so long, the next part is out! Thank you all for your patience. As always, spoilers for season seven of Sons of Anarchy. Come chat with me on my [Sons Of Anarchy blog](https://ineedthesons.tumblr.com/)! (18+ only please.) Some things are potentially triggery in this series. Warnings will be on appropriate chapters.
> 
> Apologies to Emily Bronte for the title.

The early morning sunshine was to Tully's back, as he sat perched on his usual picnic table. Juice was at his left, sitting properly on the bench and Mickey was to his right. The shot-caller was hardly paying attention to anything, though. Too busy deep in thought about his letter. He had orders from the highest bosses in the Aryan Brotherhood: Get rid of Juice, or retire.

A year ago, or six months ago or even four weeks ago it would have been an easy decision. Now? Tully dropped one hand onto Juice's scalp gently stroking his skin. This was the love of his life. This man had his otherwise cold, black heart. Trusted him. Was protected by him. To kill him as ordered would be like carving a piece of himself away. But Tully could only protect him and give him everything his heart desired by being an AB shot-caller. Besides that it was who he _was_. He wasn't sure he could manage without the power, the prestige that the title brought. “Tully,” Mickey pulled him away from his thoughts. “You ain't said a word all morning. Or Pit.”

Juice twisted to look at Mickey at the mention of his nickname. “Just thinkin'. 'Sides, I can't exactly offer my opinion on the superiority of the white race and that's all you rednecks were talkin' about this morning over breakfast.”

Tully snorted and rolled his eyes. The new members of the AB seemed to be the sort of white men who were more proud of their heritage, and vocal about it. That was fine, but at this point so many weeks after their arrival it was getting a little old. Someone would have to have a chat with them soon; being white power, having white pride it was all fine but you had to do your time and that meant not interfering with people doing theirs. Pissing other gangs off with loud talk about their particular race should be killed, at least without purpose, was interference. “Ugh. I don't wanna shower with the rest of them.” Juice turned now to Tully, brown eyes wide and pleading. It was a ploy to get Tully to react to something, anything. He was just acting too cute. They'd had this conversation the night before. Juice was physically capable of showering easily by himself. Emotionally he was shakier but Tully was going to be right there for him when he returned.

The shot-caller smiled just a little, the note from Jeff still at the forefront of his mind. “The water will be nice after this heat.” Tully stroked his head again. He couldn't help his affections even around Mickey. “You'll be just fine, baby boy.” Nuke had made it his personal mission to protect Juice when Tully couldn't, like in the showers. It was about as subtle as a brick to the face but both men appreciated Nuke's effort.

“Boss. Mutt. We should move.” Mickey always had his head on a swivel. “Rice-eaters keep staring. They're giving me the heebie-jeebies.”

Without question Juice and Tully stood, Mickey following. The Triads finally had installed some of their men into Stockton and both Juice and Tully seemed to be in their cross hairs. Tully moreso of course, but the boy had defied them and refused to carry out a hit. They'd tried nothing so far, but it was only a matter of time.

It was a quick crossing of the yard to get to where the rest of the AB was exercising. Not only were the men there but Tully noticed a guard circling them. Pearson, watching them like she was a shark hunting minnows. She'd been acting weird too. To the rest of them she was her usual neutral-cordial self, and to Juice she was downright nice. To Tully she was less neutral and more snide. Just toeing the line of what was rude and unprofessional behavior. He couldn't figure out why she was treating him that way, and it was one more thing bothering him. “Jus' gonna work my arms.” Juice bumped his elbow. “Be back in a bit.” It was his way of bringing Tully out of his head again, and the smile he gave was his private way of reminding his Papi that he loved him.

Mickey remained where he was, leaning on the fence next to Tully. “Gonna tell me what's really going on, boss?”

Tully clenched his jaw, watching Juice gently rib Nuke and be teased back. Of course Mickey knew there was something Tully was hiding, that something was wrong. Tully knew he had to tell someone else, to bounce ideas off of. That's what his second in command was for. Tully scanned the yard; Pearson was doing another circle and there was the MC's man with his back against a wall. The chinks and the porch moneys were in their little corners like they should be. “Let's take a walk.” Tully came off of the fence he was leaning on. Finding Nuke, he made eye contact with the man. Check in, to let his muscle know he was on his self-proclaimed Juice Duty. The boy searched him out, seeing Nuke's attention shift, and Tully gave him his personal, loving smile.

Tully fell into the same patrol Pearson was making. Though of course he stayed well behind her. “Jeff sent me a letter.” Tully put his hands behind his back before he continued. Mickey straightened. “He says I'm distracted.”

“With the boy?”

Tully nodded and looked down to the other man. Really he should get an objective opinion on whether or not he was distracted. But on the other hand Mickey _could_ have been the one to alert the bosses in the first place. Tully didn't speak; he pushed that line of thought out of his mind first. It would lead to paranoia. Mickey was trustworthy. The shot-caller opened his mouth, but he couldn't continue. Couldn't bring it to even say what his boss had told him. _Kill the boy or get out._ He closed his mouth with a clench.

Mickey said nothing this time but he knew there was more to it. “How much time do you have?” To make whatever decision you have to, was implied. Mickey wasn't going to press further for details.

“Few weeks from last week.”

“Mm. So maybe two?” Tully nodded and his eyes found Juice again. Now the boy was doing some leg exercises, braced by Nuke so he wasn't hurt. He had a look of determination on his face, which made Tully's heart flutter. “For what it's worth, Tully,” Mickey watched him watching Juice, “I don't think your housewife distracts you any more than any of your other projects over the years.” Finally they were too far away for Tully to keep staring at his beloved boy. “We're still making a shitload of money.”

“You'd think that would be the most important part, not who I'm fucking.” Tully mumbled, as he returned his hands to the place at his back.

“Especially to the Jew.” Tully now had to let himself laugh. The worst-kept Brotherhood secret; that one of the founders was, in fact, Jewish. ”Maybe, boss,” Mickey ventured with an idea, “You could beg needing more time and they'll forget. Especially when the H money comes in on a regular basis. You're damn good at your job even if you're queer and they just need a reminder of that.”

His second rarely spoke so much in one go. Nor was he kissing Tully's ass, just stating a fact. “I'll consider it.” Tully doubted it would work but the idea was there in his head. Maybe it would mutate into something more useful. The end of yard time bell sounded and the pair of men headed back to the group of AB members. Juice fell into step at his side like he was his shadow; he had a grin on his face and his limp was acting up. “Nuke, what did you do to him?”

“Nothin', I told him to take it easy.” Nuke sounded as proud of Juice looked, so Tully doubted the big man had been strenuous in his objections.

Tully rounded his gaze at Juice and looked down at his boy. “It was only one max weight, it was fine!” Juice was craving his approval, those big brown eyes twinkling with desire for it.

Maybe the boss had something to the distraction idea because he couldn't help himself. He just loved this man too damn much. Tully slung an arm over his boy's shoulders. “Hope it was worth it, you're taking it easy for the rest of the week.”

“Fiiine.” Juice got adorably pouty for a moment before he smirked. “Poor me, get to hang with you instead of sweating my ass off with Nuke.” His voice lowered as he entered their cell to get his shower stuff. “We okay?” He pressed himself into Tully's space, muscular body on Tully's lean one. “Starting to worry.”

Damnit. That was _their_ code. Juice didn't worry about things, he obsessed. The anxiety gnawed at him until he took extreme measures to quiet it. He'd gotten better, as long as he let Tully know when it was happening. The older man helped. This time Tully dropped a kiss to his head. “ _We're_ fine. Just work stuff.” Then he shifted to be able to whisper in Juice's ear. “Love you.”

Juice blushed as Tully straightened, smiling again. But even as he smiled, Tully caught the flick of Juice's gaze to the desk where the letter sat folded. He had a feeling Juice didn't 100% believe him that it was entirely work related. But the boy said nothing, just nuzzled him and returned the whispered words. “Okay. I love you too.” Juice had had his therapy visit earlier, Tully realized as he remained physically close to him. That must have been why he was feeling so calm and so needy at the same time. Tully stroked that broad back light and soothing. Juice was getting better with that, too. Letting people touch him, even though he could always seem to allow Tully's hands on him. Being able to move around easier was part of that; he felt like he could escape again. At least that was what he told Tully. This was the first week he'd been deemed well enough to return to showering with the rest of the wing. Tully wasn't as worried about it as perhaps he ought to have been. The whole affair took an hour, tops, and his boy was going to be well protected during that time. “Should probably get goin'.” Juice didn't seem to want to move, though.

Tully was going to have to make him. “Yes.” He pressed another kiss to Juice's skull, right on the top before he released his boy. “I'll rub your knee when you get back.” The shot-caller smirked while Juice blushed once more. Give Juice something to look forward to, a reason to make it through the routine shower without an _incident._ Not that Juice could control the flashbacks, Tully knew that, but finding something to focus on helped a lot in lessening their severity when they hit.

The cell door opened and the older man released his boy. “Go on.” Juice gave him one more look and stepped out, slotting into Mickey's left side. Nuke was behind him, like usual, and Tully locked eyes with him before he had to move on. The muscle was once again, on Juice Duty. The shot-caller could see just before the cell door shut that Mickey was enticing Juice into some kind of conversation. A distraction from the stressful activity coming up.

Tully swept the missive into his hands and sat down on Juice's bunk. Hadn't he been thinking of retiring? If he did now, they'd leave him alone. Probably let him keep his status, even if the perks were going to be harder to come by. Letting him pick his successor would ensure that, and would ensure that Tully's projects would continue on like normal.

But they'd never promised leaving _Juice_ alone. Once Tully handed over his mantle to the next in line; to Mickey, it was going to be Mickey he couldn't kid himself, the man could always be ordered to take the boy out. As punishment, and then Tully would have neither his rank nor his lover and that wasn't acceptable. He'd worked too hard for both. The man unfolded the letter to look at it again. _I don't think that's really what you want, though._ Jeff, his boss. His mentor, too. Saw that Tully had a path through the ranks of the Brotherhood even if the other man had to work through it on his own. Up until now, Tully's homosexuality hadn't been a problem, either.

Tully sighed and folded the letter once more before standing. He itched under his skin; Tully needed to move around. It helped him to think sometimes, when simply navel-gazing wasn't cutting it. Pacing was hard to do around the cell; it was basically three steps across and four deep with Tully's natural stride. Still he made a lap around while letting his mind wander freely. The thought of not having Juice around, murdered by his own hand because he wouldn't allow anyone else to do it, _hurt_ deep in his chest _._ Hurt so bad that Tully simply dismissed it as an option. That left, then, retirement. He would just have to wrangle Juice's safety before he made the handover.

Now Tully changed exercises, stepping up to the bars of his door to do pull-ups off of them. He'd been lax in exercising; he'd have to pick it up again. His mind went back to the topic at hand; protecting Juice. Mickey wasn't likely to have a problem with Tully keeping the young man around. Especially if the boy kept himself useful and stayed well out of Brotherhood business. It wasn't a task that was mutually exclusive, after all. Juice's presence would be tolerated here; it was only Jeff and the rest of the higher-ups that would be bothered by it. The man let out a growl; he wished there was someone he could talk this out with.

Tully dropped down from his bars, his thoughts suddenly clearing with a flash of brilliance. He sought out the eyes of one of the guards, leaning on the cell door once the man came over. “Need to make a phone call. One of my contacts.” Tully, doing things the right way. It should have been suspicious but he couldn't wait for Mickey to return. This was really his only option. He stepped back to lean on his heels, waiting for the guard to respond. The shot-caller realized that it was the same one with the brother with PTSD; he must have been assigned to this block to cover for Kiefer's resignation. Tully smiled, mostly genuine. Not too late to start building a rapport. The administration called him “supremely manipulative”, Tully just called it being friendly. “You're th' one with a brother, right? Discharged medically...Jake?” He let his accent slip, soothing. “He's doing well? You're...?” Now he waited, clearly giving the guard a chance to fill in with his own name. Surname or otherwise.

He gestured and Tully stepped forward to submit to the cuffs. “Yeah, Jake's doing alright.” He hesitated before he allowed them to open the door. New guard, Tully figured. At least with the high security prisoners here. Wary of giving too much information, like they told him to. It was almost cute, the way he was doing it now instead of before. When it was more important to not give Tully anything first, so that he could use it in the future. Now, in other words. Tully let him think while they walked down to the phone banks. “Smith. Your cellie has been doing better.” Turn conversation back onto Tully; it was textbook.

Tully hummed positively. People had noticed Juice's improvement. The shot-caller doubted his name was actually Smith but he'd been wrong before. “I'm actually calling my own brother.” Will would know what to do. Or at least help Tully talk through it. “Will Thompson.” He looked through the glass to the administrative assistant who would do all the dialing and connecting. “Please?” Tully smiled at her too, and she blushed. Another newbie, apparently. The prison was good money, but it was hard and turnover was high. He straightened for Smith and the guard let him into the booth. “Thank you.” Tully wouldn't get his hands back, but they were cuffed in front so he could use them. “Shouldn't be long.”

Smith nodded at him and backed away; all of the phone calls made this way were recorded. It would be ten minutes, tops, if Tully knew the conversations they had. The phone rang, and Tully picked it up. “Where are you?”

“Sittin' at a truck stop south of Tacoma.” Tully smiled hearing the voice of the man at the other end. It was accented, pure south Bostonian. Will didn't hide it, like Tully did his own. “What's up, brotha mine?”

There was a wooshing in the background, the deep rumble of a truck either pulling in or pulling out. Will always hung near the trucks themselves, instead of at the parking lots made for people in regular cars. Or motorcycles. Of course that habit bothered Tully but there was little he could do about it. “Need to talk to you. Got a lot to bend your ear on.”

“Figured. You don't call otherwise.” It was true; Tully usually let Will dictate the terms of their meetings. When he would swing by, when he would write. Tully wasn't exactly going anywhere, and Will needed the space to roam. Tully couldn't abide the thought of chaining Will to one place, though he was fairly certain the man would stay nearby if Tully asked. “I can be down there in 12 hours, or so? Traffic depending.” Not just fairly certain, Tully was absolutely certain. Whatever Will had plans on, he was dropping them just because Tully needed him.

He was relieved; every once in a great while Will would refuse him, though he'd always return at a later time. “This place opens at nine. Just ask for me when you get here.”

“Like it has for the last twenty years, Tully, and like I have for the last twenty years.” Another rumble, but Tully heard the laughter behind it. “I'll see you as close to then, brother.” Just before Will hung up, the deep sound of his engine drifted up through the sound of the phone.

Now Tully hung up with a sigh. He'd get Mickey to buy them a room, and then he could talk to his brother in private. He stepped out of the booth and Smith stepped forward to take his cuffs. One more point in his favor, the guard had moved further away to give him a moment alone. As alone as could happen here, anyway. “Thank you.” Tully had to be polite, of course.

“Welcome.” Neither man spoke much on the way back. Tully was thinking again. Sorting out everything in his mind so that it was clear; organized for when his brother arrived in the morning. Getting all the details right would be completely necessary for Will to understand.

_Not really._ Tully smirked as they turned onto the cell block. He knew the other man as well as he knew himself. Even without all the details as long as Tully had the important ones his brother would understand. Tully glanced around; they still weren't back yet from their shower but it couldn't be too much longer. Once released, the older man took the opportunity to clean up. Set the letter back into its place on the desk. Juice hadn't looked at it, Tully knew. It was the elephant in the room that he was going to have to tell his lover about eventually. Tully would; once he figured out all the details to assure his safety. When it was all said and done, the soon-to-be-former shot-caller would explain everything to Juice, and they could spend all the time they had left together.

That reminded Tully. He sat down at the desk now. He'd wanted to ask his lawyer when he was eligible for parole. Just out of curiosity. No other reason. The man was about to start writing on his own yellow legal pad when the rising noise made him look up. The men were returning, and instinctively Tully looked for the tattooed scalp of his baby boy. Which he found, easily.

What he saw made him stand up and stride toward the bars. Juice was leaning heavily on Nuke, jaw clenched tight. “What happened?” Tully stood back as the door opened to let his boy in. Juice's fingers were curled into fists, and he didn't say anything to the older man. Just went to the bunk to sit down on it. “What _happened._ ”

“Eme.” Mickey finally offered up. “Shitheads scheduled us together. I'm getting that shit changed cuz we almost lost this dumbass,” to which he pointed at Nuke, “Froggy, and one of the new fuckers to the hole with naked fighting, stupid fucking cunts.”

Nuke was ignoring Mickey's tirade against him, and Tully had stopped listening too. Nuke spoke quietly. “They had _him_ there, boss.” The MC’s man. Protected by the Mexican Mafia, he had no formal restrictions keeping him away from Juice. That was going to change, even if it cost Tully an arm and a leg. Informally he and Juice had been kept well apart but that clearly wasn't enough if someone had ignored it. Tully had to find out who did that cock-up and punish them. “Pit did good. Did real good, though. Kept his cool like a stone bad ass.” That was mostly for the boy, who had backed up to lean against the wall and curl inwards. “I didn't start nothin'.” Nuke rolled his eyes and looked into Tully's. _We brought him back as soon as we could,_ his eyes said to the shot-caller.

“No, you didn't start it you just tried to finish it and--”

“Enough. Injuries?” Tully pinched his nose, rubbing it and was glad when his men both shook their heads. “Take care of the schedule.” Luis wasn't likely to need any compensation; no one was injured. There was just the potential for further problems if it wasn't fixed. Tully needed to move on _something_ , his men needed the outlet. They were turning on allies and each other was going to be next. He remembered the glares he was getting from the Triads. “Nuke, make sure the chinks aren't trying any funny business. Wouldn't put it past them, or black for that matter, to try and arrange a fight like this.” Tully had no evidence of it, but they needed some kind of focus. He turned away, clearly dismissing them, and looked down at his boy.

Juice was shivering. Trembling, with his knees to his chest. Tully managed to not look as afraid as he felt as he crossed the room to sit beside him. “Still with me?”

“Mostly.” The boy was trying to remain in the moment. He sniffled. “Hold me.” That voice was shaking, and Juice rarely seemed to actually ask for such comfort. Tully was usually the one to simply offer.

Tully didn't need to be told twice. He just pulled Juice into his arms, wrapping long limbs around his boy. “Shhh, you're safe.” The boy pushed closer and unclenched his fists. Briefly as he extended his fingers Tully could see the half moons imbedded into his palms. “I got you, baby boy.” He adjusted to gently grip Juice's hand, rubbing at the almost-wounds and the desperate attempt to keep himself grounded. It probably wasn't the healthiest way of doing it, but prison wasn't a gentle nurturing environment. You did anything that worked.

“N-nuke _didn't_ start anything.” Juice mumbled mostly into Tully's chest, though the way he adjusted suddenly put himself practically in the older man's lap. Tully just finished the movement for him and pulled the boy there. Tully was glad for their height difference; he could make his beloved feel _safe_ now. “He j-just stopped it. From getting worse. 'S why there's no lock down.” More mumbling as he settled down, this time speaking into Tully's neck. Which he then kissed lightly. “S-sorry.”

“It's alright.” Tully wanted to run his hands up and down the boy's spine. It was too soon, though, and so Tully kept his arms wrapped around him. “Nothing to be sorry for, baby. I'm proud of you. I'll take care of the scheduling error.”

There was the tiniest smile. “Thank you, Papi.” Juice sighed but didn't look inclined to move. “Headshrinker says it'll get better...right?”

“Mmhm. I say so, too.” Forget what the prison administration said, what Tully said was the far more important of the two things. He didn't say that out loud, though; Tully wasn't going to badmouth the shrink in front of his sweet boy. Seeing him was helping Juice, even if Tully didn't trust the doctor any further than he could sling a piano. “You did well.”

Juice nodded, rubbing his scalp on Tully's chin. He discovered he liked the sensation of it some time ago, and nuzzled him like that often. It was good incentive for Tully to keep his face clean; Juice couldn't always get his head completely bald and stubble against stubble wasn't comfortable in the slightest. “Got all of me clean 'fore it got too bad. An' I had to stop and, you know, stay there. Nuke helped with that too.” Juice shifted so he could look at Tully properly; they could almost do it eye-to-eye when he was on the older man's lap. “Mickey too, but he didn't want you to know.” His love gave a flash of that beautiful grin, the mischievous one before he pressed close once more.

“He's so modest.” Tully chuckled, turning to look through his bars at the other man. Mickey gestured rudely, like he knew what they were talking about. He'd thank his second more appropriately later. “Mm, baby boy, what are you doing tomorrow morning?” Tully really did want Juice to meet his brother and he could arrange it for before or after his own meeting. Likely after.

The young man rolled one shoulder before he rubbed at his own hands similarly to how Tully had been before. “Ow.” He quietly mumbled. “Uh, nothin'. Just hittin' the books. And having breakfast.”

Tully bent slightly to kiss Juice's nose, and again take over the gentle soothing of his aching palms. Then he returned to petting the boy's spine like he'd held off from doing before. Juice briefly tensed, and then relaxed with a soft sigh. “Good. That's it.” It amazed Tully that it took just those little words for his lover to be okay with what Tully was doing. “Mm, now. My brother is coming tomorrow, would,” here Tully paused before he continued, because it was a little nerve-wracking, “would you want to meet him?”

Juice's eyes went wide briefly, and he nodded. “Y-yeah, I wanna meet him.” Now he grinned, big as he wrapped his arms around Tully. “Please, thank you, I wanna.”

Tully couldn't help the pleased but sappy sound that came out of him with Juice's tight hug. “Alright, baby boy. Alright.” His heart was fluttering; his beloved was going to meet the only real family Tully had. “I'll make sure it's set up.” The older man returned the hug making a mental note to tell Will to not give his boy a shovel talk, either. Juice adjusted, but remained balled up neatly on Tully's lap. His sweet love still wanted to be held after whatever really happened in the showers, and Tully was happy to oblige. He wanted Juice to relax again.

The little huff from Juice after a little while told Tully that he had, in fact, managed it. “So, you met my family, I'm gonna meet yours...we've been fuckin'...” Juice was counting each thing on his fingers, up to three now. “Said 'I love you'.” Now a grin, which made Tully grin right back. “Love you. Uh, oh yeah. We went on dates. C'n I call you my boyfriend now?”

Before his boy's grin had even the smallest chance of fading, like Tully knew it was going to because it did whenever Juice joked around with him, the man nuzzled him. “I don't see why not. Everyone else does. Just not to our faces.”

“Wait, what?” Juice had been about to go onto a stammering apology for his forwardness, and now Tully was derailing his plans. The face he made was cute enough that Tully had to kiss it again, right between the eyebrows before he moved down to Juice's nose. Then a lightest peck on his lips which made his boy smile in that sweet way. Where he blushed and his eyes sparkled like no one had ever truly made him feel so good. “Um, they do?”

“Mmhm.” Tully gave him another good squeeze. “You should listen more closely, beautiful. People say the damnedest things when they think you're not.” Now it was Tully's turn to grin mischievously. “My little spy, how's that, mm?”

“Ha. Everyone knows who I am. And I kinda stand out besides.” But the way it sounded, Juice might actually enjoy the role. Tully set the thought aside. Something to bring up to Mickey, when he took over. “Mmm.” Juice's nuzzling brought Tully back to the moment. “I should study now if I'm gonna spend the morning with you an' Will.”

Tully took the hint as it was, and released the boy from his hold. “That sounds like an excellent plan.” He watched as Juice got up to grab his books from the desk. “Can you hand me my paper?” Really it wasn't his or Juice's, anymore but most of the one Juice used was taken up by his notes Tully didn't understand. The boy returned, sitting down next to the shot-caller far more easily than he had even a few hours ago. Clearly Tully had some healing touch, or something. He slid over the legal pad and the pen on top of it. “Good boy.”

“What were you working on?” Juice adjusted, putting his knees up to brace his book while the pad rested to his other side. Not the first time he'd been tucked like that while he wrote. It didn't look terribly comfortable to Tully but Juice insisted he was fine.

“Just a letter to the lawyer.” Tully shrugged and he was about to put pen to paper when he felt Juice stiffen beside him. “Mm?”

The boy started to shift again. “Oh, uh. If you wanna I'll go to the desk. Or you can, if you'd rather.”

Tully looked over and rose his eyebrow. “Baby if I was bothered, would I have had you bring it over here?” He kissed Juice's cheek. “It's nothing that important, beautiful. Relax.” He put on his shot-caller voice, delighted when Juice shuddered on hearing it. He adjusted his sitting position then as he'd gotten suddenly uncomfortable in his groin. “Atta boy.” They deserved this quiet, the peace they were getting right now. Tully started writing once he knew Juice was alright, but his mind drifted elsewhere. Retirement. OG Tully, it sounded good in his head. Let the younger men have all the excitement; Tully could do personal projects. Juice. Maybe go back to writing music. A memoir, perhaps, people ate that shit up. Especially if it was a redemption, change-of-ways sort of story. “What do you think, love? 'From Nazi to Queer: The Ron Tully Story'?”

Juice blinked owlishly at him. “I missed somethin' but uh it sounds like a good Lifetime movie?”

Oops. Tully hadn't told him of his plans after all, so it _didn't_ make much sense. “Don't worry 'bout it.” Another kiss to Juice's temple as he tore the short letter from the pad. “Thinking of ways to occupy my time when I'm not with you.” He kissed his boy again as he unfolded his long legs to get off the bed. He folded the letter and then rummaged around to find his envelopes and stamps.

“Like you're running out of things to do? Mm, another reason to take over the AB.” Juice grinned, teasing gently again. “So much leisure time.”

“Oh, this is in between making sure this place doesn't fall apart.” _Because without you it will._ The little voice in his head piped up. _You_ _can't_ _retire._ Tully shook his head and crossed back to sit next to Juice. He was feeling particularly cuddly and needy, apparently. Shut the voice up; remind himself why he was doing it.

Like Juice knew he needed it the boy adjusted his seating position so that Tully could press closer than he'd been sitting before. “Mm.” Juice hummed before Tully dropped his head to snuggle it under Juice's chin; quite different from how it usually was. He was just being downright demanding today. “'Network pathways offer the greatest security risk outside of employees.' Well no shit, Sherlock.” Juice scoffed but continued to read out loud. It was one way to pass the time, even if Tully didn't understand most of it. He just liked being with Juice. “Remind me to get the networking book, Papi.” Juice dipped his face this time to place a shy kiss on Tully's forehead. “Especially if you still want me to do the thing.”

Tully nodded. “I do, and I will.” He took a breath and lifted his hand from where he rested it on Juice's abdomen. No wonder his boy took this position so often, it was rather comfortable. Tully gestured so that Juice would continue, so they would both get their minds off of the crappy morning.

Of course they couldn't remain that way. A quiet throat-clearing interrupted them after a few more paragraphs. “Juan Carlos?”

Juice groaned as he straightened, and Tully felt the brief ripple of tension beneath him. “Doc. 'S Juice. C'mon, please?” Tully too lifted his head. The shrink was standing in front of their cell door, calmly watching his love read to him. The shot-caller's hackles rose and involuntarily his arm clenched around Juice's waist. “Juan Carlos ain't....'s what the principal called me when I was in trouble.” The way his boy's nose crinkled was precious. “Anyway, what's up, Doc?”

Tully had to bite his lip to keep from snickering at his surprisingly good imitation of Bugs. “Heard you had a problem this morning? In the showers. Just came to check on you.” Like it was way more than an hour or two ago; it certainly felt like it to Tully.

The boy stiffened again and Tully glared at the doctor. Then beyond him, because _someone_ had to have talked for the doctor to come down here to the wing.

“I-- it wasn't so bad, Doc. Did the stuff I was supposed to. The mindfulness shit.” At the same time Juice gave Tully a hidden squeeze. Reassuring the man that he was alright; it wasn't what he was supposed to do but it made Tully focus. “Felt th' water on my skin an' the walls under my hands and Nuke told me th' date and shit.” One shoulder rolled before he properly shrugged. “'M doin' alright, Doc.”

The doctor's eyebrow went up, but there was the smallest hint of a smile. “And now?”

Juice returned the smile; actually he grinned with that brilliant grin at him. “Ain't it obvious? Being nice to myself and all that. Hangin' out with people I like, doing things that I like to do.” Obviously he'd talked about his and Tully's relationship in the safety of the doctor's office because he didn't seem too bothered mentioning it now. Tully didn't disguise the smirk, pleased at his beloved. He understood what he meant by the statement that 'Nuke helped' earlier. Tully would have to reward the man. “C'n we talk about it next appointment? 'M doing fine right now. Promise.” There was the slightest twinge of Juice's begging tone, and Tully was now the one to gently squeeze him. Soothe him and promise him he was safe.

The doctor stared for a moment and then nodded. “Okay. I'll hold you to that, Mr. Ortiz.” He looked to Tully again before nodding once more and walking away. He had no fear of the shot-caller, and Tully could sort of respect that. No fear, just acknowledgment that Juice and Tully were an item, and Tully was going to make sure his boy was alright.

“He ain't so bad, just doesn't suffer any bullshit.” Juice quietly spoke once the man was well away. “C'n be real nice. And he's been helpful, Papi.”

It sounded like Juice was trying to convince him to let him keep going. Tully sat up now and pressed a kiss to those perfect lips. Like Tully could stop him, or would. “I can tell, beautiful boy.” He murmured into Juice's mouth before he smirked. “I won't stop you, even if he does make you cry sometimes.” Those had been rough days, when Juice came back still whimpering and sniffling. “See, I must love you. I haven't had him shanked for that.”

It made Juice laugh, which was the desired effect. “Twu wuv.” Juice kept up his grin. “There's something I should suggest for movie night. Princess Bride.”

“Shit _yes_ Pit, I love that movie!” Nuke crowed. Their private time had apparently ended.

“You like the weirdest things, Nuke.” Juice was clearly teasing him, so Nuke just laughed back. “Ever read the novel? It's funny.”

“I have.” Tully spoke up again though he didn't unwind himself from his octopus-like hold on his boy. “It's hysterical. I think anyway, I _was_ pretty high when I read it.” He pet Juice now. “You wanna go to lunch, baby? It's about time we should get up if you do.” Tully remained quiet, just kept his hands on his sweet lover. He was patient in his question, knowing that Juice would need a minute to think.

“I--” Juice hesitated, before he shook his head. “I'll come to dinner though.”

Juice knew that Tully didn't want him to skip too many meals, but he'd been good for the last few days and went to all of them. “Alright.” He stood and pulled a couple of meal bars out from under his pillow, setting them down on the desk. “Eat if you get hungry, beautiful.” Tully turned to look at his boy, who was already adjusting to go back to his studies. Without the distraction of his boyfriend, though the way he curled around Tully's pillow told the shot-caller everything he needed to know about how Juice missed him already.

“I will.” Those brown eyes looked up to Tully and yet again he mouthed the sweetest words Tully could hear. “I love you.” He said without sound, but Tully still understood.

He gently smiled back at his boy before he turned toward the bars where his men were waiting. Tully slipped into his usual place, deciding then to put his worries about the future aside for now. He was still the boss, and he needed to do the work that was in front of him.

Of course there was always work, and immediately Mickey launched into coded business talk. Border Patrol had _finally_ accepted the extra cash to look the other way. “But of course, there's always more.” Mickey murmured to Tully. “I'm hearing rumors about just how angry the chinks are with us.”

Tully was watching the cafeteria and his eyes swiveled to the table that the Triads had reclaimed. They were closely knit together, with one lookout. It was how they always gathered; Tully noted the failure point but made no comment about it. “Boss, you're more or less safe on the block but you and Pit shouldn't go anywhere without an escort.”

“That extends to everyone.” Tully picked up the sandwich that was their lunch today. “Pairs at minimum only.” A defensive position; any more movement than that and it was likely that the Triads, and the prison administration, would think that the Aryan Brotherhood was gearing up for something big. The table mumbled their assent, and Tully gestured for Mickey to continue. The delicate balancing act that was Tully's life went on, and he found himself thinking about how good it might be for him to hand over the reins to someone else. Have _them_ deal with all the administrative bullshit, because while his men made smart-ass comments about Tully taking all kinds of leisure time they didn't understand that much of his work was done quietly. Writing letters or making phone calls. A nod at the right time or the shake of his head in another. Things that were mostly invisible.

And the weight. So many lives, so much money. It was all at stake and while he might miss it, would miss the power that came with, Tully wasn't sure he wouldn't be glad to see the enormity of it go. He leaned back, watching his men and listening to them. They were talking amongst themselves about the other tables, careful to be coded. Mickey had realized that Tully wasn't really paying attention to him and had paused, just watching as well. It took him a moment of just scanning the cafeteria, surveying his kingdom before he finally turned his attention back to Mickey. “So, pork's stabilized. How about those horse auctions?”

“Well. Breakers are taking their cut but we're still making plenty of cash,” Mickey smirked, “from what I heard more than the chinks did. People like knowin' their supply is comin' from you.”

Tully laughed. Revenge, in a way he hadn't anticipated. _Mess with the AB, with_ Tully _and you'll regret it._ “Well, we shall have to not disappoint the people, hm? To our continued success in the horse business.” He rose his glass of apple juice which Mickey tapped his own against. “Appointments?” On the other hand, giving up all of this power was going to be difficult. Letting the fame, rather the infamy, go.

“Just a couple.” Mickey gestured and two cons approached.

Tully leaned back to listen to their problems, pleased when he was able to solve them with a minimum of insinuated threats. King Solomon had nothing on him. Lunch was almost over, though, by the time the last man (a junkie in his debt come to pay it off) wandered away. He stood once he noticed all of the men were done. “Tully, Pit gonna be here at dinner?” Nuke spoke from behind him once they'd circled around him. “Gotta ask if he's, uh, ready for those paintings.”

The last of the Sons' ink. Tully had forgotten about it. “I'll make sure he is. Thank you for reminding me, Nuke.” He turned toward the inmate commissary. Mickey automatically followed; no one went alone after all. Those small boxes shouldn't take nearly as long as the forearm had. Maybe Nuke could blur the outline like they'd planned so many weeks ago. Tully would mention it when the three spoke at dinner.

“Shit, boss. They got Snoballs.” Mickey practically moaned behind him. It was the only candy Mickey would buy, and they stocked them so rarely it was a race to see who got them first.

Tully smirked, contemplating buying the box and making Mickey beg for them. But he was soft and just gestured his second in front of him so he could make sure he got some. “Thanks, boss.” Tully just waved trying to decide what he was getting. More protein bars for sure, and dessert. He liked things he could feed to Juice, so he picked up another package of Skittles. Also, Ho-Hos, because sometimes he was mentally about 14 and the name was funny. He'd definitely get some of those for himself.

Once their purchases were paid for the men went down the cell block, breaking off into their cells once they reached them. Juice in the hour that Tully had been gone seemed to have moved from his bed to the desk, judging by how the surface had been rearranged. His letter was still folded and unmoved from its spot, which eased a small worry in Tully's mind. Not that he didn't trust Juice, but he was still an old con with certain habits. Also good was the fact that the two meal bars were gone, the wrappers neatly in their trash.

But Juice wasn't in his own bunk, or in the chair. He was up on Tully's bunk. Careful to remain on his knees and in stocking feet for extra security, Juice was running his hands along top of the wall, close to the ceiling. Clearly measuring it; Tully had an idea that it was for the email scheme. He was so sucked into his work, that Juice jumped a little when the door opened and Tully stepped in. “Forgive my ignorance, baby boy,” The shot-caller set his bag of groceries down and climbed up onto the ladder to see easier, “but couldn't you have measured it from down on the floor?” Nothing had been disturbed on his bed except for the sheets; Juice had been almost obsessively careful. Tully was still a little irritated. The boy should have waited.

“S-sorry, Papi.” The smile was sheepish and the sliver of annoyance Tully had felt by Juice's being up here melted away. “K-kinda got sucked in on planning.” He shifted, clearly making ready to get down. Tully didn't move just yet. “An' I could have but it wouldn't have been nearly so accurate. Which you want, right?” Juice grinned at him, conniving at first and then trying to get Tully to smile with its sheepishness.”Mickey needs good numbers for th' whole project.” The shot-caller realized the smile wasn't shy, it was fearful.

Tully stepped down and gestured for Juice to follow. “Careful.” His boy _was_ still in socks after all and if you weren't used to getting in and out it was dangerous. Juice did exactly what he was told until he was on the floor again. He stood in front of Tully still wearing the fear-grin, his eyes darting downward. “Baby boy.” He pulled Juice's chin up so that he was forced to look into Tully's eyes. “Just ask next time.” Tully smirked. “God only knows what could be hidden up there.” The fact was there was nothing, but it was principle.

“Okay.” Juice's voice was soft and Tully pulled him into a hug. His lover pushed into it, wanting forgiveness. Really it was a marked improvement over Juice beating himself up silently. Suffering alone. The shrink helped, and Tully would always give Juice anything he needed be that a hug, a reassuring word, or on one occasion a tear-drawing cleansing spanking.

Tully squeezed him. “You're alright, beautiful. Not mad.” He had to smile as he pressed his lips to Juice's forehead. “Pleased you're so dedicated.” The shot-caller could feel the beaming against him. Dedicated to Tully and by extension his Brotherhood. Mostly Tully, though. And it was freely given; Juice didn't have to do any of it but he did anyway. “Ho-Hos or Skittles, since you ate your lunch?”

“They had Ho-Hos?” Juice grinned even bigger. That sweet tooth was insatiable; it was good he'd been able to work out with Nuke again. “Please?”

Juice could act so _young_ when he wasn't a hot mess. When he felt safe. Tully let him go and gestured for Juice to climb onto the bed. He picked one package out of the grocery bag and tossed the rest onto his bunk, sitting next to Juice. The boy immediately snuggled onto his chest. “Mm.” Tully couldn't help himself as he unwrapped the pastry-like confection. “Love you.” He broke off a chunk and held it out for Juice.

His boy leaned in more and pulled it from Tully's fingers, careful not to nip. “Love you too.” His response was softer but no less true. “Got th' chapter done. Prolly tomorrow I'll see if Cornelius has a computer free t'practice on.” Juice looked up from his spot. “'S why I was lookin'. Didn' wanna take a nap or anythin' but I was out of homework.”

“Shh. I told you it was fine, baby. I mean that, long as you ask.” Tully ran his hand down Juice's spine, and then up again. “Glad you kept your mind busy.” He placed another kiss on Juice's head. “Quit beating yourself up, baby boy.” Tully's order voice slipped out, knowing Juice was going to obsess if he didn't put a stop to it.

Juice took a long deep breath, exhaling slowly before he pulled his legs up fully onto the bed, knees to his chest and feet beneath him. Curled into a small ball and still resting on the other man at the same time. “Okay, Papi.” Acceptance, then, that Tully wasn't playing games at least in this instance. The Club's tendency to do so would no doubt stick with Juice for a long, long time necessitating this kind of conversation repeatedly. Apparently Juice had talked about it in therapy once, how the Club treated him, but Tully didn't know details beyond the fact that it was only the one time. So far, anyway. The shot-caller had a feeling the doc was going to bring it up again eventually. “Anythin' interestin' happen at lunch?”

Tully shook his head. “Nah. Appointments, business.” He took a bite out of the Ho-Ho in his hand before holding it out for Juice to do the same. “Nuke wants you to come to dinner.” Tully's free hand, wrapped comfortably around Juice shifted to graze Juice's chest where the ink was. The boy had been careful the last few weeks to not pull his shirt off unnecessarily. “Said I'd make sure you would.”

The boy understood immediately the reasons why, at the same time he pushed slightly into Tully's touch. “Mkay. Planned on it, remember?” Juice let out a quiet sound of happiness as Tully gave him the last of the Ho-Ho in his hand, delicately plucking it out with those entirely too talented lips. They sat there in quiet, Tully working his way through the second Ho-Ho before Juice swallowed and filled the silence. “Wha' should I know 'bout Will?” He mumbled into Tully's skin. “Anythin' I can't mention at the dinner table?”

Tully chuckled around a mouthful of Ho-Ho. “Nah. He's seen and heard it all. Kinda touchy about my ex,” Will had introduced them, “but I can't imagine she'd be a topic of conversation. You're a smart boy.” Tully just said these things to see Juice smile, especially when he knew the boy's head was starting to churn. He was always so starved for compliments, even after nearly two months of living with Tully and getting them daily. “Don't worry, baby boy.” Tully gave him yet another kiss.

“Have you _met_ me?”

Deadpan, Tully answered him. “Yes.” He continued before Juice could sputter out more of a response. “Which is why I'm telling you now, beautiful, so I have plenty of time to remind you as many times as you need to hear it.” Tully dropped his head and tilted Juice's chin up again so that he could finalize the conversation with a deep, hungry, electric kiss on the lips. Tully wanted to drive out _all_ the thoughts in Juice's gorgeous head not just the anxious and obsessive ones.

It worked, and Juice pulled back just to pant. “What's my name 'gain?” He grinned, the best one that was so brilliant it seemed to light up the cell. The boy nuzzled him, sighing with pleasure. “Wan' you to fuck me, Tully.”

Tully wanted to fuck him. Wanted to be inside that perfect ass, as close as two people could physically get with one another. They'd been waiting, waiting until Juice's injuries from the beating were healed and he was on more stable ground mentally. It wasn't like they'd been celibate; hands and mouths and late night dirty whisperings had gotten them through the last few weeks. But Tully wanted more. Juice begged for it at every opportunity now, so he must have wanted it as much as Tully. It was getting difficult to deny him, but the older man wanted to be sure. He mumbled into Juice's skin at his temple, wrapping his body against Juice as much as the boy had wrapped around him. Almost too cuddly but it had the secondary effect of hiding their growing erections from the hall outside of the cell. “I know. I want you too, my sexy perfect boy.” Tully reached up to lightly stroke the tattoos on his scalp. To trace his fingers along the fascinating patterns. “Two more weeks.” He'd managed to convince his sweet boy to wait at for at least his ribs to be declared healed.

The quiet whine that came out of Juice made his cock throb. Tully just _had_ to kiss him again to silence the boy and relieve the ache at his dick. It was good there were so few people around, otherwise Tully and Juice might have started to hear complaining about it. “Alright...” Juice acquiesced finally, but it sounded so disappointed that the other man just had to change something.

“Tell you what, baby boy. If dinner goes well, you an' I'll have a little fun tonight.” Tully smiled down at him, placing a light kiss on the boy's cheek. “No cocks in asses, but I think,” he ran one finger down Juice's thigh to make him shudder, “I can figure something else out, hmm?” Juice bit his lip, fighting a mewl and that made Tully's arousal jump again. “Not that I'm complaining, beautiful, but what brought this on?” He remained close, wrapping his arms around Juice again. They really needed to settle down sometime before dinner, but Tully couldn't help but continue to plant kisses on the boy's skin.

Juice heated beneath him. “Eh, heh,” he sounded clearly embarrassed, “I wasn' totally honest with you, Papi.” Tully waited, only pulling Juice closer. “Um. After I finished th' chapter I started daydreamin'.” His voice went lower now, almost erotic. “Dirty things. Got all worked up, Papi, I was thinkin' about all the things I wanna do with you. You still haven' cum on my face in the shower.”

Tully swallowed dryly and whatever control he'd had on his erection went away in a flash. Juice, because he was so incredibly intelligent, could speak as filthy as any cheap whore and Tully honestly loved it. When he could get the boy talking; it didn't happen often so while Tully knew he _should_ stop Juice, he wasn't going to _._ “That's true, beautiful,” Tully's own voice dropped to a lusty roughness, eliciting another shudder from his love. “What else were you thinking about, when I wasn't here?”

“Y-you haven' shown me th' places to fuck outside, so I c'n come back in with cum running down my legs.” Juice sounded a little scolding, but his eyes were bright and pleased that Tully was enjoying himself. “Thought 'bout the gay clubs. How people _watched_ me.” Juice shuddered and Tully felt him lick his lips. “Which I never liked that much, but...” He paused, finally turning his head so he could kiss Tully lightly on his lips. A distraction, maybe, or gathering his thoughts.

“No one's but _mine_ to watch.” Tully breathed against him, growling and Juice shuddered again. “So don't worry about that, my little minx.”

Juice swallowed and rocked his hips. It was so much better for them both now that he could move without agony. “Yeah...” Now he smirked. “But what if you've got appointments, an' I'm under the table choking on your cock? No one knows, it's jus' me and you. But if you're not careful, if _we're_ not careful you're gonna get caught.”

Tully bit back a moan. “Fuck, Juice. Stop.” He had to lean back, get a little bit of breathing room before he simply took Juice's head and forced that perfect mouth onto his cock. A role reversal, putting Tully into a more vulnerable position than Juice and it was _so hot._ Tully had no idea why, either. Maybe it was Juice's confidence. “B-baby boy.” He took a minute to pant and slowly unwind himself; slowly so that his love didn't feel abandoned. “I s-see why you had to distract yourself.”

The boy nodded, shifting and adjusting himself as Tully was. “I love you?” He grinned.

“I love you too. Even when you give us both problems that we can't take care of. And have dinner in between.” Tully smirked back, wagging his finger. “Go get a computer book, baby. That ought to be as good as a cold shower, mm?” He crossed his legs; not to pinch but to hide the bulge.

Juice got up, but lingered near the bunk for a moment. “ _Yes sir.”_ But he said it in that exact tone of voice that was designed to make Tully throb.

Tully's shaved eyebrows rose up and he leaned forward, giving Juice an opened handed swat to his backside. The boy yelped, but it wasn't a horrible broken sound of fear. In fact he too was wide-eyed, biting his bottom lip now to keep from moaning. Normally neither were big into hitting; it was a loss of control to Tully and put Juice in a bad head space. This time it was the right thing to do just then. The shot-caller put on his boss voice. “Don't tease, baby boy.”

“Sorry Papi.” This time it lacked that risque edge, and Juice practically bounded across their cell to pick up one of his computer books on the desk. He returned, sitting next to Tully though he didn't snuggle up so close as before. “'S okay?”

Tully slung an arm over his shoulders. “It's fine. I'm sorry I hit you.” Even if it was right that time, that didn't mean it was okay the next. Tully would always apologize even if it worked.

“It's okay. I trust you to not...not do it at a bad time. Or go too far, or anything.” Juice leaned now a little closer on the other man as he flipped through the book. “I was bein' a brat.” Now he paused, and before he found his place on the book he shook his head slightly. Pulling his mind from whatever memory he'd had dredged up. “Where were we?”

The shot-caller knew better than to ask about the memory. Juice would speak about it when he was willing. “Mmm, I don't remember beautiful.” His erection had finally started to ebb away now that he wasn't actively paying attention to it. “And you know I won't understand anything anyway, so just start wherever you like.”

Juice nodded, and then sat up straight so he wasn't leaning on Tully so much. He patted his lap in invitation and Tully shifted, resting his head on Juice's legs like he belonged there. Tully had a feeling that he'd been the only one to cuddle Juice like this. The boy carded his fingers through Tully's hair, gentle and careful. It made the older man sigh in pleasure. No one did this, had done this to him, except Juice. Juice started to read, hands never stilling. Tully certainly didn't understand most of it, but Juice really did have a good reading voice. “Chibs called me that. Brat.” It was a bit sudden, in between paragraphs about database tunneling, whatever that was. “When we teased each other.”

Tully turned to look up at his boy, and Juice was looking down at him though his eyes were a bit unfocused. Back to the past and better places, then. He was getting better at least vocalizing when he was in a memory like that. “Mm? Yeah?” Keep Juice talking, and he'd come out of it sooner, and usually feel better for it. Tully reached up to stroke Juice's chin, a bit fuzzy with stubble since he hadn't gotten a chance to shave.

“Yeah.” Juice closed the book and set it to his side, still bringing his fingers through Tully's hair. He rubbed his scalp a little too, though he didn't seem conscious of the movement. It was just as delightful. “Not jus' like. Friends teasin' either. Before we,” it took him a minute to speak again, looking for the words. Tully didn't mind. “Had sex. An' after.” Juice smiled a little. The depth of adoration on his face he had for the President was written all over it and for one moment Tully felt a stab of jealousy. He chased that away, though, knowing that Juice looked at him like that when he thought Tully wasn't looking. “We weren't really together. He ain't gay. He likes girls, just...he likes me too. Or did, I guess.” Juice sighed, that little line appearing between his eyebrows. “Sorry.”

“You inspire, my love.” Tully grinned, and then Juice did too, just enough to ease Tully. “Wet panties and hard cocks from everyone you meet.” He sat up and kissed his boy's chin because it was easiest to reach. Juice bent his head and Tully lightly tapped their lips together before he laid back down. “And don't be sorry baby. Not that I don't get jealous, or possessive, but the past is that.” He drew his fingers across Juice's throat, just needing to touch him like he wasn't draped over his lap. “Doesn't matter anymore.” Not to minimize it, of course, but Juice had to know that he had Tully now and the past couldn't hurt him. The smile that his boy gave him in return told Tully he did understand that. He was curious. “Don't have to answer if you don't want to, beautiful but... was he your first?” Tully didn't know why he wanted to know. Just that he did. Wanted to make sure that Juice's first sexual experience with a man wasn't Tully hurting him. Which was also something they were going to have to talk about, someday.

Juice blushed, even to the tip of his nose. “Yeah. I mean. Ignoring th' gay clubs. Cuz they didn't. You know.”

There were so many crude ways Tully could finish the sentence, but he didn't. Just hummed and leaned up to kiss Juice again. “Love you.”

“Love you too, Papi.” Juice picked up the book again. “'M all yours. Chibs... me 'n him were over f'r a long time.” He shrugged slightly, not looking hurt over it. At least any more than he ever looked hurt talking about times gone by. “Loved each other, but we couldn't, you know, be together.” Juice flicked through the book trying to find out where he'd left off, and Tully brushed his boy's fingers with his own again. “So it didn't work out.” Juice caught his hand and found the place he'd stopped. He put his finger there to mark it before he set the book down again. “It's better with you anyway. You don't..you don't care if people know. That we're together...that you're..”

“Gay?” Tully hummed. “Never have. I'm who I am. Doesn't make me any less capable of taking care of business.” He laughed as he squeezed Juice's hand. “I did have a slight misstep with the ex, but I came to my senses.” Now Tully got serious. “And you, my sweet love, are just as capable no matter what.” The praise made Juice beam over Tully and the older man's heart fluttered with his ability to make Juice happy. It made him happy, too. “I got you, baby.”

Juice's lip quivered a bit, like he was going to cry happy tears. “Shh.” Tully placed a finger on his lips now. “None of that, my pretty Puerto Rican.” Juice managed to contain it, and kissed the pads that rested on his face. “Good. Now,” Tully reached next to him and touched the book, “We should have plenty of time even with a break for dinner to finish the chapter.”

“We c'n talk more tonight? About serious stuff?”

Tully nodded. “Anytime, beautiful. About anything you like.” Which they did, later that night after an uneventful dinner. Juice confirmed that, in a week or so, he'd be able to sit and get tattooed again. They made their appointment, and Tully made sure his own schedule was clear though he anticipated by that point he wouldn't be needing to worry about it. Which reminded him. “Will's coming tomorrow. Make sure my afternoon appointments are moved to the morning.” The laughter around him made him snicker as well. Tully knew himself; he was notorious for being far more generous with favors after a visit from the only family that mattered to him and he had learned to nip it in the bud. Juice seemed unusually fidgety, but Tully dipped one hand beneath the table to squeeze his knee. It got him to settle for the rest of dinner.

Now Juice curled up quite comfortably against Tully's chest, his boy facing the wall with the older man between him and the rest of the world. They'd circled around a few topics; Will took up a great deal of their time but certainly Tully didn't mind it. He loved his brother, after all.

“He...introduced you? I see why you said he's touchy.”

“Mmhm. In one of the infrequent periods of time where I liked women. He met her doing his thing, and she and I hit it off. Married within the year.” Tully huffed, and shook his head. What a mistake that had been, for both of them. Tully didn't miss what they'd become, but they'd had it good at the beginning. He stroked Juice's side ever so light. “If I am truly honest, it half-worked until I went in. Then we came to our senses and it started going badly. The coke addiction didn't help.”

“Ouch. Ain't never been any girls I hit it off with like that. Sex, sure. Had 'nuff of that with the sweetbutts to keep the club off my back but it didn't actually _mean_ anything but fun _._ Not really interested in dating them. Thought even with that it made me bi but.” Juice looked back at him, and one hand found Tully's. “I dunno now. Guess it doesn't matter. Got you an' I'm happy.”

“Good.” Better than. He loved it when Juice was pleased and relaxed; he knew it was the same for Juice. The worries of the day pushed out, away from their cell and their shared bed. Tully squeezed and kissed the back of his neck. “And don't get hung up on labels, beautiful boy. 'Cept, you know,” and here Tully nibbled on the boy's ear, “ _Mine._ I believed I promised you something earlier, hmm?” He released Juice's hand so his own could go wandering again. He stroked Juice's abdomen, reveling in the twitch of the muscles there before he slipped up further. “You can still be bi and be with women only occasionally.” On the outside, anyway. Here he was one person's, and one alone. Tully brushed Juice's sensitive nipple through his shirt, and was rewarded with a little squirm. “I like _men_ ,” which of course he tweaked the hard nub at the same time, “even if I've been with women in the past.” Tully had done a lot of navel gazing about this, but now wasn't the time to further wax rhetoric about it. They'd both delayed long enough for the day, and just as the lights went out Tully dropped his hand to cup at Juice's groin. To rub at the bulge there. “You've been so very good, baby.” He didn't press his own hips on Juice's ass, not yet. Just wiggled the arm that Juice's head laid on so that he could rest the crook of his elbow against his boy's throat. “I want to fingerfuck you, baby boy. Make you cum just like that.” Tully had a good long time until he could fuck the boy properly, but that didn't mean he couldn't start the preparations.

“Please.” Juice's begging, the wanton sound made him almost moan in response. “Please, Papi.”

“Shhh, my love.” Tully nuzzled his ear again and pressed down on the throbbing cock in his hand. “Remember where we are.” A nip, and Tully brought his hand up to slide now down Juice's waistband. He had one more thing to say, the most important after telling Juice how much he was loved. “If you need me to stop, tell me.” Better to be blue-balled than hurt his boy, in any way.

Juice shuddered in his arms, and Tully wasn't totally sure if it was because of the words or the motions or the feelings behind it all. “I will.” Really that was all that Tully needed and he wiggled his fingers into Juice's pants. As usual his boy practically had soaked his underwear with all the precum he'd been making, and Tully found it easy to take him in hand and stroke nice and slowly.

His boy's moan was grateful, after all the teasing they'd been doing to each other, but it was just a hair too loud. Only one way to fix that, and Tully squeezed with the arm around Juice's throat. The boy went silent, air cut off but of course it only made him leak more. “Shhh, baby boy.” Tully whispered, shivering himself now at the power he was granted. Of course Juice trusted him but it went beyond into an extraordinary level of it. No one else would dare let Tully choke him, but Juice begged for it. He stroked again, and then let his lover's throat go so he could breathe. “Where oh where did we put the lube...” Tully hummed into Juice's ear as he brought his fingers over the sensitive tip of his cock. He knew exactly where the lube was; under the pillow. Juice wasn't all that creative when it came to hiding it from casual observers. On the other hand, it was always convenient. Tully was just prolonging the experience for his sweet baby boy.

“P-papi...” Juice whined again, quieter this time and Tully rewarded him, pressing his thumb on one of Juice's most erogenous spots. The boy squirmed in Tully's hold, reaching and snagging the vaseline on the second try. “F-found it.” He murmured, now trying to buck his hips into Tully's hand for more friction.

“Yes you did.” Tully smirked against the back of Juice's skull. “Thank you, baby boy.” Juice made such a sound of disappointment as Tully removed his hand from his boy's pants to take the lube away. “Tol' you I'm gonna make you cum with just my fingers inside you, remember?” With a surprising amount of dexterity Tully popped the lid off of the jar one-handed. “Though sometime I just want to be able to watch you touch yourself. Can't now, can I?”

Juice shuddered again. “Nuh-uh.” The boy paused as his chest heaved with need. “Papi, needa feel you.” The older con had carefully kept his groin away from Juice's ass. Not out of fear, just...caution. Not willing to rush it too fast. He'd wanted Juice to be ready for the sensation of Tully's cock against him, instead of grinding against the boy's ass without regard to his feelings. Fun though that may be in the future. “Please.”

Of course, Juice could beg like that and Tully would do whatever he asked. So Tully shifted closer, pressing his cock against Juice's ass. Right where he belonged, really. And the boy seemed to agree, judging by the sigh of pleasure at feeling him there. “ _Thank you_.” He breathed out, and arched so his back curved to fit in Tully's chest.

“I got you, baby boy.” Now Tully had a problem; he was out of hands, if he didn't want to move his arm from Juice's neck. He didn't, so he stuck the jar back into Juice's hand. “Hold.” An order, just so he could feel Juice shiver with the sound of it. “Good. Don't let go.” Tully felt his love squeeze the jar, and Tully moved again when he was sure it was secure. “So good, baby.” Tully shifted enough to liberally coat one finger in the substance, and he couldn't help the quiet moan as his cock dragged along the fabric with the movement. Juice's breathing stuttered against him but before Tully could be concerned his boy wiggled his backside teasing and asking for more wordlessly.

Tully did as he was begged for and the grinding relieving his own ache just enough that he could concentrate again. He rumbled into those tattoos. “Let me make you feel good.” Juice could return the favor later, with his incredible mouth. The boy didn't respond except to pull his hips back, allowing Tully access to his waistband. Tully wanted to take a different route. “You've got another hand, baby boy.” He whispered. “Take off your pants, nice and slow for Papi.” Tully wasn't really going to be able to see it, but he could certainly feel it. And knowing that Juice was participating? Active in his own pleasure? That was hot.

“Yes, Papi.” Juice whispered back and squirmed again, tugging lightly on his pjs with his free hand. He let out a soft, choked off gasp when Tully squeezed his throat. The boy pulled again, exposing the soft skin of his ass to Tully's waiting touch. The older man was careful not to make too much of a mess with his coated hands, but some accidental smears couldn't be helped. No doubt they'd clean up a little before sleeping anyway.

Tully released him to breathe again and Juice reacted by shifting just enough that his ass cheeks spread apart. “Very good.” Tully crooned at the same time his slipped his fingers slowly around the muscular backside. “Still mine. My sweet, sweet boy.” In a way he'd never have figured he might do in the past Tully dipped his fingers between the cleft of Juice's ass. “I love you.” The shot-caller murmured as he found that tight ring of muscle.

It was tight, as was Juice in his arms. Tully didn't advance. Not yet. This was the closest they'd gotten to real fucking since his boy was attacked; most of the last few weeks had been focused elsewhere. Tully's cock or Juice's, with generous touch all over each other's skin avoiding these places. Now it was time. Juice wanted it here, so they would work on it. “I got you. Talk to me, beautiful.” Keep Juice in the moment. Tully kissed his scalp again as the pad of his index finger rested lightly on his hole.

“F-feels good. Missed you.” Juice breathed and made himself relax. “Love you too.” He responded. He'd always respond like that.

“Missed you just as much.” Now Tully rubbed, just making little circles on his entrance. The way Juice shuddered was encouraging. “There's a corner, baby boy, outside. 'Cross the yard, opposite side from the highway. Know where I'm talking about?” Another shudder, and Juice nodded so Tully kept talking. “That's where I go if I wanna fuck outside. No one c'n see it, baby boy. Can't from the guard towers, or the general yard.” There were some extra patrols because of its seclusion but those were easily bought off. Tully nipped lightly on Juice's ear as he pressed briefly on his hole. Still tight, so the man went back to massaging as he had been. “Fuck you there. Leave you dripping.”

Juice was panting now, keeping it quiet as he could. “Marked.” He murmured and shuddered again. “Gonna leave m-me hard too?” There was a very soft hiss. “Right th-there, yeah.”

“Mmm. Maybe.” Tully smirked and finally the boy relaxed even further into his arms. “I'll decide depending on how good you are.” Now he pushed against the muscle again, sending Juice into a quiet mewling mess. “Act like that, baby, and you'll get to cum nice and hard.” Tully couldn't help himself; he ground his groin into Juice's ass. It did trap his hand briefly, but the sound Juice made was worth it. “Shhh, love.” Mickey would probably tan their hides if they woke him up. Again.

Tully lifted his hips and gently advanced his fingertip again. Now Juice's hole was pliable, no longer a barrier but almost inviting. Tight, still, but not from fear. “There you go, beautiful. Papi's got you.” Tully murmured and squeezed his throat for emphasis. He held it there, knowing that Juice was getting spots in his vision and the pleasure of Tully's finger making its way inside was being echoed all throughout his body. “So tight, Juicey.”

Juice squirmed enough that Tully released him from the choke hold. “Jus' for you.” He panted out. “Jus' yours. All yours.” The cut off of the quiet words told Tully that he'd bitten his lip to keep from getting louder.

“All mine, baby boy. And I'm all yours.” Tully sat up to nuzzle his cheek. Kiss it, with all the tenderness he could muster. He meant it, that he was Juice's. As long as Juice would have him, and as long as he could keep Juice around. “Love you.” Contrasting the words and gentility of them Tully pressed his finger in more, burying down until he was at the second knuckle. Juice's pants against his chest told Tully all that he needed to know about how it felt to him. Tully withdrew his finger with agonizing slowness. His cock throbbed with the memory of being inside this tight heat. He couldn't rock and grind though, so he just pressed his finger in once more. “So tight, baby. You feel full with just my finger in you?” Tully slid out all the way and Juice whined with a shake of his head. “Shh, baby.” More lube, and he knew Juice could feel what he was doing. “Not hurtin' you. I love you.”

Despite Tully telling him his plans Juice stuck his ass out begging for more without words. Now that he was relaxed again Juice wasn't willing to take it slow. “Greedy boy.” Tully murmured. His heart thumped though and he decided then to reward the young man even if he was greedy. Give him what he wanted and needed. “You want my cock. I know, baby,” Juice nodded with a whimper, “but just my hands for tonight.” He was quick to thrust his finger all the way inside and Juice moaned wanton for more. Tully silenced him with a squeeze at his throat and thrust as deep as he could. Thank god it was pretty deep with his long fingers. Juice bucked and writhed and Tully had to let his throat go before he bruised.

“Thank you,” were the first whispered words out of his mouth. He didn't even gasp for too much air; just enough to be able to speak first. “Papi...”

Another gasp, them, because Tully had pulled his finger out to grab Juice's cock. He rubbed it roughly through his pants. “So hard, beautiful.” He tweaked a nipple on his way back to the lube jar. “You know, I'm having the strangest desire to suck your cock. See what you taste like.”

Juice's shudder was so strong Tully wrapped one leg around him so they didn't lose the lube. Truth be told his cock throbbed hard at the thought. He'd never done it; it was one of those things you Just Didn't Do if you were gay in prison. But of course, Juice was different. “I like that idea too, beautiful.” He rocked his hips to prove how much he wanted to give into the desire. “Another day.” Tully smeared another finger in the jar before he let Juice go. The boy spread himself again; more silent begging as he panted with need.

Like he had before Tully started by rubbing slow circles around Juice's hole. It was certainly more relaxed than before, _almost_ pulling Tully in. But that could have been his own needy desire playing tricks on him. Tully decided to check. He adjusted enough to be able to murmur in Juice's ear. It wouldn't be good to have anyone hear him being so soft. “Still want?”

He expected a groan, a whine of need, of _get on with it_ but instead Juice hesitated. Tully froze immediately. “Baby?” He whispered. Juice hadn't made any indication that he was heading in a bad direction, but Tully's cock had been doing a lot of the thinking for him.

“'M fine, sorry.” Juice whispered back and twisted enough that he could almost see the boy's face in the dim light. There was the smallest of smiles there, Tully could tell though barely. “Please keep going. Please, Papi.” _Making me feel so good, even if I can't say so_ was unstated but the squirming way Juice adjusted himself spoke enough. He really was alright. “Love you.”

Tully kissed the back of Juice's skull. “Love you too.” He didn't want to keep his boy waiting now that he was satisfied Juice was okay. He started moving his fingers again, pressing on the ring of muscle before circling it once again. Juice moaned low, the sound carrying through Tully's chest more than through the air. “Good boy, shhh.” Tully murmured as he did it again before testing, teasing as he pushed his two fingers inside that tight heat.

He went slow to start, as he had before. And this time that slowness allowed him to feel Juice's twitching walls around him. Squeezing, tight and resistant at first but Juice's moans kept reassuring Tully. Then those walls relaxed and accepted the wider intrusion. “Ohh baby. Imagining my cock?”

“I am.” Juice was soft, pressed into his chest. “S-soon?”

“Mmhm.” He wouldn't deny the younger man things he'd promised. “Shh.” Tully continued his unhurried movement inward. Abruptly though he withdrew and gave Juice a bite on the back of his neck. Claiming, promising, to his boy that they were still together, still in love. That Tully still would protect him. He nibbled, and sucked to make a visible hickey and Tully slid his fingers inside, equally as lazy as he had before. Now, though he wiggled his fingers as he went deeper and deeper.

Juice seemed to want to both be still and struggle, so Tully took the option away from him. He cut off Juice's air and the boy went quiet. So much trust there, it still made the shot-caller's heart thud wildly. “Harder?” Tully murmured as he slipped his hand out again to Juice's tiny whine and then his nod. Without speaking he covered the two fingers with more lube and dipped between the cleft. He teased briefly, making sure he knew where he was thrusting before he did so; deep and quick and if Juice had had the ability he would have likely cried out. Tully just knew his boy that well. As it was he was rocking his hips in time with Tully's movements, and even in the dim light he could see Juice's pants were tented obscenely and he'd bet that they were soaked. “Don't cum yet, baby boy.” Tully moved just to see Juice buck again.

He whined, when he was released before he took a breath. “P-papi...” He tried to grind his ass into Tully's hand, but the older man just pulled his fingers back again. “P-please, 'm so close.”

“I know.” Tully growled as he pushed in roughly again, “but you're my good boy who won't cum yet.” He dipped his head to suck a bruise onto Juice's neck, and Juice suppressed another moan. Now he scissored his fingers slow, aware at how tight the boy's hole was. They'd have to go slow when they did get around to fucking. “Going to be so good when I'm inside of you with my cock. You're so tight.” Another chance to nibble at the spot he'd been working on while his still-slick fingers moved again.

Juice's chest heaved like he was about to take a breath, and instead of cutting it off Tully allowed it. Of course that meant Juice spoke, soft and with lust in every word. “Like 's m'first time again.” The boy shuddered in Tully's arms and his hole squeezed around Tully.

The shot-caller was thrown for a loop, unsure of how to respond. His cock certainly throbbed at the idea, but he didn't want to take away Juice's past. Not re-write it, because Juice's first time had been with someone he cared for. He curled his fingers now to rub on his boy's sweet spot, keeping him quiet at the same time with a tightening of his elbow. Buying himself a moment to think, not just to feel Juice writhe in pleasure though that was definitely a bonus. “Is that so?” Tully could put off the conversation, just licked the shell of Juice's earlobe to make him shudder. “That's my good boy. My good little virgin boy.”

Juice whimpered when Tully allowed him air. “Papi's gonna take good care of you.” He kept whispering as he slicked his fingers again, making sure Juice didn't notice the absence. “Make you mine for the first time.” That was better. Perfect, if he was honest with himself. Their first time together had been violent; Juice unwilling. Tully could make it right. He slid into Juice again, slow and steady, spreading before he withdrew. He wouldn't drag it out now, and once more he pressed on Juice's prostate just to hear him whine. “Shhh. My good boy, who feels so good.” More kisses to the nape of his neck, his earlobe, his scalp. Places Tully could reach without moving too much. “Do you want me to make you cum?”

The sound Juice gave was broken and soft, but he nodded, silent in his need. “P-please.” Always that begging. Tully rubbed the ring of muscle, this time with three fingers and this time only once. Just enough to give his sweet boy an idea of what was coming next.

Juice gasped as the older man breached his hole, the sound loud enough to get a grumbled _shut up_ from one of the other inmates. Tully choked then, silencing Juice and returning the other man's comment with a near-snarl. Must have been a new man; the others save Mickey kept their mouth shut now. “Mine.” He turned his attention back to Juice, and started pistoning his fingers in and out, deep and fast. “Mine to make cum whenever I want.” Tully hummed, feeling Juice tremble and maybe even see spots. “Not yet. Listen first, baby boy.” He kept pumping, his boy's hands gripping the blanket so that he didn't touch himself. That wasn't allowed. “After you cum, I want you to suck my dick. That's your real dessert, baby.”

His boy gave him a weak nod, and Tully briefly released him to get some air. He did stop his hands moving, knowing that the boy was just on the cusp of his orgasm. “I love you,” Tully whispered, a contrast to the roughness of his hand and the arm around Juice's throat. “Cum baby boy, cum for your Papi.” The strength of Juice's pleasure would never cease to amaze the shot-caller. He had to hold on tight just to make sure that Juice wouldn't shove him off the bed. His hole contracted around him rhythmically, no doubt in time with the jets of cum leaking from his cock. “There you go. Atta boy, my good boy.” Tully pulled his fingers out and loosened his grip once Juice's movement had subsided.

Tully expected Juice to take a second and breath, but as always Juice defied his expectations. Once he had the room Juice whipped around and squirmed along Tully's body. Cool air against his own aching hard cock made Tully shiver as Juice pulled his pants down, but it was only a moment before it was engulfed in wet perfect heat. “Shh-aahh!” Tully moaned a little too loud, but Juice was too perfect. His boy knew the places to touch with his tongue, exactly how to suck, and Tully's own orgasm slammed into him entirely too quickly. It was almost like he was floating from his own body, just the pair of them together in pleasure. The older man kept his hands on Juice's scalp, the boy gagging and swallowing as much as he could.

Tully finally released him to quiet gasps, and the both of them panted. “'M a mess.” Juice mumbled against Tully's thighs. He nuzzled them before he tugged Tully's pants back up. “You're not.” The boy almost giggled as he pulled himself up to cuddle on Tully's chest again.

“Shh.” Tully chuckled cognizant of the others. “You kept me clean, baby boy.” He stroked his boy's cheek, or what he could see in the light of the hallway outside. For a long moment he just sat there, getting his bearings and helping his boy come down from his own orgasmic high. “Want me to get you all cleaned up?” Easy enough to get Juice's washcloth, and even clean pjs as long as the boy was willing to let him move. “Then we can sleep, mm?”

“Uh huh.” Juice quietly breathed on Tully's neck, and the other man felt him scrunch his nose. “Shower soon, I hope.”

Tully hummed as untangled himself from Juice slow and gentle so as to not startle him. “Going to talk to Pearson about that.” Another kiss before he rolled out of the bed. First he washed his hands of the lube before it dried any further. Everything was in its place, so it was easy to gather the items he needed even in the dark. He wet the washcloth with warm water, hearing Juice wiggle out of his clothes. “Maybe one more week with me.” Tully sat back down again.

He was about to start looking for Juice's face, but he didn't need to. Juice had reached for his hands, holding them for a moment. “'M fine,” a pause, “Jus' lemme try it again.” He had an audible waver to his voice; Tully could probably tell him otherwise and he'd accept but it would hurt.

And Tully would never really hurt his sweet boy. “Shh, okay.” He started cleaning, first Juice's face and then his taut belly and groin. “This week. If it doesn't work out....” Tully didn't finish the sentence, knowing he didn't need to. Just adjusted his hands and pulled Juice onto his chest now that his boy's front was clean. Had to get the backside, and get his clothes on. Slow, of course. He couldn't startle his boy otherwise they'd have a long night ahead of him. Tully dragged his hands down Juice's spine, avoiding the spot that seemed to trigger the awful memories.

His boy sighed happily into his neck. “Didya mean it?”

A quiet hiss in his ear as Tully wiped between his cheeks. The washcloth had cooled considerably. “Mm?”

“Bein' yours. F'r the first time.” Juice brought his arms up to be able to wrap around Tully's neck, hugging him in the way he liked best to do so. “Again, I mean.” He yawned now, but his spine arched into Tully's touch. He could feel the goosebumps there.

Tully kissed him again. “I did. We should probably talk about it first.” They had a lot to talk about regarding their first time, and he knew Juice knew that. “C'mon, put your pants on then we can sleep.” The boy was drifting now that he was assured that Tully was going to follow through on his filthy promises. “There you go.” He encouraged as Juice wiggled to put the pjs on that Tully had let drop to the floor. “So typical.” Tully rumbled, teasing just a little bit more. “Falling asleep right after.” He himself was feeling content, letting the post-orgasm relaxation start to affect him.

“I w's horny all afternoon.” Juice murmured once he'd settled on Tully, chest to chest again. “After you promised. Thought you were gonna rub your hand on me at dinner. Made it worse, Papi.”

The boy practically purred as Tully kept petting him, loving the skin-on-skin touch as he'd forgone a shirt too. Tully liked feeling the muscles, the scars and the like that told his beloved's story. “I'll keep that in mind. Tease you more next time.” Another hum before Tully wrapped his arms around that broad back. “Go to sleep, baby boy. Big day tomorrow.” He'd get to meet Tully's family, and Tully would make a decision that would change both of them. “Love you.”

Juice was already asleep.

 


	2. Chapter 2

“Tully, your visitor's here.” It was Pearson again, but Tully wouldn't let the happiness he felt be dissipated for anything, not even her. Juice was wearing a big grin on his face, even if it was a little sleepy. They'd had breakfast before this, but his boy wasn't a morning person and since Tully wasn't dragging him outside afterward as was usual he'd decided on a little extra sleep. Juice curled up in bed to doze while Tully fidgeted excitedly. Not much though. He had to be up when Will came too; after all they were going to meet. Once Tully was done with his conversation, anyway. “Your brother's waiting.” The smile Pearson gave him was tight, but not actively hostile for the first time in a while. “Been a while?”

He stuck his wrists out for his usual cuffing, and then the door opened for him. “See you later.” Tully heard the sound of Juice shuffling and getting out of bed before the cell door slammed shut. He flicked a glance to Mickey, who gave him a nod. The room was all set up, Tully and Will would have all the privacy they needed for as long as they needed. He finally answered the guard. “Six or seven months.” Tully only counted time when it was necessary. With Juice, it was but with Will, the line was blurrier. “Mmm, his last letter said he was doing Burning Man, and before that was some kind of Rainbow Gathering thing in Florida or Georgia or somewhere like that.” Tully chuckled; his brother with the wandering heart.

“You're chatty, Tully.” Pearson was now smirking. “Sure you want to keep talking? I mean, all the information you're giving me.”

He looked down at her, mimicking her face. “It's all in my mail, which you read.” Tully wouldn't expose his brother to their investigations; he'd not said anything more than was in the letters. Besides, it would be a federal matter with how much his brother moved around. “Came down from Tacoma so that's new.” Now Tully let himself laugh, “Though I don't know what he was doing up there.”

“Let me know if you find out?” She shook her head knowing that he wasn't going to. Both of them trying to be polite; Tully wondered what had brought this on but not so much as to ask. _He_ was just in a good mood. “Juice doing good? Doctor Brikke said there was an incident in the showers yesterday morning.”

Probably at the unit briefing. “Your scheduling sucked.” He maybe was a bit too mouthy, but it could have gone much, much worse and they both knew it. It made Tully's heart ache to consider what the consequences could have been.

“We told the admin.” Tully must have gaped at her because she continued with a sigh. “Penny pinching at the office, decided to try and save water over maintaining facility security. Not just for Juice but for everyone.” Pearson shook her head. “It shouldn't happen next week.”

The shot-caller part of him spoke up first. “See that it doesn't.” Then he softened, seeing the visiting room doors ahead of them. “Now who's being chatty, mm?” A warning, because she was giving him a great deal of information that officially he couldn't have. “Thank you.” He said that even softer, because Tully would never live it down if anyone heard him.

Pearson didn't respond to that, just gestured for his hands once they were in front of what Tully assumed was the right door. There was no way she didn't know that the room had been bought, that there wasn't going to be any sort of record to this meeting. She was going along with it entirely too easily; something Tully would keep in the back of his mind for later analysis. Right now, she finally opened the door and he stepped in with quiet thanks. Will was there waiting for him, leaning back precariously on the chair with his hands behind his head. Tully took the moment to eyeball him, and he knew his brother was doing the same as the door shut behind the shot-caller.

Will's ubiquitous cowboy hat and aviator sunglasses were gone, tucked behind the counter in the waiting room leaving him exposed. He looked good, as usual, with his brown hair slightly sun-bleached and his dark eyes ringed lightly with eyeliner. The modern cowboy poet, Will spent a lot of time on the road and outside exposing the world to his work. Despite his mobile lifestyle he didn't look any older than Tully even though he was by a few years. “Tully.” The man growled before he broke into a grin. Not the grins that he gave others, a half-grimace or a sneer but a truly relaxed smile. The chair came down with a thump and Will stood.

Tully crossed the room at the same time Will did, and they pulled each other into a tight hug, pressing as close to one another as they could. There was no overly-masculine slamming of each others backs, just the squeeze of a hug between family. “You're looking good, Will.”

“You too, brotha.” That accent again, it felt like home even if Tully had never actually been to South Boston. They'd been born to different families, in different places for sure, but Will was his brother through and through. “Rea' good, actually. What's up?”

Tully gestured and they both took a seat. He considered dragging the chair over so it was closer but decided against it. Instead he stretched out, running his hands through his hair and lacing them at the back of his head. “Straight to the point, mm? No telling me what you were doing in Tacoma?” Tully laughed. “I can do that too. I found someone, I'm in love.”

“Checkin' outta business opportunity, ah dispensary in wait _what._ ” Will gawked at him, and Tully couldn't help but laugh harder. “Love with someone else, brotha?” He paused and narrowed his eyes. “Should I tell th' lawya you're gettin' stalking charges too?”

“Yes, with someone else and no. He's in love with me _back_.” Tully shook his head. “I'm wounded, Will. That you would think so very little of me.” Will was so dramatic. He'd never stalked anyone; Will knew that really he'd been entirely too shy to try that before the band, and after he hadn't needed to. Pussy and dick threw themselves at him. Even in prison they wanted him, as evidenced by the lonely hearts letters Tully wrote. “It's a long story.” He folded his hands in front of him, leaning on his elbows and letting himself smile thinking of Juice. “Started out with a business arrangement, and he was just the newest punk.”

Will sat listening to him as Tully told the whole story of how he and Juice met. What he'd done to the boy. How he'd come up to Tully and asked to finish his pie, but instead of killing him Tully decided on a different path. Daniel's attack, then Juice's beating and rape. The boy's return but with a head full of nightmares and flashbacks. Balancing his boy's needs with the gang. “Even with that all that,” he gave a little twisted smile, “I figured out I loved him. Then I told him. He loves me back, Will.” He knew it sounded a little surprised, but if he were deeply honest it really was a bit astonishing. Shocking that after all the garbage in their lives and that Tully personally had done to him Juice adored him. Tully let himself have the silly grin on his face, the one he hid from everyone. No one else was around, after all. Just the man who'd seen him at his very best and his very worst.

“Sounds like it could be Stockholm Syndrome, Tully.” Will had to be the reasonable one, of course. He was when Tully wasn't, which was why he'd needed to talk to him. “Or he's just keepin' himself alive.” Will tilted the chair back onto two legs again. “You're an old con, some cute thing wanted protection an' knew you'd give it because you're a big bleedin' haart on the inside.”

Tully scowled and shook his head. Will was pushing his buttons, calling him old and soft. Tully knew it, and still he couldn't help but rise to the bait. “I'm not old and it's not that. Were you even listening, Will?” He was about to get himself all worked up when he saw the smirk on the other man's face. “Smartass.” Tully growled and flipped Will the finger.

His brother laughed; it was his mission in life, it seemed to make Tully do that at least once a visit and so far he hadn't failed. “So, what's the problem? Yer guys don't seem to be it, they seem to like him Puerto Rican or not. You're sexually compatible, though did you tell him about yer weird shit?”

“What weird shit?”

“I dunno, the weird shit you haven't told me you're into?”

Tully rolled his eyes. “There's no weird shit I haven't told you about. You know about my weird shit.” Will was the _only_ one who knew about his weirdest shit. He really should ask his love if there was anything weird, now that he thought about it. Weirder than choking during sex. Tully could indulge in a lot of kinky stuff even in here, after all.

“So, I say again my deares' little brother, what's the problem?” Will let the chair down with a _thunk_ and leaned onto the table, putting his chin in his hands. He stared at Tully, waiting for it.

Tully let out a sigh, his hands clenching into fists now. “Someone fucking talked to Jeff. He wrote me, a few weeks ago. Said Juice was a distraction, and I needed to retire. Or...” Tully stopped as he squeezed his hands tighter. “Or get rid of him.”

A beat, then two, and once more Will leaned back and folded his arms. “So, how ya gettin' 'round yah boss? Need a hand?”

Tully frowned at him and then sighed. He really couldn't argue with the other man for assuming Tully had already made his decision. “Not that you're wrong but--”

Will interrupted him. “You've been talkin' about th' kid for,” he looked at the watch that Tully was certain he shouldn't have, “45 minutes. An' you got this stupid smile on yer face for the whole time, so obviously you ain't killin' him.” He fixed Tully with a pointed look, as if daring him to try and argue. When he didn't, Will continued. “Therefore. What do ya need, brotha?”

“How do I protect him?” He couldn't bring his voice up too high. Not that someone could hear, but just that the weight on his chest was pressing and it was hard to vocalize his fears. “If I'm not part of the AB, I can't keep him safe. Not that I've done a particularly spectacular job of it.” Entirely too much talking right now, but Tully knew that his brother wasn't going to make him feel weak for it.

Maybe not feel weak, but certainly stupid with the sound that Will made. Scoffing at him. “They said retirement, not 'Old Yella' right? Means a pension ya told me. They wouldn' be so rude as ta take thadaway.”

“I should hope not.” They wouldn't screw with Tully's money; it was the easiest way to get on his bad side. Even his bosses knew that.

“So ya can keep buyin' your favors an' whatever else you're spoilin' yer princess with.” Will grinned at Tully's dirty look. “An' it sounds like yer guys'll be okay if you step back, they won't do anythin' to you or the kid. 'Specially if he's smaht enough to keep bein' useful despite bein' not white. So just...retire, brother. Take th' time to handover right, and then let Jeff know you're gonna spend the rest of yer time fuckin' Juice's brains out.” He was smug, always was when he helped Tully out with a problem.

Tully finally leaned back, not realizing until just now how he'd hunched forward with tension. “Might take a week or two for the transition, but Mickey knows it's coming. And...he won't do anything. He likes Juice.” It had apparently taken a little more convincing for Tully to believe that his boy _would_ be safe even if he retired. He was glad he'd spoken to Will; he always was. “For Mickey's definition of like, anyway.” Tully took a deep breath in, and then out. “You wanna meet him? He wants to meet you.”

“Course I do, Tully.” Will rolled his eyes like it was the stupidest question he'd ever heard. “So bring your princess over here.”

Tully smirked and got up, banging on the door twice and then once more after a moment. A sour faced McManus opened it. “Can you please go get Juice?” He asked in the most sweet voice he could muster, patting his front pocket. He'd stashed the escort cash there in anticipation. And had specifically asked for the guard to come by; he and Pearson were still the only ones the young man really trusted.

McManus looked beyond him to Will, who waved cheerily and gave him that unsettling grin. The guard just shook his head and muttered something about telling the boy to bring lube.

Tully was fairly certain that he wasn't _actually_ going to but he had to make sure. “Ain't necessary,” he drawled just before McManus left entirely. “After all, can't have more than one inmate in a visiting room and I don't share.” Crap, Tully hadn't thought this entirely through. Once the guard left and the door closed, Tully turned to Will. “You can't scare him with your 'Boston Mob guy' act.” He fixed his brother with a look; he knew that's what Will would do. “He's--”

“Like ah jumpy chihuahua. I go' that with th' whole 'has PTSD' thing.” Will rolled his eyes. “I'll treat your princess wi' the care he deserves.”

It was sarcastic sounding, but Tully knew sincerity from Will didn't often sound as such. “So, what was that about this dispensary?” They could catch up now, really. Talk about their lives or rather Will's life because Tully's had been basically the same for the last two decades. Juice, of course, not withstanding. The important conversation had been had, now they could be a little more relaxed.

“Oh, yeah. Jus' a little investmen' inna legal business. Enough fer steady returns.” Will smirked. He'd heard Tully's rant that legalization had been rough on his pocket though he'd used it as impetus to get into other ventures. “You wan' in?”

Tully shrugged. “Felonies, remember?” Aside from having an address that included a prisoner number. Not that he'd be adverse but it was unlikely he could. “Though the boy said he was an investor in something similar at one point...” Another shrug. “MMJ, something like that. Publishers treating you better?” Last letter Will was getting fucked around with by some of his anthology publishers.

His brother huffed. “Let's just say I prefer workin' in trade to dealin' wi' those scum-suckin' sons of bitches. I'm at least getting' paid regularly now even if I had to compromise my ideals an' get a bank.”

“Something something Jewish conspiracy with the banks and the media.” Tully quipped dryly. Certainly _Will_ didn't follow his ideals but even he expected Tully to make some kind of noise about it. The only one who seemed to not these days was Juice; his boy just accepted whatever Tully said without asking for a Nazi performance at one point or another. “Sorry, my dear William, that even you are constrained by society somehow.”

“Though a debit card's kinda nice.” Will conceded and looked behind Tully, suddenly falling quiet.

“N-no carrying fat stacks o-of cash.” Juice was standing at the door rubbing his wrists where they'd been cuffed. “Hey.” He smiled seeing Tully, relaxing a little. His boy had wound himself up just a bit too much.

Tully stood as Juice stepped in. McManus wouldn't close the door while they were both in there at the same time but he also wouldn't comment or watch. Tully stood and swiftly moved to Juice, pulling him into a hug before moving behind him. Tully draped himself on his beloved, wrapping his arms over those solid shoulders. “Baby, Will Thompson. Will, this is Juice.” He placed a little kiss on Juice's temple.

Will snickered at the demonstration. “You big fuckin' cat.” Maybe it was a little claiming, but Tully wasn't going to stop. What Will couldn't see was Juice leaning into him comfortably, pressing into his chest. “Nice to meet you, Princess.”

The boy flushed but he was still smiling shyly so Tully didn't yet concern himself. “Heard a lot about you. Whatcha ride?” Apparently his own natural curiosity overrode his anxiety and the stuttering stopped. Of course, Tully being there, still pressed against him likely helped.

“Honda Interstate, 2014. 1300cc. You? When you're not gettin' spoiled rotten?”

“I work for it.” Juice smirked, not needing to say _how_ he worked for it _._ “Last bike I loved was a 1600cc Dyna Super Glide. Customized the shit out of it, it was great.” He had a wistful look on his face for a moment. “Hondas are easy t'work on, at least.” Juice twisted his head to Tully, planting his own light kiss on the man's cheek.

That was his cue, apparently and he unraveled himself from Juice. “Alright, I'm stepping out now that you two boys have done your dick-waving. I'll be...” Tully gestured, heart light that his beloved and his brother seemed to get along. “Come get me 'fore you fuck off again, Will.” He didn't give them much chance to argue with him, just strode out and shut the door behind him.

McManus rose an eyebrow and gestured for his hands. “Where to, Tully?” They couldn't exactly go far, but they couldn't hang around here either.

“Mm.” He hummed and started walking, expecting the guard to catch up. It would be a stroll around this section of the prison, while Tully considered all the things he had to do to be able to transfer his power to Mickey. His heart rattled in his chest with the thought, the acknowledgment that this was his course. Something powerful was going to have to knock him off of it, so powerful that Tully could think of nothing that would have the strength. Mickey knew most of the financial information for the Brotherhood, quite possibly more than Tully. But Tully had all the contacts, was the backup behind Mickey. He'd have to inform all of them that the transfer of power was happening. Individually, with care taken to each of them so they would accept it without any problems. Might as well make a list when he returned to the cell.

That would be the bulk of the work, really. A few negotiations, a formal parley with Luis so that he could inform his people. And do it all on the sly before the prison administration could lean on him to go through their “gang debriefing” process. To rat, basically. Tully snorted; like that was going to happen. He was just going to take the money on a monthly basis and spend time with his darling Juice. Maybe pick up an easy prison job to keep from going completely insane. Study for a degree. There really were many options for him, now that he had a moment to think about it. Running the gang took up a lot of time and energy and without it he had plenty of choices. “Tully this is the third lap we've made.”

He chuckled and looked to McManus. “Lead somewhere else then.” Tully still had thinking to do. He was curious, though. “How long's it been?”

“Ten minutes.” McManus tugged Tully so at least they could make a lap the other direction. “And the kid's fine, there's been no medical summons.”

Which Tully would have heard too and knew it; the chirps on the radio were distinct when there was a medical emergency. He kept the shiver that ran down his spine to a minimum, and it occurred to him as a distraction that the library wasn't far. “This way.” He started that direction with McManus following. If Tully was going to retire, he was going to need to make sure what he did get through official or unofficial means lasted throughout the rest of his very long incarceration. Tully gave a still-cuffed wave to Cornelius as he entered; polite, because he was on the old black's domain instead of the other way around. “Investing? Legit, like for retirement on the outside.” Maybe giving away too much, but neither Cornelius nor McManus would say anything.

“Second aisle from the door, Tully.” Cornelius didn't look up from whatever he was typing, clearly intent on it. “Third shelf from the bottom. Not much there, sorry.”

Tully's knees cracked as he squatted. McManus remained at the head of the aisle and let the shot-caller do his thing. Cornelius considered it rude for the guards to stalk the small library to see what inmates were looking at and the smart ones respected that. The good ones certainly did. Cornelius often helped them too after all. “Can't imagine it's a popular topic in here.” Tully pulled a volume out, the title of which boiled down to “So You Want To Retire?”. He'd have to get some cash to the librarian so he could expand the selection.

Tully slid it back when he was stopped. “Set it in th' basket, Tully?” Cornelius had gotten up and moved quieter than Tully thought possible. “Counts as use, helps us with state funding.”

The shot-caller nodded, pulling the book out again and standing. “Sorry.” He placed it in the basket that Cornelius indicated; it was artfully labeled “Please place books here to be re-shelved”. He was definitely going to have to give more money. Maybe lean on Luis to do the same, maybe not. Tully let a smirk cross his face. He could be a classic _patr_ _o_ _n_ in his old age.

“It's not a problem. Want me to bring some others from there next time I do rounds?” Cornelius was looking up at him, and then made a note of the book before he stuck it on the shelf where Tully had pulled it from.

“No, not this week. I'll let you know.” No need to give his plans away to Juice before they were set in motion. Tully started to make his way back to McManus. He finally noticed there were a couple of inmates studying, or at least trying to pretend they were. Tully knew he commanded people's attention no matter where he went. He considered a performance, but the guard was there and Cornelius honestly didn't deserve it.

In fact, Tully twisted and got into his pants pocket, pulling out a chit. They represented cash in the place of actual cash, and were written with inmate numbers so they could be pulled from the right account. He dropped some into the donation jar by the door not bothering to check the denomination. Power was the ability to do _that_. “Thank you. Oh, tell your cellie I got time for him tomorrow.”

Juice would be pleased. “Will do.” He rose his hands in a wave goodbye and started to wander back towards the visiting rooms. The door to the one Juice was in was still shut, so Tully and McManus made another lap. Just one though, because as they passed the door again there was a couple of bangs. Clearly the other two had had their fill of conversation.

“Damn, you're good.” Juice sat after McManus opened it, and Tully leaned against the wall once he stepped in. Juice was grinning big, turning from looking at Tully to looking at Will.

“I shoul' be. Doing this fo' tweny yeahs? I know mah brotha's footsteps like I know my own engine.” Will stood up, and gave Juice a gentle noogie to the top of his head. It was fond, and Juice almost pressed up into it before he grinned sheepishly and swatted Will's hand away. “So, little brother.” Will had ignored Juice's movement and stalked up into Tully's space, pressing on him. “I have t'tell you, something very important.” Now his brother was giving Tully the scary grin, his accent slurring even more and Tully had to straighten and draw himself up. Maintain eye contact with his brother and look down at him at the same time. “If you, Ronald Seymour Tully, daare break th's boy's haart I'll come back 'ere to _personally_ break yer kneecaps.”

Wait, what? Was Will giving _him_ the shovel speech? What in the world conversation had happened here? Tully opened his mouth, and closed it, and then looked behind the other man to Juice. His boy was shaking with silent laughter, and Tully would have to admit it was pretty funny if he thought about how it looked. He turned his attention back to his brother, who had stepped out of his space and folded his arms. Daring Tully to say something. “There's a story here.” He did, dry as before. “Which I'll find out later tonight, I should think.” Tully smiled past Will to Juice again, silently promising to wring the truth out of him as he moaned in pleasure. That the boy stopped giggling and blushed deeply told Tully that he'd gotten the message loud and clear. “And as for you, _brother_ I'll keep that in mind.” The shot-caller had no doubt that Will would follow through, though he honestly didn't have to worry. Tully crooked his finger at Juice, getting the boy to come out of his seat for an escort back to their cell. “Anything else?” As the boy passed him Tully caught his hand and squeezed it. They were alright. He let go and McManus closed the door behind him, leaving Tully and Will in the visiting room alone. “I'm never going to hear the end of it now, smartass.”

Will grinned at him and moved to sit back down. “He would have found out eventually.” Tully huffed and sat back down himself. “So. He's acceptable.” Will smirked. “To quit yer day job fer.” At Tully's flat look, Will held his hands up. “I jus' wanned ta make certain, brotha. I might've had to convince ya otherwise.”

He only did it because he cared for Tully, and Tully knew it. “I'm glad you approve.” He took a breath in, “I've got a plan now, brother,” and then let it out slowly. “Never considered it, but look at me now.” Tully shook his head and gave a laugh. “Retirement.”

“Brotha, I'm proud o' ya.” Will had a serious look on his face, though the line in the middle of his forehead didn't appear like it might have in other circumstances. He wasn't unhappy, obviously. “Jus' in case ya didn' know. You're gettin' too old for this shit.” Tully knew Will worried about his safety. More now than he had in the past. It was a function of Will getting older too, the shot-caller supposed. To be fair the longer he spent at the top meant that more people were going to come after him. Meant more people thinking he was weak. He wasn't, and he was taking himself out of the line of fire now.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Tully gestured with one hand. “I'll make sure to write you when it's all gone through. No wedding bells yet.” Of course Tully didn't realize what he'd said until after he'd said it. Only Will's smirk clued him in. “That's not even legal.”

“Sure? Someone hasn't been following the news. As long as I'm your best man.” Will laughed but Tully wasn't sure he was just joking around. Casually Will dug a card out of his wallet and tossed it across the table. “New P.O. Box. I'll even check more often than twice a year. Stupid fucking banks.”

Tully chuckled and tucked it into his shirt pocket. He stood, and once more Will came to him to hug him tightly. “I love you, brother. Ride safe.” That was what worried Tully. It was so easy for a biker to get plastered on the side of the road. Or the front of a semi. Will spent so much time alone too, he was easy pickings for someone who wished to do him harm. “I'll let you know what happens.”

“I will. An' you bettah, brotha.” They remained together for a long moment, both needing the contact from one of the few people they called family. Finally Will let go. “Kneecaps, remembah that.” He laughed and turned, knocking on the door to be let out.

“Mm. Good luck in Tacoma.” Tully watched his brother go before he himself knocked to return to his cell. Pearson opened the door and Tully held out his wrists to be cuffed again. He hummed softly, tunelessly as they walked. Seeing Will always put him in a good mood.

“Went well, then?” Idle conversation again. Tully was okay with that; he honestly still liked Pearson even if she'd been on the rag. Or whatever had been her problem. “Good seeing family. Haven't seen some of my extended relatives in years.”

“I'm sorry. Will's really...the last of mine who I want to see.” Tully shrugged. Or who wanted to see him. It worked either direction. “But he comes so infrequently,” he chuckled quietly down at her, “that I'm pretty much stuck calling all my knuckleheads here my family.”

“What does that mean for us guards? I'd say we're the racist great aunt you hate to see but...”

Tully really laughed at that. “When I figure it out, I'll tell you.” They turned down the corridor of their cell block. As it was only an hour or so before lunch the cells there were only half full. More would trickle in as it got closer to mealtime and the men returned from their jobs and classes. Tully and Pearson stopped in front of his cell and the shot-caller spotted Juice, sitting on his own bunk with his face buried in a book. The boy's ears were red and Tully could see the corners of his mouth twitching up. Holding back a grin, clearly. He stepped in once his cuffs were undone. “Thank you, Pearson.” Tully nodded and once she strode away he turned his focus on Juice. His boy was now trying to hold back giggles. “Get it out of your system.” Tully rolled his eyes and huffed. “C'mon.” He sat at the desk backwards to watch Juice.

“S-seymour?” The boy almost whispered and then a snort escaped him. “Your m-middle name is _Seymour_?”

“Yes _Juan Carlos.”_ But even the use of his own given name didn't phase Juice, and he cracked up again. Tully set his elbows on the back of the chair, setting his chin in his hands. He could just watch Juice _laugh_ even if it was at him. Juice just looked so happy in that moment, it was captivating. Tully had to adjust his hands again, hiding his own smile behind them. It had to look like he was just enduring. Tolerating what Juice was doing.

To his credit, Juice was trying very hard to keep it to himself. Not bring the rest of the cell block over to ask questions. “S-sorry.” Juice quietly gasped out. “Jus' so... n-not you. Doesn't fit. It sh-should be on some tiny little nerd.” His boy was now working to catch his breath, and he squeezed his eyes tight. “Ow. Ch-chest. Ribs still broken. Deserved that, didn't I?”

Tully shook his head and got out of the chair now to go sit next to Juice. “Well, maybe a bit baby boy. Laughing so hard at your Papi.” He rested a hand on Juice's back. “Slow down, love. Deep in and out.”

Juice did as he was told, leaning into Tully's touch now. “Thanks.” He spoke once he could breathe again. “I'm sorry, wasn' really all that funny.” He moved just enough to be able to kiss Tully's cheek before he settled down once more.

“You're alright. He did it to annoy me more than anything.” Tully returned the kiss and went back to just gently holding the other man.

Juice picked up the book he'd been reading, clearly intent on working instead of teasing Tully. “Yeah. I got a sister, I know what sibs are like. Not that I've talked to her in a long time. Years, not since before I moved to Cali.”

“I'm sorry.” That Juice didn't talk to his biological family. The concept thereof was important to his boy, so Tully figured it extended to blood relatives.

Juice shrugged as he counted something on his fingers. It looked odd, though, the way he was doing it. “Had th' guys. Chosen family, like you said.” His boy was distracted as he spoke, still counting. “Binary.” The boy answered apparently seeing Tully's confusion out of the corner of his eye. “Got mentioned in here, tryin' to remember how to do it. Oof!”

Tully chuckled and squeezed Juice in a rougher hug than before. “I love you.”

“Love you too.” The boy smiled up at him. “An' your brother was cool. We just talked 'bout bikes. An' you.” Juice shrugged again. “Made sure I wasn' some, you know, tart after your riches. His words.” That grin crossed Juice's face. “We're cool, Papi. He an' I. Gave me his address, in case I needed to write.” Wiggling Juice pulled it out of his pants pocket, the same card that Tully had in his shirt.

A lump formed in Tully's throat. His brother for sure approved. If he wasn't certain before, he was now. “Good. Just don't tell him all of my secrets.” Tully kissed him again, first on the nose and then on the lips just so Juice could feel his own approval that they got along.

“I didn't think you had any from him. He gave me that impression anyway.” Juice murmured after he returned the kisses, and then got up to set the card next to his books. “Lunchtime yet? 'M hungry.”

Tully couldn't help but watch Juice stretching. Seemed like the boy was giving Tully an eyeful on purpose anyway. That was, after all, an excellent view and Juice worked hard on bringing his six pack back now that he could exercise more. “Just about.” Tully stood now too, shooing Juice away from the toilet so he could use it. Juice turned to lean on the cell bars, bending over slightly just to give Tully something to look at. His eyes raked over that perfect ass he'd fingered the night before; it made the shot-caller grin. His pants even hung down a bit, just enough to show off a small portion of that muscular back. His boy was such a tease when he felt good, and confident. Or maybe it was just for Tully, because he couldn't imagine Juice doing this for anyone outside. Not even the Scot.

He finished up and washed his hands, finding that he was staring too much. “I'm such a queer.” Tully muttered as he wrapped his arms around Juice and rested his head on the boy's. Seeing what Juice was looking at, obviously and not just cuddling him.

“If we agree with things you say, boss, are we gonna get in trouble?” Nuke grinned from his own cell, watching them. “Cuz, uh...”

“Shut the fuck up, Nuke.” Tully rolled his eyes and came away from Juice.

“Right, boss. Hey, so I did some asking around.” Tully just had to stare at him, because apparently _shut the fuck up_ meant nothing to his muscle. The stare meant nothing either and Nuke continued. “No one's heard of anything about the Chinese organizing the shower fuckup, or the Blacks for that matter.”

It sounded like it had been an honest mistake, or as Pearson had said, an administrative edict gone wrong. “Keep on it anyway, brother.” There wasn't really such a thing as being too paranoid, especially now that Tully was going to make his own moves and put Mickey in charge. It needed to be smooth, from the outside, otherwise their enemies would see the weakness. Keeping them aware that Tully was aware of them would do a lot to keep scrutiny to a minimum. Tully reached from where he'd moved to stand next to Juice, gently playing with his boy's scalp. He'd get Nuke to watch him during yard time after lunch so he could talk to Mickey in private about the transition. Make sure the other man was willing to take on the role. Not that Juice couldn't take care of himself, but they both felt better if there was one of the heavies around him.

The doors opened for them to go to lunch. Tully let Juice step in front of him as always, and followed the boy out. The rest of the men circled around the shot-caller, and though Tully wanted to grab Juice's hand to hold it he managed to ignore the urge. Not too much longer, and then he could do whatever struck him because he wouldn't have the gang's reputation to maintain. Or at least he'd have less of it weighing on him.

Once they were all settled, and eating their pathetic excuse for a chef salad that was lunch, Nuke started talking again. “So how was Will, boss?”

“Good. Came from Tacoma.” They knew asking Tully to get his brother to do favors for them was futile, so they never did anymore. It had been difficult at first to get them to understand that just because Will could move around, and was Tully's family, didn't mean he was going to help the AB out. So now they just asked about him like he was a normal person, not involved in anything or anyone illegal. “When were you lot going to tell me we could invest in weed?” Tully laughed; they'd tried for years after all. It told his gang what Will was up to, anyway, without him explicitly saying so. “He met Juice.” Tully said casually before he stuffed a cracker into his mouth.

The boy blushed to the congratulations. “How'd you like him?” Nuke and Mickey had been around long enough, they'd met Will and been through his vetting process. Nuke was the one who spoke. “He's a character, huh? Though you musta gotten along with your same hobbies and all. Yanno, motorcycles and riding. And the boss.” More laughter.

“He's really cool.” Juice had that shy smile as he munched on his own cracker. “Just talked about bikes.” He wasn't going to tell about the rest of it to them. “He's heading through Yellowstone after he does the thing in Tacoma. Jealous, I ain't ever been. Any o' you guys?” He changed the subject off of himself, but the men didn't seem to mind.

It was a pretty uneventful lunch. They talked about places they'd been or wanted to go. Tully stayed quiet. He'd moved plenty in his youth but he'd never been able to appreciate the times that he'd settled. The thought floated through him that maybe, just maybe, he'd be able to go to those places with Juice in his lifetime. Once he got off of parole. Though Tully hadn't even sent the letter about that to his lawyer yet. No matter, there were other things to take care of first. “Mickey, need to talk to you. Outside. When we're done.” His second nodded and handed off the almond cookie to Juice.

“Thanks.” Juice stared at Tully for a moment but when the man didn't respond he restarted his conversation. “So yeah. Th' other coast's got it's perks, Nuke c'n back me up on this.” Back to chatter until they were all done. Which of course didn't take long because all of them save Juice started whining about the rabbit food that they were being served. And even then, he finally shoved away what he couldn't eat. “Thank god f'r peanut butter and pop tarts.”

“No shit.” They fell into their usual places as they returned their trays, still griping. “Men can't live off of lettuce alone.” Nuke twisted to look at Juice, and then Tully before he turned back.

It took a minute for all of them to bunch up again, and with a quick look around Tully wrapped his arm around Juice to pull him close and press a peck to his temple. “Baby, stay with Nuke and Froggy this afternoon. Take it easy, though. I mean it.” The shot-caller released Juice as they passed into the yard, but made sure the boy stayed close. “I won't be long.”

His beloved pressed against him when he was held but then shifted away when he was not. “I kinda figured.” Juice gave a little stretch and a blink against the light before he turned to follow the muscle to the benches. He smiled that smile, the brilliant one, at Tully so that the older man knew for certain that the boy loved him. Only a pity that he hadn't actually said anything, but really it was better. Juice could catch up with the men before they got too far and Tully didn't look totally weak.

“Parting is such sweet sorrow, eh boss?” Mickey chuckled and started down the lane that circled the yard. As long as you kept moving, it was a safe place to talk. People wouldn't listen. They made it half a lap, so that they were far from the door before Mickey spoke again. “Tully?”

The shot-caller folded his hands behind his back and scanned the field. In a moment, he'd start the process of giving all of this up. It was bittersweet and he had to compose himself. “I'm taking it. Retirement.” He looked down to Mickey, and then around again. “I want you to take my place, brother.” There. It seemed so anticlimactic this way, just a simple request to his second in command.

Mickey didn't respond immediately, and that was fine with Tully. It was a big decision that required consideration, though some part of the shot-caller reminded himself that he lacked a second option. They rounded the corner before Mickey spoke again. “Doing this for Pit?”

“I'm not going to bullshit you and say no.” Tully huffed as his eyes scanned and found the tattooed scalp even across the yard. “Because yes, I am.”

“Sure he's worth it? Giving this up?” Now a pause and Mickey nodded in understanding. “That's why you went to talk to Will. Making sure of it.”

Tully hummed in affirmation. “He's worth it. I could say, Mickey, that I'm not going to be one of those idiots. The one who doesn't bow out gracefully from this life when they get too old, and then panics and makes mistakes when they realize they can't leave. It's a good time to get out while I have the chance.” Now Tully brought his hands to his front, lacing them together. “But it wouldn't be true. I'm doing it for him.”

Now Mickey shook his head. “Man, I should have taken Nuke up on that bet when Pit first came here. Knew you'd fall for him. I'd have won 50 bucks.” Tully stared at him, and the other man finally laughed. “Like I said before, boss. You had it bad.” Now Mickey held up his hand because Tully had been about to start sputtering. It would have been nice to know that they knew and had been betting on it, the fuckers. “You have any plans after, if I take over?”

A shrug. “Juice.” They both snorted at that. “Nothing serious. Be around for advice but...Jeff promised a pension; I'll take that and just do the rest of my time.” They turned the bend again, at the far end of the track now and passed a guard. Tully nodded politely but said nothing until they were well away. “I'll find projects, I always do.” He wasn't going to bring up the letter to his lawyer. Not when there might not be anything to it. Tully could still keep a few things close to his chest.

“And when the boy leaves?” Assuming he would and there was always the chance that he might not survive his stay on top of that. It was just being realistic to think about it, even if it made Tully's heart hurt. “You won't have him or your power. It's only been a few months with him, Tully.”

The shot-caller clenched his jaw and glared. “Are you saying no?” He couldn't help his stiffness and he could feel the eyes of the guard behind him as the tension drew his gaze ready for trouble.

Mickey held his hands up. “I'm not, boss. Just making sure you're going into this with eyes wide open.”

Tully made himself relax. “I've been considering it for weeks, remember?” He paused and then shifted to old fashioned barter. It wasn't desperation, he told himself. Just the next step. “I know you've got projects, Mickey. I'll support them.”

“Course you will, boss, because you like me.” Mickey's grin was a fox's grin, Tully realized. Sly and quick in his personal predatory way. He was going to make a very interesting shot-caller, if he accepted. “But don' beg, Tully, it doesn't become you.” He clapped the taller man on the back, friendly even for it's roughness. “Of course I'll take over for you, so you can marry your spic housewife. I'm practically doing the job already.” The latter was more growled than anything and Mickey seemed ready to lapse into his usual silence.

Tully though needed to speak, needed to put together a time line and he opened his mouth to do so. He was interrupted by the scream of the fight alarms blaring across the yard. “ _Shit, Nuke!”_ Mickey's curse made Tully whip around to look at the weight area, hazel eyes searching immediately for his lover. He couldn't see him, but he could see the knot of men, yellow and white with brown and black coming in for support. Flying blood and fists and weapons improvised and planned for. He couldn't see Juice. Where was Juice, where was Juice _where was Juice_

He almost took off towards the chaos but Mickey grabbed his wrist painfully tight. “Riot control, Tully!” Now the older man could see the pops in the dust around the fighters; rubber bullets that might switch to live ammo if it kept going and still he couldn't find Juice--

A flash of light brown, tattooed head at one of the doors and Tully's chest loosened. His boy, his smart boy had taken cover inside. They'd meet at their cell, once it was safe. Mickey yanked him down as a chunk of dirt flew up near them now; they were being shot at for noncompliance. “You _are_ distracted, gettin' us fuckin' shot at you goddamned queer.” Tully ignored the slurs as he dropped down to his belly and put his hands over his head. Terribly vulnerable, but it was the only way they wouldn't get fired on. He did keep trying to twist and find out what was going on as the fighting continued, but ultimately he had to surrender and hold still until there was nothing but silence across the yard. Riots like this always made the hair on the back of Tully's neck rise because of that silence. The outside was supposed to be full of noise, and there wasn't any.

Only for a moment though, then the groans of the wounded started up and there was sound again. “You hit, boss?” Mickey spoke quietly again.

“No. You?”

“No.” A pause. “Sorry,” about the swearing, clearly, “I saw Nuke take a weight plate to the back from some Chink.”

“Damn.” What in the hell had caused it? Was it just continued reprisal for taking the heroin trade? They would have gone after Tully if it was. It had to be something else. He tried to raise his head but a bark behind him made him set it down.

They'd brought out the dogs. “Keep your hands where we can see them. If you move, you _will_ be detained by force.” More barking and out of the corner of his eye he could see more handlers and animals heading towards where the main riot had been.

He held still until he felt a pair of legs step over him and a rough set of hands cuff him before hauling him up. The guard Smith looked into Tully's eyes for a moment before he gestured. “Let's go.” Another guard had done the same to Mickey and they were both frog-marched into the building. Conveniently, or maybe because Smith was doing them a favor the entrance they went to was the closest one to the pile of cuffed and wounded men. Tully looked as best and as quickly as he could; Froggy was cuffed, a couple of the new guys were cuffed and wounded and Nuke was in the middle, currently being attended to by a host of paramedics.

They pressed on before Tully could see the full extent damage, but it made him sick to his stomach. Too many of the EMTs meant Nuke was going to the hospital. Which meant there was a chance he wasn't coming back. And there were so many of his men that were going to be out of commission. For a shorter period of time, but still unable to fight. “ _Shit._ ” He swore and would have probably hit something if he hadn't been cuffed. Tully felt helpless; he needed information and Juice. “ _Fuck.”_ This wasn't helping, and he could feel the tension on the two guards so he took a breath, swallowing down his frustration and anger. “Cell?”

“Briefly. Make sure your cellie knows where you are. Then a chat.” Thank god for small favors, even if it meant an interrogation afterward.

Juice was sitting on his bunk, eyes squeezed tightly shut as he shivered. Pearson was standing there on the outside of the door as well, talking in a low smooth voice. “And you've got the blanket around you. Is it yours, or Tully's?”

“M-mine. It's Tully's pillow though. In my left hand.” Grounding. His boy fighting to stay here because even if he hadn't been part of the fight, he must have seen things that reminded him of his own attack. “He d-doesn't like it when I d-d-defluff it though.” Another shudder and Juice took a deep breath.

“I'll fix it when I get back, beautiful.” Tully's voice was also low, and he vaguely heard Mickey get put into his own cell. He was zoned in on Juice, who startled and opened his eyes when he spoke. “Get my blanket if you're cold.” Pearson stepped back a bit to let him lean closer to the doors. Tully locked eyes with Juice, looking into those deep brown ones. Terror, more than he was showing to Pearson shone in them and all Tully wanted to do was go inside and hold him. “Hurt?”

Juice shook his head and swallowed. “No. H-Hap-Happy s-shoved me inside 'fore th' fighting really st-started.”

Happy? The MC's man? Well that was another thing to unravel. Not this second, though it made more sense as to why Juice was having such a difficult time. “I'm glad you're not hurt, beautiful.” Tully sighed. “I'll be back in a little bit. Have to go have a talk with the admin.” He gave Juice a small sneer, and his heart skipped a beat when Juice returned it with a smile. “I promise I'll be back, though. Before dinner, I imagine.” _Do whatever you need to until then. I love you,_ he hoped his eyes said as he was tugged away from his cell. Pearson remained there, and took his place when he left going back to talking quietly as she had been.

“You really shouldn't promise things like that.” Smith kept his tone low and waited until they were away from the cells.

“I will be back.” Tully twisted to look at him, failing to keep the ugly look off of his face. If that was a threat, the man was going to regret it.

To his credit Smith kept his own face pleasantly neutral. “I meant the timing of it. May be after dinner. Or tomorrow.”

Tully considered arguing. That he didn't have any information, that Smith himself had picked him up well away from the epicenter of the fight and he clearly hadn't known about it in advance otherwise he would have kept Juice in his cell. But doing that wasn't going to help him now, so he kept his mouth shut about it. They didn't speak further, as Smith escorted Tully to one of the interrogation rooms. “Should really put my name on one of these, 'm here so often.” Tully let his drawl slip as he steeled his features into arrogant disinterest. It really wasn't hard. He really was better than them, after all. He had nothing to give up as well; this was just part of the routine.

He set his hands on the table and let them chain him to it. Tully really wasn't doing dignity today. Even if he was just following protocol and not doing so would end up with more embarrassing consequences it still wasn't exactly a good feeling to be treated like a common prisoner. He glanced at the two-way mirror and the camera up in the corner. Recording, no doubt, and no doubt people were watching. Give 'em the show they wanted, and then go back to soothe Juice.

At least he wasn't interrogated by any normal guard. The other door opened and the assistant warden entered looking hard at him. “What the hell happened out there, Tully? Been quiet, and all of a sudden I've got six wounded, three severely, one dead and your lot was right in the middle.”

One dead. He hoped deep in his heart that it wasn't Nuke but all the medics he'd seen didn't give him much to hope for. Of course Tully gave no indication he was thinking this; that he was worrying. He just shrugged his shoulders and slightly played with the chain to make it rattle. “ _We_ were attacked. That's all I saw.” Which was the truth; he hadn't seen who or what had started it.

“Don't bullshit me, Tully. You know who has what beef with you and why.” The assistant warden leaned on the table, hands flat to it. Trying to be intimidating.

Tully stared at him. The administration was stupid, to put it mildly. If they didn't know, Tully wasn't going to tell them. Not that he'd ever rat, but it didn't take a high IQ to figure out it was the Triads and them needing to hear it from him was insulting to everyone involved. The Chinese were probably still upset about the heroin. It might have been something else. Something Nuke said, maybe? He'd been targeted. Some insult or insinuation he'd made, no doubt. Nuke had a problem running his mouth. “I didn't see anything.” Still not untrue.

“Would some time in the hole remind you? Or maybe your cellie needs to spend some time in another block.” The assistant warden was going straight for the nuclear option. His job must be in jeopardy over this small riot.

Tully's rage flared all the same, even if he kept his outward cool. They wouldn't dare, but in case he had to give them something. Carefully. “It was our week to use the benches, but the wetbacks were using the basketball courts. The orientals were closer than the niggers, so if I had to guess who attacked it was them first.” Tully kept staring hard, ice in his voice now instead of his accent. If they were smart, they'd verify with camera evidence what he was saying. He'd give Mickey a heads up of what he said.

The two were in a stare-down for a long moment. He could believe Tully, or not. It was up to him but if he didn't it meant punishment and Tully couldn't afford the time away. Finally, though, the assistant warden huffed in annoyance and leaned back. “Fine. You and yours get to stay in lockdown until the investigation's over and don't think I'm not going to talk to everyone with a clover, Tully.”

He rattled the chain again. “Long as you're not just accusing us good white folk. Hate to hear you got checked into for discrimination. Again.” Tully had, in years past, filed such suits against the administration. It really was just to waste their time but in that it was effective. Just one of the many reasons the white collars at the top treated him so poorly when they crossed paths. “Tell ya what, I'll let you know if I find out anything relevant. Doubt I will though. No one tells me nothing.” Tully smirked across the table; no one told him anything because he was the one to do the telling. They both knew that, too.

The sound that the warden made was a mix of a choke and a sputter, both of indignation. He stood and looked to the mirror. “Take him back to his cell.” The man left with the slam of a door. Tully leaned back and waited, thinking. He hadn't gotten a proper accounting of who was missing or injured beyond Nuke, just a quick glance. He'd do that on his way back.

Smith entered the room and undid the chain in a reverse of what they'd done previously. Tully didn't consider saying anything until they were well away from that cold interrogation room. When they were he realized it was unlikely that Smith was going to give him anything useful. They were polite with each other, but the only human link between them was Juice's PTSD. He was still a guard first. So Tully remained quiet, planning. Depending on his losses, he might have to lean on Luis. Get a few AB to transfer from other California prisons, if it was really bad. Think about retaliation because this couldn't go unanswered especially if Nuke was dead.

He needed information before he could respond. But that was going to be difficult as long as they were still on lock down. Information could still move, it would just be slower. Finally they entered the block and Tully glanced into each of the cells. Doing the head count he'd missed doing before. Miraculously, everyone was there though many were nursing minor injuries. Out of immediate action but they would be alright soon. Only Nuke and his injuries were in question.

Tully, and Mickey with his own guard passed each other. They must have called for him soon after Tully left so there wasn't any chance they could communicate.

Not like it mattered. With just a look Mickey could tell what Tully had said, or not. They'd been working together long enough to be able to read each other easily. They held the gaze as long as they could, Mickey silently telling him that Juice had held steady. Not gotten better, but not degraded either. Tully telling him to get as much information as he could while he was out. “Thank you.” Tully murmured as he stepped into his and Juice's cell, turning to get uncuffed. It sounded like he was talking to Smith, but really it was for Mickey. For watching over the boy whenever Pearson had had to leave. Juice still had his blanket over his shoulders, but he was hunched over his legal pad writing what looked to be alien language to Tully. Probably computer stuff. “Baby.” He spoke quietly so as not to make Juice jump.

It didn't work. Juice still startled and looked up with a quiet gasp. He let out the breath slowly. “Hi.” The boy set the pad aside and stood. The blanket dropped to the floor but Juice didn't seem to care as he pressed against Tully. He didn't care about that or the potential audience they had, either.

For a moment Tully was taken back; Juice so rarely initiated this kind of affection. But it was only a moment and he wrapped his arms tight around his lover. “I'm here, baby. It's okay.”

A full-body shudder went through Juice, matching the thudding heart under Tully's hands. “Was so worried.”

“I know.” Tully rubbed his back light and gentle, over the shirt that was a bit damp with his sweat. No matter how short it had been he'd still been gone too long for his boy to cope. It ached to know that he'd suffered. “I'm okay. They just asked me what I saw.”

Juice nodded. He knew what was a rational chain of events, but Tully understood Juice couldn't always think rationally. Especially about people he loved. Arguably who could? Tully kissed his head, and a tugging at his middle made him go still. Juice pulled his prison shirt up out of his pants, and then the tank top beneath that. “Mm.” The shot-caller hummed softly as he unwrapped his hands from his beloved to set them atop his head. It was an unusual ritual certainly but at the same time Tully understood it. It was in the nature of outlaws to hide injury and weakness and Juice needed to know for himself that Tully was whole.

His boy's hands were a shade too warm even as he'd shivered on the bunk. They rested on Tully's chest for a moment before he brought them up. At first he just scanned the surface of his skin, and then pressed a bit to see if Tully had any broken ribs. Tully twitched; his sides were ticklish. “Sorry.” Juice whispered but his hands didn't still. They wrapped around him to his back now, clearly looking for tender spots. “Love you.” Juice's voice still didn't raise, as he nuzzled Tully's chest. The contact was electric, of course but it wasn't the time for that. “I'm sorry.” Juice dropped his hands, but brought them around Tully again. Outside of his shirt, this time.

The shot-caller pulled him back into a hug. “Nothing to be sorry for, beautiful.” Tully squeezed him. “Rough afternoon.” That was an understatement, but as long as it made Juice laugh at least a little.

Which it did, a quiet huff that Tully rewarded with a kiss. “That's better. I like that smile, baby boy.” They stood together for a moment before the he released Juice. “Want to sit? We're stuck here for the foreseeable future.”

Juice just nodded and found one of Tully's hands, tugging him along the few steps to the bunk. He sighed as he tucked himself against the other man's side. “Do you want to talk about it?” Tully started to stroke what skin he could, slipping his fingers under Juice's shirt. He did need information, and the boy had had a front row seat. But if Juice wasn't ready Tully wasn't going to be able to bring himself to push.

“I was talkin' to Froggy,” he looked sheepish as he spoke, “and watchin' you talk to Mickey.” Juice once more brought his arm across Tully's lap to hug him tight. “Someone called for Nuke, and then Thierry pushed me towards the door before he jumped in. I heard hitting, when I turned to look there were three Chinese guys on top of Nuke. One had a weight. Was 'bout to go help him and Froggy but,” and now Juice stopped talking. He shuddered again before he sighed. “But Happy grabbed me. Threw me into the door. Through the door! Through the door.” He'd shot up to sit straight. Juice's eyes were wide enough that Tully gathered he'd gotten a mean look on his face. Mean or murderous. Same thing, really. “Th-think he started helping Luis. I dunno, I didn't exactly look.” There was a welcome weight back on his chest and Juice's fingers tangled in Tully's shirt, playing with the hem before he reached for Tully's fingers. He laughed. “Be honest, I was so surprised I forgot to be scared 'til I got in here.”

“I think that's a good thing, baby boy.” He was pretty sure it was, in fact. Or it wasn't at all, but Tully wasn't going to bring that up as an idea. He tangled his hand with Juice's and the boy settled again. “But it was the Chinese? Who started it?”

Juice nodded. “Weird they didn't go after you.” A pause. “Maybe not, I guess. Take out the muscle, be easier to get to the shot-caller.” Now Juice looked pensive. Lost in thought for a long moment. “Never worked outside, why would it work here though? You're too well protected. You could call, I bet and get a bunch of guys here quick.”

It was honestly interesting to see Juice think like a boss might. Or at least an outlaw. Tully smugly reminded himself that Chibs had no idea what he'd lost in the boy, as far as that was concerned. “Mmhm.” Tully gestured with his free hand for him to keep going before he returned it to keep petting.

“Goin' after me's a weak point, but that seems to just annoy you.” Juice now grinned; giving an understatement of his own. “Not good for them. Might just be a statement.”

Tully now shook his head. “Generally do much less of that here. It's risky. Making a violent statement is for people,” he considered how to explain it, “in an open system.”

“With a chance to escape if something goes wrong.”

“Exactly.” Tully kissed him. Smart man. Making statements, getting other people to make them for you; those were considered suicide missions because if the authorities didn't get you, the other gangs would. And convicts, they had nothing but time on their hands to think of how to do that.

Juice continued, snuggling up more as he did so. “So they weren't making a statement. Just...leaves punishment. But if it wasn't you...” The little line between Juice's eyebrows appeared as the gears clearly turned and he started heading towards the conclusion Tully had before. “It was at least three on one.” He swallowed and looked down now frowning. “They had every intention on killing him.” It remained unspoken that they might have succeeded. “He couldn't have said anything that bad, could he? Not that he--” Juice didn't seem to want to offend Nuke. Or Tully, for that matter, or anyone who was listening.

“He very well could have.” Tully wasn't going to step lightly, like Juice was. Nuke had a mouth on him, the possibility was there that they'd taken lethal offense to whatever he said. It was simply the truth, and now Tully had to react. “Probably asking about what happened in the shower.” Before Juice could even look upset, he squeezed. “Don't. It's not your fault. I told him to, remember?”

His boy didn't answer this time, just pressed closer to Tully. It was clear that he didn't believe what Tully was saying at that moment; perhaps just too much trauma for one day. Tully traced a heart on Juice's back before cuddling him just the way he wanted. There wasn't any blame to be thrown around, really. He wasn't even doing so to Nuke; the man could no more help himself being acerbic to others than Juice could being afraid of them. If it came down to it, it was on Tully for putting Nuke in charge of that when more delicacy had been warranted. The shot-caller wondered how much fault finding had been done in the Club; if something had gone wrong did they always need to have a scapegoat? And how often had Juice been blamed rightly or wrongly? “I-I didn't see exactly who it started it. Which chink. Just that they were on top of him. Figured that means they did.” Juice mumbled as Tully drew another heart. He'd forgotten he'd asked the question.

“'E asked three of them if they 'ad, uh, arranged th' shower schedules so they could fuck their _nègres”_ Thierry's accent was more pronounced with pain. But Tully didn't need a translation for the French; he could understand just fine what Nuke had said.

Damn. Punishment, then. Running his mouth, just like Tully had thought. “Sit down, Froggy. 'Fore you hurt yourself more.”

“Stupid to do it in the middle of the yard.” Juice mumbled. Nuke might still live; if they'd done it when they were alone with him the job would have been complete.

“Doubt they meant to, Pit.” The slamming of a cell door made Juice jump but he relaxed when he realized it was just Mickey returning from his interrogation. McManus was the one speaking, though, stepping up to their cell door. “Rumor has it they made other arrangements.” The machine shop kind of arrangements, which thankfully the guard didn't say aloud. “But the opportunity arose and they took it.” He sighed, and then looked at Juice still curled up on Tully's chest. “Ortiz, you're up next.” McManus flicked his gaze towards Tully, honestly looking apologetic.

Juice pressed on his love and Tully squeezed him. “Tell 'em what you told me. I trust you.” He murmured softly into the boy's skin before he let Juice get up onto his shaky legs. It wouldn't contradict what Tully or Mickey had said, at any rate. Tully watched as Juice was cuffed and led away, trying to keep his heartbeat from skyrocketing. It was fine, nothing was going to happen to the boy except for a few questions. This would be a good time to finish his conversation with Mickey.

But once the door on the other end of the block slammed shut he found he couldn't. Tully remained on the bed, still for a long moment. It was guilt that festered in his gut; that he couldn't keep Juice from being taken away like this, that Nuke had been attacked too. Good he was getting out. He was losing focus. Tully took a long breath and opened the eyes he hadn't realized he'd closed. “What did you find out?”

“Went to Saint Joe's. They called his mother. Don't know if she's on her way or not. I imagine so. I'll find out.” Mickey was sitting on his bunk similarly to Tully. “It didn't look good, boss.” He lapsed into silence as Tully was, letting the shot-caller think.

And worry. He shouldn't, but Tully was. They'd been caught with their pants down. This was still a prison for god's sake and physical violence was still the order of the day. Nuke should have never been so vulnerable. They needed to get more defensive but after that it was time to go on the offensive again. Tully's lips curled into a sardonic smile as he finally got up. “Mick.” He hadn't retired yet.

The second looked up as Tully spoke loud enough for the other men to hear too. “Since we're on lockdown until further notice.” The processes to their future unfolded in front of him like a map. “Everyone rests up until they're healed. In the meantime, when we go out, we go out armed. Everyone. If those _fucking_ Chinks think they can pick us off one by one they've got another thing coming.” The rumbling around him told Tully that they were pleased with this sudden turn. Tully was just throwing himself into his job one last time before he handed over the reins. “You and me, Mickey, are going to have a chat with Luis. Check on his losses. As much, gentlemen, as I hate to lean so much on the wetbacks their association with us puts them in the firing line, and they do treat us good.” He let slip his accent as he smirked. “Besides if we wipe the Chinese and the niggers out we'll just have the Mexicans to contend with.” Realistically there wasn't going to be a chance to do that, ever, but his mean liked to hear it. “Pitbull excluded, of course.”

The laughter was good. It meant their focus wasn't on the sting of the attacked and the uncertainty of Nuke's injury, but on the future. Tully waited until the sounds in the other cells turned into the sounds of industry. Putting together weapons for themselves. He turned his gaze back on Mickey. “We'll inform Luis of my decision at the same time.” He said low, so only Mickey would hear it.

Mickey nodded and then backed away from the bars to get started on his own weapon. Tully would improvise, or stay inside, until his cell was searched. He knew it would be and soon. The administration was trying to pin the riot on him, and besides he was almost due for his normal monthly room-tossing. He sat back down and fluffed his pillow that Juice had squished. Far as he could tell his boy was most comfortable with firearms; staying far back from the action. Those were hardest to make, though Tully had once seen a crossbow that was simple enough as much as he could remember. Tully guessed knives were favored second but he'd been wrong before. Besides, Juice had beaten a man to near death with nothing but his bare hands and he might be okay with that. He'd ask.

“Hmm.” Where was Juice? It had already past the time it had taken for Tully and Mickey to be questioned. Restless, Tully got up again and glanced down the hallway as best he could. A small voice came up from somewhere, probably the part of him that was a long incarcerated con, pointing out that Juice _could_ be snitching. That would take a while.

No. That wasn't happening. Tully trusted Juice and that meant he trusted his boy wasn't falling into the trap. Juice knew he was safe and loved and he wasn't going to rat in pursuit of acceptance. Tully pushed that option, the whole idea, out of his head. When it was safer, he could assure Juice and himself by proxy that there was nothing to fear.

Tully took a breath and focused himself again. He considered what he was going to say to Luis. He got up and pulled a page from his legal pad at the same time he picked up his poetry book. When Juice did get back he would read to him. It felt like it had been a while. However for the moment Tully needed it for the code. He'd double-code this one, so he'd need another book after this. Maybe a third. This list of his contacts was going to be a gold mine if the administration ever found it. Mickey would need to get a hold of them; Tully added the best way he knew how alongside each name. Risky to do it this way but if they kept it no longer than necessary and always in sight it would make the transition that much faster.

He got about two-thirds of the way, translating each name as he went, before the squeak of the dinner cart drew him away from the work. Still no Juice and made him frown deeply. Tully got up so he could talk to whoever was pushing the cart. That inmate, one Tully didn't recognize, handed out two trays to him when he got there. Tully took them but growled, “Not sure where my cellie went.”

The inmate jerked his thumb backwards and moved on. Tully glanced behind him and the tightness in his chest eased. Juice was walking back, sort of. It was more of a shuffle Tully recognized. Judging by the shrink at his side, he guessed they'd pumped him full of Valium or Xanax or the like. Something had happened for Juice to need the anti-anxiety medications, and the tightness came back with a vengeance. “Promise, doc. Imma be back inna morning. T'talk.” Juice slurred at him before looking at Tully with the glassy eyes of someone deep in intoxication. He grinned, “Hi,” before he made grabby hands at the bigger man. He seemed to forget they'd been cuffed.

“I'll come for you before breakfast, Mr. Ortiz.” The doctor was speaking more for Tully's benefit as the door opened and Juice stepped in. He stopped before he got close to the shot-caller, finally realizing he was still cuffed. Juice turned around and shuffled back to the cell door; Tully watched confused. He thrived on information and he just wasn't getting any. Something else was off, but he couldn't tell what. “Thank you.” Juice made an effort to speak clearly to the doctor before wandering back to Tully. “Missed you.” He pressed up on the other man, clearly seeking affection. “Sorry w's gone so long. D'we still have an audience? Wanna kiss you.” There was something in his eyes beyond the high that told Tully to check his back as he wrapped his arms around a humming and pleased Juice.

The doctor had indeed moved on as had the guard and dinner cart. “Mhmm. We're clear.” Tully gestured for the rest of the AB to give them a second and then dipped his own head to kiss Juice's forehead. “Talk to me baby. If you can.”

Juice outright giggled, a sound Tully needed in this bleak moment. Then he took a breath. “Hang on.” The young man pushed himself on Tully one more time then shuffled over to the toilet. Before the shot-caller could stop him Juice spat something into the water before jamming his fingers into his mouth to induce vomiting.

Tully's nonexistent eyebrows had to have been to his hairline as he quickly turned his back to the boy for privacy. At least until the flushing sound signaled he could look. Juice straightened and ran the water in the sink, first to clean his face and then to brush his teeth. Tully watched his beloved now even more bewildered. “Woul' you b'lieve I fuckin' hate benzos 'less it's certain times?” Juice was less slurred now. Clearly he'd been exaggerating how high he was. “Cheeked what I coul', that was th' rest.” He was still a little wobbly as he returned to Tully. “Sorry. Made you worry. C'n see it.” The boy looked down, running his hands on his scalp.

He tried not to show just how worried, keeping his voice even. “What happened?”

Juice looked at him and grinned that smile, pleased with himself. “They as'ed me a few questions. Then I had a panic attack. 'Course it migh' not have actually been as bad as they saw....” He looked to Tully for approval.

He understood it then. “You faked a bad one, so you could get to the clinic.” Tully couldn't help his smile; what a brilliant boy he had. “And?” He stroked Juice's back.

“Got a sec t'talk t'Lenny.” Juice worried at his bottom lip, making Tully have to stroke his chin and pull it out. Seeing a Son, even one who had been an inmate for so long, had to have taken a lot of courage from him. Tully almost hoped he'd taken the drugs beforehand even if he didn't like them. Just so he wasn't so afraid. “He said they brought Nuke there first, briefly. Went to th' hospital.” The boy fidgeted and his hands came up to find one of Tully's. The older man gave it willingly of course, stroking Juice's knuckles. “He said they were talkin' paralysis. If he lived.” Juice sighed and shuddered before he wiped his eyes. “Why I hate b-benzos. C-can't stop all th' feelings, good an' bad an' I can't s-stop from--”

“You're alright.” Tully pulled him into a hug with his free hand. “It's okay, baby.” He softly hushed the younger man, letting him heave and whimper into his chest. Tully could wait if there was more information; Juice needed him. He kissed Juice's forehead again. “Nuke'll be happy you miss him so much.”

Juice smiled through another sniffle. “He's tough.” He took a deep breath. “Lenny said they brought inna couple of b-bad hurt black guys an' a Chinese guy th-they couldn't save.”

That was the injuries and death that the warden had talked about. Good, the other side suffered more than his had. Sick to think of it that way, but that was this life. “Anything else he heard?” Tully gently prompted, petting Juice's scalp.

“Th' black guys had their shot-caller come up.” Juice spoke low. Of course _they_ could move freely, Tully mentally huffed. “He thought they might be considering stepping back. So they didn't lose more guys.” Another fidget, so there was more. “Asked him if-if he thought they could be convinced t' do that. Lenny said he'd ta-talk to some people.”

Tully now gently kissed him on the lips, heart soaring that Juice had the foresight to ask. Really, for being smart enough to go to the clinic in the first place. Putting in the work for Tully, and the AB. Showing the loyalty that he innately had. “Good boy.” Juice's smile made his whole face shine. “ _Good boy._ ” Tully squeezed him, though the business part of his mind pointed something out. “What's the price, baby?” He hated that he sounded so tentative. So worried again, though as long as Juice had an answer they could make it work. He needed to know, though, and hoped Juice had asked.

Juice laughed from his place against Tully's chest. “Lenny said he didn' wanna see me f'r a week in clinic 'less it was for talking to the doc. So no fights. Or panic attacks.” Juice got up on his toes to kiss Tully with a mere peck. “An' I had t'please you any way you wanted t'night.” He murmured on Tully's lips. That was definitely 'The Pimp' speaking, if Tully had any doubt. Not that Juice was arguing. “That was his price.”

Tully stroked his head, chuckling. He couldn't lie to himself, the idea of having a chemically compliant Juice was a bit of a turn-on. And stoned sex had been amazing the few times he'd done it, so he was sure his boy was going to like it too. “Alright, baby. Good enough for me.” He'd talk to Janowitz himself if need be, make sure they were squared away. “Hungry?”

Juice nodded. “St-starving. Even f'r this shit. The goddamn benzos, man.” He sighed and let Tully go, wobbling to the bed and almost flopping on it. He wiggled and set the poetry book and the list aside so it was more comfortable for him.

Tully picked up the tray and followed his boy. “They'll be out of your system in a couple of hours.” Less, if Tully thought about it. He'd thrown up after all. Tully unwrapped one tray and set it down on Juice's lap, picking up a piece of pineapple and holding it to Juice's lips. Hand-feeding was one of Tully's favorite things to do, and so when they had dinner dates together he inevitably did it at least once. “There you go.” Tully murmured as Juice pulled the morsel out of his fingertips. “Good?”

“Enough.” Juice's mouth was full but he was concentrating on putting food on the fork. His hand-eye coordination was off with the drugs. After the third or fourth time he failed, Juice just sighed and set the utensil down. “I'll eat later.”

Tully had been watching him while he ate. “You just said you were starving, baby boy.” He set his own fork down and picked Juice's up, spearing another piece of the fruit for him before handing it over. “Eat, beautiful.” Tully gave him a little peck on the cheek, before he returned to his own meal. “Don't give up. No dessert if you give up.”

Juice's pout made him smirk, but the boy got the pineapple in his mouth before trying again. “Bribery's a felony.” He did, successfully this time, spear a carrot and swallowed it down greedily. He really was hungry.

“It's only bribery if I'm getting you to do something illegal. Finishing your supper isn't illegal,” Tully leaned in to murmur in his ear, “just what good baby boys do for their Papi.” It wasn't often he spoke to Juice like a child; it was very rare, in fact. But as high as his boy was, small simple directions with lots of praise was what he needed right now. And, apparently, a bit of incentive. Tully went back to eating and Juice leaned on him with a soft noise. “And I'll read to you.” More reason for Juice to keep working at it.

Juice did keep trying. He struggled, certainly, but didn't quit. “Mkay.” Juice said with finality, setting his fork down on his empty tray. “'M done. Feelin' less buzzed, too.” He handed the tray to Tully, who got up and set both trays on the desk for whenever they got picked up. “Big bonfires.”

“Mm?” Tully reached under his pillow to grab a package of candy. Skittles again, his boy would be pleased. Juice's weight settled on his chest once he sat down.

“We used to have big bonfires on the reservation. 'S when I would take th' benzos. Watch th' fire, be chill.” Juice took one of the colorful spheres from Tully's fingers, nibbling on it before he sighed. He pressed closer and wrapped his arms around the shot-caller now, trying to snuggle with him. Or occupy the same physical space as him, Tully couldn't tell. He sniffed, and Tully stroked his back again. “W-worried about Nuke.”

The shot-caller was too, as was everyone on the cell block. Nuke was, for all his faults, well liked amongst them. “I know, baby. So am I.” Tully's hands moved again to hold his boy, keep him from floating away into his own head. Bad enough when it happened when he was sober. Tully didn't want to know what it would be like for him while under the influence. “We'll know tomorrow, Juice.” Tully made it sound final. Because it was; even if any information reached them tonight, they couldn't confirm it until the morning. That was the price of the safety of lockdown. Information moved like molasses. He kissed the top of Juice's head and offered him another Skittle. “Just relax and enjoy your buzz. It'll make it go away faster.”

Juice huffed at the truth of the statement, a quiet laugh even in his anxiety over his friend. The more you thought about how good you were feeling, the faster you noticed when you weren't. “As soon as I know, baby, I'll tell you. And everyone else.” Tully reached with one arm, making sure he didn't let go of his boy, to pick up the poetry book. “Until then, any requests?”

 


	3. Chapter 3

As promised, the doctor summoned Juice early the next morning. The boy crawled out of Tully's octopus-like hold looking miserable; Tully felt about the same way. Neither man had realized how much the drugs would affect the intensity of Juice's nightmares, and so halfway through the night howls howls of terror had woken them both up. Sleep had been difficult returning, and when they had it was fitful. “Save me a breffast tray?” Juice slurred, rubbing his eyes. Tully nodded and rolled to give his back to Juice. He was too tired to even climb up to his own bunk. He felt the press of a kiss to his own cheek. “Love you,” was a whisper in his ear before the guard once more called for Juice to hurry. The boy was apparently too sleepy even now that he was up to notice the identity of the guard; maybe a blessing that it was this early. The boy wasn't awake enough to object or be fearful. Tully smiled against Juice's pillow and let himself drift. It might have been a sleepless night but Tully still had his beloved. He could forget about the bad shit for a while.

When he next woke up it was to the squeaking breakfast cart. Juice still wasn't back but they handed Tully two trays so he wasn't likely far behind. He set one on the desk before sitting at it as well to eat. Eating without Juice in his bed felt wrong somehow, even if the boy didn't mind when he'd done it before. Soggy waffles and apple juice, Tully's favorite of the rotation of meals. Reminded him of bachelor days with Will, in between gigs. When this was dinner late at night before they painted the town red. He missed his brother, missed those times. It was an inconvenience of incarceration. Probably the biggest one for him.

Nostalgia was a bitch and he had to remove himself from her siren call. Tully got up and grabbed his list and the poetry book. He had to finish that while his boy wasn't around so he could read the poetry book to him without losing his place in the work. “Tully.” Pearson's voice made him look up before he got settled into writing.

“Mm?” He turned to her and sipped at the box of apple juice. Honestly Tully didn't know what she was here for; she'd just gotten on shift if he knew her schedule right. They would have just had their pre-shift meeting.

“Your man survived the night. All we know.” He stared at her, into those intense blue eyes with his hazel ones. That _was_ all they knew, he didn't doubt that but Pearson's tone was very odd. Like she was relieved for that and reticent at the same time. The guard's poker face was as good as ever though, and he couldn't get any more than that.

Tully nodded at her. “Small favors. All we can expect, I suppose. Thank you for letting me know.” He paused. “Is his mother coming from New York, have you heard?” Tully could get friends to meet her at the airport; Nuke's mother wasn't unsympathetic to their cause. Just, according to Nuke, never pleased her first born had gotten so deep into the violence. An escort was the least Tully could do.

Pearson studied him like she knew what he was thinking. “I believe so. Probably already in the air, though.”

No matter, Tully could have people on their way as soon as she left. He nodded at her anyway. “Thank you.” Couldn't hurt to say that again. The assistance was unusual, but he wanted to keep it coming.

“Mm.” She looked down the hall now. “And there's Juice.” Pearson nodded at him and then turned back to Tully. “Let you know more when we know.”

The shot-caller gestured and stuck the list into the poetry book, no further work done on it. Juice wouldn't ask questions; he was so good like that. Tully still wouldn't do much while he was here. If he was honest, he enjoyed the time he could just cuddle with his love. “Are we going to get out of here anytime soon?”

Pearson stepped aside to let Juice in, and was about to answer him when his boy grinned briefly before turning and getting the cuffs taken off. “I got two years. What're you, 25 to life?” The guards snickered but Tully just shook his head. His boy's eyes were a little red, he noticed now as he got close to grab the tray of his breakfast before moving to his bunk. Must have been a rough talk.

“Something like that.” Tully let himself rumble soothingly. “I _meant_ lockdown.”

“In time for dinner, if you're lucky.” Smith, who had been the one to escort Juice, finally spoke up. “If you're unlucky, tomorrow. 'Less you have information?”

Smith was kind of cute, for a guard. Still a newbie, clearly, he wanted so hard to try and get a leg up on the prisoners that he was tasked with watching. He'd made too many presumptions based on Tully's closeness to him. He'd assumed Tully was going to talk because of it. Pearson, though, was the one to correct him. “Subtle as a brick to the face, Ryan. Good job. Should just ask him if he wants to rat.”

Both the prisoners in Tully's block and Pearson gave a short round of laughter. “I'll pass, thank you.” Tully waved a hand and got up to sit next to Juice. He laced his fingers together and rested his hands on his lap. Tully gave his neutral smile, but he knew it didn't go to his eyes. “Sorry. We have rules, after all.”

Pearson patted Smith, Ryan, on the back. “Better luck next time.” Tully heard her murmuring to him. They would have to get up pretty early to outwit prisoners, especially shot-callers like Tully. It was just how it was.

Once they wandered away, he put his attention on his boy. “Hey baby.” Juice had picked at about a quarter of his breakfast, and there were fresh streaks on his cheeks. Tully was fairly certain that it was just the end of whatever had upset him during his appointment and not anything that had been said here. The boy had that faraway look to him, quiet during the exchange beyond the smart-assed comment he'd made. “Want to talk about it?” Tully could at least offer, had offered before when this had happened.

Like then, though, Juice declined with a shake of his head. “Jus' 'bout the nightmares.” He said quietly, pushing the eggs around with his fork. He set the utensil down, but moved his hand to be able to take Tully's.

It gave him a good idea of what was upsetting his beloved, so Tully knew what his next move was. He scooped up a chunk of waffle with his other hand, holding it up to Juice so that the boy would keep eating. He just wanted to be cuddled and cared for, and that was Tully's job after all. “Mm. I'm sorry baby boy.” Juice sucked the syrup off of his fingertips, and Tully picked up another morsel. His cock didn't even twitch; like it knew how inappropriate the timing was. “I'll listen if you need.”

He knew that would be enough for Juice, because so many people hadn't before. Tully wouldn't force his boy to talk, but make himself open for it. The sound that his boy made around the waffle in his mouth, a half happy hum and a half whimper of disbelief, let Tully know that it had been the right thing to say. “Did you hear Pearson?” He licked his own fingers now, and put the straw in the apple juice box before he held it up and offered it to his boy. This time Juice took the box out of his hands to sip on it. “Nuke made it through the night.”

Juice shook his head as he drank. “Didn't hear. 'S good. Anythin' else?” He yawned before he nibbled on a the last of the waffles. “Before I came back last night? Sorry I was such a mess.” Juice set the apple box down and looked to his Papi with watering eyes.

“Ah ah ah.” Tully reached and lightly wiped first one eye, and then the other to catch the tears before they started falling. “You took care of business, baby, and you helped. And I thank you for that.” His first instinct was to tell someone to have a violent chat with the doctor for hurting Juice's feelings so. Tully squashed it, though. If he was going to be angry with anyone, it should be with the Club. His sweet boy so vulnerable and fucked in the head because of them. What their man had done. He nuzzled Juice, gave him a kiss on the top of his head. “Once we're off lockdown, no one goes out unarmed. _No one._ ” He was careful to not speak too loudly. It wouldn't do for anyone to overhear him giving orders to break the rules. Especially such a rule as keeping weapons on one's person. “Nuke's mother is on the way.” Tully rose his head, looking to Mickey. “See if you can get word out to have someone meet her.”

“Mmhm. Getting it done boss.”

Juice slurped up the last of his drink. Letting out another yawn he got up and set the tray on the desk, careful to balance his own on Tully's. He sat back down with the poetry book in his hand, and then leaned against the other man. “'M tired.” Juice mumbled into his shoulder.

No wonder, really. He'd had just as bad a night's sleep as Tully; worse even, and he hadn't gotten a chance to go back to bed. “Wanna lay down, beautiful?” He stroked the boy's scalp before bringing his arms around into a hug. “Get some extra sleep?” Of course Tully wasn't surprised when Juice nodded. “Shall I stay or go?” Tully could work at the desk. Or nap in his own bunk.

“C'n I sleep on you?” Juice looked up at him with those big brown eyes. “'Less you had something you wanted to do?”

Tully just couldn't say no to them, ever it seemed. “Of course. All my plans are outside the cell.” He nuzzled Juice again before releasing him from the gentle hold. Juice immediately wiggled, trying to lay down in the space between Tully and the head of the bed. “Hold on, baby.” Tully got up, and moved so he was where the pillows normally sat. He set one of those pillows down on his lap, and then patted it. “There you go. Far more comfortable than trying to scrunch on half of the bed, hm?”

First Juice pulled off the uncomfortable prison shirt they had to wear, and then he nodded as he laid back down in his undershirt. “Love you.” Juice closed his eyes and yawned again. “Know that, righ'?”

Juice's weight on his lap was comforting to him too, and Tully stroked the boy's scalp and down the nape of his neck. “I do know. Love you too, baby.” Unusual line of questioning, but Tully wouldn't push now. Likely Juice was just feeling insecure. “Go to sleep. I'll let you know if there's anything important, I promise.” Finally Juice closed his eyes, but Tully kept petting until his sweet boy's breathing evened out. Then his fingers settled, though his mind didn't. This was going to be the last of the problems on his watch. Tully would settle this; get the Chinese off their backs and then let Mickey take over it. As long as nothing else happened between then and now.

That was the problem, though, wasn't it? This was prison. He was high-up in a criminal organization. Something would always happen to him, even if he wasn't the one directly giving orders. Tully would always be a target, and so would Juice. Attacks would happen, and Juice would always be in the crossfire. At best. At worst he was a target himself.

Tully's fingers slid down to rest on Juice's throat. He could feel the heartbeat there, steady. Not thrumming too fast in excitement or fear. Just relaxed as he'd drifted to sleep in the lap of his beloved.

It wouldn't take much. A squeeze of both hands and Juice just wouldn't wake up. Tully had done it before, he wouldn't leave any marks except for the bruises on his neck. No fear, no pain, just dreaming of whatever he was dreaming of. Tully would lose any privileges he'd had, but what were they against saving someone from the greater possible pain to come? Jeff would get off his back too, if Tully was being selfish.

But he was always selfish. Killing Juice would hurt him more than anything else would. Not having him around would break his own heart. So Tully pushed away the thoughts of going back on his path and set his mind right again. He traced the blood vessels down Juice's neck, still feeling for that strong heart. The one that carried his beloved through all that bullshit that kept raining down on them. Kept him smiling with that smile even in the darkest days. Sometimes the smile was tiny, only for Tully's benefit, but he was _trying_ and that's all that mattered. “Boss?”

Mickey spoke quietly, so as not to make Tully jump and scare the boy off of his lap. The shot-caller looked up as his fingers moved on their own back to Juice's scalp. A guard was walking away from his second's cell, tapping his pocket as he went. “Set up the meeting for day after tomorrow. With Luis.”

Tully nodded waiting until the guard left their block. “I've got a partial list of the others we need to contact.” He too kept his voice low though it was to keep the others from overhearing him. Tully couldn't help but smirk. “Have I recommended you read Ms. Bronte?” The groan from Mickey told him that the other man knew what _that_ meant. Mickey could be so sensitive about his masculinity and having the poetry book in his cell, even though it was for translation was a threat to it. “I'll send it over to you. Or let you borrow it at dinner.” The rumble across the hallway was enough of confirmation for Tully. He knew that Mickey knew it was of utmost importance that the list remained in code.

On his lap Juice made a soft sound, causing Tully to look down. His love's eyes were squeezed tight and his body had tensed. Another nightmare, it seemed. “Shhh, baby boy. I'm here.” Or at least the beginning of one, and Tully once more started to pet him. “Safe and sound.”

Juice calmed then, and slowly relaxed once more. “The punk whisperer.” Mickey snorted, though he didn't _really_ mean it as disrespectfully as it sounded. “That'll be your new title, boss.”

“Please no. I'll have all the other shot-callers banging down my cell door to fix their fucked-up punks. And besides, you ever read that story? The whisperer in question dies at the end.” Tully shook his head. “No thanks.” He almost said something about trying to retire, but the others were listening. Or at least they could have been; there were definitely sounds of industry coming from the other cells. Tully had totally forgotten to ask Juice his preference, blast it. His boy knew he'd have to go out armed though. That was good enough for the moment. Tully caressed the stubbly head in his lap. He loved this man so much. So much to be giving up his life's work, apparently. The shot-caller adjusted so he could pick up the mostly forgotten poetry book with its list inside. He could work on it, though not easily. Being a righty, he should have had Juice sleep the other way.

Ah well, Tully could just read. Even without seducing Juice with them, he still loved Ms. Bronte's words. “Boss.” If anyone would let him finish a thought, at any rate. That would be great. Tully looked up annoyed. “You showering, boss?” There was a guard clearly waiting for Tully to get up. They were on lockdown, something was clearly fucking wrong. He actually heard the edge in Mickey's voice now, too.

Tully shifted his hand to the back of Juice's neck. Made it look like the sleeping boy drooling on his lap was actually giving him head, using the pillow as cover. “Busy.” He growled out in his usual drawl. “Next week is fine.” He expected guff from the guards, braced for it. That was what they did if you disobeyed.

Instead they shrugged and wandered back down the hallway. Maybe they really had just been there to take him to the showers. It wouldn't be that great to go without, but with no way of knowing this was the better option. Safer, certainly. Juice made a muffled sound and Tully eased his hold. Stroked the soft nape with his thumb. “What was that, I wonder?”

“Fuck if I know. See what I can find out.” Mickey rubbed his face. “Fuck this lockdown shit, boss. I hate not knowing things.”

“I know it.” Tully looked down at his boy again, smirking. “Eventually we'll be able to email, hmm? Information in a moment.”

“Not soon enough.” Mickey muttered and went back to whatever he'd been doing before they were bothered by the guards. “Last night, did Juice say they were letting the blackbirds fly around free?” The other man, the soon-to-be-shot-caller had his head bent down. Tully was fairly certain he was working a bit of softer plastic into a stabbing implement. If he were to guess, anyway. That was what Mickey liked.

Tully just couldn't keep his hands off of Juice, try though he might. Seemed to help keep the nightmares away. He started to trace his fingers on those scalp tattoos. “Mmhm. Unfortunate, but they may be trying to withdraw remember. We can let them fly as free as they like if they want to as long as they stop helping Ching and Chong.”

“What fuckin' racial harmony.”

“Mmhm. You should still file a discrimination suit.” Waste the admin's time, that was always a good idea. It was Mickey's turn to learn when it would be best to do those sorts of things. Tully grazed his fingers on Juice's jawline. Maybe he could convince the young man to get a tattoo on his neck; the Iron Cross to match his own. “If it's not specifically AB...” He mumbled to himself, tracing the outline of the Cross.

Mickey looked up again, turning the sink water onto hot to be able to shape the plastic easier. Tully told him, making the other man snort. “If you can convince your spic, go for it.” Clearly he doubted Tully's abilities to do so. “Long as it isn't ours.”

Shaking his head, Mickey lapsed into silence and left Tully to think. Instead of lingering on the attack, and its consequences he pushed his mind to a different direction. The promises he'd made to Juice night before last. True conjugal visits weren't common between inmates and visitors, and even less so between inmates. But like everything else in prison, it could be bought by anyone, and the rooms were even private unless you paid otherwise. Tully had taken advantage of them in his younger years, especially with his ex-wife but hadn't in quite a while. In his memory though, they were as opposite as you could get to the cold and lonely protective custody cells with a king sized bed and warm sunshine coming through a barred window. Not terribly romantic, but different enough to erase their first time together. Make new memories with pleasure for Juice, instead of the old ones and their associated pain.

Tully leaned back so that he could rest against the wall. He closed his eyes, still stroking Juice's head. Tully knew, intellectually, that sex in prison was very rarely consensual. If you were penetrated you were a victim, and doing the penetrating made you a rapist. Tully knew that, understood that in his many years of incarceration that fucking punks meant he was raping them. _He_ was a rapist. His jaw worked and he stilled his fingers once more on that throat just to feel Juice's heart. It was the first time he'd really confronted what he'd done. Did Juice have nightmares about him? Were there scars on his flesh and his psyche from the things that Tully had done? Most likely, and Tully knew that even if his boy, his beloved ever said he forgave him what the shot caller did was unforgivable.

The best Tully could do now was to treat Juice the way he deserved going forward. Apologize too, but he couldn't really expect Juice to accept it. That was on his boy. Tully let himself have a deep sigh, and he started to pet once again. The waiting lists for the conjugal rooms were long, and you couldn't pay your way to the front. Easiest to get on a guard's good side to make it go a little faster but there were few guards that Tully found sensitive or trustworthy enough for these sorts of things. He'd make the arrangements himself, as soon as he could, and he'd make it as romantic as he could. Tully could ask Juice later if he had any desires; fantasies he wanted to fulfill.

A squeaking cart wheel brought Tully out of his head and made him open his eyes. He couldn't see what it was from this spot, but he could hear Cornelius' deep voice speaking to the other inmates in each cell before the squeaking started up again. The man stopped in front of them. “Tully.”

Tully nodded, stroking Juice like he himself was a monarch and Juice was his cat. He noted the look on the librarian's face, a little wide-eyed with fear but that wasn't unusual. The man continued. “Heard y'all were still on lockdown, thought I might start my rounds here.”

“Thank you.” He kept his own voice low, not willing to wake Juice up. It would carry enough. “I think we're good in here.” Tully used his other hand to gesture, to wave Cornelius off.

The older man paused. “Actually, Tully, I think I got something you really ought to read.” The shot-caller examined the other man's expression closer. Fear, not just of his surroundings but of something else. Maybe intimidated into passing along whatever message he held on his cart.

Tully honestly felt a flare of anger; whoever had done it didn't really understand the rules, unwritten as they may have been. Cornelius was neutral, his library a safe space. The AB might have called him names, treated him poorly due to his skin color but they didn't _threaten_ the man. He worked too hard for the good of all. Tully gently bounced his knee. “Baby boy. Sit up for a minute, beautiful, have to grab some books for us.”

Juice mumbled something, and then turned to blink up heavily at Tully. The man wasn't even sure he was awake all the way, but he did as he was told. Tully got him settled onto the pillow again and tucked him in, making sure he would stay as warm as he had been. Then in three long steps he got to the bars of his cell, looking down at Cornelius. “What do you recommend?” Still quiet.

Cornelius silently handed him a dog-eared copy of _Hoyle's Card Games_ and Tully flipped through it. He didn't get very far when a post-it note stuck to a page caught his eye. In tight, blocky letters there were four words:

**MACHINE SHOP**

**TOMORROW NIGHT**

There was no name, but Tully glanced at the chapter heading above the post it. _Get Lucky Quick,_ it said and even Tully had to smirk at it. “Clever.” Happy wanted a meeting. What for, he couldn't tell and there was no way he was going unarmed and without backup but Tully was curious. He apparently had to educate the other man about manners again anyway so he had to go. He stepped back to his bunk and pulled out a twenty, switching it for the post-it note. “Not interested in this one, Cornelius. Perhaps you could get one on poker?” Tully smirked and handed back the book. The older man would get it; the money was an apology.

“'Course.” Cornelius looked relieved as he set the book back down on his cart. “Anythin' else, Tully?”

He turned to look at still sleeping Juice and then back to Cornelius. “Fantasy?” The boy liked it, and Tully could get into it as long as Juice did. “Something I don't have to make a chart of who's related to whom for to enjoy it, please.”

The librarian huffed in amusment, clearly trying to move on from whatever had scared him now that he'd done his job. He held up a copy of _The Fellowship Of The Ring_. “How about one with the charts already made?”

Shuffling behind Tully made him look again, and Juice was sleepily rubbing his eyes. “'Ve never read 'em. Jus' saw th' movie,” he slurred, “C'n we?”

Spoiled boy. Tully reached for the book and Cornelius made his notes. “Thank you.” The other man moved on, making sure the rest of the AB weren't bored in their cells. They were still working, but a few took books anyway because who knew how long this would last. Tully stepped back and returned to his bunk, where Juice had rolled back over with his eyes shut. He needed more sleep and he could have it, of course. “Want me to join you, baby?”

Juice sat up again with a grumble, letting Tully sit down next to him. The older man had the tome of a book with him, and considered starting to read it out loud. The boy settled down on his lap again, needing him there despite his grumbling on sitting up; one arm came up to rest on Tully's abdomen in a gentle hug. “Love 'oo.” He mumbled before yawning and falling back into sleep.

“Love you too.” Tully fished the post-it note out of his pocket; luckily he'd stuck it in the side that wasn't occupied by Juice. It was so simple, so plain. Happy would know he knew _which_ machine shop, and made no other demands beyond the specific time. Turning his belly up in supplication, in a way. Tully would find out then if he was baring his throat, too. Accepted his possible death. Tully smiled honestly at the thought. Revenge; he wasn't a saint and he'd been denied it before. Repeatedly. The scars were good as was the humiliation but something else was better. He hummed as he stroked Juice's head. Best to listen to the other man, first, even as Tully craved that vengeance deep in his gut. “Mickey. Can you get McManus to come have a chat with me?” He needed a trustworthy guard to take him, one who would step in if Tully got over his head. He'd tell Froggy too, have him as backup.

Juice after, of course. No need to worry him or worse have him try to change Tully's mind. He stuck the note this time in his shirt pocket and opened up the Tolkien. He could at least be familiar with the first chapter for when he read it to Juice. Also he could, without disrupting the flow his his voice, check the glossary and pronunciation in the back of the book.

Halfway through Bilbo's birthday party more wheel sounds made Tully look up. Sounded like food. He stuck a bookmark in between pages and bounced his knee again. “Think I hear lunch, baby.” Juice groaned again and sat up, rubbing his eyes. This time Tully set the pillow back in its usual place before he turned a little to be able to look at his boy. Or at least the back of his boy's head. Only for a moment, Juice stretched out and twisted to hang his legs off the edge of the bunk. “Sleep okay?” He reached and brushed his fingers down his back.

His boy didn't flinch, just pushed into it. He was far more relaxed than he had been in a while. Perhaps knowing that Tully was watching him sleep made it easier for him to do so. He nodded, and then got up as the lunch cart approached. “Not 'nough.” Tully watched as Juice stretched, realizing that his leg had fallen asleep with Juice having laid on it for so long. He started to rub feeling back into it. “But it helped.” Now he turned and smiled a little at the other man. “What?”

“Pins and needles.” Tully growled and kept rubbing. “Grab lunch for us, baby.” He had to sit differently next time Juice passed out on him.

Juice took the trays from the inmate handing them out, waiting for a moment as the other man spoke before he turned back. He frowned as he returned to his seat watching as Tully kept rubbing. “Sorry.” Juice waited until he was done before he slid the tray over. “It was still better when you were watching.” He said softly before he peeled off the foil that kept the trays hot. Careful not to rip it; Tully could guess for future weaponry use. Or email. Most likely that and Tully saved his own foil similarly. “Sleeping, I meant.” Juice stirred the gravy and mashed potatoes until they were thoroughly mixed. “Thank you.”

“You're welcome, and don't be sorry.” There was something in his boy's voice Tully couldn't place. He had to be gentle in approaching it.

Turned out he didn't have to; Juice spoke again after a couple of bites. “Had some bad dreams.” He stared at his tray. “Crashing my bike,” Juice stopped a moment, “usually we're both on it an' bad things happen.” Juice rolled his head to look at Tully as he opened his milk. “But it didn' this time. Landed my bike on a nice soft pillow with an orange pillowcase.” He grinned and leaned over now, placing a kiss on Tully's cheek before he sipped his drink. “'M sure there's somethin' Freudian there but you know. Can't see it.” That giggle as he shifted to better rest his head on Tully's shoulder. “I love you.” Juice sighed happily before he dug into his food.

It almost made Tully feel bad for lying to the boy. Not really lying, concealing his intentions for the future. He couldn't help it, he wanted to surprise Juice. He could, at least, tell a version of the truth now knowing that he would give the full truth later. It wasn't using him, just sparing him some stress. “Love you too.” Tully kissed Juice's forehead while it remained against him. “I have a meeting tomorrow and the day after, after dinner. I'll be back before lights out, though.” He spoke into Juice's skin. It wasn't a lie.

“'Bout Nuke?” Juice stiffened briefly and then relaxed. Forgetting then remembering that Tully kept all his promises, maybe.

Tully kissed him again, humming. “Mmhm. Our plans moving forward.” When Juice nodded in acquiescence he went back to eating. “Speaking of, baby,” Tully kept his voice low. “After the usual redecoration you need to make a weapon too.”

Juice nodded as he nibbled on the included roll. “So much goddamned starch on these meals,” he muttered, “anything I shouldn't do?”

“What do you mean?” Tully looked over before he took a bite of the mashed potatoes and gravy. He happened to like this one. Especially the rolls. Tully could eat piles of them, with some butter. They were to die for with some sugar too, and positively divine when you could get a hold of cinnamon. Maybe that could be their dessert for the next date night.

The younger man stuffed some more potatoes into his mouth but didn't touch the rest of the bread. “You know. Like the clovers bein' for the AB only. But f'r weapons.” He shrugged and nudged the roll toward Tully with his pinkie. He knew his lover too well, and Tully pulled it off of his tray.

He took Juice's butter too. “Oh no. Anything goes. Just be practical baby boy.” Tully knew Juice knew, this certainly wasn't his first stint in prison but he couldn't help himself. The shot-caller poked at the canned corn, and when he caught Juice doing it they both laughed. He loved that man, able to snicker at silly small things even when he was no doubt inwardly stressed. “None for you either?”

“Fuck no. I don't even like the stuff on the cob, forget this shit.” Juice smirked. “Baby corn is alright, I guess. Sometimes.” Now the boy was staring out at the cell. Tully could see the wheels in his sharp mind turning. Maybe putting together something in his head. “An' practical is so un-fun, Papi.” He grinned with that brilliant smile. The boy was his sunshine, his absolute beloved.

It was good Juice felt so happy despite their circumstances. Hopefully it would carry through the next couple of days which were bound do be even more stressful. “I know, but much more likely to get us into trouble. Another time.” He paused before he took a drink. “I hope not, but realistically.”

“Realistically I'll keep my coffee creamer flamethrower idea in mind.” Juice laughed at Tully's bewilderment. “Wouldn't be too hard. In theory, anyway. You've never considered it?” Tully shook his head and gave Juice another kiss, which made the boy snuggle up to him once more. He picked the chicken chunks out of the gravy while he rested. “Mm. Papi, I think I needa lock. F'r my chest.”

His personal footlocker. Tully's was locked, but Juice had never bothered. He didn't mind if Tully was in there though he never did so without permission. It took a moment for the shot-caller to understand it. Simple, but effective; a lock in a sock, or even just your hand in a pinch made for an excellent bludgeoning weapon. Since they sold it in the commissary having one didn't automatically get you thrown into the hole for having contraband. Clever boy.

“Indeed. A lot of riff-raff in Stockton. Mostly in the other wings but sometimes you do get one or two in here for searches.” Tully nuzzled him and pulled the tray over. They were both done it seemed, and Juice didn't argue. “Baby boy, what did the delivery con say?”

“Oh, shit.” Juice blushed, looking down as Tully got up to set the trays to be collected later. “Forgot to tell you. He said rumor in the kitchens had it that we'll be off lockdown for dinner. But 's just rumor, dunno what kinda weight we can give it.” Juice slid off the bed, laying down on the floor on his back. “C'mon, hold me.”

As Juice crossed his arms over his chest and brought his knees up, it was clear to Tully what he wanted to do. Work out, as much as he could in the space they had and his physical limitations. “Take it easy, baby boy. You just ate.” He folded himself down onto his knees and grabbed his boy's ankles.

“He just wants you between his legs, Tully.” Mickey piped up, a hint of amusement to his voice. “Right in front of everyone.”

“Damn, my plan has been foiled. Nng!” Juice rolled his eyes and with some effort managed to crunch up. He did smirk and plant a light kiss on Tully's lips before he went back down in a controlled manner. “Why did you have t'tell him, Mickey?” He went up again, repeating the kiss.

Mickey snorted behind him. Tully knew that he couldn't actually see that Juice was kissing him. Juice was a little minx, and in his tight t-shirt Tully couldn't help but let himself eyeball the boy. He was straining a bit, trying to push through the pain. When Juice came up a third time Tully nipped the boy's lip as they touched, giving Juice the knowledge of what he was doing to him. Tully grinned at the boy's blush. “Just protectin' the boss, Pitbull. Who knows what your scheme is. An' we can usually trust those guys to know that sort of stuff. They gotta prepare the shit, after all. Be good to get out of here.”

“Just in time to come back afterward.” Tully groused; even he couldn't spend all the time in his cell. He heard Mickey passing along the news to the other members of the AB, and then the sounds of more weapon-making. They had a deadline now.

Juice grunted again, this time nuzzling Tully's nose. “I'm sure we can find some way to occupy our night.” He smirked and went down again, slower this time when he knew that Tully was watching. That boy was going to get them into trouble, because if he kept teasing Tully would just have to screw him right on the floor of the cell. Juice licked his lips and crunched up again. “Readin' th' book you grabbed, maybe?”

“Oh yes.” Tully was distracted by his boy's movements, wanting to see more because he couldn't always look when Juice was working out outside. “Any way, baby boy, I can get you to do this shirtless?” He spoke low, not enough for the others to hear him.

Those big brown eyes looked up at him from his position, concern in them. “Um....” Juice hesitated, and Tully knew why. He wanted to say no, he didn't want his forbidden tattoos flashed, but he also wanted to please his lover.

Honestly Tully had stepped over a boundary by asking and he had to make it right. “Mm.” He smirked, and stood up. “Stay there.” He got up and opened his own drawer, tossing down one of his tank tops. It would show a lot more, but still cover what Juice wanted to remain covered. Tully folded his arms and waited, looking down at his boy.

Juice caught it while still laying on the floor as Tully had told him to. “I'm gonna stretch the shit out of it, Tully.” Tully would just get more. They both knew it, and so Tully just waved at him impatiently. He waited until Juice started to wiggle out of his shirt and into Tully's before he took his position again. That was _much_ better; Juice was indeed much broader than he was and the tank top was tight on him. He knew he was staring but he didn't stop. Juice wearing his clothes was a visible sign of his claiming of his boy and Tully wanted to appreciate it. “Alright, ya perv.” Juice was blushing as he crossed his arms across his chest again, and those biceps were a work of art. “Quit st-staring and help me.” Not an uncomfortable stutter, not really.

Tully grinned as he held down Juice's ankles, and he dropped his voice an octave once Juice did another crunch. “I'll stare at my beautiful boyfriend if I want to, Juice.” He felt the shudder even down here, and he kept grinning as he came up again. “Wearing my clothes because he's all mine.”

The panting was a little too hard now and Juice squirmed a bit. Tully was being quite a horrible tease and he knew it. He just wasn't a saint. But now it was Juice's turn to get back at him. He struggled up and kissed his lover, murmuring against his lips. “Back rub after 'm done? Treat your boyfriend after he worked out for ya? Your hands are strong as hell.” Juice rolled back down, eyes lidded and that wonderful grin seductive at the same time it was proud. He was such a different person when he was relaxed.

“I do like you well rested baby boy. An' since you asked so nicely, I'll give you what you want.” _What I want. What you need._ That was always unspoken, that Tully would take care of Juice in all the ways that were best for the other man. “After you're done working out.”

Juice nodded, and then did a few more crunches. He kissed Tully lightly each time, but finally had to take a break, rubbing his side. It had to be sore, but at the same time the boy had to be teasing him by touching himself gently, just for Tully's benefit. The shot-caller was sure of it when he laced his fingers behind his head. “Ten more.” He smirked and let Tully get a full view of his torso. That abdomen, six pack straining. His pecs filling out the tank top like Tully never could.

The older man almost forgot to kiss his boy for making it to the top. He even ran his tongue along Juice's lips, tasting gravy and a little butter. “Mmm.” Tully hummed with it as Juice dropped down. “One, then.” Those biceps. Triceps. If they kept this up Tully was going to find some secluded place to rub one out. Outside some time, like he'd promised Juice.

Now Juice was grinning as he came up. “I love you. You should see your face.” A quick peck and down again.

“What, pray tell, are you talking about?” He shifted to rest his knees on Juice's feet, pinning him that way. It left his hands free to explore, and he danced his fingers on those muscular calves. Juice did not skip leg day. Tully dug his fingers in briefly, just to feel the hardness.

More of a smoldering gaze and Juice bit his lip to keep from moaning. “You look like you're going to eat me alive.” A kiss, and Tully could see the goosebumps. Juice _wanted_ to be eaten alive. “Would it be better, or worse t'know I sometimes did all this naked at home?”

“Oh _fuck._ ” Tully couldn't keep that low and he almost crawled on top of Juice. Hump him like a dog and rub his erection on the boy. He couldn’t tell if Juice was hard too, but he could guess. “Boy.” Tully growled, pulling his arousal back before he did something embarrassing.

Juice wiggled out of his hold, still grinning as he brought his feet up. “Whaat?” The position showed Tully his ass too, and the shot-caller had to lean against the bars to get the full view of it. It helped to put some distance in between himself and Juice to avoid doing something undignified.

“I can't cash those checks your mouth is writing right now, that's what.” Tully kept growling low, and Juice shuddered. Tonight though, Tully would have his boy. If he could wait that long.

“Damnit!” Someone hollared down the hallway. “They ain't gonna fuck.”

Juice sat up all the way at that, face burning red in embarrassment. Tully frowned and turned slightly so it was clear he was yelling at his idiot gang members. The voice had been someone new; Tully didn't bother to think of his name. “Excuse me?” It wasn't annoyance, it was anger but he kept it controlled. Barely. His boy's flirty behavior was so beautiful, and so rare, and now he would withdraw to not upset the others. Not just that, they'd forgotten Tully was still the boss. “I think along whatever bet you just lost you're going to also be paying _me._ ” Muttered curses from the new man. “The 'mind your fucking business' tax, dipshit.”

Tully looked back at Juice, and then came off the bars to crawl over and kiss him. “What do you do next in your routine?” It was like a switch he had; the scary boss in one moment, the gentle lover in the next. Soon he wouldn't have to change so harshly, and that was a bit of an internal relief.

“Um,” Juice did relax even in Tully's crowding him, “push-ups. Usually.”

He backed off once more moving to rest his back on the bunk now. “Mm. Should do that next then.” Tully made a bit of a 'go on' gesture when Juice looked to him. It would give them both a moment to cool down, with Juice doing something by himself but Tully could still watch.

Juice rolled to his stomach at Tully's encouragement, hands by his shoulders. Of course he wouldn't let it be that easy. “Papi...” The smile came back albeit shyer than before. “Not sure how far I have to go down. C'n you put your fist down?”

Tully ignored the obvious opening for some kind of sexual crack. Instead he almost stalked him cat-like as he crawled back to Juice. The goosebumps on his boy's skin were back as Tully approached. “Where, baby?” He laid down on his stomach, bending his too long legs up so they rested on the bunk. His head was close to Juice's too, even more intimate than they had been if it were possible. Juice reached out and took Tully's hand, dragging his fingers along Tully's knuckles before he arched his spine and placed the hand right at his sternum. Obvious he knew exactly how far he had to go down, but that wasn't part of the game.

“There.” Then he shifted his hands and with his back now ramrod straight he pushed up.

Tully curled his other arm and rested his chin on it. Juice was concentrating now, dipping down to just barely tap his chest to Tully's fist before he pushed himself up again. Breathing out hard as he did so. “So beautiful.” Tully couldn't help but murmur.

More blushing that this time tinged Juice's arms. Tully was on the side of the covered Sons tattoo on his forearm; Nuke had done a good job. When Juice got out it could be easily tattooed over, if the boy wanted it. Not too dark, but dark enough to satisfy the Club's requirements. He strained a little as he lowered himself, now. The barest brush and Juice rose again. He didn't go all the way up either, didn't lock out at the top. Probably hurt more but took more work. “Good boy.” Tully spoke in barely above a whisper, so only Juice could hear. “You don't take the easy way.” Tully smirked; either Juice would break his concentration to argue, or he wouldn't.

More blushing, but Juice said nothing and that gave Tully a thrill. All Juice did was smile a little as he went down and then up again. It morphed into a smirk, and Juice moved his hands into a triangle. Close in, instead of spread apart. “Show off.” Tully rumbled as Juice went down as slow as he had before.

“You like it.” Juice said softly as he did another one.

“I love it.” Tully spoke just as quietly, watching the workout. Juice was starting to develop a sheen of sweat on his skin. Tully couldn't peel his eyes away from the sight in front of him, even as narrow as it was. “I love you.” Juice switched his arms again, this time stretching them out in front of him. “Easy, baby boy.” He warned.

“I wi—ouch!” Juice didn't manage one before he dropped down. Tully didn't have time to pull his hand away, of course, so it was trapped under the boy's chest. The shot-caller didn't much care about that, though. It was the grimace on Juice's face that concerned him. “Might've been too ambitious.” He sat up enough that Tully could take his hand away. “'M alright.”

Tully pulled his legs down and sat up, shifting so that he could scoot to Juice. The boy had flipped over onto his back again. “Sure?” He reached and gently rubbed his boy's abdomen, caressing it before he slid his fingers to Juice's bad side. He twitched; it was ticklish.

He nodded anyway. “Jus' a little weak, I promise. Gotta push through the pain to make it stronger.” Juice moved and caught Tully's hand again, looking over to him with the sweetest smile. Like it didn't bother him anymore that he was sore. “An' if that's not a maybe unhealthy philosophy in life...” Juice squeezed Tully's fingers and sat up finally. “C'n I do pullups?” That grin.

But someone had to look out so that Juice didn't end up hurt, and that was Tully's job. “Mm, I think that's enough for now, baby boy.” He used his other hand to lightly rub Juice's forearm, tracing his fingers around the flaming skull there before he started to dig in a bit. Massage out the knots that were there, probably had been there a long time. Judging by Juice's groan and cut-off whimper it was a lot tighter than it first felt. “My poor baby boy, so stressed out.”

Juice breathed while Tully just rubbed for a few minutes. “Th-throttle hand. An' front brake. Lot of guys get arthritis there first. Clay did.” He brought his knees up to rest his other arm on. “Clutch,” and Juice wiggled his fingers and tapped his left foot, “an' shifter on the same side. Back brake, starter on the right foot.” Now the boy groaned as Tully started up his arm, working the bicep now. “Fuck, where did you learn...?”

“I read a lot.” Tully chuckled; he'd gone through a period where he meant to read every book in the library and had gotten as far as _Gray's Anatomy_ before he'd gotten bored. _Alternative Therapies_ included a chapter on massage. “Keep going. Will's told me nothing about riding, probably because he doesn't want me to get it in my head to start should I ever get out of here. So, continue.”

“Are you--” Tully fixed Juice with a _look_ and stopped rubbing. “You're sure an' you wouldn't ask if you weren't. You like listening to me?” Juice turned and grinned, questioning. Making sure he was saying the right things and maybe even believing them. Eventually. That was good enough for the shot-caller, and he moved once again to lean against the bunk. He reached for Juice, and the boy shifted to slot between his legs. He rested his back to Tully's chest, and that allowed the other man to reach for his other arm. “Ummmm....” It turned into almost a purr that Tully felt more than heard. “Kinda scary at first, but you gotta lean in when you turn. And keep the throttle on. Otherwise gravity wins.”

“And expensive medical bills?” Tully moved his fingers up again, working Juice's upper arm.

“Uh,” Juice paused, and Tully had a feeling he was sorting through how he should speak. “Usually you either walk away and it's just the bike you pay for, or it's...well they don't call it a donorcycle for no reason.” Juice tensed and quickly spoke to cover up the depressing commentary on Will's chosen form of transportation. He'd obviously had made his peace with it, but Tully really hadn't. Juice could help with the information he needed to do so, so Tully kept listening as he took Juice's shoulders in his hands, testing their tightness. “There's--there's ways of stayin' safe. Helmet 'n leathers,” now the boy grinned a little, “A really loud bike an' riding in groups. Ahhhhh...” Another groan, as Tully squeezed. “St-staying out of blind spots.”

“Horn?” Juice seemed to carry all his tension on his shoulders. It was all knot; no wonder the boy liked his showers hot as the surface of the sun.

A mewl of pain and Tully eased up. He'd take it in layers. “Y-you know Roadrunner, the cartoon? That 'meep meep' noise? 'S what a stock motorcycle horn sounds like. Scares bunnies out of the road, but that's about it.” Juice started to lean forward, exposing more of his back to his lover, dropping his head. It still amazed Tully that he was the one who was allowed this, this trust. Even with Nuke and Mickey he kept on alert even if he could tolerate them behind him now. “Thank you.” The boy spoke softly.

“You're welcome. So no horn. Loud exhaust works better, hmm?”

A nod and a sigh as Tully finally worked out the first layer of tension. He slid his hands down and up again, just to touch. Juice looked so damn good from behind too, in his clothing. “Mmhm. Being alert. Assumin' everyone _wants_ to kill you and is simultaneously shaving and talkin' on their phone. We were,” and here he finger quoted, “'strongly discouraged' from using anything before a long ride. More than 8 hours or so. An' we broke it up with hotel stays.” He huffed, musing. “Wonder if they learned th' value of making _reservations_ at something other than roach motels.”

Tully moved back up to his shoulders, and the tension was creeping back despite his casual tone. Time for a change in conversation. “Their fault if they didn't. You know how to drive a proper car, too right?”

The boy accepted it, and started to relax again with Tully's ministrations. “Mmhm. The cage. I don't mind driving really. Has to be a manual, though.” The huff this time was closer to real laughter. “Automatics drive me bugfuck. Just so used to using two hands and both feet.”

“Amen to that. Will's the same way. As infrequently as he tells me he drives.” Tully rolled his eyes and dug a little too hard. Juice winced and he pulled back. “ _My_ truck, mostly. Just around Cali, least that's what he says.” He suspected his brother went as far out as Nevada and Oregon with it, but Tully had never been able to prove it. “But he takes care of it and it's not like I'm using it.”

Juice's hands had started moving, lightly petting Tully's calves. “Long as he takes care of it. Those older trucks, not so much the cars but the trucks, they can last forever.” Juice practically moaned. “Ohh right there. A-anyway If we can get the parts, we can usually work on 'em and make 'em go again.”

That stoked another topic of conversation for the shot-caller as he kept rubbing at a spot below Juice's shoulder blade. He glanced at the clock, still another hour or two before dinner. And no new news about Nuke which could either be bad or good. He expected to not hear anything before they were all let out. That's what Tully _expected_ so he could be pleasantly surprised if things changed. “Do you like being a mechanic, baby?” Tully was curious.

“I'm good at it.”

“That's not what I asked.” He didn't move on from the spot he was on until the knot had fully gone away. There was one on the other side too, but Tully was wary about pressing too hard there; that side was where he'd had the broken ribs. “Do you like it?”

Juice shrugged, and then did it again because he could move it more freely. “Some days its good. I can use my hands an' see the problems more easily than others. Just the way my mind works. I see computers the same way. But some days, you know. It sucks. Nothing works or parts don't come in and people scream at you. They run their shit into the ground because they can't do basic maintenance, we fix their shit and they don't wanna pay. You know, the usual shit that comes with having a job.” Juice twisted, enough that he could just look at Tully with one eye. “You like bein' a shot-caller?”

Fair point. Tully lightly turned Juice back so he was facing straight. “It's my job.” Though not for much longer, he added privately.

“Exactly. I'm,” and now Juice gestured to the study books on their desk, “ready to move on to something else.” A moment's hesitation and Juice leaned back again to rest on Tully. He found the other man's hands and wrapped them around himself. “I'm tired of goin' home smelling like engine grease and gas. With cuts on my hands that get worse since I wash them so much sometimes.” He sighed. “And with the... nocturnal activities... I was always tired, Tully. You have no idea.”

Tully kissed his neck, squeezing Juice gently in a hug. Keeping him close and comfortable in his arms. “I do understand that, baby boy. Though I never really held down a job, this life can be exhausting.” Tully laughed, and gestured around them with his fingers as he didn't want to let go of his boy. “Until I got to this point but where has it gotten me, really?” Tully wasn't an idiot, outlaw life wasn't exactly normal. “It's not like I could put 'ran West Coast sector of a neo-Nazi prison gang' on an regular resume.” Another laugh, lightly sucking on Juice's earlobe. Not to turn him on, but to distract him from the conversation that was kind of depressing.

Juice rested his head on Tully's shoulder, exposing the sensitive skin of his throat. “I dunno, Papi,” he rose one hand to be able to tick off items, “You've been a manager, in a high pressure environment, working with a wide variety of people from differing backgrounds.” The boy grinned and set his hand down. “Oh, and you followed the rules of a corporate standard except when it would have been a better choice not to.” He shifted a little to be able to kiss Tully's chin. The boy had no idea how close he was to some version of their future. Instead he just sighed, and cuddled again closer. “Like it here.” He resumed petting the leg beside him, finding a scar of Tully's he particularly enjoyed to touch.

“I hope you mean in my lap and not in prison.” Tully returned to his own work, kissing that exposed throat. He was tempted to leave his mark on the boy again, but that would be giving a show the way that they were situated.

Juice pinched his knee but immediately soothed it with long strokes. Tully let the transgression go; Juice hadn't been nearly this comfortable with him before. “With you, in your lap.” He wiggled to press even closer to Tully's chest. “Can I, um, do that thing we're not supposed to do?”

“Which one, baby?” Tully remained in his position though he started to pet that strong chest while he was at it. Really, he was just trying to keep Juice from thinking about the negative things in his life, so the conversation and closeness had a purpose. Aside from being enjoyable for them both, of course.

“The thing where we talk about the future?”

_That_ sort of thing they weren't supposed to do. Not really a rule, just an accepted idea that thinking of the future made you miserable and that in turn made others miserable. Doing one's own time, as usual. “'It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live' baby boy. But I suppose just this once.” Of course Tully could exercise the right to veto and change conversation. “Tell me what you're thinking.”

The boy took a long breath. “Charming's not that bad. A little small but close enough to the big cities so that's okay. You still get all the life of them. But you're far enough, too, that you don't have the problems that goes along with that life.” Juice found Tully's fingers. “Wish I could show you. The shops, little ones run by your neighbors. There's even an occult shop I've been in once or twice. Guy said his brother ran one in the city, too. San Fran.” Now he sighed. “Show you the scenery. It's so pretty, honestly. I love riding through it....” The boy trailed off a moment, then spoke again. “All canyons and then forests, until you turn a corner and bam there's Charming in this valley. It's getting smaller, the valley, with all the development and the forests will probably be gone in ten years but for now it's good. Pretty.” Juice shifted, appearing like he wanted to bring his legs up. Curl into Tully and physically have the other man hold him together.

So that was the time to gently push him away from this line of thinking. “You can send me pictures, beautiful. Take a ride and show me.” Tully gave him more kisses, light as he could. “Email them.”

“Okay.” Juice still shivered a bit. He sat in silence while Tully kept touching him, kept him from drifting into that quagmire that was his mind. It was an easy path to follow for the shot-caller. Charming meant home, or maybe it wasn't, and home meant friends, or people who weren't, and what about Nuke's health and it was all a whirlpool in the making. Tully just steered him away from it which Juice caught and spoke his appreciation with a soft sound. “Dumbledore, really?” The faint smile came back.

Tully snorted and lightly pinched Juice's ass. More his hip, but the message was clear. “I told you, baby boy, I read a lot. And I'm a Nazi, not a heathen. Who _didn't_ read Harry Potter when it came out?” Juice's quiet laughter against him made the older man lightly kiss him again.

“Six month waiting list, Pit, and he gets it, what was it, third Tully?” Mickey muttered from the cell across the way.

“It was second, thank you very much. It's what money buys you.” Tully lowered his voice just to talk to Juice again. “I at least wasn't the asshole who spoiled it. That poor bastard had five different gangs trying to take him out for weeks. Calmed down after a while, but not before he almost lost his tongue.” He gave the boy one more squeeze before he released him, and patted his firm ass. Tully wanted to get his hands on it again, give him the rest of the back rub that he'd earned with his workout. “Now or after dinner?” He rumbled into Juice's ear. “You're still very tense, baby.”

Juice was silent a moment before he sat upright enough that he could roll to his knees. “After?” He got up, and then reached out to help Tully up from the floor. The shot-caller didn't really need it, but he liked the way the boy's arms worked. How he looked in his tank-top.

“That's alright.” Tully pulled him into a brief hug, kissing the top of his head. “Wear that under your shirt, baby boy.”

Juice was clearly pleased with the idea judging by the grin. Tully kept it in mind, then, for a future gift. What the occasion might be Tully didn't know but the seed was planted. Juice liked having his things close.“Yes, Papi.” He watched the boy stretch and then sit down at the desk. Intending on studying, and Tully sat down on the bed to finish the chapter he'd been working his way through. “Tully?”

Juice had turned to look at him. “Mm?” Tully opened his own book, but kept his eyes up on Juice.

He was rewarded with that wonderful smile, the one that lit up the whole cell. “Thanks. F'r...” His beloved trailed off, because clearly there was way too much to be thankful for. Tully felt the same way; he wouldn't be able to express it in only a few words, either.

“You're welcome.” Tully replied before Juice could finish. “Love you.” He couldn't help himself, he even blew a kiss at the boy. The redness of him, that cute blush made Tully's day that much better. It was still visible when Juice turned around to study a little more. Tully went back to his book, though he couldn't keep from flicking his gaze up every once in a while. Just to look at the young man that he adored so much.

“Alright, gentlemen.” Pearson's voice shook them all out of their reverie. Hopefully their weapons weren't still out; Tully mostly trusted his men to be smart. Nuke had only ever been the problem when these situations came up. “Dinner time. And the warden has even deemed it okay for you to move on your own.” There was a rumble of laughter with her smirk. “Please try and stay out of trouble for _one_ meal.” It wasn't rude, but it was still a warning she was giving them. A heads up that the wrath of the administration would come down on them if they caused trouble this soon. The men murmured in ascent but the doors didn't open right away. Pearson stepped up to Tully's and Juice's cell. “And I quote 'that goes double for Tully'.”

Before Tully could comment, Juice jumped in. He gave Pearson that grin as he stood to grab his uniform top. “Aw, does that look like a face that gets into trouble?” He slid the shirt over himself and it didn't go unnoticed by the guard that he didn't take Tully's shirt off first.

“Yes.”

“Yes.” Tully and Pearson both answered at the same time. It drew a real smile from the guard before the shot-caller pulled himself from Juice's bunk.

“I'm _trying_ to help.” Juice spoke with exaggerated despair.

“I know what I look like.” Tully watched as Juice straightened himself out. “A general menace to society, practically the antichrist himself.” A glance to the guard told Tully via her poorly-hidden smile that she thought differently. He sneered at it. “I'm not _domesticated._ ”

“Never.” Juice again piped up though he too was smiling. “Now c'mon, quit looking scary so Pearson will let us go to dinner. I'm startin' to get cabin fever an' I'm hungry.” Juice didn't tease loud enough to get the others' attention, just enough that Pearson heard. She chuckled and backed away regardless, and shortly after the door at the end of the hallway shut their cells opened. “Finally.” Juice muttered and after a quick glance stepped out.

Tully followed him, scanning the other men as they bunched around him. He and Juice were the only ones not packing, though it was only apparent to Tully because he knew where to look on the other men. If something happened, hopefully their enemies would be surprised by their armaments to give them a moment to gain the upper hand. Tully pulled Juice against him, to speak to him without the cameras or guards watching. He should have said it earlier, but there were more important things to be done in the cell. “If something happens, get away from the riot.” He made sure his tone meant no argument even at the same time he placed a gentle kiss on Juice's temple.

His boy nodded. He knew he wasn't in fighting shape and besides, he at least knew he was too important to Tully. Even if he didn't totally believe it, which Tully suspected. The shot-caller let him go just before they entered the cafeteria, though Juice remained close just like the other men. The crowd lowered its general boom as they came in, curious about their arrival. Involuntarily Tully smirked. He could feel the men around him straighten and tense. Show how bad-ass and strong they were even if one of their prime men was missing. Tully hoped he would get more news about Nuke, good or bad.

His men, including Juice were ready for a battle so Tully used the time they were walking and watching his back for him to check the state of the other gangs. Luis' Mexican Mafia were still fairly strong, talking animatedly. Lucky was keeping his head down though he wasn't isolated away from the others so _something_ must have changed. Related to the note, maybe? Tully couldn't tell. The blacks were watching them and the rest of the room warily. They'd suffered the heaviest losses and Tully wondered if they had made a decision to pull out and wait for the next conflict. He'd need to talk to Lenny and find out for sure, at some point.

The Chinese were glaring at the knot of the Aryan Brotherhood as they left the line. There were a few more guards patrolling by their table. The administration must have concluded they'd started the fight.

Wait, no. McManus, Pearson, and Smith were all circling their own table as they settled in their spots. It made almost twice as many guards as usual. For one meal! “Ridiculous.” Tully muttered as he pulled his pickles off the poor excuse of a burger. “Like we're going to start a fight.”

Juice smirked and he grabbed the discarded vegetables. “We were the victims.”

“Just another example, Pit, of how the white race is simply looked down on.” One of the of the new guys, Dave, piped up. He was the one who owed Tully; the shot-caller was reminded that he liked to start shit and that was why he'd provided commentary on their flirting. Probably started the betting pool. He was young, too. Proving himself. But Juice could handle it. Tully just kept eating. “Given a disadvantage.”

Juice glanced at the guards and lowered his voice when they were furthest away. “Dude, I watched you break a guy's nose. And here you are. I do that, and I'd be hauled off to the crazy wing, and the hole, in that order.” Juice's own slight New Yorker accent slipped out and he straightened. “Give it a rest, we believe you're white power, alright?”

Dave gaped at him like a fish. That was hysterical looking and Tully stuffed the burger in his mouth to keep from laughing. “You fuckin'....”

“And don't you owe Tully money?”

Now he was pushing it, though Tully liked his boy with backbone. He swallowed. “That's enough, I can get my own money,” he almost slipped and called Juice by his nickname, “which I haven't forgotten. You're _here_ brother. Save the 'Heil Hitler' for out there. It's a little more subtle in here.” Tully explained things, now, instead of told Dave off. The younger man, it was probably his first stint in state prison. Tully took another bite. “Unless it's a fight. Then yell all you like.”

A chuckle, and then another as Juice spoke up again. “And don't hit the white guys. That's, you know, enough for people to tell what team you play for. Also don't hit me.” He took a drink, and leaned forward to look around Tully and grin at Mickey. “C'n I call myself an honorary white guy?”

“No.” Mickey didn't even blink. “Spic housewife.”

Juice just shrugged. “Worth a try.”

Tully wondered if this confidence was due to the undershirt. If it made him _know_ that Tully had his back, so he could actually put himself out there. It made the shot-caller smile briefly. Juice feeling confident was so different. In a good way; Tully's thoughts wandered to curiosity, to consideration for the future. Wondered if he'd see Juice outside of this place ever. Not just Juice coming to him as a visitor, but knowing him without prison between them. Tully doubted it but there was that letter he still hadn't sent to his lawyer. “Boss.” Mickey gestured with his fork. Tully looked. McManus had paused at their table.

“Yes?” Tully's tone sounded scornful and bossy, but not crossing a line. McManus knew it was an act. They all had reputations to maintain, after all. “We're not causin' trouble.”

McManus just rolled his eyes at the show. “Got news about Nuke. It's still touchy, even though he made it through today.” He paused, glancing around and then he looked back at Tully. “They said he's likely paralyzed from the waist down.”

The table went silent and still. Tully prevented a slur from coming out. McManus was a guard still, even if he was one of theirs. “Thank you.” He said softly, watching the other man. It was clearly a dismissal and McManus took the hint. He moved off. Tully felt a squeeze at his thigh, and with a glance down he saw it was Juice's hand. The rest of him was poker faced, but that tiny movement told Tully his inner feelings. He dipped his own hand down and laced his fingers with Juice's, tightening briefly. Reassuring, and loving. Then they both brought their hands up; it wouldn't do to get caught like that. “I'll get more information.” Tully didn't raise his voice, just steepled his fingers under his chin now. “I want to know who hit him.” Everyone present knew what would happen after that. _Greenlight_ , marked for assassination. “And then we'll wipe them _out._ ” Tully growled low. Especially without black backup, the Chinese were still too weak to fend off a full fight from the AB. If they hadn't taken Nuke out of commission, Tully might have considered cutting them in on heroin again. Negotiated. But this was too big to smooth over. Non-negotiable.

“I'll work on it.” Mickey volunteered and Tully nodded.

“Me too.” Juice spoke even quieter, making them all look at him. Tully understood his reasoning. The boy liked Nuke a lot and he had opportunities they didn't have with his mandatory therapy. Still, it wasn't necessarily safe. “Please.” That was softer still. Only for Tully. _Let me help, do something_ it said.

He couldn't help but nod. Tully would keep an eye on him, pull him out of it if need be. “And I'll make a get well card.” Juice grinned, trying to garner another laugh but his eyes were full of gratitude for letting him have the chance.

“Course, Pit.” Mickey actually spoke to him gently. “Use those 'Queer Eye' decorating skills and make him something nice.”

Well, at least he'd _tried_ to be polite. No matter how short it had been. Juice smiled anyway. “That show's been off the air for years. But I'll try my best.” He sighed and stirred his fries around in the ketchup splatters that had dripped from his burger onto his tray. “What happens? When he c'n come back?” Juice didn't look up at anyone, though.

Not 'if' Tully noted. “Prison can make accommodations.” He himself started eating again, thinking at the same time about their next step. “And he gets to sit at the end of the table.” Tully gestured; it wasn't usually done because of the implications that someone was better than the rest of them. The inmates had just modified it that the middle was most important. “And he serves his time.”

“Oh.” Juice quieted again, and Tully wasn't sure what the look on his face meant. “That's good.”

“It's not like the MC, Pitbull.” Thierry spoke from his end. The Canadian had been the only other one to know what really went on in the outlaw motorcycle club world, and he didn't even have much experience. Tully was glad he understood and could explain. “Always something someone can do, even if they can't ride. Metaphorically speaking.”

Tully understood then, but of course someone else didn't. “I don't get it.” Dave piped up though he tried to be curious and not hostile about it.

Juice squirmed as he glanced around. Tully ran one hand down his spine and then up, and the boy relaxed. He didn't like talking about that part of his life. Didn't want to bring attention to anyone listening in. But they looked like they were getting left alone, and Juice finally spoke. “If you can't ride, you can't vote. Lose your place at the table. Basically not-- not a Son anymore.” A roll of his shoulders and he was now just picking at his food. Organizing it and Tully wasn't sure he knew he was doing it. Juice shuddered. “Figured...”

“It's not the same here. Nuke's a good man, he stays with us.” That was _Brotherhood_. Tully put finality into his words before the boy decompensated entirely. The other men nodded in agreement, reassuring Juice as well. This time Tully openly reached for the closer of Juice's hands, squeezing it once more. Even as he blushed deeply Juice returned the touch though Tully released him only a moment later. Couldn't be too open, after all. Pearson, in fact, was giving him a _look_. She must have seen it at the same time she'd seen Juice start to freak out. “Whenever he ends up returning, that is. It may be a while.” He stopped and ate for a long time waiting for Pearson to move off. Finally she did and Tully straightened. Normally, they would need to find a replacement for Nuke, or rather his position as muscle. He'd want to get that done as soon as possible, so as not to go without a strong fighter. But with his looming retirement, it would be stepping on Mickey's toes to select someone now. It could wait until they made the announcement.

Juice took a breath beside him. The boy's tension had come back now and Tully bit his tongue to keep from swearing. Dinner was almost over though and they could go back to their private place. As private as it got in prison, anyway. Tully reminded himself that he had to find one of the more sensitive guards to set his plan in motion. In a pinch Pearson would do, or McManus, but he would rather not. It was just too personal of a request. The man slid his brownie onto Juice's tray. It wasn't much, but it was what he could do right this second. His boy gave him a smile and started to nibble on it. “What's th' plan tomorrow?”

“Mine? Is to stay inside, I think.” Tully shrugged and he finished his milk. Unarmed, he was vulnerable. The end of the meal was finally signaled and they all got up. It wasn't exactly the most entertaining of ways he could spend the day, but Tully was used to it.

Juice nodded as he kept a watch while they walked. “Oh, gotta get that lock.” Tully had forgotten that. He gestured, and of course when Juice broke off he had a follower. This time it was Thierry, gently drawing Juice into an idle conversation about motorcycles from what the shot-caller could hear. He didn't catch much of the conversation, just continued onto their cell. Juice would be just fine walking with the other man; Thierry was nearly as big as Nuke. They wouldn't be long behind the rest of them.

Mickey spoke, low. “You two going to want anything? To sleep?”

Tully rose an eyebrow at him before he stepped into his cell. “We'll be alright. The drugs made the nightmares worse, you saw how he was.” If Juice wasn't alright, Tully would stay up with him, because his boy was unlikely to go back to sleep with how bad they were as well as how much he'd napped during the day. The shot-caller would be fine too.

“Whatever you do, just keep it down you goddamn sex fiends.” Mickey snorted, leaning on the bars once he was in his cell, and watched the men pass them by. Until Thierry and Juice approached; then he stepped away from the cell door to start his sleep preparations. His boy was playing with something.

“You're just jealous.” Tully grumbled, reaching for Juice's hand. The boy took it, stopping in whatever he was fiddling with and gave a squeeze before he waved at Thierry. In here they could be demonstrative. More than out there, anyway. The door shut and Tully moved to sit down on the bed. Juice didn't quite follow him yet, and he realized what the boy was messing with. It was the combination lock he'd gotten at the commissary.

Juice passed him soon after, twisting the lock in his hands repeatedly. He popped it open, then shut it, then did it again before he finally hung it off the provided hook on the chest. Innocent, but with a sinister purpose. Juice gave it a smirk and for a moment there was a ruthless outlaw in his place, pleased that he had even the slightest bit of power over someone else. But it was gone in a flash and was replaced by the sweet young man. He pulled off the regulation uniform and tossed it in the hamper. It left him in Tully's shirt and the shot-caller couldn't help but eyeball him. It still looked good. He'd laid down in the young man's bed but he rolled up so that Juice would join him. “You can keep secrets if you like.”

Juice stared at him, incredulous, as he put his pajama pants on. Tully meant it though. He knew he could trust the boy to tell him the important things. If he wanted privacy for some things, so be it. He dropped his head before he finished dressing, shaking it. “No secrets.” He climbed onto his bed to lean on Tully. “Not from you.”

“Mm. My good boy.” Tully wrapped his arms around Juice, feeling the shiver go through him. “Still want the rest of your back rub?” Either way Tully wanted to to be close to Juice, so if he didn't they could just read or find something else. The older man didn't look too hard into Juice's need or his own; he figured it was due to hearing about Nuke. Being closer to one's loved ones or some shit like that after finding out bad news.

To Tully's delight Juice nodded and looked up at him. “Floor? Too bad the beds aren't in the middle.” He didn't wait for Tully's answer, just wiggled out of his grip and got to his knees on the floor. A small smirk, clearly paired with dirty thoughts, before he lowered himself to his belly. “You wouldn't have to come down here. Remind me to sweep tomorrow. After shower, Froggy told me we had to go again. Cuz the other one didn't go so well.” He scrunched his nose before he tucked his arms under his chin to rest his head on them.

“I'd still have to bend over, it's probably better this way.” Tully followed him, and sat cross-legged at one side as he had done before. He knew where Juice's tender spots were, where he was sensitive and more likely to jump, but Tully still didn't want to just get on his back. “The curse, baby boy, of being tall.” Tully started to lightly brush his hands up and down Juice's spine, noting where all the involuntary twitches were. Juice hummed softly and closed his eyes. “Alright, love.” Tully bent down to murmur in his ear. A warning before he rose onto his knees and rested very lightly on top of him. Here his long legs were an advantage. He could settle as close as possible without pressing down too hard on Juice's back. “Tell me if you need me to move, baby.” He waited til he got the nod, wanting as always now to make sure Juice was comfortable with the touch and closeness.

Tully slipped his hands beneath Juice's shirt, the movement slow and deliberate as he felt each of the muscles of his back. No pressure yet, only a little bit of firmness so he didn't tickle. He brought them down, and then back up. “So tight.” He could feel it even without pressing down, and Juice's position on the hard floor had his spine popping a little as it settled into a neutral position. Tully brought his hands high again. The knots beneath Juice's shoulder blades were his target to start with, and then he meant to proceed downwards. By the time he got to Juice's ass, he wanted the boy to be completely boneless with relaxation.

“You say that a lot.” Juice huffed with a small laugh, breathing against the pain; he must have had plenty of backrubs before this. Tully wasn't even going that hard. Juice was just that knotted up. Even after what Tully had done earlier. “Frank always said the same thing too.”

Frank? Tully stopped. “Massage therapist,” Juice quickly clarified and then blushed, “Faggy, ain't it?” He sighed and moved his head so that his face was down instead of to the side. Talking about something hard, then. Juice always spoke easier when he wasn't looking at anyone directly. Tully started to rub again, trying to remove the new tension. “Me and Chibs. We went. Couple of times a month.” Another sigh, and he continued mumbling into the floor. “Just the two of us. Leave th' shit behind, take care of ourselves.”

A quiet hiss, and Tully focused on the spot that he'd touched last. “Breathe, baby.” Tully kept his voice low as he rubbed with his thumbs. He didn't respond until Juice did as he was ordered. “Told you before, beautiful. Taking care of yourself isn't gay, it's because you deserve it.” Tully waited again as he kept rubbing. Finally the knot released and the boy groaned. “Why did you stop?”

Juice panted with relief while Tully moved down. He hadn't realized the boy was in such pain; he would have done this sooner. It had to be worse here; where the ribs had been broken, where he'd been kicked in the back and-- Tully made himself stop thinking about all the injuries he'd sustained in the beating. His boy had nearly recovered entirely from them, at least the physical ones. “No time.” Another groan, but not the good kind. “E-easy.” Tully saw Juice's jaw working.

He pulled back a little on the pressure. “No time?” Tully didn't quite believe it and his voice mirrored the disbelief. He didn't linger on the sore spots anyway, just remained long enough to warm the muscles with his own body heat and maybe relax them some with the lighter touch.

Juice didn't respond until Tully slid slightly lower. Thinking, or maybe recovering from the pain, Tully wasn't sure. “Couldn't make time.” He'd turned his face again, so maybe it wasn't as hard as it was before to talk. Tully was the only one listening, after all. “All the bad shit, after Abel was kidnapped. And with th' cartel and after.” Juice shuddered and Tully stopped again. But he thought better of that. It helped to keep the boy grounded. He made small circles with his thumbs on either side of his spine, fingers resting on his floating ribs. “We just couldn't-- we stopped doing things as a club. Like not Club stuff but. Like dinner all together. Or riding for riding's sake. Stuff for Charming like fundraisers and family days or whatever.” Juice sighed so deeply that it almost moved Tully a bit. “Ancient history, I guess.”

“Just history, baby. _Your_ history, you're allowed to miss it. I told you that. Would things have been different, if you had your massages and dinners? Maybe, but you can't change it. You can only take care of you going forward.” Tully smirked as he slid himself downward to squeeze Juice's backside. Only once though as he returned to his previous position, finding big knots at the very base of his spine. “What a nice ass.” Tully couldn't help but growl before he continued. “I'll be happy to volunteer to be your masseuse going forward.” It warmed him deep in his chest, to be able to take care of his boy in yet another way. And this was good for himself, too, if he thought about it. Helping his boy was purely for him, not for the Brotherhood or Will or anyone.

Juice laughed. “Massage therapist. Frank would take such offense calling him the other thing.” A soft air kiss from the young man that Tully returned. “Thank you, Papi. I'll take you up on that. You're so good.” Another laugh. “Practice much?” Juice took another slow breath as Tully kneaded harder.

“Not nearly enough. Might have to get that book for more.”

“Oh no. How terrible.” Juice was deadpan, dry and sarcastic and Tully laughed again. “Right there.” His boy didn't squirm, much. Just groaned again as Tully's fingers kept working their magic. If he accidentally drifted down to squeeze Juice's backside, then Juice wasn't complaining or telling. “God you're good.”

Another squeeze in thanks and appreciation. “I'm not God, but you're welcome.”

“Don't let him tell you that, Pit.” Mickey almost teased. “He thinks he is.”

Tully shifted to flip Mickey off with one hand. “Though if you worship me I wouldn't argue.” He whispered into Juice's general vicinity so that only the boy would hear him. Tully had just about exhausted his ability to be _nice_ and only touch his boy appropriately. And Juice was clearly enjoying the more risque rubbing; shifting to adjust his hips more frequently. “You okay, baby?” Tully started to massage that perfect ass in earnest, moving to let Juice feel his own growing erection. Only a moment though before he removed himself. Humping the boy would look bad even before bed.

Juice shivered and tried to rise up to Tully's movement regardless, but the other man was still on top of him. “'M fine.” He was soft and needy at the same time. Not quite as boneless as Tully had wanted him to be by this point, but close enough. There was certainly still one bone in his body, judging by the low key squirming. “Tully?” Hesitant, and Tully eased up with his groping. “Can we...c'n we jus' cuddle now? I mean maybe not just cuddle but...”

God, so cute. Tully pent over to kiss the nape of his neck. “Of course.” He rolled off of Juice now, but pressed close to keep them both on the floor for a moment “Don't know about you but I need a second.” He chuckled deeply into his love's ear. Juice shook with the sound and then nodded before he turned for a kiss. Of course Tully granted it to him, but only a brief peck. They were trying to get unaroused, after all.

Tully had the strongest desire to stroke Juice's back, so he did. The boy just sighed with pleasure and kept looking at Tully with a dopey happy grin. Even as they'd spoken of stressful things, his boy was bouncing right back faster and faster. He might be almost normal quicker than they expected, which was nothing but good in this place. “Ever work like that for you?” His boy had been thinking and he spoke without giving Tully context about what, so the shot-caller had to wait for him to continue. “Something bad happens and all you wanna do is be close to another person? Someone you love?” Juice looked ahead for a long moment, and then back to Tully. “Does to me. Did. When I had,” he stopped briefly,”when bad things would happen within th' Club we'd just spend time together or Chibs an' I....” He trailed off, not wanting to finish but after a moment Juice half-smiled. “Like right now I wanna suck your dick an' eat your ass til sunrise. Jus' be close like that. Not just wanna, it's like I need to.” Juice blushed now deeply red and hid his face.

He stroked, lightly squeezing the back of his neck now and rubbing his shoulders. If Juice kept talking like that they'd be on the floor a lot longer still. He'd guessed right before, then, about Juice needing to be close after bad news. “Waiting human physical contact his perfectly normal, sweet boy, after something unpleasant.” Tully leaned in. “We will cuddle, just give me a chance to get up and not give everyone an indecent show, mm?” He nuzzled and gave Juice another kiss, this time on the cheek. “And giving pleasure makes both receiver _and_ giver feel good. It's not selfish to want that. To feel good when you're upset.”

Juice nodded, and sighed before he shifted. “Now, are we good for a minute?” Tully hadn't really moved his face from Juice's cheek, just because _he_ wanted closeness as well. “I'm really quite too old to be laying on the floor like this.” His boy's lips twitched in a smile before he shifted a little away from Tully. “Of course saying I'm old makes you laugh.” Tully himself was smiling though, so Juice merely pushed himself up like he had before dinner and crawled to the bed. As he passed Tully he wiggled his hips, once more teasing. Anything to get his friend's hurt off of his mind, or maybe other people from his past that he couldn't not think of. Tully reached and swatted Juice's backside. Not hard, of course, and not angry. Playful, more to make noise than anything else. “Brat.” Tully growled as he himself got up, a bit like a great lion or tiger. He liked that idea, for this place. Large and warm and protective of his sweet love, unlike the ancient, amoral shark that was the shot-caller part of himself. Tully could even passably purr, given a minute to warm up. With a yelp, though not of fear or pain Juice laid in their bunk, scooting right up against the wall so that Tully had plenty of room.

Tully crawled into the bed after him and pressed his chest against Juice's back. “I'm your brat.” Juice chuckled as he rose his head for Tully to slide his arm beneath. Once settled, Juice sighed and spoke again. “Thank you. F'r the backrub.”

He wrapped his other arm around Juice; he'd grown comfortable with this position, sleeping protective around his beloved. Tully banished the thought that appeared in his mind, that eventually he'd have to get used to sleeping alone again. Simply kissed the back of Juice's neck, his whole body melded with his own. “You're welcome.” Juice didn't sit still for too long, and he pressed his backside on Tully's groin, which responded just about immediately. “Oh, baby boy.” He couldn't help the moan right into Juice's scalp, and without really thinking about it Tully's arm slid downward to stroke Juice's cock through his pants. “Been so good today, you know that?” The skin under his lips warmed as he pressed his palm to the bulge; Juice blushing with the compliment and with Tully's touch. “So strong, even though the day was tough.”

Tully squeezed that firm shaft getting Juice to moan again, and the boy ground fiercely on his cock. “Sp-spent it mostly sleepin'.” Juice mumbled and his hands moved trying to get at Tully's skin now. “Lemme take care of you.” The shot-caller didn't stop Juice from tugging at his shirt and exposing Tully's pale skin.

“Not til the goddamned lights are out, Jesus Christ Tully. Didn't you _just_ say you weren't giving everyone a show?” Mickey had crossed from annoyance to anger, and Juice fairly wilted in Tully's arms. “More than you already did, anyway. Fuckin' fag and your spic housewife, I'm gonna smuggle a camera in here and sell your sick shit on the internet.”

The shot-caller was about to bluntly remind Mickey that he was still second, not the boss, but Juice tugged at the fabric of his shirt. Tully looked between them and the boy was white knuckling it, not in fear for himself but to keep Tully from exploding. “S-sorry Mickey.” He spoke up before Tully did. “Shitty day for you too.” Juice squirmed and sat up just a little, which made Tully have to as well before he lost his grip on his boy entirely. “Sorry, brot--” He meant the apology of course but the endearment slipped. Nuke hadn't minded, but Mickey was far more selective. Juice took a breath. “We'll keep our shit together.” That was a better thing to say than apologizing yet again. Mickey liked seeing things _done_ not just said. Tully was the same way, really. He didn't like to talk a big game. Juice shifted back downward, waiting for the other man to come with. Tully did, but not before giving Mickey a healthy glare. A promise they were going to talk about this later; Mickey just returned it.

The older man snuggled around Juice again. They laid there, still, once again making an effort to not become too aroused with just being in each others company. Juice huffed, suddenly. “Didn' tell you about what Will an' I talked about this morning.”

That really was only this morning; it felt like much longer than that. “Mm yes. What was it you talked about that made my dearly beloved brother threaten my kneecaps?”

Juice giggled, and Tully rolled his eyes again even if Juice couldn't see it. “We talked about riding, mostly. He called Harleys overpriced and their riders nothing more than rubs.”

“Rubs?”

“Rich urban bikers. Dads with too much money and not enough sense going through a midlife crisis, who want some way to feel badass on the weekends.” Juice scoffed, but then continued. “Which, you know. Ain't me. He was jus' trying to get my goat. Not like I've never heard it before. I told him that, too.”

“And _I_ told him not to scare you.” Tully was going to have a few strong words for Will in his next letter.

Juice shrugged and shifted to press closer onto Tully. Make the other man squeeze him, which Tully did without argument. He loved his brother but he could be contrary for the sake of it. “He didn't. Like I said, not like I haven't heard it before. He conceded when I pointed out I wasn't exactly gonna be rich when I got out of this stint. And that my bike was _green_. Hardly badass.” The laugh that Juice let out was less positive, more dry. It made Tully kiss his neck again. “Outright asked me, and like I said this is a quote if I was 'a tart who sought my dear brother's wealth even in this gloomy place'. Does he always talk like that?”

“I did tell you he was a poet.”

As if that explained everything. To be fair, in Will's case it did and Juice just chuckled. “So I told him no, that I love you and you make me happy.” More blushing from his boy and Tully kissed him again, this time on his cheek. “Which, you know... I haven't felt that in a long time.” Juice's voice went quiet. “I told him that. Kinda didn't realize it til a little after, I basically told him all the shit that's happened and what kind of a person I was and how you've made me so much better. Even as short a time as we've had together, you know?” Juice sniffled and took a shaky breath. “H-he said that you were better too, and that he'd make sure you didn't jus' dump me all of a sudden. Cuz I made you that way.” A small laugh. “Which is I guess where the kneecaps came from. He really cares 'bout you, you know that?”

Tully hugged his boy, nodding without speaking for a moment. “I do. And I him.” Now he just felt the need to nuzzle Juice, so he did. “And he'll be there too for you, if you need. In here or on the outside.”

Juice moved, turning around in Tully's arms to face him. He couldn't lay like this for long, but he'd do it when needed. Or when he felt it necessary anyway. They'd soon have to get up and ready for bed anyway, so this was fine. “Thank you.” Brown eyes looked into Tully's hazel, intoxicating and almost suffocating in their gratitude and love. Tully couldn't get enough and he held Juice's gaze. He knew what his boy couldn't say; that he was going to need friends on the outside that weren't affiliated with the Club. Will was a good start. Juice tilted his head up and kissed his lips, the smallest peck that promised more later. “He kept callin' me princess though.”

Now Tully felt him pout and he had to laugh. He kissed his boy's nose before he hauled himself out of bed. “I know, but he doesn't give nicknames to people he doesn't like.”

Juice followed him off the bed and they both started to change into their pajamas. Tully watched as Juice started to undress. His boy was definitely less stiff, more fluid in his movement than even earlier in the day. The massage had done something good for him and Tully warmed with it. Now he _had_ to get that book again. Juice brushed his teeth, rubbing his face after he was done and staring into the mirror. “Be good to shave.” He mumbled as he stepped from the sink to let Tully use it. “Head's a mess.” He sighed before he sat back down on his bunk. Juice still hadn't removed Tully's shirt and it was clearly a security blanket as much as any child might use. Tully was just fine with that, he thought as he finished what he was doing at the sink, and sat beside him. “Maybe I'll get time to go to the barber.”

“Not alone.” Tully pulled him close and kissed that fuzzy head. Good for his boy to get out, even briefly, and better that he had the idea on his own.

Juice nodded. “Course not.” He stretched and looked up at Tully. “Lay down? Please?” Almost immediately after Tully did so the lights shut off. “Of course.” Juice chuckled as he rubbed his ass onto Tully's groin; restarting what they'd been forced to abort earlier. “C'n we now, Papi?” That damn begging, kept quiet to not bother anyone.

Tully wrapped his arms around Juice as he had before. “I don't know. Can you keep quiet?” He smirked; they both knew the answer. He nibbled at Juice's ear before he nipped it more roughly. The hickey he'd tried to suck last night on the back of his boy's neck hadn't shown up enough to get anyone's comments. Tully was going to have to remedy that. Juice gasped as Tully nipped that spot again, pressing onto his rapidly hardening cock with the hand not pillowed under Juice's head. That arm would go around the boy's neck soon, whenever Juice got too loud. Or if he just seemed to need it. “I love you, baby boy.”

Juice sighed in response, shifting his own hands to find Tully's body, find his needy cock more accurately. “Love you too.” Barely whispered, wary of bothering anyone else on the cell block again. He gave a gentle squeeze of Tully's shaft through his pants, rubbing and teasing as much as Tully was doing to him.

But Tully didn't want to be distracted, not again. He just wanted to get his boy off, and get off himself afterward. He quite liked that order of things. “Be good, baby.” Tully rocked his hips to emphasize the order and shake Juice's hands away. It had the secondary effect of pressing on the boy's ass to make them both moan. Juice did pull his hands away, reaching to fist one in the sheets and the other to tangle in Tully's clothes. “Good boy.” Tully finally shifted to wrap his arm around Juice's throat, tightening for a short moment while he slipped his fingers under the waistband of Juice's pants. When had his boy gotten his underwear off? He couldn't help the deep chuckle at the discovery he made. “You naughty thing.” The good kind of naughty, which Tully emphasized with a slow, slow stroke. The boy tried to speak, so Tully released him.

“Only yours.” Juice shuddered as he worked to keep from bucking into Tully's touches.

“Just mine.” Tully murmured and nibbled Juice's ear. “Mine to hold, and touch, hmm? Fuck you with my fingers again? Do you want to do all of those things tonight?”

The boy nodded and Tully slipped his fingers in between Juice's ass cheeks, lightly playing with the tight ring of muscle there. “Want your cock, Tully...” He whined softly, arching his back to bring his ass even closer. He had to make sure that he didn't press in despite Juice's near demands to.

Tully had to sigh and kiss the back of his scalp again. “I don't want to hurt you, baby boy.” Not physically, not emotionally and if the truth were told he was hesitating for himself as well. If he hurt Juice, again, he'd never forgive himself. “What did I say before, hm?” He started rubbing Juice's hole to get the boy to moan, and once he did Tully reached for the lube.

“Couple more weeks.” Juice squirmed in his arms though. “Please, Papi please.”

Juice wasn't trying to buck him off, but Tully did have to move to keep from falling off. “Shhh, baby boy. Do I have to tie you up? Wouldn't be the first time I used pillowcases for that.” The boy stopped squirming, but only to turn his head ever so slightly. There was a defiant spark deep inside of his eyes with that mischievous smile, and Tully couldn't help but growl. “Do you disbelieve me, baby boy?”

“How c'n you tie someone up with a pillowcase?” Juice retorted, though soft-voiced still. “I don't think you can.” Tully could see him smirking even in the dark.

A defiant challenge and Tully pulled the pillow out from beneath Juice's head, releasing his hold from Juice's throat for now to do so. He yanked the actual pillow out of the case, tossing it up onto his bed so that Juice wouldn't be bothered by it on the floor. Once again he wished his bunk wasn't above him; it was much easier to do these things when he didn't have a roof. Alas, but more of thise sort of thing could be part of his future plans if Juice wanted. He shifted to get to his knees, and immediately Juice's hands come up to lace his fingers behind his head after he rolled to his back. “If you say stop, I will.” Tully waited until Juice nodded once, acknowledging what he said before tugging the boy's hands in front of him. It was a quick movement to wrap Juice's wrists once with the fabric, tucking the ends in and making a very secure little set of cuffs. It looked like a lark's-head knot, but wasn't; if Tully let go Juice could simply slip out of them. Then with only one hand Tully raised Juice's arms above his head, careful to not yank too much. “See. Pillowcase.” He bent down and kissed his boy hungrily, free hand sliding down that taut belly. “Can do it sticking your arms inside there too but it requires a little more stretch than you're capable of. For now.” Tully traced his boy's hips, teasing the V that they made to his straining cock. “Fuck, baby boy.” What he wouldn't give to see better, to have bright light shining down on him. Eventually they would have it. This time their sense of touch would have to do as a substitute. Without letting go Tully straddled his beloved's hips, bending his head so he could fit under his bunk.

Juice panted and squirmed again but with Tully on top holding his hands he was thoroughly stuck. Tully ground his hips on Juice's, moaning at the hardness there. “Do you like this?” He moved enough to be able to whisper in Juice's ear, glad for his height once more. Checking in with his boy, but really he didn't need it. Juice nodded and was still panting, a soft whine rising up in his throat. “Shh, shh shh.” The boy's trust, his power over Juice made him just that much harder and Tully rocked back and forth again, a little more roughly. Grinding and rubbing them together through the fabric. “Don't wake anyone up baby.”

Tully tugged his pants down again, as they'd slid up when he was adjusting, and started to pull at Juice's. Difficult for Tully one-handed but Juice lifted his hips a little to help, hissing at the brief ache the position put him in. “Mmm, so strong.” Tully murmured as Juice moved him upwards with no problem, leaving him to get Juice's pants down enough to expose his cock. He gripped the two of them together, stroking both at once. “Ohh, yes.” Tully moaned and Juice shuddered again, squirming to try and get out of the makeshift cuffs. “Ah ahh baby, let Papi take care of you.” Tully was still whispering as he started to rock a little faster, heat pooling in his groin.

He yanked on the pillowcase to still Juice's fighting. “Papi's makin' you feel good, shh. Thinking about my cock in your ass, huh? You're so tight, baby, I can't wait to be inside you.” Tully smothered Juice's mouth in a kiss before the boy could get any louder and disturb the others. He thrust again, hand holding both of their shafts together before he stilled and flicked his wrist instead. Of course catching the sensitive spots they both had on their tips.

Juice broke the kiss this time, panting as he tilted his chin up. Exposing his throat. Tully knew in that instant what Juice wanted but he wanted to hear it. Needed to. Juice just knew _that_ it seemed, and he mewled as he twisted his hands to hold the pillowcase. Taking over for Tully in a silent promise that he wouldn't move. “Please.”

Tully as usual couldn't deny his sweet, quiet begging. “Don't let go.” He whispered into Juice's ear and shifted up onto his elbows, releasing the pillowcase so that now he had both hands to use. Tully stroked Juice's cheeks, and gave him a kiss before he wrapped his fingers around Juice's throat. Both hands, this time, and Juice's cock twitched against his own giving him a clue as to how he felt about the idea. Tully thrust and rubbed, chuckling. “So naughty.” He shuddered himself with the sensation, and then finally squeezed just a little bit. Just enough to give the head rush that Juice so craved. It gave him just enough of that power too, the one that Tully needed. “Fuck, baby.” He started to rock his hips, watching as best he could in the dim light how Juice's eyes glazed a bit with the pleasure. “Papi's gonna make you cum without touching your cock again.”

The boy nodded and Tully couldn't help the small _oof_ that came out of him as Juice wrapped his legs around his hips. His boy wanted, and wanted bad. Tully gave, started rocking quick and hard and almost slapping skin against skin like he might if he was inside his boy. He squeezed his boy's throat and released it in turn, at least until it was clear that Juice was right there on the edge. He was too and Tully gripped their cocks while his other hand remained and tightened around Juice's throat. It was power and it was love and Tully let out a soft breathy moan. “Cum for me, love. Cum for Papi.” As soon as Tully said it Juice did, tensing and twitching powerfully like always. Tully followed right after him, both of their loads coating each other's cocks.

Tully let go, and just about collapsed onto Juice while he let the pleasure of his orgasm wash through him and away in slow waves. He tucked hands under Juice's head, nuzzling him for a kiss while his boy released the pillowcase and started to rub Tully's back. Even shyly petting his ass making an electric tingle each time he did it. “You win.” Juice whispered into his ear, chuckling a little. “C'n tie someone up with a pillowcase.”

“Of course I do.” Tully kissed him then. “I love you.” He was about to get up but Juice just held him fast. “Mm?”

“Just a coupla minutes.” The boy nuzzled him, and returned the kiss. “Won' let you fall asleep, promise.”

It made Tully smile; as always Juice was caring for him, knowing that Tully didn't like to fall asleep in messed clothes. But Juice wanted to cuddle, so cuddle they did. Murmuring sweet things to each other until he just couldn't stand it anymore and got up to wipe them both down. He even handed Juice another pair of pants to change into, but the boy shook his head and tugged Tully back to lay on top of him. “You okay like this?” Tully knew that Juice was still sore. His boy just nodded and together they settled on the bed. “Soon, baby, I promise.”

“I know.” Juice was sleepy as he wrapped his arms tighter around Tully. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”


	4. Chapter 4

Tully woke up, tangled together with Juice like they always seemed to now. Juice was a little sticky, of course, but he hadn't seemed uncomfortable beyond needing to stay close to Tully. He had a shower coming to him this afternoon anyway. That reminded Tully, he needed to check and make sure there weren't any more _scheduling errors_ this week. And make his own arrangements for the meeting with Lucky-- Happy, he should at least try this once-- this evening. Tully shifted, releasing his grip on the young man. Juice, on the other hand, squirmed even in his sleep to hold him even tighter. “Shh, baby boy.” Tully murmured and kissed Juice's forehead. Face to face like this, Juice was going to be sore on his bad side but he'd been so comforted being held that way that Tully hadn't argued. “I'm not going far.” Not that he could but it seemed to soothe Juice in his semi-conscious state, at least enough for him to let go of Tully.

He planted another kiss on the boy's head and got out of the bunk. Tully checked that the letter to the lawyer was gone; he'd left it on the bars sometime before he'd passed out. It was, which was good and now all he had to do was wait for the answer. Might be a while, he understood that his lawyer had more important things to take care of. Tully would hassle him more if he didn't get a response after a few months. He stretched and moved to the toilet with only a little stiffness. Smaller than a twin bed for two grown men could get uncomfortable but they made it work because the alternative was a crappy night's sleep for the both of them.

Finished, Tully washed his hands and brushed his teeth. As he did he wandered to the desk; the list was still there tucked in the poetry book. He'd hand that to Mickey at breakfast. He had a feeling he was getting a search today sometime and he had to get that hot potato away before the administration found it. Fortunately it was almost done; they could get the few remaining people today, maybe even before breakfast. Tully spat and rinsed, and padded towards the cell door. “Froggy.”

“Oui?” The other man was an early riser, a fact which Tully was grateful for.

“After dinner, I have a meeting.” Less fortunate, Froggy had a difficult time with his English first thing in the morning before his first cup of coffee. Tully had to speak plainly for him to understand. “Need you with me.”

A moment while Froggy translated mentally. “Oui, monsieur.”

“Meeting, Tully?” McManus wandered up to his cell, raising an eyebrow. Damn. At least it was McManus who would be trustworthy to accept whatever bullshit line Tully gave him. He'd be there, too, if Tully requested it. He just needed to ask right; give McManus some plausible deniability if his superiors asked him what was going on.

He smiled, leaning on the bars casually. “Mmhm.” Tully thought fast. “Thinking of starting a painting club. New interest.” Not his best work but he'd been short on time. “Froggy wanted to learn. Nuke was interested too but....” Tully gestured disappointed, and then looked sheepish. “I forgot to put it on the schedule.”

McManus saw through it all but he rolled his eyes in exasperation anyway. “I'll cover you this time, Tully. Where is it?” Asking to be able to put something in the book, and so he could give Tully even more backup. The shot-caller didn't even have to ask.

That was why he liked the man. Aside from his beliefs; he was actually useful without Tully having to beg or bribe him. Well, at least not every time. Tully lowered his voice. “Machine shop. Only room left.”

The guard stared at him, clearly annoyed, because he knew what the shot-caller meant to do. For a moment Tully thought he might interfere; McManus had to do a certain amount of proper guard duties to keep the heat off of himself. Finally though he shook his head. “Of course it is. I'll make sure it's clear.” _I'll back you up_ was what he really meant.

Tully was getting very, very lucky. He was going to have to lose sometime; Tully just needed to prepare for it. He'd rather minimize the chances, but that was impossible. “After dinner? What is that, seven?” Nothing ever came free, and McManus was asking for money this time. Seventy. Fifty was his usual for this sort of work plus extra for the rush and danger.

“Mmhm.” He'd pay, it wasn't McManus' fault on the timing. Really Tully would have been willing to go up to one hundred, just to make sure the meeting would have happened, when it needed to happen.

“We'll come find you and Froggy then. For your painting club.” McManus rolled his eyes again and patted the bars. “Any other last minute _meetings_?” The guard practically made the air quotes, his voice was so dripping with sarcasm.

Might as well warn him now, Tully figured. “One tomorrow but I think Luis booked the day room.” Tully smirked. “Continuing meeting of the racial harmony club.” McManus just rolled his eyes again and moved off. Tully smirked; that was the general name for shot-caller meetings, especially when Tully was involved. All the guards knew it, but somehow they never caught those same shot-callers actually planning anything they could get into trouble for.

Tully stepped from the door and was about to sit at the desk when he spotted Juice's eyes flicker with Tully's movement. He must have heard the plans for the machine shop meeting, even as Tully tried to keep quiet, judging by the fearful look in this beautiful brown eyes. The shot-caller crossed the cell and squatted by the bed, so he was face level with Juice. “Baby boy.” He stroked one cheek, and then moved his hand to catch the single tear that started to fall. Juice was more upset than Tully thought he might be, though he hadn't anticipated Juice hearing either.

“You can't.... please don't.” Tully wondered if he'd seen the note from Happy as well, or if he was just scared of Tully going to the same place. “P-please, not there.”

Tully dragged his fingers along Juice's cheekbones again. “Baby, I'm not going alone, you heard that.” He was only answered with a sniffle. “I will come back in one piece, before you go to sleep. I promise.” He didn't say such things very often, if at all. It simply wasn't always true and it wasn't fair to Juice to get his hopes up. But the boy needed it, it seemed, and Tully had every confidence that he would. Happy was doing this on his own, Tully guessed, otherwise he wouldn't have used the librarian the way he did. Therefore it would be a three on one fight that Happy was guaranteed to lose. “I love you. No more tears, now. Okay?” If need be Tully could sit on the bed and finish the list to keep Juice out of the dark place in his head.

He was, however, always astounded by Juice's reactions to things. The boy just stared at him, and then rolled over to turn his back to Tully, clutching his pillow. Tully clearly heard another sniffle buried into it, and a shudder wracked through Juice's form. Some part of him got angry, wanted to grab Juice and pull him around, demand attention and answers. But he knew that wasn't going to fly, it would only serve to upset his boy more. Patience, Juice would come around. “Okay sweet boy,” Tully kept his voice even, “be right here when you need me.” Finally he stood up and instead of stalking away like he would have otherwise done Tully bent over and placed the lightest kiss on his cheek before he moved to sit back at the desk. He knew Juice would need him eventually, but he also needed his space. Tully wasn't entirely sure why Juice had turned on him; maybe it was a matter of Tully not backing down at his request? The older man might be more annoyed by that if he didn't understand the reasoning behind it. Asking was the only way that Juice could influence Tully's decisions about things, and to be fair to him it had worked in the past. But he had obligations, responsibilities. Soon he wouldn't, but until then Juice wasn't going to pull him away every time.

Despite himself Tully glanced at his lover before he started writing the list again. The younger man hadn't turned around, but his shoulders were a lot less tight looking and the hiccups and shuddering had stopped. He wasn't crying anymore, so Tully turned back around to his work. He didn't have too many more names to write down, and once he got into it he sort of lost track of time. Juice was safe even if he was angry, and breakfast wasn't due for another hour.

Tully was just putting the finishing translations on it when he felt a warm weight against his leg. He looked down to see that beautiful tattooed scalp; Juice was leaning on him. Not meeting his eyes, just sitting on the ground; Tully might call it clinging on anyone else. “Hey baby.” It was _definitely_ clingy when Juice wrapped his arms around Tully's calf. He'd hesitated before, but now Tully dropped his hand to pet his boy's head.

“I'm sorry.” Juice flicked his gaze up, and Tully caught a quick glimpse of those big brown eyes, once more red-rimmed and watery. “I,” he paused and looked down again, “I shouldn't've said you c-can't do anything... I'm sorry.” Juice buried his face once more, nuzzling Tully's knee like a cat might.

His poor boy. Whatever anger Tully felt vanished; to feel so bad he had to lower himself like this spoke so much for the bullshit of his past. Which one of them told him he couldn't say such a thing? Or what had he internalized that he couldn't criticize a leader? He knew what he needed to say to get Juice to listen to anything he said. “Shh, you're forgiven baby. But I'm not mad, Juice.” That got the boy to look up again, thankfully. “You're worried about me, and I appreciate that.” Tully wished he could scoot the chair back, pull Juice onto his lap. He had to settle for slipping his hands under the boy's chin. “I do. You can tell me you worry about me anytime, my pretty Puerto Rican. Or tell me when you think an idea of mine is stupid. Everyone else does.”

That got a tiny smile from Juice. “I-I wouldn't do that. You don't have st-stupid ideas.” He relaxed fractionally, which was more than enough for Tully. “Jus' ones that scare me. I-I can't lose you.”

Tully moved one hand to keep petting the boy. “You won't, not tonight. I promise, Juice, I'll be safe.” Finally, finally his beloved nodded and sighed, closing his eyes and leaning into the touches. “I'll read Mr. Tolkien to you tonight? Mickey has suddenly taken an interest in Ms. Bronte.” Tully used his free hand to finish the list easily. Juice huffed and then whined as Tully folded the paper and stuck it in the poetry book. “Comfortable down there?” Really he couldn't have been; it was a very low desk and Tully's legs took up a lot of the space. Juice may have been sitting more to the side, but there still wasn't enough room. “Or would you rather sit on the bed while we wait for breakfast?”

Juice first shrugged his shoulders, not looking intent on moving from his clinging spot, but then he nodded and backed away. He gave that tiny smile again as he stood. “I'll find us a better desk.” The small smile morphed into the naughty one for a brief moment before he went to brush his teeth.

The other man let out an internal sigh of relief. Maybe it wasn't exactly healthy to switch so fast to this kind of sexual talk, that maybe they should give it a rest for the day, but Tully was far from perfect. In fact he was more like a teenaged boy in that respect. “Mmm?” He sat on the bed, fluffing his pillow while he watched his boy. “Tell me.”

Until he rinsed, Juice didn't answer. His eyes just shone, clearly pleased he'd been able to make his Papi happy at him again. Not that Tully was unhappy, but he understood how Juice thought. “Mmhm. 'S not big enough.” The younger man glanced towards the cell door and turned slightly, so out in the hallway couldn't see his front before he pulled off the tank top. Less about showing off his body to Tully, and more about keeping the eyes of the others off of him. Tully still liked the view. He tossed the shirt in the hamper, and took one longing look toward where Tully kept clean ones in their shared chest of drawers.

Spoiled boy. But the shot-caller really couldn't deny him after he'd given him a scare. “Juice,” and those pretty eyes were on him again, “go ahead. But you're not telling me what that means, and you should be.” He gestured towards the drawer and the smile he got in return was brilliant.

“Thank you.” Juice very nearly whispered as he got into the drawer and pulled another one of Tully's shirts over his head. He'd have to get more if this was going to be a thing. Not a big deal. He crossed his legs and waited for Juice to start speaking again. It took him a minute before Juice sat back down, now fully dressed. “'S not big enough for a teacher's desk.” The boy leaned on him, prompting Tully to wrap his arms around his shoulders. “Or a boss's desk. You know. F'r naughty students. Or under the desk secretarial work.” His boy looked up at him, grinning again. “'S what I mean. I was alright just sittin' with you though.”

“Mmm. I see.” Yeah, that went exactly how he thought it was going to go, and Tully's mind supplied him helpfully with the mental image of Juice in a schoolgirl outfit. No spankings, of course, but Juan Carlos would certainly want to get an A in Mr. Tully's class. “I'll keep that in mind, baby boy.” He gave Juice another squeeze, pleased to see the smile was still there. “Ready for breakfast? It's almost time.”

Another nod from the boy and he stood up, helping Tully up as well mostly so he could pull the taller man into a hug. Juice was clearly begging for it, so Tully easily gave into him. He pressed a kiss to Juice's forehead too, for good measure, as though promising to Juice that he was going to be just fine. The cell doors opened and they were about to step out when Juice turned back suddenly. Tully tilted his head confused for a moment, before he saw what Juice was doing. “Damn thing ain't workin' right.” Juice slipped the lock into his pocket, arming himself as he'd been instructed. Speaking aloud in case there were any guards listening, questioning his reasons for taking the lock. He even glanced at the poetry book, and then he grabbed it. Tully was grateful once more for the boy's intelligence; he knew Tully needed it and didn't question why. Juice easily tucked it into his pants, and fell in beside Tully as usual. The shot-caller again noticed that everyone else was equally armed. Good, they were ready for whatever else would come their way, or Tully's. It wasn't _unusual_ that everyone else was armed when he wasn't but he always felt naked regardless.

Juice was still a little tense with Froggy behind him instead of Nuke, but Tully could only tell because he knew what to look for. From the outside, the young man was equally as hard-faced and rough as the rest of them. The cafeteria was mostly empty; the administration had apparently decided on having them be sat down early. Just in case they'd plotted revenge overnight? Foolish, in Tully's opinion. Too much heat right now, they'd take that revenge later when there was less scrutiny. But the admin wasn't known for it's intelligence being correct or for using common sense. They went through the breakfast line quicker than normal. At least that was one positive thing to this whole disaster.

They settled at their usual spots and Tully watched as the others in the prison population came in. He scanned to see if he could tell what _they_ were plotting, nibbling idly at his buttered toast while he did so. “Appointments?” Everything had to appear as normal as possible to outsiders. Tully felt the book slide from Juice at his side to his own lap. Without looking he checked the inside cover. The list was still there; Juice hadn't lost it. “Good boy.” Tully muttered before he passed the book along to Mickey. The other man grumbled, but took it anyway.

“So boss, what's the plan?” Dave, again. Ambitious kid; Tully wondered if Mickey was taking note. He could probably be pushed and molded into something useful given the chance.

“ _I'm_ going back home. I've got reading to do.” He responded low. Best not to tell everyone in creation his plans. “I'm sure you have plans to attend to, mm?” Tully narrowed his eyes. “Like paying me?” He stared for a moment, until the other man audibly gulped and backed down. Tully didn't drop his gaze, just held still a moment longer before he went back to breakfast.

Next to him, Juice piped up. “Hey, if ya don't mind bein' seen with a spic, I could use a travel buddy.” He didn't speak very loudly, but it still made Tully glance at him. He so rarely offered up something outside his usual routine, the older man was curious. “I uh, gotta get my head taken care of.” He rolled one shoulder in that shrug he did. “My hair. After the shower.” A very brief smirk crossed Juice's face, and then went away. “Exfoliation first, then shaving. Makes for a smooth look.”

Dave just blinked at him as Tully couldn't help but chuckle and pat that aforementioned fuzzy scalp. Only the once, though Juice rose up into the touch. “Exf-- seriously? Christ I'm surrounded by fa--”

“Consider very carefully what you're about to say.” Tully dropped his voice low, and the rest of the Brotherhood went still. Juice suppressed a shudder next to him, though the shot-caller couldn't tell what _kind_ of shiver it was. The guy shut his mouth, and thankfully really did seem to think about his actions. Tully leaned back a little to let Juice handle it again.

Juice got a handle on whatever had made him shiver, and he shrugged again. “'S cool, man. I can go another day too.” He didn't even seem to let Dave's aborted mouthiness get to him. “I don't--”

“Dumbass, go with the housewife.” Mickey spoke, putting his own order tone to his voice. Tully let him; it wasn't abnormal and it was just part of the transition really. “You're shaggy too.” He gave Dave a significant look, that Tully couldn't 100% read out of the corner of his eye. He didn't need to figure it out, because Mickey continued, “And maybe he can give you some pointers about opening your mouth the _right_ way instead of the wrong one.”

There was a beat, and the rest of the table burst out into laughter. Even Juice couldn't keep the twitch of a smile off of his mouth. Dave looked at them in shock, and then slumped forward in clear defeat. “Alright, alright. I'll go with you. After shower?”

Juice nodded and stuffed another bite of breakfast into his mouth. “Thanks, man. Appreciate it, stubble drives me bugfuck.” Dave just grunted in response, and Tully was about to comment on his rudeness _again_ but Juice spoke first. “Should be back by dinner, I'll buy ya dessert too.”

“You don't have to bribe me.”

“It's not bribery, I'm not trying to get you to something illegal.” Tully heard his words coming out of Juice's mouth, and he chuckled at it. Juice squeezed his thigh briefly, acknowledgment that he'd at least gotten that lesson. “It's _thanks._ ” He flitted his hands, much like Will would do. Another thing the young man had picked up, before he went ahead and drained his glass. There was a cobbler as well, which Juice dug into hungrily.

He didn't say anything more, so Tully took over conversation. Redirected it to something less fight-starting or shaming. “The rest of you?”

Most mumbled their plans to go outside, to work out and the rest of breakfast went uneventfully, without appointments this time around. Juice considered going outside, the way he looked towards the others, but in the end he followed Tully back to their cell. Perhaps saving his mental energy for the second try at a shower and then the barber visit. Tully didn't mind; he loved the boy tucked against his chest while they worked on one thing or the other in between meals. He'd be able to spend more of the day with Juice and for that he was quite glad as well. Part of him wanted to tell Juice of his retirement now, but he refrained from it difficult though it was. Soon.

Once out of sight of the guards Tully felt Juice slip his fingers into his hand. Shy, but needy all the same and trusting too. The shot-caller just couldn't help but squeeze for a moment before he adjusted his grip and laced his fingers with Juice's instead. More like equals, versus Tully being over him. It felt right that way. They could only remain holding hands for only a short period of time, just down the hall of their cell block. Tully followed Juice into their cell. The door shut, and they both let out the minor tension that always accompanied being outside of here. It wasn't realistic of a thought, but Tully would be alright with rarely leaving his cell once he retired. It was safe here.

Juice grabbed his computer books almost immediately but Tully stood a moment trying to decide what to do. “Letter on th' bars.” Tully looked at him, and then where they stuck the daily mail. “Girlfriend?” Indeed it was. That would give Tully something to do, then. He grabbed it and nodded, tearing it open. “Never understood those people. They gotta know you're fucking with them, right?”

Tully was suddenly reminded; he wanted to reward his boy. He crossed to the bunks and pulled out a bag of skittles, setting it on Juice's lap before he went back to the desk to read his letter. “For setting that up with Dave,” Tully unfolded the paper. It wasn't scented but that wasn't unusual. Sometimes it was and he could get a pretty penny for it from the other inmates. “I doubt it. They're stupid, or they're crazy and I am cheaper than therapy.” and he couldn't help but laugh at this, “People, women. They tell me the strangest things.” Tully shook his head. “Intimate details of things they haven't told anyone else. I occasionally have to send them the 'your letter got confiscated, here's the rules' letter again because of the things they write.” He leaned back now, turning to look at Juice properly. This was good, it was normal. Just a regular conversation with his boy. Ordinary. “Like I'm _safe._ ”

“Well ya are.” Juice gave that brilliant grin, teasing before he blew Tully a kiss. The older man couldn't even be upset with him as long as it was Juice who thought him safe. “Really, though?” Juice was looking thoughtful. “Despite bein' you, with whatever crimes you didn't commit, you're really the ultimate bad boy boyfriend you can bring home t'mom and dad.”

Tully tilted his head, curious to know what Juice meant. He'd never given this much thought to his “pen pals.” They were just a means to make money and pass the time.

“Well. You're...you. The tattoos, the record... alternative views.... the whole package for some chick looking for a thrill.” Juice shrugged. “Plenty of women like that stuff. But they can stop writing to you whenever they want. They don't have t' even tell anyone what they're doing, not really. It's not like the sweetbutts who hook up with th' Sons, even that's too real for them. If someone asks, you're just someone they write to. Still thrilling, though. Dangerous. But with the safety net of you bein' here, they got power.”

He turned it around in his head. “I'm asking for money, they give. Doesn't sound like having power to me, baby boy.” Honestly Tully did understand. He just liked hearing Juice's intelligence and his reasoning. It had gone under appreciated with the Club, and Tully would not make that mistake.

“And what's stopping them from not? Yeah, you _could_ do somethin' but would you? All they lose is some fun.” Another shrug. “Someone to write to. I'm sure some of those ladies know the real score. People have weird hobbies they don't mind paying money for.” Now he grinned and looked down to his books. “The ones that believe your bullshit, they _are_ just stupid.”

Now Tully laughed along with Juice. “Indeed.” He started to read the letter out loud, putting on his best falsetto for a moment. “'Dear Tully, how I've missed hearing from you!' This woman falls into the second category. But she's reliable with the checks.”

“And that's what matters.” Juice was clearly amused at Tully's rendition of the letter-writer, before he went back to his studies. Tully stared at him, at his dedication to whatever he put his head to; it was usually a matter of convincing him that he _could_ put his head to it. That he wasn't going to fail even before he began. He was getting better at it, and Tully quietly preened in the knowledge that was due to his own efforts as much as it was Juice's hard work. After retirement, he was going to spend so much time being Juice's cheerleader. That gave him an inappropriate image of himself in a cheerleader's outfit, which made him snicker. Better to put Juice in it. Something black and red and short; poor Mina was going to get a truly filthy letter this time. To be fair, hers was pretty raunchy too and Tully liked to respond in kind. “Thanks.”

Tully didn't respond, as his boy was deep in his books that quickly. That occupied them very nearly to lunch. Juice set his books away on the desk, and Tully felt a quick peck against his cheek before his lover stepped away. The kiss made Tully turn in his seat to watch the young man. He still didn't often initiate intimacy during the day, and the cryptic thank you made Tully wonder. “Mmm?”

Juice was packing up his shower stuff, so he could easily grab it after lunch. “For lettin' me study. Wantin' me to. Not used to it, I guess.” That shoulder roll that suggested that he knew it was fucked up, but wasn't sure how to deal with it. He dropped the bundle on his bed and started pacing the cell slightly. “And, you know. Listenin' to what I have to say,” he gestured to the letter, “even if you probably know better.” He frowned slightly now, but didn't continue speaking.

His boy wouldn't stop pacing so Tully got up and got gently into his way, before his anxiety took over. And it _was_ anxiety, he was starting to do that hand-wringing thing he would occasionally do as a precursor to a panic attack. “Shh.” Tully took his chin into his own hands, making Juice look up at him. This was far from the first time he'd had to talk his beloved down; his heart ached with the fear and sadness in Juice's eyes. It seemed like nothing started this one, and he hated himself for it. “Shhh, sweet boy. Breathe.” Tully dropped his hands when Juice started groping for them, tangling their fingers together. “You're alright. I love you, Juice.” The younger man just squeezed his eyes shut and dropped his head against Tully's chest, prompting him to let his hands go and hold him. He could feel Juice trembling and panting for a good ten minutes after it started.

Juice's breathing finally slowed down and then he simply sagged against Tully. “S-sorry. Dunno...I'm sorry.”

Tully understood, so he lightly tugged Juice back to the bed to sit. Just for the few minutes they had left before lunch started. “You've been worried all day, my pretty Puerto Rican. And after lunch, you're going into more stress, and you know it.” He drew his fingers up and down Juice's back while the younger man leaned into his chest. “Worried about tonight?” He tried to sound steady about it, Juice needed that more than anything. Not the hard, shot-caller part of Tully, the one that would have mocked if it was anyone else. Tully decided to reassure him again. “I'll come home after the meeting,” here he thought a moment, “but between your shower and dinner, we will cuddle. We didn't do it enough today.” He spoke with finality, and his love just nodded against his chest. “I love you.”

“Dunno why. Ouch!”

Tully pinched the back of his neck, hard, where it was still slightly bruised from when he'd bitten him. “What was that?”

Inexplicably Juice just pressed in harder, wrapping his arms around Tully. “You love me because I deserve to be loved?” He spoke softly, and Tully started petting him again. “I love you too.”

“Good boy.” They remained just like that and Tully was warm with the weight there. “My very sweet baby boy. Who indeed deserves love, and you say good, smart things.” Tully dropped a few kisses onto Juice's scalp, and was about to get up when the cell block went quiet. “What now?”

Juice flinched, which made Tully squeeze him again. McManus cleared his throat. “Boys, small change of plans. I _know_ we said a shower after lunch, but some dumbass flooded the showers with...biological hazard.”

“Shit.” Dave, swearing. He knew where this was going, as did Tully.

“Precisely.” A dark laugh from the rest of the cell block. “Immense quantities. Dedication, actually.” More laughter, but it quickly went away. “So, probably not until tomorrow, at least. Sorry about that, can't be helped.”

The block let out a collective groan and Juice pressed his face into Tully's chest again. The shot-caller heard something from him that sounded like “'m fucking filthy'” before Juice sighed and sat up. McManus walked away down the hallway so that they could open up the cells for lunch. At least they were allowed to leave for that, it would be good for everyone. Another sigh, and Juice got up to start putting away his shower things. Tully noticed his slumped shoulders, though when Juice caught him looking he straightened up. Their cell door opened but neither made a move towards it. “Baby, do you want to go?”

Juice looked at him, not expecting what Tully had said. For a moment the older man thought that he might accept, might lay down and wallow in his bad day. That's what it had been for his sweet love after all, a day where his head convinced him of untrue things and all Tully could do is hold him and remind him that all those thoughts were lies. Finally Juice spoke, and held out his hand at the same time. “I'll go. If I stay I'll just,” a frown, “think.”

Tully understood it and took Juice's hand, levering himself up. “Good boy.” He spoke softly as he pressed a kiss onto his skin. “Let's go.” Before anyone could make a comment or the door closed, Tully tugged for the young man to follow him. Juice just clung onto his hand using him as an anchor, and Tully wouldn't make him let go if that was what kept him coming with.

Nobody said anything as they walked in their usual circle to the cafeteria, Tully and Juice still holding hands. They only separated as they actually arrived, and only when Tully got a _look_ from one of the guards. Of course he _should_ know better, but really Tully just didn't give a shit at this point. They all settled in their seats after going through the line; Juice was hanging closer than usual and he picked at his food. “Which fucker d'you think it was?” Dave, apparently ignoring the quiet mood that Tully, Juice, and the rest were in. Also, he needed to hide his shiv better; Tully could see the point of it sticking out of his shirt pocket. “Who did the do in the bathroom?” On the other hand it was a decent distraction. He kept talking, oblivious, though his voice was low this time. “Bet it was some brown fuck.”

“Most likely.” Juice spoke up, still quiet. “I mean. Three fourths of this place are some color of brown.”

Dave laughed, apparently at whatever joke he heard in his head. Tully wondered if he'd gotten his hands on something chemical; that, Mickey would have to put a stop to. “Hey, we still on for the barber even if they canceled our shower?”

Juice had gotten quiet and stared somewhere at a place six inches from his nose, so Tully nudged him. Definitely a bad day and Tully banished the thought that it was his fault. His boy startled a little but looked to Dave once he checked in with Tully. “Sorry, what?” Juice's fingers dropped to look for Tully's hand beneath the table. Of course the shot-caller couldn't just take them, but he shifted his leg so that Juice could touch it instead.

“Our ears need lowered, apparently.” Dave rolled his eyes and Tully could now see how blown the pupils were. Moron; he was definitely going to have get that under control. As as a bona fide former coke addict Tully knew that it wasn't going to work well in prison. “You're th' one who asked. Or did kissin' our boss make you forget?” He cracked up like a hyena might.

More hunching and Juice mumbled that yes, their plans were still on. He went back to eating and Tully went back to glaring at Dave. “I think you just doubled what you owe me. Your big mouth keeps getting you into trouble.”

“God _damnit._ ” Dave swore, even as he reached into his pocket to toss Tully the chits he'd been owed from before. He looked sour about it for a moment before shrugging again. “Maybe you really c'n teach me something, Spiccy. We'll talk 'bout it. After lunch okay? Wi' you? I mean we c'n go right there from here, probably not gonna be that crowded and if it is we'll come right back and--”

Juice looked up at him again, trying to smile at Dave's mile-a-minute speaking even if it wanted to make Tully jump across the table at him to shut him up. “After lunch is fine?” A pause, and Juice now looked at Tully. Confirming, asking permission. Because he needed it more than anything else, but also because Tully was the boss. Tully just nodded and Juice squeezed his thigh in thanks. “If it's too busy, we can do it tomorrow.” That hand came up again so he could finish his meal with both of them.

“Or before dinner, I bet we could get--”

“I'm busy then, man.” Juice looked hard at him and then leaned back, shrugging as he clearly had eaten his fill. Tully would bribe him with protein bars and skittles. Feed him into somnolence, before his meeting, so that Juice would actually rest instead of stay up waiting for him. He knew his love wouldn't sleep otherwise, and not even be apologetic about it. Tully felt Juice forcibly relax himself, and he leaned ever so slightly to bump shoulders with him. A similar bump to his own was the response; Juice leaning just that much closer to him. There was no way it could be mistaken for anything beyond what it was and Tully really ought to get Juice to stop, at least out here but the young man was slightly smiling so he didn't. After that the rest of lunch went normally. Tully kept his eyes open at some of the other gangs, and he felt his gaze slipping toward where Happy sat. The other man was once more being talked over, laughed around. He was isolated from the men who surrounded him. Tully considered his meeting reasons again. Perhaps to prove himself to the Mafia? No, he didn't look like he cared how they were treating him; he was just eating. He still had his Club and that was all that mattered to him. Tully understood that part, at least. He just didn't like unknowns and this was the biggest unknown for him. “Tully.” Juice's voice cut through his thoughts. His boy looked like he'd picked some more at his tray while he was thinking.

“Mm?” He set his drink down after taking a pull from it. Then he noticed the space Dave and Theirry made in front of him. “Appointments? Mm, right.” Tully gestured in front of him to the empty seat, so that the inmate could speak to him. This time it was a man who needed not protection for himself, but a friend on the outside. It wasn't so much protection, as it was mercy. He was about to beg Tully, _again_ , to call off his dogs. Quite literally, in this case. Tully smirked darkly as he remembered. This man's brother was being held and used as a training dummy for his personal guard dogs. (Rottweilers, not German Shepherds as Jackson had guessed.) He couldn't quite recall the brother's transgressions, though. Nothing that bad, otherwise obviously he'd be dead and not a chew toy. “I suppose I'll contact my trainer. He best not commit another sin, hm?”

The man walked away with profuse thanks and his men closed the gap between them again. “Losing your touch, boss.” Mickey mumbled so that only he could hear. “So nice.”

Tully just shook his head with a chuckle, and stole some of Mickey's diced potatoes. “I am not. A nice person would have done it two months ago.” Now he properly laughed and finished up his tray, just as the bell sounded for the end of lunch. “Interesting the kinds of things a con will say.” He picked up Juice's tray as well, before he stood up. “Go on. The quicker you go the less likely you'll have a line.” Tully looked at Theirry, gesturing that he grab Dave's tray as well. No one went alone, and they'd arranged to make sure of it. “And you best be careful.” That wasn't a warning for Juice, but for the other man. Not coming home safely wasn't an option.

“We will.” Juice spoke quietly for them both, and stood up as well. “C'mon?” This time Dave just stood up, nodding at Tully before Juice moved around the table. Tully could just barely hear his boy's words, though he could see how he lit up a little. “Hey, good job. He jus' wants respect, you know. He's an OG.” The rest of it faded into the background of the prison as Tully started to deposit their dishes. Juice wasn't looking upset at going, which considering how he'd been before and during lunch, was a positive thing. Maybe he was just trying to give an air of confidence. Might not have felt it, but faking it was a legitimate strategy.

“He still mad at you?” Mickey was quiet as he asked about what had happened that morning. Tully shook his head as he set their trays down, waiting until Mickey did the same before he started to respond. They were both going in the same direction, which was probably for the best. Mickey no doubt had work to do in contacting people. “And what about before lunch?” His second spoke again before he could. “What was that?”

Now Tully had to wait until they were down the hallway a little bit. He sighed as he put his hands behind his back. “Panic attack. He usually keeps it together until night but...it was a long morning.” Mickey said nothing, just nodded. “Soon.” He might not be able to totally keep Juice from having the nightmares and all the other problems that came with PTSD, but he'd be able to spend more time helping him prevent them. Or talking him down from them. His second made a positive noise before they both stepped into their cells, the door shutting behind each man. He glanced around the cell and decided it needed a clean-up. Juice did it much better, but even Tully wasn't going to wallow in filth to wait for him to do it.

It was mostly just picking up and Tully finished that quite quickly. He even climbed up into his bed and shook out the pillows, tossing a bag of candy down to Juice's bunk for when his boy got back. Tully straightened the blankets, though he didn't go through the effort that Juice always did when making his bunk. Just enough that they were straight, that was good enough for him. Not that he'd slept here much in the last few weeks; the thought came to the shot-caller that he ought to at least try to do it so that he didn't lose the ability completely.

Tully gave the same treatment to Juice's bunk before he curled up onto it. Slightly lumpy, but they'd mess it up again soon enough. Or his boy would hustle him off of it and re-make it the way he liked. The mental image made Tully chuckle, and then he got up to grab one of his own books. The Lord of the Rings book, so he could keep ahead of Juice on it. Tully would need to finish up and send out the letter to Mina, probably tomorrow, but otherwise he was caught up.

He read slowly, trying to get each individual line perfectly, or at least so he wasn't going to embarrass himself. After all, Juice had apparently seen movies of this, with their perfect pronunciation. Tully's mind, though, eventually wandered to the con from lunch. How cruel was Tully, that he could simply order a man tortured for reasons he couldn't remember? Tully set the book down on his chest, not fighting his train of thought. He was warped, Tully knew that and it had never bothered him before. If he was honest, it still didn't bother him that much except in how it might upset Juice. They rarely talked about his shot-caller duties. The front he put up, at least. When they did it was usually Juice joking about it.

But his boy wasn't wary of him. Hadn't been since shortly after they met, probably. When Jackson turned Juice over. But Juice also hadn't seen Tully at his scariest. Not really, maybe a moment when Tully had wanted to kill Happy with his bare hands when he found them in the machine shop. And would have done so, without intervention. Juice's intervention. He was a better person with his lover with him but he still had his moments. Responsibilities. Not forever though. “Mickey.” They seemed to be the only ones on the cell block, and if anyone else was there they weren't listening. “How are the poems?” But no need to make it obvious what they were talking about.

“Complicated.” Tully heard the unspoken “asshole.” He'd decided on using a different poem for reach contact, in case the list fell into the wrong hands. They might have broken one coded contact, but all of them? It was almost as secure as using multiple books. It just meant that Mickey would be at it for a while. Tully huffed in laughter and finally was able to go back to his book. Maybe get a degree in literature. Poetry, or even this high fantasy stuff was interesting. Maybe take up a different hobby while he was at it. _“Boss.”_ Mickey's voice made him rest the book down again. “Christ you just don't give a fuck anymore? I've found a better...line.... for this couplet.”

He had a more pliable contact. Tully waved. “Use it, then. If that makes the poem better.” It wasn't that Tully _didn't_ care, he was just eager to hand things over. Once he'd decided on retirement, he'd realized how ready for it he was. He went back to his book, returning to the slow task of reading it. It would make time go by faster.

“Thanks, Dave.” Juice's voice echoed down the hallway. He sounded lighter than before. “Lemme know at dinner what ya want.” Tully's cell door opened up and after a minute or two Juice came in, freshly shaven on top and his face trimmed up some. He was smiling, which made Tully return it. “Glad you told me to go when you did. Got busy right after we got there.” Juice crossed their cell to look at the calendar hanging over the desk. “Mm. 'S visitor's day tomorrow. Families.”

Tully huffed as he sat up. He never thought about the specific days they had set aside for visitors. After all, he got them when he wanted. Though only because it was one person at a time. Most men had groups; their families. That took coordination and it was easiest to schedule those days in advance. “Mickey?”

“I'll get in touch with Luis at breakfast tomorrow.” Mickey spoke before Tully could even ask. “Make sure he's not seeing his taco-ettes.”

Juice snickered and crossed back to his bunk. As predicted he waved Tully off of it so he could remake it. “Taco-ettes? I mean, nacho chips, baby beans, pre-cooked tamales. There's lots of better foods to make slurs out of. Not that you should limit yourself to food.” Juice just sighed dramatically before he crawled back onto his bed. He looked up to Tully and reached out for him.

The older man sat down and looked at Juice. Something didn't seem totally right. “Did you take something?” Dave had been on them, there was a chance Juice accepted when he was offered. Tully stared hard at him; Juice wouldn't make eye contact. At least not until Tully gently tilted his chin up; Juice's pupils were blown wide and when Tully shifted his hands to take his pulse at his throat, he found that Juice's heart was racing. “Speed?” He dropped his hold on Juice, not wanting the pressure at his neck to push them into something they didn't have time for.

Juice looked a little amazed, and was shocked enough to just nod. “Looked like Ritalin.” He started to fidget, like Tully knowing let him release what he'd been holding back. The younger man turned his face away looking to the ground. “Didn't-didn't want to feel bad. While we sat. An' I didn't wanna fall asleep while I waited.” Tully bit back a groan because he had to have Juice keep talking. They could discuss Tully's disappointment in a minute; he had to make sure he knew where his lover got it. Make sure it was a safe source. “Dave said it was okay.” Juice trailed off. “An' 's not gonna cost me anything.”

At that Tully rolled his eyes and let himself glare at his boy. “You _know_ that's not true,” Juice flinched at his tone but Tully didn't modulate it, “that it's safe _or_ free.” He breathed out a sigh and lightly stroked Juice's scalp. They did a good job there, at least. The boy shuddered with his touch. “I could have gotten it to you if you _really_ needed.” Tully doubted he did, and Juice knew that too. He'd just let his own worries take over, and when he was offered an escape, he accepted.

Another twitch from Juice. “I'm sorry. Just....” He stopped speaking, and tried to press closer to Tully.

He had a moment where Tully considered rejecting him in retaliation and punishment, but he just couldn't. He wrapped his arms around Juice and gave him a hug, kissing the crown of his bare head. “I know, baby boy. You made a bad choice, that's all. I'm not mad, beautiful. Just disappointed.” He felt another shudder through the warm body against him. And then another twitch, and then Juice tried to wiggle out of Tully's hold. “Where do you think you're going?”

“M-my hands. Th-they're dirty. Sticky.” Juice wouldn't look at him again, flushing. Damn, the speed was making his anxiety worse. Tully was going to beat Dave to a pulp. “Shit.” Juice seemed to have come to the same conclusion and sagged on Tully again. “Sorry.”

Tully hugged him and gave him more kisses. First on the crown of his head, then his forehead, and then that spot that always had a little line in between Juice's eyebrows when he frowned. One was there now. “Horse is out of the barn, baby. You know better now, for next time. Ask _me._ ” The shot-caller let him go though shifted to hold his hand instead. Couldn't let the boy think he was being rejected. “Tell you what, my pretty Puerto Rican.” He stroked Juice's knuckles with his thumb, stroking the ink with his other hand. “You work off some of this extra twitchy with say, 30 pushups and situps, and then we'll do what we planned, hm?” Occupy his beloved, make sure he thought about what he did. It both was and wasn't punishment. Once he did it, that would be it. No more worry about what would happen after; at least that was Tully's intention. Juice would probably be jumpy for a bit yet, no doubt, but it would help curb some of his energy too.

Juice was eager to make up for his error in judgment, so he nodded. ”Love you.” Tully kissed his nose in the brief moment that Juice lifted his face. “Go on, get moving.” The young man slid to the floor on his belly, his hands' stickiness apparently forgotten with the task. He smiled that smile, the one that mean he was purely happy, before he slowly started to push upwards. Tully noticed then that Juice had crossed one leg over the other. Making it hard on himself, as always.

Tully couldn't help but watch his beautiful boy work out. Up and down, arms working the most but all of him was clearly into it. “Mm,” he hummed appreciatively. Depending on how his meeting went, Juice staying up would probably be a good thing. This performance made Tully want to get his hands on his lover; he could make it so good, make Juice whine and cry for more while drugged out of his mind so everything was that much more intense.

“Tully.” Tully looked up. The assistant warden stood in front of his cell, flanked by four guards. Two to search, two to hold the two inmates. Their usual holding cells must have been full. The warden was wearing one hell of a nasty smirk, so it might have been just petty torment. “You know the drill. You and Ortiz, come out quietly. Random room search.” He gave a gesture so that two of the guards were close enough to cuff Tully and Juice.

God _damnit._ Random, Tully's white ass. He didn't even look like he was thinking it, however. He wasn't going to give the screw that satisfaction. And Juice had become equally impassive, once more seeming to hold in all the tics and twitches that the amphetamines causing. Juice must have had practice at hiding it. He waited until Tully was up off the bed, then stood himself. No way to conceal his blown pupils but this warden usually rarely concerned himself with such things. At least when Tully had been high in years past he'd never said anything.

Both men were cuffed, secure and standing out in the hallway before the warden and the other two guards made their way into the cell. Tully chanced a look at Juice, to check in with him. His sweet lover was tense, with all the effort he was putting forth to hide his emotional state on top of everything else. The guard behind him wasn't someone “safe”, probably intentionally. He watched the guards, stone-faced as they tore their cell apart, watching for a minute or five to see where they missed. It was different every time, but knowing where things could be hidden in this cell or others was still good knowledge to have. Tully looked back to Juice, and let out a quiet hum. Soothing, trying to keep his boy grounded in the moment. Immediately Smith, the guard who had him, gave him a shake. A non-verbal warning for silence.

So _he_ was becoming a dickhead too, great. Probably due to Tully's denial for information the other day. The shot-caller did fall into silence, retreating into his thoughts instead of watching them do anything in particular to their cell for any length of time. That was, after all, suspicious behavior that would get their cell searched further and him hauled in for an interrogation. Not that Tully had anything to hide; he had to trust that Mickey was keeping their list of contacts safe. That list had to go as soon as possible. Well before the next search, for sure. “Easy.” The other guard's voice brought him out of his head. Juice was even more distressed looking, staring as their cell was messed up. One of the few safe spaces he had and here it was getting destroyed right in front of him. Tully was reminded that he'd never actually seen them do it, just the aftermath. This, no doubt, made it more real.

Immediately Tully scrapped whatever plans he might have had to punish the boy for his indiscretion. This was plenty, his jacked up anxiety torturing him was enough. Tully tensed himself, wanting nothing more than to gather Juice in his arms and reassure him. “Somethin' to say, Tully?” The assistant warden said with a sneer on his face, standing in the middle of the destruction.

“Nawsir.” He put his attention on the other man, giving him what he wanted so that this shit could end. Tully did slur his words, that manipulative accent he'd long developed. Maybe something familiar for Juice to hold onto. Tully knew he'd need it. “Nothin' at all.” He held the warden's gaze for as long as he could without seeming defiant or challenging. Then he dropped his eyes for a second and looked at Juice. His show of power seemed to have given his love something to cling to, to anchor on, because he looked just a little less upset.

They stayed there in the hallway for another ten minutes; the searching guards had gotten their work down to a science. They shook their heads at the warden and filed out, ignoring Tully's dirty looks. The head screw was last, and he stopped in front of Tully. Out of headbutting range, Tully ruefully noted. “Seems like there's no contraband.” Of course he sounded disappointed. Dipshit, of course there wasn't any. But then, after all that, Tully remembered that there _had_ been something. Jeff's letter, translated and everything. He'd kept it in the poetry book, though. Maybe Mickey had it. Tully hoped he had it. If not, it could be anywhere. No way to know now, he had a disaster on his hands in more ways than one. “Keep your nose clean, Tully.” The assistant warden gestured to let them both back into the cell. Tully knew he was too stiff as he went in, but no one made comment about it.

Tully remained unmoving, waiting for after Juice was uncuffed, staring at Smith until he stepped away and the door at the end of the cell block slammed shut. He turned to look back at his beloved, cursing yet another interruption to bother their time together that his boy so very much needed. Juice was looking around wide-eyed, the twitching starting up again once more. Like he had buried it just long enough and it erupted like a volcano. “Dunno wh-where to start.” Juice truly _whimpered_ in a way Tully only heard when they were in bed, and twisted to stare at Tully. “Help.” That sound, though, was tiny and afraid. A contrast to the noise from before. Goddamn him, Dave. Tully had an idea for him, for later.

Now, though. Tully stepped over the items on the floor and pulled Juice into a hug. As he expected, Juice was just radiating heat from the stress. He rested his chin on Juice's head and rubbed his back. “Clothes and linens is where I start first.” Silence from the younger man, just shivering. “Would you like my help, or would I be in your way for your superior organizing skills?”

Juice laughed a little. Quiet, but enough for Tully to know he wasn't totally lost. “L-lemme st-start? Then you c'n join.” He rose his face, begging for affection.

Tully nodded and placed a gentle kiss on Juice's pursed lips. “And what have we learned?” He rose an eyebrow, looking down at his boy's big brown eyes.

“N-no more uppers?”

“Good boy. Go ahead.” Tully stepped back and Juice began to pick items up, sorting them into piles on his bed. Tully watched a moment before he moved to the bars again. “McManus!” He tried not to bark too much, but he needed to be heard. He'd seen his favorite guard out of the corner of his eye when they were standing in the hall, and now he needed the other man.

He waited until McManus sauntered up to him, standing a respectful distance away. Tully could feel the whirlwind of his love behind him, sorting and tossing and setting up a few things. “What is it, Tully?”

“Please invite David, mm Cross I believe, to our painting class. He expressed interest.” Now Juice stopped. He knew the boy knew _where_ that was, and he had a feeling Juice wasn't going to be too pleased with him for bringing Dave along to the meeting. Tully really did just want to have a chat with the other man. Maybe only a threat or two, nothing too serious. “I think he'll make an excellent assistant.” Redirect his impulsive, addict urges at the same time as his talk.

McManus shook his head. “Class is full, Tully.” Well, not really. He just wasn't risking his job to escort so many people to what would likely be a beatdown, which Tully understood. He'd just have to talk to Dave another time. The next time Tully went outside, probably.

He waved it off. “Next class, then. Serves me right for procrastinating.” He gave a sheepish shrug; all part of the performance, and stepped from the bars in the signal that he was done with the conversation. McManus moved on. One more thing; Tully looked at Mickey and signaled to him to check the poetry book. The letter from Jeff should have been in the back. As long as it didn't slip out as he'd handed it over at breakfast.

Mickey frowned, but did as he was told, and nodded when he spotted it. Tully let out a sigh of relief; that was too close and entirely too sloppy for him. Tully turned his attention to Juice. His boy had already gotten most of the floor mess into organized piles, though he'd stopped and was staring at them. “I'll get my bed, baby?” Tully gently spoke, trying to pull Juice away from the whirlpool of his thoughts.

Juice startled and then nodded. “That's your pile,” as he pointed to one of the ones on his bunk. “Got most of your clothes too. I think.” He sighed as he looked to their toilet and sink. The searchers went through _everything_ and while they didn't waste an inmates toiletries they didn't exactly care if they made a mess and got things like toothpaste and lotion drips everywhere. “Every month?”

The look in his eyes just broke Tully's heart. “Just about. I'm sorry, baby. I'll see what I can get changed with the lawyer.” He'd never cared about the contraband searches before; it was just something he had to deal with. A price for the privileges that he had. But it bothered Juice, so he could at least try to fix it. “My pile?” Tully picked it up, and then tossed it onto his own bunk when Juice nodded. He climbed up; there was enough room to sit up but only just, and his legs hung over the edge if he leaned against the wall. It was a pretty comfortable position, though, and that's how Tully started to fold his clothes. Actually making the bed could come next.

Each time Juice got near him, he reached and poked him with a toe. It was silly, but Juice just played along and poked him back, usually in the calf. Kept it light, superficial. So that Juice would stay out of his head while he worked. Clean, but not think too much about it. “Want me to put your stuff in the drawer?”

The stuttering stopped, so that was a good sign that whatever Tully was doing was working. Tully handed him his folded shirts and the younger man arranged them away in the right place for it. “Thank you, baby.” Juice beamed before he took a deep breath, then crossed the cell to start scrubbing at the sink. Like Tully had given him some strength for the unpleasant task. “It'd be nice if they gave us clean sheets after this shit,” Tully mused, “I'll put in for some tomorrow.”

Juice looked up to him and nodded eagerly. “Yeah. That'd be good, even if we'll just mess 'em up again.” More grinning, a little manic even for Juice. The damn drugs. Hopefully they'd wear off soon; Tully could just remain calm like he had been. Wasn't the first time he'd shared with a cellmate who was on something. Not that Juice needed the redirect like some of them had, with what they were doing, but Tully wasn't someone to not work with what he was given. If that's what his baby boy wanted, Tully could give. With pleasure.

“Mmhm.” Tully got his pants folded, moving onto his socks which he tossed one by one into the open dresser. He was pleased he was able to resist the urge to throw them at Juice; maybe another time. Tully just wanted the cell clean so that he could cuddle with the young man, give him what he so needed and deserved before he went off to be the shot-caller once more. Juice looked occupied with the sink still, so Tully climbed down and set his own pants away. He even organized the space so that everything could fit, and made a space for the undershirts of his that Juice wore. Mostly so he didn't grab one of them; it would sit funny on his lanky frame now that his boy had stretched it and filled it nicely. “Your mess, mostly.” Tully didn't sneak but he certainly didn't make a whole lot of noise as he approached Juice and pulled him close, away from the sink for a moment. “Mine goes inside of my sweet sexy boy.” He kept his voice low, murmuring into his ear as Juice jumped briefly, then melted into his arms and shuddered. “Would you like that, baby boy? I'll make you feel so good when I get back, for being such a good boy for me.”

Another shiver, and Juice pressed against him further with a nod. His eyes were half-lidded already, his rushing mind no doubt thinking of all the things that Tully would do to him. Tully had been told how good receiving sex was while on amphetamines, he could only imagine though he'd had some amazing orgasms while giving and high. “Good.” He gave Juice another kiss on the top of his head. “Finish this, then make your bed. We'll sit then before dinner.” Then he released Juice though he found one hand to tangle with Juice's until the young man looked like he was going to be able to support himself.

Tully turned and made his own bed, now that the clothes were off of it. The cell looked at least presentable, and he was fairly certain that Juice was going to work more on it when he was alone. He had before, after all, when Tully was in the clinic for the stabbing he'd caught. He'd make sure that Mickey kept an eye on him in case of a bad come-down from the drugs.

Finally Tully was just down to fluffing his pillow and tossing up onto his bed, though no doubt he'd pull it back down tonight, and he looked to Juice. His boy was dancing from one foot to another, staring anxiously at him, and then to the bed behind him. “Alright, baby, sorry I'll get out of your way.” Tully chuckled and indeed moved back, brushing his fingers down Juice's back while the boy passed him to strip his bed again.

It didn't take long for Juice to make his bed to his specifications, and he crawled onto it afterwards. “'S not perfect.” He wrung his hands, and then gestured almost shy for Tully to come join him. Tully grabbed the Tolkien book, and sat just as Juice asked. The younger man leaned up against him and sighed so deep Tully thought the weight of the world must still be on his shoulders. “I'm sorry.” He squeezed his eyes shut, shutting out what upset him. “Still l-love me?”

“Mmhm.” Tully's heart broke. Like he wouldn't love Juice after a tiny bump in the road like this. “I love you so much, baby boy,” which he punctuated with more kissing. He gently pet his boy as he circled his arms around him. Juice was still twitching though it seemed to have gone down as he'd been cleaning. Gotten the vast majority of the jitters out. “It looks fine though, I promise. Cleaner than I usually leave it,” Tully chuckled, “and you can do more later. Now shall we?” He waited until Juice nodded against him before he let him go from the hug though he kept one arm resting on his shoulders. Tully picked up the book and opened it, quietly starting the adventure of Frodo and the Fellowship. It was so positive this early in the book, so happy, and he knew it was good for his boy when Juice shifted to rest his head on Tully's chest. He could feel Juice relax as much as the drugs were letting him and once or twice he had to bounce his shoulder to make sure his boy was still with him.

They didn't have nearly as much time as Tully had hoped. It seemed like as soon as they'd gotten into a rhythm of reading and gentle pets or kisses, it was nearly time for dinner. The sounds around them ramped up and Juice let out another one of those deep sighs. “We have to get up?”

“We do.” Tully unwound himself from Juice but he let the young man stand first. It took him a moment, clearly not wanting to move but finally he scooted to the end of the bed and stood up. “Good boy.” Tully followed him upright and watched as Juice fiddled with the hem of his undershirt. It was still Tully's; he hadn't taken it off to clean. But he wasn't going to say anything; if it helped Juice then so be it. It reminded him, though. “Get all the dirty clothes in the laundry bag?” Juice nodded, not quite looking up at Tully. At least until Tully stepped in close and tilted his chin up. “It's okay, baby.” He stopped, thinking a moment. “Do you really not want to go?” Gentle voiced; he'd made the assumption that Juice would come along.

The younger man appeared for a moment like he was going to say yes, to tell Tully he wanted to remain in the cell. He shook his head and rose it to put his eyes on Tully's. “I'll go.” The door opened, and Tully gestured to his lover to head out first. Juice didn't, not right away. “Don't...don't be mad at Dave?” He was still looking at Tully.

The older man had to sigh, reaching out for him. “I won't. Not in the cafeteria.” He was still angry with him, and Dave wasn't going to escape punishment. If nothing else then because dealing in prison without being careful led to crossing boundaries and causing fights about territory. It was an affront, and if anyone took offense Tully _would_ have to deal with it more harshly then. He could, however, keep his first warning to Dave private. For Juice.

He knew Juice knew that too, and so the boy just nodded and stepped out of their cell. Tully followed, and waited until he was surrounded by his brothers before they all moved on. He reached for Juice's hand and the boy gladly gave it to him until they left their block; they were both reluctant to let go but they did at the last minute. Juice did stick close, leaning into Tully's space whenever the guards weren't looking. “Least dinner doesn't completely suck.” He murmured, loud enough for Tully to hear. “That would just...be a shitty end.” Juice sighed again as Tully followed him down the chow line. Mac and cheese wasn't Tully's personal favorite, but it was edible for sure. “C-can you get me some hot sauce? I forgot.” Juice had a sheepish smile on his face, and Tully grabbed one of the tiny bottles of hot sauce. He handed over Juice's shoulder, though the thing was barely bigger than Juice's palm. “Thanks. Yanno they used to stick these in MREs? Wondered where they went.” The boy shifted from one foot to another until they were released to sit down. “Clearly, they're sellin' 'em to th' prisons.”

It sounded to Tully like his boy was talking to make noise, to burn off some of the energy stashed in him, and to show the prison he was Just Fine. “Yeah? Will has some in our cabin, baby boy. Maybe I'll see if he's got any with the hot sauce.” Tully chuckled as he sat and ran his hand over Juice's scalp. “Might be worth something.”

Juice shivered as he took his place next to Tully. “Probably not but...you can try.” Juice's leg bounced, rubbing on Tully's ever so slightly as the younger man dug into his food. “I would try. I mean. Weird people'll buy 'em no matter how old they are. Like preppers, waiting for the zombie apocalypse or the collapse of society or--”

“Or RaHoWa?” Mickey teased in his usual dry way. “You know 'zombies' are just another term for the undesirable other races, right? Like you, housewife.”

His boy deflated a little, so Tully leaned and bumped his shoulder against Juice. “Well, there is such a long list of people who'll be up against the wall first that you'll be just fine, baby.”

Mickey snorted. “You'll be right up there with him, you queer race traitor.” More of Mickey's teasing, though he was pushing the line of what was acceptable so Tully shot him a dirty look. His second quickly backed down. “If they can get to you, any way. You'll probably be in one of your secret bolt holes.” The other man looked around Tully, and then nudged the shot-caller to see to Juice.

They'd gone too far; Juice was looking green and had stopped eating. It was, honestly, part of their normal conversationbut to most others it was morbid at best. To Juice it was horrific. Tully glanced around to make sure none of the guards were watching, and then he leaned to murmur in his boy's ear. “Sorry, baby. You're safe and sound, no one is going to hurt either of us. Especially not like that.” He gave a brief kiss to the young man and slid over the cookie that was their dessert. Tully waited until Juice took it and nodded before sitting up straight again.

“Wh-where's your bolt hole?” Juice pulled a piece off and nibbled at it, trying to change the topic of conversation. “I mean. If you wanna tell.”

“Pacific Northwest.” And Tully wasn't going to get any more specific than that. People could be listening, and that was Will's home too. “Most of us have one, mm?” There were nods around the table and Juice scrunched his nose. “Long as you have a good bug-out bag, baby.”

Now Juice grinned, enough that Tully knew his upset was pushed away for now. “Lots, actually. Different sizes, one that fits on a bike, even.”

“Ain't much of one.“ Dave finally entered the conversation. Juice just harumphed against the comment and didn't respond, which of course only fueled the other man. “What kind of bug-out bag fits on a queermobile?”

His boy just tensed, and Tully was about to snap when Thierry stepped in. “Oy, fuck'ead . Shut the fuck up. I ride, and I'm gettin' real tired of your shit.” The accent slurred his words, but Thierry was making his point perfectly clear. “I'll eat th' 'ole time jus' t' break your jaw and keep you quiet for a few  _semaines,_ oui?” 

“I'll help him kick your ass, dipshit.” Mickey threatened, making Tully smirk. “Christ almighty, learn to keep your mouth shut.” He didn't even have to do any of the work, just step in when they got too vicious at each other. They'd get a chance in the morning to work out their stress; he'd make sure Juice went with. Himself, too; he was getting bored on the unit if he was honest with himself. As long as he stayed with the others, he'd be safe enough. Tully reached down under the table, giving Juice's leg a gentle squeeze. The boy had lapsed into silence again, but he let out a shiver every once in a while. It worried Tully, but there was only so much he could do out here. It was the fighting, he knew. Juice was always concerned when the members of the Brotherhood started to snipe at each other. He had explained it, late at night once. When the MC fought, people ended up dead. Innocents and members alike and the speed was not helping the younger man keep a lid on his shit. “What _is_ in a bag that small?” Mickey, trying to draw Juice into the conversation again now that Dave had been thoroughly chastised. The man was hunched over his food looking sour. 

Juice glanced up and shrugged. “S-same as you'd find in a bigger one. MREs, water purification tablets,” now he lowered his voice, “guns and ammo. Silver. Just in case, for that stuff. Smaller amounts than usual. 'S just...Just for getting to a bigger stash or a bunker or whatever.” Another shrug as he took a bite out of the cookie Tully had given him.

The shot-caller was proud of him for trying, and he now ran his fingertips up and down Juice's thigh. “Silver? Not gold?” Most of the men here could get into a conversation about prepping for the worst. Mickey was the one most into it, though.

“Silver's lighter. It's perceived value is lower but it has more industrial potential, at least the kind of needs you'd see in a post-apocalyptic scenario.” Juice gave him a thin smile and started to relax again. “Could be bullets. Not terribly effective ones, but better than gold. Especially if we suddenly get werewolves.” The rest of the table laughed, and kept up the conversation. It was spirited, but not hostile anymore and as Tully watched Juice come out of his shell again he had to just marvel. The amount of trust he showed to these men now was so different from how it was two months ago. “Okay, okay. Most likely reason we're descending into the apocalypse, what is it?” 

“Government takeover.” Tully declared with his own smirk, and his men nodded in agreement. “They've takin' our guns.” He slurred now.

“Not a chance. _Trust me._ There are way too many guns out there to ever be taken.” Juice was almost smug in his declaration, and Tully supposed he had a point. “Okay, so. Not the government takin' over. That's boring. I'm thinking... _undead_ apocalypse.” More smugness and even Tully laughed this time. His boy was such a quick study. 

The conversation kept going, even if Tully simply ate and listened. Not that he didn't have an opinion, he just liked listening to them. Listening to Juice mostly, always entranced by his lover's intelligence. They turned to fiction;  _The Walking Dead_ sounded amazing to Tully who had always been more interested in the meta, what people did when faced with adversity that they couldn't overcome. His boy wondered aloud if they had the comics in the library. “We can see, baby.” Tully brought his hand around to run up and down Juice's spine. Just once, and one of the guards cleared his throat to get Tully to stop. “My nerdy boy.” 

Finally, finally Juice just smiled in that way, the bright one that Tully had been missing. “Guilty.”

“'Ope you didn't say that to th' judge, mon ami.” Theirry spoke straight-faced, and then laughed. His boy laughed along with them and despite how the rest of the day had gone, and how the rest of the night was going to go, Tully could tell that Juice was going to manage to survive it. He himself was just quiet as usual, one hand gently touching and stroking Juice's thigh. At least when the guards weren't looking, he could do that. Liked to do it, feel the muscles there that were all his. “Boss, for th' painting class. Anything I need to bring?” 

Godamnit, Thierry. Thank fuck dinner was almost over. Juice tightened beneath Tully's fingers though he kept eating like there wasn't anything wrong. Tully shot a look over to the other man, silently asking if that had really been the time. Too late now, Tully supposed. “Nah. They should have all of our supplies there.”

Froggy nodded and didn't ask anything more, to Tully's relief. Juice's too; he could feel his boy relax a tiny bit. The other man had at least more brains than Nuke, when it came to knowing when to speak but Tully actually missed the other muscle. He was good with Juice, if nothing else. “Mm. I need to find more about him...” Tully mumbled as the dinner bell sounded. He stood, picking up his half-full tray. The shot-caller had eaten light, just in case. “C'mon, beautiful.” Tully murmured to prompt the younger man up.

“Gotta finish cleanin'.” Juice was looking only at his tray as he moved in front of Tully. “Be something good you c'n come back to.” He obviously wasn't thrilled about it. “After your p-painting class.” 

Tully's chest ached and all he wanted to do was skip it, and spend the evening holding Juice like he'd wanted to this afternoon. “Thank you, baby. That's very thoughtful, I'd like it and it'll make you feel better. Then we can do like we planned.” It was true; when he got back Tully was going to cuddle and nothing was going to stop him. Not even Juice's obsessive need for a spotless cell.

That got his boy to smile again over his shoulder as he dumped his tray, and then glanced beside Tully. “Boss?”

Dave was waiting for them to finish speaking; he'd finally learned something. Tully would of course enforce the good behavior. “Mm?” Even more miraculous, he held out a chit for the shot-caller. That was probably the last he was owed, and so prompt too. “Thank you.” He took it and stuck it into his pocket, but Dave walked a few steps with him. Clearly he needed to be drawn out some, rather like Juice did sometimes. “And?” Tully reached out to take Juice's hand, making sure that his voice didn't sound impatient with the other inmate so Dave wouldn't bolt. He found he was rather fond of the gesture; it was intimate in a way that pulling him close or slinging an arm over his shoulder wasn't.

His boy took it and then gave it a squeeze before he pulled away. He'd understood something Tully hadn't, because he moved away to fall into step with Mickey. Dave watched this as Tully had, and then looked up to him. “Look, uh. About the....hot chocolate. Me an' him shared.” He jerked his chin towards Tully's lover. Tully had to keep his mouth from twitching in a smile; the other man was at least trying to make it seem more innocent than it was. Then he remembered it was drugs, and Juice's reaction, and the frown he had was suddenly genuine. “I'm not going to, you know. Ask for anything.”

That was unexpected. Tully huffed; he'd promised he'd keep it private but it seemed like this was going to be as private as they got. He looked down at Dave, glaring. Not too hard, but enough. “You most certainly  _will not_ .” Tully lowered his voice to a growl, and to his credit Dave didn't flinch. It was good practice for Tully's upcoming fight, to be intimidating. “Let me make it very clear. Stop selling, or giving away, at all. If I find out you did, you'll regret it. Or I'll give you to whatever shot-caller whose territory you violated. Which I think currently is one of the darkies.” They made their way into the corridor of the block, Tully striding and making the other man keep up. Then he stopped, suddenly in front of Dave's cell practically forcing him against the bars. Tully bent a little, to be able to stare into the other man's eyes. “And just as an aside, David. I would suggest to you develop an allergy to  _hot chocolate_ as soon as you can. It'll make your stay here far easier.” In other words, cut the dope. 

Dave just stared at him and then nodded. “I go-got ya, boss.”

Now he stood up straight and turned back to his cell. Juice had been watching him with those big brown eyes, leaning on the bars to be able to see. “Thank you.” He murmured as he straightened and reached for Tully's hand. Once the door closed, it was as though it was just the two of them. Juice could be as needy as he liked, and Tully would take care of him. All without consequence, because your cell was your home. At least when it came to how the other inmates reacted to what they saw. “For not...” Juice trailed off as he stepped into his space, tucking his head under Tully's chin with a hug. “Thank you.” Juice's voice was barely higher than a whisper then and it sounded like he had more to say. But he couldn't, because while they acted like they were alone, in reality they weren't and still had a reputation to keep.

Fuck it. In a week he wouldn't have to, no harm in starting a little early. Tully kissed the top of his head, squeezing his boy before he practically dragged him to the bed. Juice just went with him; Tully manhandling him never seemed to bother him. And besides, the older man could sense that he just needed the reassurance of his physical closeness. Maybe Tully needed it too, if he was honest with himself. He'd been quite touchy this afternoon with his boy, probably an artifact of not being able to when they'd scheduled time for it. “You're welcome.”

Juice looked torn. Like he wanted to both cuddle with Tully, and not so it wasn't so hard to let him go later. He did make a decision though, and once more he was resting on Tully's chest with his arms wrapped around the other man's middle. Just like it was supposed to be; Tully started to run his hand up and down Juice's back. “I'm right here, baby boy. Papi's right there.”

“You'll come back?” Juice let out the tiniest sniffle. The poor boy's emotions were all over the place, mostly come-down from the drugs. He needed to be reassured again.

Tully would give it. “I will. And after the meeting tomorrow too.” He wouldn't promise aloud, but he'd keep to what he said. Even if he had to retreat from this fight, or make compromises he might not otherwise, Tully would return to Juice. “Whatever you need to do tonight, go ahead.”

His boy nodded, but didn't speak. Just remained curled up against Tully. Soaking up the gentle affection that he gave so freely to this young man and only him. They couldn't sit long though, and finally Juice sighed. Without even being asked he moved off of the bed, pacing the cell for a moment before he picked up a rag. Tully stood as well, but leaned on the bars and stayed out of his lover's way so that he could clean and relieve his fears. Distracting himself, wiping the shelving where they kept some of their things. If Tully had to guess, Juice was going to try his damndest to get the place dusted before he got back. He watched, and hearing noises twisted to see Froggy being taken out of his cell. Tully was next, then, for this “painting class.” He turned around to Juice, who had frozen. “Baby. Juice.”  The man couldn't keep the growl out of his voice. Back into shot-caller mode, and he hated how Juice minutely flinched. Dinner had been more stressful than he'd let on, and even with the brief break it hadn't been enough to completely calm him. Tully didn't want to leave him at all, but business. “Come here, love.” He didn't care about the audience. 

Juice set down the rag and stepped over to Tully. He went easily into Tully's questing arms and the strength in his returning squeeze told the older man how unwilling he was to let him go. Tully dropped some kisses to the top of his head. “I'll be back before you know it.” He murmured. “Don't forget to rest, beautiful. If you want my blanket, or anything else, just get it.” He waited until Juice nodded before he laid more kisses down. “I love you.” Tully wanted to hear Juice say it back, as he poured his feelings into the words and gentle hold he had. It was the best he could do, aside from tilting Juice's face up to kiss his lips. The audience was still there.

“Love you too.” Juice was doing the same thing, Tully could feel. Except he could hear the tinge of _don't leave me_ and _please come back_ that Tully had to ignore before it pulled his heartstrings any more. He just nuzzled the boy once again and let him go, waiting until he stepped away to start obsessively scrubbing a spot on the wall to slip his shot-caller mask back on.

The cell door opened and Tully stepped out after submitting to the cuffs. He made eye contact with Mickey, who was of course noting who was with him and the time. There was a minute nod from him too; he'd take care of Juice while Tully was gone. There wasn't much time for any more communication before Tully was tugged along the cell block and out the doors.

It was Tully, Froggy, McManus, and a second guard on Tully's take that all walked in silence through the halls to the machine shop. The shot-caller tried not to think of the last time he made this trip; side and chest screaming with pain from his near run after Pearson had grabbed him on his way back to the cell. Mickey and Nuke and terrible news with her. On the other hand, thinking about it fueled Tully's anger and gave him a certain strength.

They made it without incident, and hopefully without arousing so much suspicion that they'd check any cameras. They wouldn't know until after; if Tully or any of them got hauled into an interrogation then they'd been seen. Tully steeled his features, staring into the door. No doubt the other man was in there already, hopefully without backup. “Froggy and me.” He rumbled and rubbed his wrists after they were freed. “Watch, only if we get into trouble come in.”  _Not until then. Preserve your place._ Tully implied. Better McManus and the other man stay uninvolved physically, if they could. Everyone would get questioned if they had to break up a fight, and there would be paperwork and investigations to find out if the men were dirty guards. Tully could not afford that, right now.

Both guards nodded and McManus opened the door without any additional fanfare. Thierry went in first, checking the room before he gestured. Tully could enter; the place was as they expected it with just Happy in there. He crossed his arms, steeling his face into a neutral expression before he in fact went inside.

Happy was leaning against the opposite wall, but far from casually. He was tense, the ever present toothpick flipping from side to side in his mouth. His dark eyes flicked between Tully and Thierry and beyond them to the guards until the doors shut and they were all alone. When he spoke, it was quiet. “Wasn't born in Cali.” Rusted. Like he hadn't been using his voice at all. Tully hadn't seen him speaking much at meals.

The shot-caller had no idea where this was going, so he remained still and silent. He did raise one hand to rest his chin on. Give Happy his shark's stare. Empty predator, who would kill without thought if Happy made a misstep. To his credit, the man didn't flinch. Just kept talking, though he came off the wall to stand straight. “Born and lived 16 years in Florida. Miami.” He paused. “My father's American. Mom's Cuban.”

A half-breed. What was it about him that people felt he could be told they weren't white? Especially at their lowest points; Juice had done it too. It wasn't the first time even before then, but really. Tully didn't have a peace sign on his chest! He just rose an eyebrow, taking a half step forward. Menacing.  _Get to the point_ without speaking. Happy this time paused a split second, but continued as he had. “Not a rich neighborhood. Though not poor either. It'd be the  _barrio_ if it wasn't Miami, but since it was during that time it was all coke and weed runnin'.” 

What did-- and then Tully got it. Happy was bilingual.  _He spoke Spanish._ The man had remained silent at Luis' table and people assumed he didn't understand so they ignored him. But he'd been  _listening._ “Clever.” Tully murmured, honestly impressed as he tilted his head. “Very clever. What did you overhear?” 

Now Happy took another step away from the wall and Tully had to wave at Thierry to stay where he was. It seemed members of the MC all had an inability to stay still for long periods. Wanderer's hearts, perhaps. His sweetheart was less so but he still needed to move around more than Tully did. No thinking of him, or the poetry of it right now. “You're not going to like it, Tully. And I need,” he paused swallowing. His pride, probably. “Need your help.”

Tully's first instinct was to laugh and order Thierry to start beating but he stayed those instincts. “What do you have to offer? Then we'll see if it's worth anything.” Like, say, walking out alive. Tully would never forgive him for what he did to Juice, and it really was only politics that kept him from taking his revenge.

Happy again stilled and then started to pace in a figure eight. It definitely didn't escape Tully's notice that this man was basically ratting. Was doing exactly as he'd beaten Juice very nearly to death for. “Your boss apparently called Luis.” Still quiet, and he stopped to look at Tully. The shot-caller couldn't really read the expression now, but he stiffened nevertheless. “Jeff.”

Tully stared and then took two long strides before he could even consider anything beyond what he'd heard. Happy didn't seem to be ready for this, so Tully pinned him roughly to the wall. Slammed him, with a force of anger that he could almost feel bubble through his hands. “What?” Very soft himself, because he didn't want to think that he'd heard what he did. That Jeff had gone behind his back to talk to a  _wetback,_ shot-caller or not. Without talking to  _him_ , without trusting that Tully knew how to run the West Coast. He squeezed Happy's shirt, and then one of Tully's hands moved up to his throat. 

It didn't take but a moment for Happy to get the wind back that Tully had knocked out of him. If he'd taken any longer Tully might have started squeezing. “Luis was saying Jeff contacted him. Said if you didn't make a decision and kill your punk then Luis was supposed to take the decision out of your hands and take Juice out.” Happy didn't look pleased to be saying any of it, but he especially sneered saying Juice's name. “No later than tomorrow.”

Tully had often read about the floor dropping out from under someone, but he'd never experienced it before this. The feeling of betrayal, amplified, from Jeff and Luis. Terror, for Juice. He'd left his beloved  _alone_ to do this. What if Happy was a distraction? Tully clenched his jaw, trying to get a handle on his running thoughts and not choke Happy out. It could all be a lie, after all. “Proof.” He growled, staring at the other man who remained pinned to the wall. Tully could feel Thierry shift again. To jump in if Happy took offense to how he was being treated. Or maybe to pull Tully off before he got the information he needed. 

“Other than the retirement you're keeping on the down low?” Happy rose his hands and actually shoved Tully off of him, for just enough room to properly shrug and bring his hands up. Probably to breathe, too. Whether to ward off another attack or begin his own, Tully didn't know. Or care.

He knew,  _knew_ the biker had a point. No one else knew, except for Mickey and Jeff (and Will), the specifics of the letter. But it was unthinkable to him that Jeff would basically betray him like this. To make him force his hand. Tully clenched his hands into fists and looked up. He hadn't realized he'd dropped his gaze, and was glad Froggy was there to watch his back. “Why?” It came out more of a snarl than he intended.

“Guess he got impatient with his pet fag.” Almost taunting Tully to hurt him. The shot-caller couldn't even guess his reasons why but if a beat down was the 'help' he requested then Tully would happily accommodate. “This morning Luis mentioned Jeff mentioned the riot,” because of course Jeff would be in contact with him as recent as then, “and that while your muscle was going to live it never would have happened if you didn't have your dick in Juice's ass. So that's part of it. My guess, anyway.” Happy now crossed his arms, almost a kind of surrender. It was also the most Tully had heard him speak since first meeting him, with the exception of their talk out in the yard. He wondered idly if he was just quiet in general or if he was more talkative with his club members. It didn't matter, really. “Me? You talked to Lenny. You know what I want.”

He now just stared at Happy. He wanted Tully to vouch for him to get back into the Club's good graces. Just that and he offered up Luis' plans and Jeff's? Honestly Tully could kind of admire his dedication. It didn't stop him from his next move; Tully just couldn't hold it in any longer. He closed the space between them again and at the same time brought his fist around, socking Happy in the jaw. Tully braced for a return impact.

Really, he ought to stop trying to figure out the MC members. They kept surprising him. Happy just shook his head to clear his vision and dropped his hands. He wasn't going to fight back.

Now that. That was funny and Tully just let a laugh out for the man in front of him. “Now who's a coward? Who's a rat?” Happy just rose his chin and kept looking at Tully. Taking his punishment like a man, even if it killed him. Which it might, it depending on Tully's feelings moment to moment. “Don't move.” The shot-caller hissed gesturing to Thierry to enforce his order. He waited until Froggy had Happy pinned again before he walked to one of the scrap pies. Sometimes there weren't any but Tully was lucky today; usually he felt joy seeing them.

Mostly all Tully felt was a dark numbness as he gazed at all the potential weapons in the dim light. He pulled two pieces out of the pile, satisfied with them. As he slung one over his shoulder and began to situate the other on his hand, a flash of memory came to him. Shiv in his hand, listening to Juice plead for Happy's life. It made him stop, thinking about his lover's strength to be able to do it. Stand up to the shot-caller after his own assault and head off worse. Happy was doing the same, really, minus the begging. “I should ride a bike.” Tully mused as he approached Happy again, handing the wire he'd intended on garotting him with to Froggy, who then stepped back. “You all think you're Superman.” Tully adjusted the brass knuckle-like gear again so the handle sat right on his palm. He needed to get his rage, his frustration about it all out so he could be calm again when he returned to the block. Tully had things to do there and would need emotional stability. “Don't fight me and I won't kill you. Don't make a sound and I might even call your Scot.” There, the rules were laid.

Now it was Happy's turn to brace for an impact. Once Froggy had released him he put his hands behind himself, giving Tully free access to his entire body. Tully swung to test the knuckles on flesh, feeling almost an explosion of pleasure as he connected with Happy's face again. This would do nicely as a weapon now and in the future too. The other man didn't even grunt, though he did let out a breath of air and checked to make sure his jaw was still able to move. Happy seemed to be taking Tully's edict for silence seriously. “You must really need your boys.” Tully mocked him now, before slamming his other hand into Happy's gut. God this felt good, almost as good as sex. Just being able to take his anger out on something  _solid._

Happy stumbled back, bent over and this time Tully didn't hesitate. Just smashed his fist into his face. A crunch and the smell of blood told Tully the first real injury Happy had gotten. Broken nose, most likely, and a part of Tully reminded him to not hit him there again. The other part of him just told him to swing again, so he did and the splatter of blood on his face was almost refreshing. Tully wondered how much pain he'd taken during the riot. Not enough, in the shot-caller's opinion.

Still the other man made no sound or move to defend himself. Wiped his face once, but then returned his hands to their place at his back. It was wrong how calm he was and Tully let his rage bubble up and explode. He shoved the other man against the wall and kneed him in the balls. Just to see if that made him squeal or better yet fight back. But not even that could make Happy break; he just squeezed his eyes shut and breathed through the pain, using the wall to keep himself upright.

Tully stepped back, considering. A flash of Juice again, the bruises on his back and ass. He'd been kicked, yes, but the placement of them meant that some of them had to have been while he was up against the wall. While Happy was beating on him. Before Happy broke him. Tully yanked the other man around, stronger for the anger that boiled inside of him. “I'm...” He considered rape. Considered going that far, crossing that line again just to  _hurt_ this man pinned beneath him. Tully pressed his long form against the other man's. He was thicker than Juice, more muscular. Still he didn't struggle, just froze and Tully could feel his heart pounding hard. Terror; Happy was well beyond fear and the shot-caller found he couldn't do what he was threatening.  _He_ had to be the one to end that sort of violence. Tully pinned Happy on the back of his neck with his forearm, and the other swung and hit his side before he spoke again. “....Getting old. Lucky for you I'm retiring, hm? Leaving you your virginity.” He slapped Happy in the side of the head with his open palm before he stepped away. The MC's man shuddered, just confirming to Tully that he'd been honestly afraid.

That didn't mean that Tully was soft. He hit once, and then kept swinging. Slamming his fists into Happy's back until he felt a rib crack and he was sure Happy would be pissing blood. Tully stepped back, starting to pant from the exertion. He flexed his fingers, wiggling them around his makeshift weapon before he grabbed Happy and spun him around. Now he had a hitch in his breath and blood kept dripping from his nose. With the way he tilted his head Tully was fairly certain that he was having a hard time hearing, too. Good. “So Jeff must have contacted Luis at the beginning of the week?” He just had to know. Know how long ago Jeff had stopped trusting him. Happy just nodded, holding Tully's eyes now that he could. No visible fear anymore. “You know Luis already doesn't like you. This isn't going to help.”

Happy looked like he was going to speak but thought better of it. Just tensed for Tully to hit him again. Of course Tully indulged him and bent him over with a punch to the solar plexus. Breathing already hurt for the man and Tully watched him struggle to stand upright again dispassionately. His anger might be wearing out, he thought. After all Happy had to have gotten a hold of Tully as soon as he could have, without arousing suspicion. That thought reminded him, and his emotions whipped up again like they were a storm. Better than the blank feelings from before, so better that the subject he was thinking of made him angry. The shot-caller hit Happy in the gut again, hard enough to bring him to his knees this time. “Cornelius is  _neutral_ fuckstick. We don't threaten him. He does too much good for us.” Probably one of the only good cons, but Tully wouldn't dare say that out loud. A knock on the window from where McManus watched brought his attention from Happy for a moment. Tully was going to have to wrap this up rather sooner than later. He kicked Happy over to the floor.

Tully looked down at the form of the biker, who was staring into the distance and breathing as heavily as his injuries would allow. He wondered what Happy was thinking, if he saw the parallels for his attack on Juice. Except Tully would allow him to live. Probably, anyway. He knelt, considering but ultimately discarding the desire to lean a knee on Happy's side. “Now you can talk. Why did you pull Juice from the riot?”

It took Happy a second to be able to respond. “Stupid fuck w-was going to get himself killed. Figured it'd be better if he didn't.” Only a little spit of pain, Tully might have been impressed in other situations.

He poked Happy in the chest, darkly chuckling. “He's still your brother deep down, hm? Don't worry, I'll keep your secret.” He stood. “I'll talk to your president. And Luis, he'll keep your carcass alive as long as they keep paying him.” Tully was pretty sure, anyway. He could get Happy moved to protective custody, he supposed, if no one else stepped up to take the cash the MC was offering. He wouldn't take it. Not him. Never the Brotherhood's block for this man. Tully turned away, sticking the brass knuckles in his pocket and gesturing for Froggy to set the garrote away. He had to wash his hands, and his face, but none of the others had to. He was the only one.

“Fuck you. And Juice.” Tully stopped then, twisting once more and giving Happy a chance to recant his rudeness. “We'll kill him if he ever goes back to Charming.”

He stepped back to Happy and knelt again, and the man just spit at him. “Death wish, hm?” He leaned down, grabbing Happy's face before he could spit again. “ _No._ You'll have to find someone else.” Tully just smirked down, light almost that he denied what Happy clearly wanted so badly. Maybe he didn't trust the shot-caller either; Tully really would call the Scot if only to give him a warning that Happy might actively be picking fights with people. “And I will, fuck him. Make him feel so good, and wanted, and  _loved_ like the lot of you couldn't.” Tully wished he could frame the look on Happy's face; shock that Tully confessed his love for the younger man so easily. “And if you do that, when he does get out, I'll raze that little Charming town to the ground. Stick the Sons' heads on pikes as a warning.” There was no way he couldn't, honestly. Enough people paid and you could raise an army with no problem. And plenty of people had been screwed by the Sons of Anarchy they might not even need to be paid. “I'll ignore your upset. This time.” Tully stood again. “Mostly.” He kicked out again, satisfied when he connected with Happy's head and the man went unconscious. A final insult, and Tully bent to wipe his face and hands on Happy's shirt. “I'm done here.” 

Froggy quickly checked Happy to make sure he was alive, and then made it to the door just as it opened. Just in case it was someone coming to Happy's rescue; the muscle was going to be there first. But it wasn't, it was McManus and the other guard, come to collect them and call for medical.

Tully was careful to hide the majority of the blood on his hands as he was cuffed, but he otherwise didn't consider where his body was as he thought. He had to make the announcement  _tonight,_ after he returned. Good thing he had a meeting scheduled with Luis already, though Tully was still furious that Jeff had contacted the other man before Mickey asked for the meeting. “God _damnit_ .” Tully growled, startling the other three men. 

“Easy Tully.” McManus murmured, but the shot-caller couldn't settle. He squirmed against the cuffs, thinking again of how he'd been betrayed. By his ally and his boss both. Who else could have been in on it; Tully had no idea and the thought made him start to rage again.

“Mon amie, Tully.” Theirry piped up, trying to pull Tully out of his fighting head space before he did something embarrassing. “We'll take care of this, oui? 'Ave a chat with Luis, and Jeff and--”

Tully interrupted him with a bark of a laugh he couldn't keep from bubbling up. “ _I_ won't do anything. Like I told Happy, I'm too old for this.” The shot-caller dropped his head and shook it. “Retirement. Asked Mickey to take over before the riot.” And even with his anger at being forced to go forward, Tully still had some sense of relief. He was done, officially. Just a hand off left. More laughter that he didn't back, and he knew McManus was looking and wondering if Tully was about to get violent again. But no; it was just funny to him that his last real act as the boss was to beat a man. He half-twisted and looked with one eye to the guard. No doubt his face was still reddened with Happy's blood, even if he'd wiped it. “Mickey's boss now.” He turned back still chuckling. Considering yet again how to break the news to the rest of them. 

They walked the corridors in silence. It felt longer than before, though they took the exact same route as they had going down. It must have been the drying blood and his circling thoughts making time work funny. Part of him wanted to be over-dramatic about it, to shout it from the rooftops that he was free from responsibility. And he's going to fuck Juice all he wants, now leave him alone and give it all to Mickey. But the more rational part won out, and he'd decided on a speech by the time they made it to the block.

He remained quiet except for the occasional chuckle to himself until he was standing in front of Mickey's cell, with Theirry being shut into his own cell. Mickey was giving him an odd look, and Tully realized that he'd been getting a bigger and bigger grin during the entire trip back. It was very nearly maniacal by this point and he had to pull it back. “Well?” He held up his hands, wiggling his fingers to indicate that he needed to be released. Tully had to ignore how he could almost _feel_ Juice's eyes burrowing into the back of his skull as he shifted from his cleaning to lean on the bars. Tully doubted he'd stopped during the time he was gone, but they could address that later.

The guard looked skeptical, but they both knew he could best Tully in a fight so he let the man go. “Thank you.” Tully looked at Mickey again, and folded his arms with a small smirk, having reined in his crazy smile. “It was an enlightening class.”

“I can tell. Missed a spot of paint.” Mickey gestured to a spot under his chin. “What did you learn?” He folded his arms too, fixing Tully with a stare.

Tully wiped, checking his fingers. In his younger years he might have licked them for the intimidation factor, and had he not had things to do he was giddy enough to do it now. “We've been betrayed. Mm,” Tully corrected himself, hearing quiet gasps and seeing his second stiffen, “I have, rather. Turns out Jeff contacted Luis.” Fuck being coy, they were all alone. “He doesn't like my timetable. I have to move it up to tonight. I'm retiring, gentlemen.”

Mickey gaped at him. It was a funny face for him to make. “How did you--”

“Happy.” Tully didn't speak loudly but judging by the squeak Juice had still heard him. He twisted slightly. “You know he's bilingual?”

Juice muttered a curse and Tully heard him start to pace. Tully couldn't take too long with this, even as he wanted to be a drama queen. “Anyway. Does anyone have any objection to my retirement?” More gasps and there was suddenly a shitload more noise. Tully slightly rolled his eyes, feeling in the middle of a circus. “It's rhetorical. I'm doing it regardless. Any objections to Mickey taking over?” Despite the cacophony still there from Tully's declaration, they were still able to hear him over it. And now it sounded positive, more or less. It was rare for a peaceful transition of power; so rare that Tully was making it up as he went. The other inmates were going along with it, so it must have been good enough for them. What Tully wanted to do now was get back to Juice. He had a lot of explaining to do. “Good. Mickey, we'll still meet with Luis as planned. Let him know I'll be stepping back,” Tully considered, “actually nothing has changed. We're not going to let him know that we know he was told. Not this second, anyway. Tomorrow.” He paused now, and then spoke again once they were quiet. “Another note. Regardless of my personal feelings on the matter, I won't be making a move on Jeff. I'm sure a few of you are considering it. Feelin' as betrayed as I am, for talkin' to Luis like this.” Tully had slipped into his accent, and he reined it in. The last thing he wanted, really, was for anyone to declare war on the head of the Aryan Brotherhood. “Forget it. He's still the boss.”

Mickey finally spoke up. In his voice was an edge, a power that Tully hadn't heard. The shot-caller now stood in front of him. “Don't fuck with the guy. That's an order.” He glared at Tully, which almost made the older man laugh. He'd just said he wasn't going to. It was a play, though. Cementing his power for the others. Mickey wasn't being disrespectful, at least no more than Tully might have been in his place.

So Tully just nodded. “Got it.... boss.” _That_ felt weird. He'd get used to it, though, no doubt. Maybe he'd even get used to not responding when someone said it. Tully shrugged. “Mickey I need to talk to the Scot. Loathe as I am to admit it, Lucky did us a favor. Did me one. Have to give his President a heads up.” Among other things. And he was back to using Happy's other name. The right one, in this place.

“I'll get you a burner.” The other man's gaze flicked behind Tully, and he spoke quietly now. Letting the sounds of the other inmates cover what he said next. “Handle your business.” Like Mickey knew what was going to come next, he pulled Jeff's letter out from the poetry book and slipped it to Tully through the bars. McManus rose an eyebrow, but said nothing; Mickey was going to be the next one “randomly” searched no doubt.

Juice was obviously in a bad sort, so Tully took the letter and gestured for McManus to get his cell door open. Tully stepped through when it did. “You....what?” Juice stared at him from his bed. “I don't understand.” He looked lost, and Tully wanted to pull him close. But, at the same time, he realized he had a literal mess on his hands that had to get taken care of. So he crossed the cell, setting the note on their desk, and started washing his hands. He didn't ignore Juice, keeping an ear towards the too-still man. This was just the ritual; he washed away evidence and considered what had just happened. That he'd done what he should have done weeks ago, handed the responsibility over. Tully was still enraged that Jeff had forced his hand, but nothing to be done about it now. Nuke would be pleased, when he found out, that Jeff cared. After all Happy had said that it was his attack that goaded Jeff into a second contact with Luis.

Tully straightened, turning off the water. He could see the movements, the low rumble of the other inmates as Mickey ordered them about for one reason or another. “I'm retiring.” Tully dried his hands, watching his boy. Juice had brought his knees to his chest with his arms wrapped around them. Making himself a small ball, trying to feel safe and comfort himself. Tully picked the letter up again; the one that changed his life course so many weeks ago and crossed the room. He held it out wordlessly and finally understood why his boy, his beloved, was looking so very frightened. Thinking Tully was abandoning him. Leaving the Brotherhood, and leaving him _to_ the Brotherhood. Never, never in a thousand years would Tully do that. Juice needed to understand.

So something unwound from his chest when Juice took it from him to open it with minutely trembling hands. Tully didn't have to keep this secret any longer. At this point the matter was closed. Only details remained, ones that didn't really require his input. Just, at best, his mere presence and acceptance. Tully was brought out of his thoughts again by the sound Juice made. “You're giving it up instead of...” Juice dropped the letter on the floor and stared at him with those wide brown eyes. “You didn't tell me.” Then his boy leaned over to pick the letter up; always wanting, needing their space to be clean. He held it out to Tully, but then stood up looking to set it on the desk himself. He was quiet as he crossed the cell and back, but he stopped near the middle. Juice looked at him again and swallowed. Waiting for Tully to speak.

“I wanted it to be a surprise. For a little later than this, I'm sorry.” Tully stepped closer, but Juice flinched so he stopped. His boy, his lover, was now looking positively pale. “Juice?”

Tully stepped forward again, quick enough to catch Juice as his knees gave out from under him. “You didn't. Tully, you didn't.” Juice clung to him; under the older man's hands Juice's heart was going a mile a minute. “Not for me.” He whispered before he finally stood straight and pulled away from Tully's embrace. He stumbled back onto his bunk and sat down, pulling his legs to his chest once more.

Tully was confused. He looked over at the door, with notes passed between inmates flying past it. Mickey no doubt was orchestrating them. Handling his business as much as Tully was. Juice was still shaking his head unbelievably, eyes wide and staring. Other than that, he hadn't moved. Tully finally followed him, and despite his protesting knees he knelt down in front of Juice on the floor. Neutral, safe, his lover above him. “Juice. Talk to me.” Not an order, more a plea.

Juice shook his head. “I'm not w-worth it Tully. Y-you can't give th-this up for me.” His boy sniffled and apparently couldn't look Tully in the eye.

It hurt his heart to hear him. “Shh. I get to make that choice. Not you. And you _are_ worth it _my_ boy.” Tully tentatively reached for Juice's fingers to stroke them. They were warm with stress despite Juice's shivering. “You're still safe, baby.” Now he smiled up at him, trying for calming and lighthearted. Enforcing that Juice didn't have anything to worry about. “I still get to treat you so good.”

Another head-shake. Tully waited to let Juice try and express himself; gather the words that were having a hard time coming. “S-sorry.” That damn stuttering. His free hand came up and rubbed the ink on his forearm, now just a black blob but had once been the Sons' reaper. Juice stared down at it, trying to blink away tears. “Y-you don't know.” Then Tully understood. He was giving up what Juice had been forced out of, like Tully didn't understand _exactly_ he was leaving behind. Now Juice whimpered, a couple of those tears dropping down. “Jus' a punk. D-don't do this f'r me. They're your f-family, they won't help you i-if you need it. Not worth it.”

“No.” The fierceness and anger of it surprised even himself. He sat up now, reaching and pulling Juice's chin up to look at him. “You're not _just_ a punk, Juice. I love you, and you are worth it. I'm not, you're not, being left in the cold. I'm just stepping back.” Now Tully released him to stroke his cheek. “Retiring. Spend time with you, my sweet. Take it easy. I should have done it a long time ago, Juice, but I didn't have a reason.” Tully kept holding Juice's hand as he spoke, hoping the younger man would hear _him_ and not whatever the demons in his head were saying. “Will's my family, baby boy, and he's behind me on this.” He gave a slight gesture, vague, towards the cell door. “They're still my friends, they would have said so if they didn't like the course of action. And,” his boy liked information, so Tully would give it. “Last time I discussed retirement, hypothetically at the time, with Jeff, he mentioned something about a pension.” More gentle kisses to his knuckles. “Like I said I can still spoil you. And myself.” Tully smiled, a real one. The one he saved for Juice and Will.

And thank god Juice gave it back to him. Tiny, and his eyes were still watery, but a smile. He sniffled, and wiped his face with his free hand. “Hold me?”

What else could Tully do? It had been a long, crappy day and this was all _he_ wanted to do too. He nodded and untangled his fingers. “Mickey?” Juice's voice was shaky still and he pointed for Tully to look. Mickey was clearly staring at them, waiting for Tully to get done with Juice. “'Grats on the promotion?” Juice gave him a small smile too, though maybe less genuine and more properly exhausted. He sniffled too, and before Tully got onto his bunk he grabbed the toilet paper off of the toilet.

“Welcome, Pit. Gonna need your order rather sooner than later.” Mickey, though gruff, seemed to know what to say. Assure Juice that he'd still be needed by the Brotherhood. “Tully, I got those meetings set up. The one with Luis is still the first. I'll get you a timetable on the rest.”

“Thank you.” Tully climbed onto the bunk. Before he let Juice cling to him he held up the toilet paper to his nose. “Blow.” Like he might a child; but Juice only blushed and did as he was told. When he was done, Tully easily tossed it into the toilet. It wasn't that he cared about Juice's sniffles, but his boy would be more comfortable that way. He wrapped his arms around his lover once Juice settled against him. “I've got you. Long as you're here, I've got you, sweet boy.” Then Tully placed a few kisses on the top of his head, hands gently stroking while they kept Juice close to him. “No one, not even the bosses c'n take me from you.” Another kiss. “Or you from me.”

For a moment Tully thought that Juice was okay, but then he shuddered, sniffling into his shoulder and clearly biting back a whine. “C-can't promise that.”

Juice had to be tired, his emotions being so all over the place. “I can't promise anything, ever.” Tully squeezed him. “But as much as I can, we'll stay together.” His boy took yet another big deep sigh that hiccuped at the end, and then buried his face against Tully. The older man just kept talking. Juice needed the assurance, obviously. “Love you, beautiful. I know you're overwhelmed.” Probably more than he was showing, and another sniffle confirmed it. “They're not kicking me out of the Brotherhood. Just letting Mickey do the paperwork. Lucky man, hm?”

Juice huffed, a small laugh. Very small, but genuine and Tully took it as a good sign. “Sure?” Now the boy was talking again, so even better even if he was glued to Tully's side.

“Of? That they aren't going to abandon me?” Tully squeezed him, softening how blunt he'd been. “Mmhm. This is _technically_ voluntary, beautiful. Even if I'd rather it have taken another week.” Tully couldn't keep the grump out of his voice. “But like I said. My men are okay with it. I'm just not the boss.” Which was really the difference between them. Juice had lost membership, Tully hadn't. Retirement meant that he wasn't going to be making any decisions, but if push came to shove Tully could call on them for help. And they could in turn consult him for advice. He could call himself AB.

“Leaving.”

Ah. “Yes. I'm sure.” Giving up the power would be a change, but he was certain it was the right course.

Juice nodded against him. “Kay.” There was something in his voice about it that Tully couldn't place. It rose the hair on the back of his neck up, instincts coming up to warn him of danger. But pushing Juice would only end with more tears and frustration. So Tully just very gently held his boy, still quietly reassuring him until McManus came up and gestured for Tully to approach. The older man could see the burner phone so he kissed the top of Juice's head before he untangled himself to shimmy out of the bunk. Almost immediately Tully heard Juice sniffle and whimper, so he just stayed out of bed long enough to grab the phone. He rose his hand in thanks to the guard, but it was Mickey's job to deal with payment, now.

He sat back and Juice immediately hugged close. Tully was still puzzled by his beautiful boy's behavior, but he couldn't exactly examine it now. He could only attempt to make the boy happy, and content enough to sleep. “Tully.”

“D'ye know what time it is?” The Scot was clearly irritated and Tully could hear slurring on top of his normal accent. Drinking, probably. Juice had his head low practically buried in Tully's shirt. Maybe not wanting to hear. Tully started to rub Juice's back, trying to be relaxing. “What d'ye wan'?” There was a growl and the sound of liquid shifting in a bottle.

The former shot-caller held his tongue from saying something rude about Chibs' chosen activity. Getting drunk, while Juice suffered and no doubt his club was in shambles. Tully focused on the warmth in his lap instead, tracing small hearts on his back though he avoided the sensitive spots. “I am aware. I just had a meeting with your man Happy.”

Silence on the other end, but Tully did hear the thunk of that bottle being set down. “Yes, he's still alive.” Tully realized he was still sitting on his makeshift brass knuckles and moved enough to pull it out of his pocket. He set it down behind him, where Juice couldn't see the blood still on it. “In fact he was quite helpful to me. Unfortunately that might come at a cost to you.” Tully went back to petting his boy. Juice was tense again, listening despite himself.

“What....” The Scot didn't speak very loudly. “What d'ye mean?” His voice was even and not shaking with rage, so that was a positive. “What danger is he in?”

Tully contemplated the best way to tell him, and settled on bluntly. “He fed me information from Luis Alvarez.” He wouldn't give too many details in an open line, with people that wasn't Juice maybe listening. He did know where the President's tender spots were, though, and saying it out loud for Juice would help. “Which I needed to protect my very dearest love.” Wasn't even a lie.

Chibs' sputtering was kind of amusing and he might have soaked in it but Tully just continued over it so that Chibs couldn't get a word in edgewise. “On a related note, I'm taking retirement. The man you've spoken to previously, Mickey, is taking my place and I'm sure he'll contact you at a later period to properly introduce himself.” Now from the other end of the line was the sound of a drink being spit out and then Chibs coughing. Tully couldn't help but smirk at the response. He wasn't going to get used to that anytime soon, that shock from other people who knew him. How much of his identity was tied up in being a shot-caller. Good thing there would be plenty of upcoming opportunities to tell them he was stepping back. Tully waited while Chibs got under control, checking in on Juice. The young man was starting to really relax now, finally. His heartbeat had even slowed down.

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.” Chibs finally managed. “Ye love 'im tha' much, eh?” He'd apparently pieced bits of it together. Smart man. Either that, or he was just stunned that Tully had admitted it to him out loud. “What did Hap want?” There was a steel edge to his voice. Anger, maybe, with his brother? Tully couldn't read it through voice alone. “He don' do things like tha' f'r free.”

Of course not. No sane man did. “I'm _vouching_ for him now.” Tully chuckled and his fingers once more started to trace patterns on Juice's back. He pressed deeper, looking for knots because despite Tully's back rub the previous day they'd returned as tight as ever. His boy hissed quietly, brows knitting together in pain and concern about what Tully was saying. Tully switched to stroking his cheeks, looking down at him. He loved this man and felt bad that for politics' sake he was assisting his attacker. His abusers in general; that's what the Club had been, abusive. For years. “I talked to the Pimp.”

A beat. “Ah. Ah see.” More silence. “An' yer tellin' me that he's probably marked f'r snitchin' to ye. Idiot costin' m'club money. Both o' ye.” It was muttered, but not quiet enough Tully to not hear. Drunkard. He need a slap to wake him up. Remind him who he was speaking to.

“Not snitching.” Tully clenched his jaw. “He was assisting an ally, which we _still are_.” He made himself take a breath and calm down. This was all Mickey's problem now. “Luis can probably be monetarily persuaded to keep him alive until you bring it to your men about his membership.”

Juice whimpered again, his hold on Tully tightening so he brought the phone away from his mouth. He bent over, kissing the top of Juice's head and using his physical closeness to calm his boy down. “That's all I wished to tell you. Do what you will with it.” He'd done his part; he told the Scot his recommendation for Happy to return to the Club, and gave him a head's up on the man's possible fate here. Tully wanted, needed nothing more than to just take care of Juice. Juice needed him too, and sooner than later.

“Wait.”

“Yes?” Tully rose an eyebrow Chibs couldn't see. He'd moved his kissing slightly down Juice's scalp.

“Is Juice there? C'n I talk to 'im?” Gentleness in his voice, now, mixed with apprehension.

Instead of answering right away Tully covered the mouthpiece. “He wants to talk to you.” Now _he_ spoke softly. Whichever decision Juice decided to make, Tully would support him and he hoped that came through in his voice to Juice.

Juice chewed his lip, searching Tully for an answer. The older man couldn't give it to him, though. It would have to be his decision alone. Another long minute where Tully could hear Chibs breathing and the occasional splashing of the liquor bottle, and finally Juice sat up all the way and nodded. The shot-caller looked at him, marveling at his strength. He didn't know where Juice pulled it from. Yes he'd wanted to talk to Chibs but he didn't have to. Not after this shitty day. “Here.” He said quietly into the burner before he handed it over. Tully leaned back, resting against the wall and giving Juice the option to move further away. To take the privacy that he was being offered, if he wished.

He didn't, just moved with him to maintain that body contact with Tully. “H-hey.” Juice was soft into the phone, and with his free hand he reached for one of Tully's. “Hi Chibs.”

Tully laced his fingers through Juice's, not eavesdropping on the other end of the conversation. Just his baby boy's; he could infer what the other man said from Juice. “I'm okay. No, real good.” A tiny smile from the boy, and his cheeks reddened. “Yes, he's still good to me.” Juice squeezed Tully's fingers. “I'm happy, yeah.” That was shakier, and then Juice frowned. “I ain't made any decisions, I've got two years. Still got my place there.” He sighed and his jaw clenched, then unclenched. “Miss you too. I dunno, I'll see what he says. Gi-give it some time to calm down here. Lotta shit's up in the air.” Juice brought his hand up, and Tully's, to wipe his eyes. “I sh-should go too. D-don't leave the Clubhouse, Chibby. Promise me you'll call Tig for a ride. _Promise._ ” He paused a long moment, then almost whispered with his voice full of hurt. “Thank you. L-love you too. Night.” Juice hung it up and handed the phone back to Tully, wiping his eyes again. “Sorry.”

He got up briefly so that McManus could grab the burner, and then he sat again. Tully pulled Juice close and the young man sniffled again. “He's really drunk. And by himself. It's not good.” Juice sighed and squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed them. “Wants to see me. Told him he should wait. But I doubt he'll remember in the morning even asking.” Tully just listened; it was so rare for him to open up about any of the Sons specifically, and especially Chibs. “I wanna hate him, Tully. He deserves it. Told me to eat my gun, before I tried to jump the border. Tried, cuz Alvarez returned me back t'Jax. But that...telling me to kill myself...” A couple of tears fell, and Tully reached this time to brush them from his cheeks. “He knew I've tried before. I wo-woulda if...” If he hadn't have been caught, Tully understood and nodded when Juice's words failed. His boy gave him a very grateful smile, even if it was small. “But that was the last thing he said t'me as my b-brother. And did you hear me jus' then? Made him promise he wouldn' ride fucked up.” Another deep sigh from the boy, sagging on Tully. “I'm so tired, Papi.”

Himself too. He would consider deeper what Juice had said but not right away. “We've both had a long day. Put on your PJs and we'll sleep in tomorrow.” Tully declared. Though gentle it was still an order. “Juice? Love?” He waited until Juice's red eyes were on him. “You care, beautiful boy. No shame in that. You're the better person. I love you for it.” He chuckled and then gave Juice another kiss. “Not just for that, but it's one of the reasons.”

Juice smiled at him again, sitting up to return the kiss on Tully's lips. “I love you too.” He murmured before he stood to get his pajamas on. His pants at least. Tully watched as he pulled the regulation top off, revealing the tank beneath which as usual remained on. Juice began to brush his teeth which prompted Tully to stand and start getting ready for bed as well. The chaos outside had died down, finally, though no doubt the others were still gossiping. Worse than high school girls sometimes, but what else did inmates have to do? “Mkay.” Juice murmured again stepping back from the sink. He dabbed at his face with a towel, having splashed it with cool water before he flushed the tissues from earlier away. Tully was then able to brush his teeth too, watching his beautiful boy in the mirror. His boy picked up the Tolkien, and then set it down choosing to just lay on his bunk. Facing Tully, instead of his usual towards the wall. “Love you.” Juice repeated.

“Love you too, baby.” Of course before he could finish the lights shut off and Tully had to climb into bed in the dark. He didn't bother with a shirt for once. Juice needed the skin contact. “I got you.” Juice pressed in closer and he tucked his face against Tully's neck, giving a little kiss there too. Juice hadn't turned around yet but Tully didn't blame him nor did he make him move. “Not tomorrow, but the day after. We're going for a date.” Tully decided as they adjusted so that he could hug Juice close to him. His boy needed him, he needed his boy. “Dinner, me and you?” He kissed the top of Juice's head again.

Juice returned it on his collarbone, and nodded. “Okay. Love you.”

He was saying it with a greater frequency than normal; and 'normal' was already a lot for Juice. And he just didn't sound nearly as enthusiastic as always when Tully invited him for a date. Maybe he was tired, but Tully wasn't sure what was still wrong. He somehow kept the worry out of his voice. “Love you too. Get some sleep, baby. I've still got you.” After that assurance, Tully decided to give his boy more. “Sleep in. If we miss breakfast, I'll take care of it.” Juice nodded against him and pressed closer, not quite pushing Tully off the bunk though the danger was there. Tully waited until his boy's breathing evened out before he let himself relax and scoot them closer to the center of the bed. While he hovered on the edge of sleep Tully just thought. He was done. Jeff would have to be contacted, Tully's pension and other retirement perks arranged. He could do that in a couple of days, when things were settled here.

“Sure?” Juice mumbled. “Leaving.” The boy wasn't all the way asleep any more than Tully had been.

“Yeah, baby. Go back to sleep.” Tully waited until again, Juice had passed out and then he drifted off as well.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content/Trigger Warning: Suicide attempt, Self harm

It was good Tully had decided to sleep in. Every few hours Juice would wake up, either with a nightmare or a quiet “Are you sure?”

Tully didn't mind answering. His boy needed the reassurance. The promise. Tully supposed it was partly the his anxiety that made him think about it even while sleeping. The worry was enough to wake him up and need to hear it again. Tully could manage that. The nightmares were harder, because he couldn't _do_ anything about them. A soothing “shh” or a light backrub got Juice to wake up enough for them to stop but soon after falling back asleep Juice would start whimpering again.

Finally the boy opened his eyes all the way and tilted his head back to be able to look into Tully's eyes. “Maybe you should go back up to your bunk.” Juice's gaze dropped and he sighed. “Don't think 'm getting any sleep.”

Tully wanted to object, but Juice shook his head and continued. “I don't want you to go without, Papi.” He was speaking softly, making sure everyone stayed asleep, and because Tully doubted he could manage louder. He tried to give Tully _that_ smile. “It's your first day of retirement, you c-can't be tired for it. I'll be okay. I'm used to it.” Even in the dim light Tully could see the sadness in those beautiful brown eyes. He shouldn't have to be used to being alone, for spending his nights awake for the thoughts in his mind. “Please, Papi.” Juice was squeezing him harder around the middle even as he quietly pleaded now and his eyes started to water. “I h-hate keeping you up.”

It was going to kill Tully, but he nodded. “Shhh, baby shh. Okay.” His heart ached, but he knew he was being unreasonable and selfish wanting Juice to remain in his arms. He did understand Juice's need to try and take care of him in what little ways he could. And really, it was good for the boy to be able to not need him at every moment of the day. Or night as the case may be. Tully finally wiggled until he could properly tilt Juice's chin up. He kissed him, light and gentle, not to arouse just to assure Juice of his love regardless of what was going on in Juice's head. It was slow and emotional; a passion they rarely showed or shared in the light of day. He nuzzled him and gave Juice a parting peck to his nose. “Don't read in bed, there's not enough light. Your eyes will go bad.” It sounded like a nagging mother, Tully knew, but he also knew that Juice was likely to do just that if he didn't say something. And no small part of him had to try and make his love laugh.

The boy huffed quietly. Close enough. “Yes, Papi.” He hummed as Tully stroked his head and then freed himself from Juice's hold. “I love you.” Juice spoke quietly from his bunk before Tully climbed into his own.

Maybe just to hear him respond. Tully always would. “Love you too.” The older man settled into his bunk, facing to watch as his boy crossed the cell to grab a book. His blanket was over his shoulders, maybe as a comfort or maybe just in case he fell asleep again. But before Juice sat down he returned to his bunk and ducked under it. The former shot-caller was curious, but only for a moment before he was greeted with a face-full of pillow. His own pillow; it pretty much had a permanent place with Juice on his bunk now. Of course he'd forgotten it. “Thank you, baby.” Tully tucked it under himself so he could more comfortably keep an eye on his boy. Juice lowered himself to the ground between the desk and the bars where it was the most well-lit. He could lean and rest against the bars too if it came down to it. It seemed to Tully like he had one of his computer books to work on, so he just let himself fall back asleep. Assured that his sweet boy was alright even if it wasn't ideal.

He was next woken up by the sounds of breakfast. Or at least his fellow inmates gearing up for it and being let out. Juice was still on the floor though he was talking up at someone. “Just couldn't sleep, Mickey. 'M fine.” Juice now looked up to Tully, smiling briefly. “He's awake now. We going to breakfast?”

“Mmhm. Might as well.” Tully sat up as much as he could and climbed out of his bunk. He held out a hand for Juice to take so he could stand too. His sweet beloved boy didn't need to be on the floor any longer than necessary, and he couldn't help but pull Juice into a brief kiss. In front of everyone because who actually _cared_ about his reputation? Tully certainly didn't. Not anymore.

Juice gave him the smallest smile against his lips and wrapped his arms around Tully's waist. “Was worried you'd be mad.” Juice confessed, blushing as he rested his head on his chest. “But you're not.”

Tully shook his head. Of course his boy would be concerned. “No. I'm glad you're taking care of yourself, baby.” Another kiss on the top of Juice's scalp before he once more released him so they could both quickly get ready. “Even if I missed you.”

“You're cute when you sleep. Eep!” His boy actually squeaked with Tully's pinch to his backside, and that drew laughter from the waiting men. “He sounds like a cat having a dream.” Juice went to brush his teeth just as Tully finished. The older man beamed at his back; Juice seemed to be feeling better. What sleep he _had_ gotten must have helped his mood. Tully didn't think about how he'd spent some of the night on the floor away from him. The makeshift brass knuckles been hidden on the underside of the desk; Tully slipped them into his back pocket when there wasn't eyes on him. Juice no doubt had moved the weapon to hide it with no questions asked. Tully had to remember to apologize for not handling it himself. His boy didn't need that kind of burden on his heart.

The former shot-caller followed Juice out of their cell as usual though he was ready to shift his place depending on where Mickey wanted to be. As long as Juice was at his side, he'd be fine. Mickey glanced to the pair of them and gestured. He'd take Tully's place; make it very clear that it was a peaceful transition of power. Juice would have to be on Tully's other side, then, with someone new behind him.

Tully was about to comment but Juice just slotted in where he was supposed to with that big smile of his. He did glance behind him which prompted Tully too also. Goddamnit, it was David. He narrowed his eyes but Juice just reached and briefly entwined his fingers with Tully's. It gave the older man a moment to consider; looked like the drugs had kicked Dave's ass last night. Or maybe it was something else, because he didn't flinch when the pair held hands. In fact Dave just lightly tapped Tully on the shoulder when they started moving. “Should be th' rest.” He set the chits into Tully's palm. He didn't owe more; perhaps Dave was covering any further rudeness and giving Juice the amphetamines. Then Dave shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Hey don't slouch.” Juice had a tone between amused and sweet, and Tully was reminded that Nuke told his boy the same thing. “You're a proud fuckin' white dude, right?” Juice turned back around to face forward, clearly trying to remain relaxed. It occurred to the former shot-caller that Juice was assuring _himself_ as much as he was assuring David. Telling himself that this man was okay to be behind him, that he wasn't going to be hurt. Tully gave Juice's fingers a squeeze just before they started off.

It was disconcerting to be at this angle, to be so close to the edge of the group of inmates instead of at the center. Tully just had to remember it was ultimately for his lover at his side as much as it was for his own comfort for whatever time he had left here.

Juice untangled his fingers from Tully; or at least he _tried_. Tully didn't let him even as they emerged into the cafeteria. He didn't care who saw them together. Not anymore, he was with his boy and he didn't have the stresses of running the Aryan Brotherhood. Tully did have a certain standard of behavior but for today, he threw it out. It was like the first day of summer after a brutal school year. Routines would be re-established but today was just for fucking around. Tully only separated from Juice when Pearson gave them a glare and a gesture to do so. The double take and the look on her face when she actually realized what their particular arrangement meant was totally worth the temporary separation. Even Juice giggled seeing her. It was only the beginning too.

Going through the line, there was sputters, more double takes, and surprised curses around them. Mickey grumbled about it, but Juice just couldn't stop snickering. It made Tully's heart light and he couldn't help his own smile. His boy was feeling better. “You'd think they'd never seen someone give up th' gavel.”

“They haven't.” Mickey said bluntly as they sat. They took their usual places, though if people came over the empty seat would be made in front of Mickey and they'd talk to him. They'd made enough of a statement coming in; hopefully people would switch protocol easily and without argument. “Did a number on him, Tully.” Mickey pointed out, making the other man look over to Luis' table. How the hell Happy was _there_ Tully couldn't imagine. He'd left him unconscious, with a concussion or worse. Happy was sitting stiffly as he ate, with black eyes and a slightly crooked nose but he was upright.

Juice's eyes got big and he practically choked. “I've never seen him lose....” He spoke quietly and in awe. Again there was a tone not usually in his voice, at least not in public. Tully placed it in a second. His boy, Juice was _turned on_.

Of all the things, this was it? “Seriously?” Tully growled in response. And he was not asking about Happy's win/lose streak.

“Um, no.” Juice swallowed and stuffed his face again with something off of his tray. He was blushing all the way to his scalp, though, and Tully felt the prickles in his gut. They grew as Juice's hand dropped down to tentatively pet his thigh. In case Tully had missed the signals he was giving off, it seemed. “N-never.” Then his hand yanked away and the smile faded into a fear grin. “P-pearson.”

Damn, he was going to kill her. Tully glared at the guard. He did hold his tongue somehow. Her hovering over them was Mickey's problem, after all. Though it might be more of a test for him. Could Tully keep his mouth shut even when Juice was being antagonized, _and_ they were horny? Or it might have been just bad timing; it didn't matter. Tully shifted to cross his legs, mostly to get his semi to recede. He was going to drag Juice outside so he could please the boy, after this interruption. If Juice wanted to hero-worship Tully so much as to risk being seen then Tully would oblige him. “Yes?” Mickey growled at her too.

“Wanted to give you some more information on your man.” The table went quiet. At least they knew then she was here for something useful. It was just bad timing, not her hassling them personally. “Mr. Fleischer. He's likely to be back in a week or so. Really quite remarkable how fortunate he was. Aside from his paralysis, he only has minor injuries.” She looked at all of them; Juice had been gone much longer. So really, Nuke _had_ been extremely lucky. “You didn't hear it from me but they're considering putting him in the hospital wing.” That she was saying it so openly meant prison administration knew and approved. A power play of some kind, for reasons Tully couldn't quite see. Tully glanced to Mickey and his second, no his shot-caller, was clearly thinking the same thing.

Regardless Tully and the rest of the table groaned their disapproval. “That's what I thought.” Pearson folded her arms. “I'll see what I can do about putting him back in gen pop, if you can handle it.”

Both Tully and Micky apparently rose their eyebrow in the same way, because for one moment she looked a little bewildered and shook her head to clear it. Then Mickey actually spoke. “Of course we can. We managed before with his _mental_ deficiencies, didn't we?” A rumble of laughter from the table though Juice just bit his lip. His shyness was back and Tully wanted to hold him. “A wheelchair ain't nothing.”

The men nodded. As Tully had explained to Juice before, it really wasn't a problem. It would give them a useful place to hide drugs or weapons or anything else; Nuke would still be needed. Finally Pearson moved away though not without a final glance between Mickey and Tully. “What was that about?” Juice murmured quietly. His hand did creep down again below the table to find Tully's once more. At least he hadn't entirely withdrawn, like Tully thought. The older man gave his hand a squeeze and then released it so Juice could wander again. He certainly wasn't going to argue with the sudden return of the boy's libido.

Breakfast went uneventfully after that. Except for Juice's soft pets on his lap that had Tully almost choking on his orange juice before he growled to put a stop to it. Tully was going to give everyone a lewd view already, he couldn't have them see him cumming in his pants on top of that. Juice though looked just a little smug even as he brought his hand back up for the rest of the meal.

They finally got up and Tully was mostly decent at that point. A dick print was slightly visible, but only if a person was looking and that was easy enough to fix. Tully just pulled Juice in front of him. At the same time Tully looked to see how his boy was affected, because he _had_ to have been.

The little fucking tease had his tray just conveniently blocking Tully's view. “Papi....” Juice mumbled, whiny and needy. “That corner. The one you promised.” He took Tully's tray and set them both down, still keeping his back to the taller man. “Can we?”

Like hell Tully would deny him. “Go with Mickey for a minute.” The former shot-caller whispered in his ear. He had to go make those arrangements _right now_. He waited until Juice's back was retreating with the rest of the Brotherhood, and then he made a beeline to the guard overseeing the yard. When he saw Tully, he couldn't help but smile just a little bit, because Tully was always good for money.

It didn't take very long for the pair of them to negotiate, and shortly after that the former shot-caller was whistling as he went outside. This yard time, what was left of it anyway, Juice and Tully would be alone in the corner to do whatever they pleased. Hopefully Juice would still be up for it; Tully certainly was. He found his boy quickly, currently slowly squatting down, a bar on his shoulders and a plate at each end. Theirry was at one side, Dave on the other both spotting for him. It wasn't the normal way to spot someone who was squatting, but Juice couldn't manage that still. His men had just worked around that and it made Tully smile as he approached them. “Go easy on your knees.” Juice was down low, ass to grass like he was supposed to. And it was a very beautiful ass.

Juice just gave him that smile as he pressed upwards just as controlled as he had before. “I am easy on my knees.” His cheeks pinked, but he knew exactly what he was saying and that he _wanted_ to say it. He racked the bar, shaking out the kink in his neck before he crossed his arms at his chest. Tully noted that he wasn't very sweaty, he must not have been working out that much. Or perhaps his shirt just covered it. “Goin' for a walk?” He looked at Tully, and at his nod he glanced to the other AB. Those men were smirking, knowing what was actually going to happen. “Thanks guys.”

His boy followed Tully, and he slowed down his long gait to allow Juice to keep up. Easily they sauntered onto the walking track, staying on the outside of it like they would if they were actually lazily meandering around in circles. Really, it _was_ a casual walk. Bumping shoulders with his lover when they weren't explicitly being watched. It was a companionable silence between them, with the undercurrent of arousal as well. Anticipation. They curved around away from the prison, on the straight stretch further away from the buildings. But instead of following the track Tully wandered onto the grass. He could see where they were headed, a small corner formed by the fence running up against one of the prison administration buildings. It had been bad design, but they compensated with patrols. Until a prisoner paid them off. “Don't get too close to the fence.” Tully warned. “They're a little twitchy sometimes even if they know we're supposed to be here.”

Juice laughed, a little tight with it though. “We'd get a warning shot, though? Th' rubber ones hurt but...”

“Sometimes.” Tully bluntly spoke but he looked over, drawing his hand on top of Juice's spine soothing. “Depends on what kind of trouble the prisoners as a whole have been causing.” He throbbed in his pants despite the danger of it, or maybe because of it. Tully reached now and took Juice's hand, squeezing it briefly. “No thinking of that right now.” He let go. “Tell me where you want my cock, sweet boy.”

His boy shuddered and quietly whined. “My ass, Papi. I know you th-think we gotta prepare every time but I want it now...Want your cum runnin' down my thighs.” Juice reached for Tully's hand now, clearly not _wanting_ to let him go. “Please?”

Tully wouldn't ever be able to deny him, not when he sounded like that, and fortunately they had reached the tucked away spot anyway. He gently dragged Juice into the cove, and pinned him to the wall there. It was a fierce, hungry kiss that Tully gave him and Juice returned it, wrapping his arms around Tully's shoulders. He opened his mouth, sliding his tongue along Tully's lips ever so slightly to invite him in.

They didn't have that much time, but Tully still indulged his boy, pressing his own tongue into Juice's mouth to taste him. To be that much closer to him as he rubbed his long lean frame on Juice's strong one. Warm and slightly damp with the workout he'd been doing. “Gonna watch you squat again, baby boy.” Tully growled into his mouth. “That tight ass is mine.” The boy shuddered again beneath him making the softest keening sound, and arched his hips to grind on Tully. Juice was hard as a rock, and Tully took pity on him by rubbing the bulge. “So's this...I'll get you off sweetie, I promise.” He needed to say that, just so Juice knew he wasn't going to leave him in a bad state after fucking him. “Facing me, or away?” Tully didn't want to wait anymore and while he could go either way Juice couldn't. It needed to be his choice.

Juice was panting, and swallowed as he leaned his head back against the wall exposing his throat to Tully. “'Way.” He mumbled with a blush. “I trust you.” His voice was stronger at that, and he rose his face to Tully's. Looking up at him with those big brown eyes. “Please, Papi.” Juice started to wiggle to turn around.

Of course Tully let him. His boy didn't lose contact with him, keeping one hand on Tully or his spine arched against his torso until he was settled against the wall. And then he pulled his pants down just enough to expose his beautiful ass, the tight thing that Tully adored to look at. He hummed into Juice's ear, kissing the lobe as he pulled himself out just enough to rub along Juice's cleft. Juice's hands went back to the wall to brace the both of them. “Mine, right?” He waited for Juice to nod. And nod his boy did, arching into Tully. “Sure?”

“Tully please fuck me!” Juice didn't snap in anger, but there was definitely something more than lust in his voice. Not broken, just begging in a way that he hadn't ever before. “Please, please.” He panted, and dropped his head between his arms, as he'd come away from the wall. “I'm sure.” Juice was trembling slightly, but not in a bad way.

“Shhh, baby boy. Papi's got you, alright?” Tully's dick was rock hard and he considered checking to make sure how loose his boy was, but he decided against it. He grabbed himself and ran it once more down his ass, resting it on the hole until Juice mewed again for him. “Shhh.” Tully nipped his ear and thrust in, deep against the tight ring of muscle until he was all the way seated and Juice's bare ass was firmly against his groin. He moved one arm to wrap around Juice's throat, the other to palm his cock. “There you go.” Fuck, Juice was so tight around him. They hadn't exactly fucked much. In fact, it had been a long while since Tully had been inside him. The thought made him stop, half-buried into Juice. He wasn't afraid, but wary. Of hurting him, scaring him. This wasn't slow lovemaking, this was a quickie. A fuck.

Juice actually growled. Aggressive and angry and for a moment the outlaw. “Don't _dare_ Tully.” It was almost whispered and Juice tensed beneath him, rolling his hips to bury Tully inside of him all the way. “ _Fuck me, goddamnit._ ” He relaxed, but it was forceful to make himself stop being a rude dick. “Be you, Tully. I need this.” Juice shook his head. Maybe trying to explain with words, but it wasn't coming, not yet. “Fuck me, leave your cum dripping down my ass. Please, Tully. I love you.”

It was a show of trust and there was something else there that Tully would have tease out later. He was still stuffed deep into Juice's hole, and so he just nodded. Just kissed the back of Juice's neck before he jerked his hips back then forward again. Making them both moan and his boy shudder. He did it again, pulling out only halfway before slamming in again. “Fuck. _Fuck._ ” Juice hissed beneath him and reached for one of Tully's hands, pulling it down to rest over his clothes on his hard cock. “Yours. It's yours. Touch, please Papi.” _Desperation_ was the keen note beneath his words.

Tully thrust again and then forced his hand beneath the waistband of Juice's pants. He was letting himself be swallowed up by Juice's need, letting himself be feral with it. This was a hot and willing hole he was fucking into; Juice mewling beneath him and squirming as he started to pump that hard cock with short, quick strokes. Matching his own irregular movements now. Time wasn't infinite, after all, and Juice had been gagging for it so bad since they left their cell. Tully too, now that he'd gotten started.

His boy shuddered underneath him again, tilting his head back to lightly rest on Tully's shoulder. The vulnerability of it, the expanse of that throat in front of him made Tully bite down on it, sink his teeth into the exposed skin there. He held it hard, sucking a little so that the mark would stay and bruise. Show up as a sign that despite his retirement, Tully still owned this young man in his entirety. Juice just wailed and bucked with the sensations and Tully had to stop him before the sounds brought guards to investigate. Maybe it had been on purpose, because before he realized what he was doing Tully just wrapped a hand around his throat, squeezing tight. “Shh. Don't get us into trouble, beautiful.” He growled and bit his shoulder again, and this time the slightest hint of copper danced on his tongue.

Juice couldn't cry out, his air so cut off but apparently the pain and Tully's roughness and the situation just had him overwhelmed. He arched his spine and squeezed, silently begging the older man on top of him for everything he was willing to give. Tully was so close to the edge too, it wouldn't take him long now. He kissed the boy lightly on the bleeding bite, gentle in contrast to what he did with the rest of himself. Thrust, thrust, and then Tully's belly flipped over and he came hard into the boy's ass, moaning into his ear maybe a little too loud for safety but they could be done in a moment. When Juice too, came.

It didn't take too long. His hand hadn't stopped moving and Juice hadn’t really gotten much air, which just drove his arousal hard. Finally Juice's squirming stilled and Tully's hand was dripping with his boy's cum. “There you go...” Tully let himself murmur, let himself become the gentle Papi again instead of the horny con. “Better?” Juice gasped and nodded when Tully moved his hand. “Good.” Another kiss and Tully helped him tug up his pants, untucking his shirt to hide the stains. “Want me to move?” Because he hadn't; Tully knew that Juice needed him to stay touching as much as possible.

“No.” Juice's voice was soft and a little rough. He might have to avoid the guards seeing his throat for a little bit. “Gotta though.” The younger man turned around inside Tully's arms, leaning on the wall behind him and gently pulling at Tully's pants now too. Returning the favor of getting him situated, like the sweet lover he was. “Thank you.” Juice turned his face up to Tully, and those big brown eyes were full of an emotion that was difficult for him to read. Instead Tully just dipped his chin and kissed Juice lightly, running his cleaner hand on the fuzz on his scalp. Juice smiled against his lips, and Tully's chest released the heaviness he didn't realize he was carrying up until now. “C'mon, we'll get into trouble?”

“Yes we will.” Tully came away from Juice, but wrapped a hand around the other man's so that he would follow. He glanced around the corner of the building and then casually they made their way across the yard. Juice stuck close, and when Tully looked over he just had a little smile on his face despite the red finger marks on his neck that would also become bruises as well as the bite. The sight made Tully smile too, and release Juice's fingers to brush over them. “Needed it rough today, baby boy?” A little foray to see how willing Juice was to talk about whatever it was. A push, and if Juice pushed back he'd leave it for later.

His boy just dropped his gaze and then nodded. His Adam's apple bobbed under Tully's touch, and he reached up to tangle their fingers together once more. “I just. I missed you.” Juice frowned. “Doesn't make sense, I know. 'M sorry.” He sighed and squeezed Tully's fingers before he released them. “Guard.” Juice said by way of explanation. They moved on until the guard wasn't looking, but Juice still didn't take Tully's hand again. Instead Tully spotted _that_ smile out of the corner of his eye. “I'm a mess. Your cum, my cum.”

Juice sounded so pleased; Tully would have to do it again. As many times as they both wanted. “Good. Good start to retirement.” He did have a thought, and it made him wrinkle his nose. “Going to have to shower it away.”

There was an odd silence to his boy and then he spoke after a small forced-sounding laugh. “Y-yeah. Not this second though. After lunch.” Tully briefly supported him as he got up on his tiptoes to whisper into his ear. “Maybe give me a load before then?”

The boy backed away because they were getting close to the rest of the prison. Tully mourned the loss of his body nearby and his cock gave a half-hearted throb with the suggestion. The spirit was wiling, the flesh was weak. “Naughty boy.” Tully lightly swatted Juice's backside, looking at the bruises on his neck and the darker spot on his shoulder. “We'll see.” There was still something Juice was hiding, but Tully couldn't question him about it now. Not when they met up with the other AB and just in time, too. The end of yard time bell signaled and they circled up around Mickey for the trek home.

Juice still had a little shy smile on his face as they walked. It was goddamn adorable, and then made more so when Dave made a comment in the safety of their cell block. “Dude, you um. You're showing.” He gestured when Juice looked at him; the bite mark. His top had shifted during their filing in and it was now uncovered and showing to the world.

Tully didn't know who looked more embarrassed about it; Juice or Dave. Juice just shifted his shoulder and covered it up again with a muttered thanks. He laughed, wrapping an arm around his boy as they stepped into their cell. Giving him a kiss on the temple, even. “You're so cute.” Tully teased as Juice wiggled from his hold and went to wash his hands. He himself sat down at the desk, looking at the letter from Jeff. No need to keep it around anymore; really he should have gotten rid of it weeks ago. Tully apparently had assumed that he'd need it. Need it to show Juice. But now he didn't, so he started to idly tear the letter into small pieces. “Hand me a cup of water, baby?” The sounds of more water, this time hitting into plastic, behind him and then Juice set his red Iron Man cup next to him. “Thank you.” Tully looked up, humming in pleasure to see Juice in just his tank top. “Sugar.”

His lover bent down and lightly dropped a kiss to Tully's lips. Even as casual as that was, Tully could feel the adoration there. Juice pulled back, slipping the tank top off. The older man couldn't help but shift in his seat, dumping the paper into the cup now that he'd torn it up. The bite was deeper than Tully first thought and bruising quite a bit darker. Tenderly Juice washed it, little rivulets of water dripping down that muscular back. The bruises would fade, but that? That would stick around a while. Maybe even scar just a little. “Sorry not sorry.” Tully smirked.

“I didn't think you would be.” Juice gave him that smile over his shoulder. “Whatcha doing?” He gestured to the desk before he pulled on the tank again and a new regulation top.

Tully finally stood and dug into his personal storage locker. He pulled out the makeshift screen; a square of pantyhose duct-taped to four toothbrush handles. Things that were hard to find now, the duct-tape and the pantyhose. Both had been accidentally sold in the commissary for a very short period of time. “Making paper. Miss Mina deserves something pretty for her letters every once in a while.” If he just happened to be destroying evidence, that was a terrible coincidence. “It will be a lovely green by the time I'm done.” Yellow legal pad and blue pen ink turned into recycled mint green paper. Any previous writing on there undecipherable.

Juice huffed. “Cool.” He picked his computer book up and went back to his bunk. “Leave you alone for that, then.” The boy crossed his legs and set the book on it. There was the slightest forlorn tone to his voice, though. Tully couldn't have that, not after what they'd did at lunch.

“About a half hour before the next step, beautiful.” He came away from the desk and sat next to Juice, who immediately leaned on him and relaxed. “You're okay to sit, hm?”

His boy shrugged and started to read again. “Hurts a little.” But the instant Tully started to shift again so that Juice could sit more comfortably, he let a soft whine out. “N-no, I'm fine. Just stay.”

Tully wrapped his arms around Juice, kissing the top of his head ever so gently before he started to stroke his skin. “Juice, baby.” He was still and only sort of looking at his book, Tully could tell. “Talk to me. Tell me what's on your mind.” Tully kept his voice gentle, but there was still a steel edge to it because he wanted answers. If only so he can help his beloved. “I love you, baby boy.” Worry was starting to creep into his mind.

“I love you too.” Juice replied, and then sighed as he squeezed his eyes shut and closed his book. “Tired. I'm sorry I kicked you outta bed.” Juice was quiet for a long minute. “I'm just tired.” He reiterated and finally looked up again to Tully. “Might turn in early tonight.”

Tully just nodded. “I still have the meeting.” He doubted Juice had forgotten. “I'll tuck you in before I go.” He chuckled and was distracted for a moment by the smile Juice offered. “Tell Luis officially about my retirement. Deal with.... the MC's man.” Because like or not he'd snitched to Tully about Luis' affairs, and Tully was going to have to make it up to the other shot-caller. He didn't think the MC would allow Happy to be greenlit for it, so to stay in _their_ good graces he was going to have to make amends a different way.

Juice looked down into his book, listening. It was almost casual the way he spoke, but it still made Tully sit straight up and stare. “Bring him here. I mean I know he ain't white but...he's a better fighter than-- I mean he's as good as Nuke.” The boy looked up at him then. “I'll m-manage. You need it more than I.... do.” Juice shrugged and pressed closer to him. “I'll be okay.”

There absolutely was something _wrong._ Tully squeezed him tight, with both arms. Maybe he could convince his boy to go see the shrink, if he couldn't talk to Tully. Juice just shifted and held onto the other man and for a moment it seemed like he was going to spill. But he didn't, just sat quietly. “We'll keep it in mind.” Mickey piped up, interrupting their moment. Tully bristled at his disruption, at the presumption that Tully would accept Happy.... but then he remembered it really wasn't his decision anymore.

“Thanks, Mickey.” Juice rose his face to Tully, that look in his eyes that asked if he was good. If he'd done the right thing.

Tully just kissed him on the forehead. He couldn't, in good conscience, reassure his boy because he wasn't sure what Juice's endgame was. “If you're sure,” Tully murmured. “I'll be right here for you. I _am_ here for you baby.” One more obvious try at getting Juice to talk. His boy just snuggled against him again, finally going back to his book. The little smile returned to his face and he squirmed. Maybe just to feel Tully's cum between his legs, maybe just to settle. His boy took a deep breath and then sighed. “I love you, Juice.”

“Love you too.” It didn't sound different, just as full of adoration as always and Juice squirmed even closer. Tully decided he had to believe him for now. He just kept touching his boy, little pets and rubs. “I love you so much.” Juice whispered again. “Don't forget.”

“I won't, baby.” Now it was his turn to sigh. “Let me take care of the paper. I'll be right back baby boy.” Unless Juice needed him to stay. Nothing was going to happen if Juice needed him.

For a long moment Juice just stayed nestled on his chest, then unwound himself from Tully. He dogged Tully's steps; Juice's book sat abandoned on the bed. “Learning how to do prison arts and crafts, beautiful?” Tully teased, kissing and squeezing the nape of Juice's neck. Juice winced once, but not badly so Tully didn't let his concern grow over that. If the boy wanted this, he'd give it. Give Juice all that he wanted, within Tully's limits at Stockton. His boy peered over Tully's shoulder, as he stuck his fingers into the cup mashing up the torn and soaked paper into a pulp. He swirled it a few times, making sure it absorbed as much water as it possibly could. Tully then set the screen down in the sink and slowly poured the pulp into it so it could drain, then smoothed it down into all corners of the square. When it dried, it would be a piece of paper thick enough for writing on. “Leave it here a bit baby, so it drains. Can dry it all the way somewhere else. Jail arts and crafts, just for you.” Tully turned to lean on their sink then, and pull Juice into an embrace. “Juice....” He was gentle, more gentle than he could ever remember being as he spoke into the boy's shoulder. Tully shifted to whisper into his ear. “I dunno what's going on, my pretty Puerto Rican, but love if you can't tell me please talk to _someone._ The shrink, Telford, Will. Someone; I'll run interference if you have to tell them secrets.” Tully stroked Juice's back, trying to keep his voice even despite the tightness in his chest that returned and threatened to spill out in tears. He wouldn't cry. Couldn't. “I love you so much, Juice.”

The boy was tense beneath him and he shivered. He dipped his head and rested it on Tully's chest for a moment before he nodded. “O-okay.” A sniffle made Tully tighten his hold, trying to get the boy closer. “Okay, I will.” The knot in Tully's gut unraveled a little. “I love you too.” Juice didn't pull away, just mumbled into Tully's skin. “C'n we lay down 'til lunch?”

Tully nodded, standing upright and leading Juice back to their bed. The boy crawled onto his chest once Tully settled, and they wrapped their arms around each other. Juice said nothing more, letting Tully's breath tickle his bare scalp. Clearly listening to Tully's heart beat needing the closeness. He just had to trust that Juice was really going to do what he said, and he didn't press any further. Just kept holding his boy, idly rubbing against the knots in his back on occasion. “My sweet baby boy....” Tully let himself murmur that along with more endearments, more promises that he was there. That he was in Juice's corner; had his back. Because he did. He didn't have any other responsibilities now, not to anyone or anything. Just to Juice.

He didn't know when they dozed off, but Juice gently nudged him awake. “Hey, lunchtime almost.” Tully just lifted his head up and kissed the boy first. He needed to. For a moment Juice returned it, and then looked to him. Desire and that need for closeness were in his dark eyes. “We c'n stay here...? Jus' the shower after.”

Tully had forgotten about the meal. Damn, more time away from Juice, because they couldn't just skip lunch either. Not until things were cemented and just a little calmer. Tully sighed and shook his head. “We've got to make another appearance.” Technically only he did, but Juice was coming with him until Tully was convinced he was okay. That whatever was occupying his mind was out of it. The pair got up, finally, after he kissed Juice a couple more times. He checked the paper; still drying, but it was that mint green he wanted. No sign of Jeff's communication.

Once they were let out of the cell, Juice stayed glued to Tully's side. It was like he didn't even care who was watching, as long as he held tight to Tully's hand. Clinging, really, like a child who was frightened might. The rest of the AB didn't seem to care but rumors would no doubt fly. Whatever; Juice had protection in the form of the rest of the Brotherhood as much as his lover. It was only when a guard gestured that they move apart that Juice did, albeit reluctantly. Tully was slow to let him go, but he had to. It felt, just a little bit, that if he did Juice would once more withdraw and break his promise to talk to someone about whatever hell was in his head.

The former shot-caller had to take a breath against the tightness in his chest that suddenly rose up. Tully couldn't think like that, not outside of their cell. He put a clamp on all of his emotions as he sat down in his place, watching the cafeteria instead. There were still eyes on him and Mickey though fewer than earlier. The MC's man was still semi-isolated at Luis' table. The Chinese still staring warily and angrily at the table of White. Unsure, no doubt, what this change in leadership meant for their feud. A light touch on his thigh made Tully glance down to Juice, who was just resting his hand there while he picked at his lunch with the other. Sliding the mushrooms to the side out of the gravy before swirling it all together with the potatoes. Nothing abnormal, except for the hand on Tully's leg.

He dropped his own hand to squeeze Juice's before he brought it up. “We still have the racial harmony meeting, Mickey?” Tully asked quietly enough for only the other man to hear. It wouldn't do them well to be overheard by any of the guards. “Sit down, talk with the wetbacks?”

Mickey nodded. “Still on schedule.” He glanced around Tully to Juice, and then back to Tully again. He remained silent but the question was still in his eyes. _Is he going to be okay alone?_ Tully had to think why Mickey might actually care. Not that the other man didn't like Juice, but he'd never seemed to give a damn before. Just thinking like a shot-caller, he supposed. Were Tully in his place, he'd want to make sure that Juice was okay just because it kept _him_ happy. “No weapons this time. They're bringing the MC's man.”

That was a new request. Tully figured it had to do with Happy's place at Brown's table. No matter, Tully could use his hands alone if it came down to that. He slipped Juice his dessert; a piece of apple pie. The boy just hummed quiet beside him, bumping his shoulder in thanks. He should have been the one doing the thanking, Tully thought. What Juice was doing and allowing, it had to be taking a lot of mental strength that Tully wasn't totally sure he had. “Dave.” Juice looked to the man opposite him. “Mickey's got appointments, budge up.”

The other man looked up, looked next to him, and scooted over for a con to sit across from Mickey. “Thanks.” Mickey hunched over again, and Juice went back to his meal as well.

His boy continued to eat one-handed, and Tully vaguely listened to the inmate. The man was wondering, like they all seemed to, what his status was with the AB now that Mickey was in charge. He was just brave enough to come and ask, or at least be the first one to ask. Now that he was sitting down a small army of inmates started to approach, appealing to Mickey about their debts or piling on more to get into his favor. The blatant ass-kissing made Tully roll his eyes. “It's like you ain't even here anymore.” Juice murmured, part of a smile on his face. “And like Mickey hasn't seen all of them do this shit before.” Juice took a drink, just plain water this time. He speared his carrots, dipped them in the gravy and pulled them into his mouth.

“Didn't say cons were that smart.” Dave returned the smirk, self-deprecation evident by the little gesture of his palms at himself. He was a little more relaxed now that he'd had a chance to come down from his high and understand his place in the gang. “Most, anyway. You got that computer shit going though, right?” Without even knowing what he was doing, Dave dragged Juice into a conversation. Kept his boy distracted from the line of cons that were still approaching. Tully helped, of course, occasionally lacing his fingers with Juice's or tracing a small heart on the boy's leg. He was a romantic it seemed, when he was a little afraid.

Lunch was almost over when Juice rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hand. “I'm gonna.... go back to our cell.” He spoke just loud enough that only Tully could hear him. He didn't want anyone else to get a hint of his whereabouts to follow him. “Just tired.” Reassuring the older man. “Join me when you're done?”

Like Tully wouldn't; those brown eyes though were a little anxious that he'd decline. “Of course. Don't go home alone.”

“I'm comin' with. I need a nap too!” Dave grinned at Tully. He knew which way his bread was buttered, and Tully almost let him have a smile. Instead he gave Dave a gesture and nodded. Both men got up, then, though Juice held Tully's hand for one more second before he grabbed his tray, only half eaten. Save dessert, of course. They had protein bars in the cell if he got hungry. Tully watched the tattooed scalp of his lover walk away from them, disappearing down to their cell block still in conversation with Dave. Then he turned his attention back to the rest of the appointments. Mickey was handling them well and with far more patience than Tully would have had.

Tully really didn't want Juice to go but he couldn't stop the young man. Especially not with so many inmates around watching their every move. Juice wasn't alone, and that was all Tully could really ask for so he had to keep his mind on the work for now. Just until lunch was over, and in the long run until Mickey made his own command choices. Tully would function as the second, which was normally a good deal of work but Mickey had set him up well to let some of it slide. So Tully could focus on Juice, just like he planned and said he wanted to do. Once the lunch bell rang, Tully muttered so that Mickey would hear. “I'll meet you later, boss.” The word was still sticky in his mouth but it was getting easier. He glanced around; Juice had remembered his tray but Dave had forgotten his in his excitement to help Juice. “Fucking ditz.” He growled while in line after grabbing the thing; he'd have to have a chat with Dave about picking up your own shit. The rest of the AB around him laughed and Tully had a feeling that Dave had a new nickname, at least for a while. Tully remained quiet the rest of the way down the line and as well on the way back to their cell. The inmate who accompanied him knew better than to engage Tully, so it was a silent walk until he stepped inside his home. “Hey there, baby.” Juice looked up at him from the desk where he was studying out of his computer book. The smile that greeted Tully was small but genuine. “Not hungry? I saw you didn't finish lunch.” Tully sat on their bed, and waited.

Immediately Juice got up to join him, but he stopped and bent over to rearrange the books on the desk. The poetry book on top of the small stack. He crawled into the bed with Tully, on his chest again but Tully rolled and rearranged them to lay on their sides instead. Juice squirmed and curled into Tully's chest, but then turned to face him properly. “I'm okay. Just not very hungry.” A pause, and Juice bit his bottom lip. “Please don't worry. Makes.... makes me worry. And sad.” Juice didn't meet Tully's eyes, instead just buried his face into Tully's chest. Once more listening to his heart. The older man just rubbed his back, keeping his sigh to himself. The boy didn't deserve to be lectured at, just held. Reassured. He'd talk to someone, he'd promised Tully. “'Well thou has spoken, and yet not taught a feeling strange or new,'” Juice started mumbling into his neck now. Tully listened as he recited the whole thing from memory, quiet and sweet and strangely it made him feel better. As it must have for Juice, too, if he'd taken the time to memorize it. Tully just kept touching him and when Juice was done the older man gave him a light kiss. First on the forehead, and then Juice lifted his chin for a proper kiss.

“Good boy.” Tully whispered on his lips. “You're my good boy, Juice.” Even if they were both scared, because Tully wasn't too proud to admit his fear, he still loved this sweet young man curled up in his arms. He set aside his career, his Brotherhood for Juice and he didn't regret it for one instant. “All mine...and I'm all yours.” Tully chuckled a little. “You and me should get matching tattoos.”

Juice rewarded him with a small smile and another kiss to his lips. “Yeah? What of?” The small smile got bigger and Tully's heart fluttered in the best way. Juice was, once again, trying to fight off whatever demons were bothering him today and Tully would be there right behind him, in his corner. “I have an idea but...tell me first?”

“I should tell you to tell me first.” Tully teased and stalled for a moment. “Ms. Bronte's work. A line from that, each.” He ran his fingers down Juice's arm, around the two tattoos already there. “There.” Easy to hide, but easy for Juice to look at when he needed.

The younger man was quiet, goosebumps trailing Tully's hands and he seemed to snuggle closer. A flash of them like this on a bigger bed, in a light and airy bedroom with a gentle breeze coming through the window appeared in Tully's mind, but he shook it away gently. As he always would those sorts of thoughts; they were dangerous. “Your name on my hand. Or even jus'...just a T.” Now it was Juice's turn to rub Tully's skin and he laced their fingers together, thumb brushing over one swastika between his thumb and forefinger. “Right here. Everyone could see. See that I'm yours.” He huffed. “Not like I have a problem with visible tattoos.” And then he nuzzled Tully, making his chin brush Juice's scalp. Obviously referring to that ink there. “I love you.”

Something bothered Tully about it for a moment, then he figured it out. “Where would your J go, hm? On me.” Juice, erasing himself in relation to Tully maybe because he didn't think himself worth it. “Can't match if you don't have yours too.”

Juice shifted his grip a little and tapped his fingers on the top of Tully's hand. “There.” It wouldn't interfere with his gang tattoo, but still visible. “Everyone c'n see yours too, then.” He murmured and then kissed Tully's throat. “What're you gonna do when I'm in the shower, Papi?”

The use of his nickname made Tully smile. “Read, probably. Wait for you. Plan our date tomorrow. Maybe I'll work out. Make my ass nice for you to look at, since you like looking at it so much.” He kissed those flushed cheeks then, and he squeezed Juice's hand that he hadn't let go of. “Hope I get a chance to shower.” Tully was starting to feel filthy. Or maybe he was clinging onto any sort of feeling that wasn't overwhelming concern for his lover.

Juice nodded. “N-not that you need it.” A pause and then Juice realized what that sounded like. He stuttered and blushed more, burying his face out of embarrassment. “Reading sounds good. Reading and a nap.” Juice took a deep breath then, and relaxed. Tully hadn't realized until then how tense his boy was, and it was without thought that he started to rub Juice's back again. “Tired again, Papi.” Juice murmured.

“I'll be right here, baby boy, if you wanna sleep. I got you, you know that. Or I can read to you, if that's what you'd like.” Give his beloved a couple of options.

“Don't! Don't go.” Juice's voice went sharply up and for a moment he just clung to Tully. Then he calmed down, burying his face. Tully's heart rate skyrocketed in a mimic of Juice's emotion, though it took longer for it to slow. “Sorry. It's been a hard few days.” Juice's voice shivered, cracking and rough. “Can we just have.... nice.... before I gotta go and you gotta go again?”

As always Tully couldn't deny him anything he asked for, and he just settled again so that Juice could cuddle comfortably. They laid chest to chest, occasionally kissing but mostly they were together in silence. Honestly Tully didn't mind it. He'd missed it, missed their quiet moments together where Juice was curled up on his chest in between meals or after sex late at night. Where his boy read and he did too, or Tully just mused while Juice studied. Always touching, shoulder to shoulder or chest against chest, fingers occasionally weaving together but it wasn't arousing or even sexual. Just two men in love who could spend a quiet afternoon or evening together in comfortable silence.

Though it wasn't always that. Not always silent. They talked a lot. Debated though never heatedly. Sometimes Juice made him laugh; sometimes he made Juice laugh. Juice taught him things, and in turn he taught Juice things. It was really a beautiful partnership and Tully wondered, for the first time, if they'd been on the outside whether or not he'd marry Juice. Apparently it was legal, after all. “Love you baby.” Tully murmured again. He would, he decided. He loved this man so very much that he'd do it again. He'd commit like that to another person. Tully was going to have to redo his will, it seemed. Make sure his boy was taken care of, as much as Will was and his ex-wife had been. Tully was nothing if not pragmatic about his situation. Even with retirement, he could still die at any moment and Juice would deserve some of what he had. Tully would contact the lawyer about it as soon as he could.

“What're you thinking about?”

“Mm? Taking care of you.” Tully's hands started up again, slow and gentle as they rubbed his back.

“Yeah?” Juice shifted to move his arms, and the top came off one shoulder like it had before, exposing the bite there and the numerous darkening bruises.

“Yeah. Updating my will when I get a chance.” Before Juice had a chance to object Tully continued. “I can't spoil Will entirely, after all, when I've got you too.” He kissed Juice's forehead and tucked the shirt right where it belonged.

To that Juice was quiet for a moment. And then he spoke. “I ain't got much. The condo. Maybe the bike, if it hasn't been auctioned off.” He sighed at that. “Shit in bug-out bags.” Another long period of quiet before he talked again “One safety deposit box with some shit in it. Papers. 'S all really.”

It was a morbid line of thinking, and Tully would change it after this. “Most outlaws, they don't make a will. They don't think they need it. They live forever, or it's not outlaw enough. But you can still make one. Not this second, baby. Not even tomorrow, you can talk to my lawyer when I call.” Tully chuckled, kissing Juice again. “He's a scumbag who charges too much but he's good at his job. Well. Good as you can be when your client isn't exactly a pillar of society and a huge pain in the ass.” More chuckles at the digs at himself. He hadn't pled guilty but he was fairly certain he would have gotten a harsher sentence without the man.

Juice finally smiled again and buried his face once more on Tully's skin. “Alright.” He even softly laughed as well. “I like to be prepared.”

“I know you do.” Tully reached up with his free hand and pet that scalp, tracing the tattoos there as he had done in nights past. “Never a boy scout, though?”

His boy shook his head, still just content it seemed being held by Tully now that the dark talk had subsided. “Grew up in the ghetto remember? I didn't even really see starlight until I moved to Charming. Guys took me camping at the rez a couple of times. The reservation.” Another shake of his head and then the smile reappeared though briefly. “I prefer flushing toilets and wi-fi thank you, but it wasn't.... it wasn't bad.” He quieted again, as did Tully and they sat for just a little longer before Juice spoke again. “Too much to hope one of them got my bike? Chibs, maybe?” Juice rose his face to meet Tully's eyes.

Another stroke of his scalp and Tully hummed to soothe him. “We can find out.” If the bike was gone, well. Will liked shopping with Tully's money. And for Juice, his brother would take care of the young man. He'd hold his nose and buy a Harley if need be. “We got you taken care of, baby boy.” Tully gave Juice another gentle kiss. “Papi's got you.” Juice smiled; the small one again but even seeing that was progress.

Then he looked up suddenly, over Tully's shoulder. They hadn't exactly gotten up from their lying down state, after all. A little line appeared between his eyes and he sighed. “They're coming back. Shower time.” Juice didn't look inclined to get up though. His face slipped back briefly into neutrality and then to happiness. Or calm, at least. Something of it pinged Tully's instincts though.

But his boy did need to go so Tully got out of bed and held a hand out. Juice took it and stood, starting to gather his stuff. Tully sat back down again on his bunk, watching and trying to figure out what was bothering him. Juice didn't want to go but at the same time he seemed completely content and accepting of what his immediate future held. It reminded Tully, somehow, of before the fight with the Chinese. When he'd talked to Jackson and then the cops, asking Tully to kill him after. He was just going with the flow, and Tully's neck was still prickling with suspicion.

A dull thud brought him out of his head. Juice set his shower stuff on the floor next to the cell door. He reached for Tully, stepping across the cell to do so. “I love you.” Juice murmured as soon as he was in Tully's arms. “I love you so, so much. Don't forget that.” Juice was just squeezing Tully tightly in a near bear hug, and Tully just returned it. “Not ever, got it?” Before his alarm bells could get any louder Juice got up on his tiptoes and gave Tully a kiss. Not just any kiss, though. It was a kiss full of emotion, desire and love and happiness and all those things that made even Tully's stomach twist with the strength of it. Tully couldn't even think, he just succumbed to Juice's need. His boy just brought a hand up to hold Tully's head, to keep him still while he put his entire being into the kiss. And Tully, he just responded in the same way, giving him that emotion, his whole self right back. He curled his hands into Juice's top and just tried to let him know that he was there. That he would always be there and always love him.

It was Juice the separated them first. He hugged Tully one more time before he gave him that big grin. The sunshine one that almost split his face in half and lit up the room. It even reached his eyes and for one moment Tully thought he was just being paranoid. That he'd been seeing things because he was afraid that they were getting too happy and life needed to punish him. “See you later, baby boy.”

“Love you.” Juice responded before he picked up his shower stuff and stepped out. Tully followed him to the bars and watched as he joined the crowd of men, still smiling as he started up some kind of conversation with David. Tully locked eyes with Mickey; the other man would keep an eye on his boy and that was all Tully could hope for. He watched until the men were out of his sight before he sat down on Juice's bunk once again. His heart was racing, like he'd taken his own hit of speed, and he couldn't focus. Tully's whole body tingled with the intensity of their kiss and whatever the danger was that was currently zipping through his head and setting off his alarm bells.

He had to distract himself; Tully got back up and did a few slow pull-ups off of the cell bars. Give his heart a reason to pump too hard, too fast. He only managed that few, and Tully paced like an agitated jungle cat. The shark inside of himself rattled by something coming from the deeper, darker ocean. By blood in the water. He looked to the craft paper, checking its drying status. He could at least write a rough draft of his letter to Miss Mina. That should be sufficient distraction, at least Tully hoped it would be.

Tully sat at the desk, sliding away the pile of books and bringing over his legal pad. _My dear Mina,_ he began, _I hope this letter sees you well and you've well gotten over your ex._ Tully sighed, leaning back from it. His heart, his head wasn't into it, not even for the usual joy of scamming this young idiot. It was, simply put, boring without Juice here to spend time with him and make fun of her. Discuss whatever morality questions came to his mind about this arrangement while Tully wrote. The man finally admitted defeat to himself and picked up his poetry book. It had helped earlier, so Tully assumed it would help again.

At the edge Tully felt a piece of paper, yellow legal, sticking out of it. Something that wasn't there before, no doubt Juice had written it earlier while Tully was still at lunch. He laid down on Juice's bunk, sticking his pillow beneath his head and Juice's beside him. It wasn't as good as the real thing but it would have to do until he returned. He started from the beginning, deliberately not opening to the note. Tully wasn't in the habit of snooping; especially because Juice had always been respectful of his space and Tully wanted to respect that in turn.

Tully made it through five or six poems and a half hour before his curiosity and his worry got the better of him. He flipped to where the legal paper was stashed. It was bookmarking _their_ poem, and Tully read it in growing horror.

_Dear Tully,_

_ This isn't your fault _ _._

_Read that again. And again. You told me I could tell you when you're making a stupid choice. I'm telling you. You're making a stupid choice._

_So I'm fixing it for you. Go ahead and tell Jeff I'm not a problem anymore. That you want your job, your place back. (Sorry Mickey.) Be a shot-caller._

_I love you so much. You made me happier than I have been in a long time. Years, if I'm honest. I love you. I didn't think it would happen, didn't think it could happen to me ever really. But here we are. So I'm not letting you give this up. I'm doing this of my own free will. Not scared. At peace with it, baby. You'll be happy even if you miss me. And don't miss me too long. Find some cute white boy and be happy. I'm okay._

_Tell Chibs I love him too. And I forgive him. And Happy. And all of them. I'm sorry I wasn't a good Brother. Hope they do well in the future._

_I love you. I love you. Read our poem and know that you were_ _ my _ _comfort in a shitty time, and made me think there was hope in this place. For me. Hope and happiness. I go with both._

_Read that first line again._

_Love, more than any I've ever felt,_

_Juice_

_411827:15566971551_

It was a goodbye. And for the second time in twenty-four hours the floor dropped out from under Tully and he practically fell out of the bed scrambling to the cell door. “Pearson!” He yelled. Tully never really rose his voice, but this. This obviously warranted it and he _needed_ the guard he most trusted. “Pearson!”

The woman didn't run over but she hustled and that had to be good enough for Tully. “Calm down, Tully.” She spoke sternly, looking up at him. It was obvious to him that she thought he was causing trouble for his own amusement. But it had been years since he'd tried that and this wasn't going to be the time, it really wasn't.

Tully couldn't get a breath in and once again his heart was pounding. So he just held the letter up against the bars, letting her read it while he tried to keep calm. Failing, of course, but he was trying and that had to count for something. He could fall apart when Juice was safe. “Help him. Check. Check on him. If I'm shit-stirrin' throw me in th' hole Pearson but he's --” Tully didn't get a chance to finish his begging. The alarm for medical need, followed by the one for a fight lock down sounded overhead and on her radio.

“Men's showers. Block B.” Their block. Their showers. Tully's hands gripping his cell door was the only thing that kept him upright as his stomach flipped and his knees went weak. Pearson stared at him for a moment and then bolted, answering the radio that she was on her way at the same time.

The former shot-caller, on the other hand, stumbled to their bunk. The note, forgotten, fluttered to the ground. Tully couldn't breathe. His chest ached and his heart raced even harder than before. He knew this was a panic attack, pure and simple. But it was a justified one; he could lose Juice. His baby boy, his sweet beloved, the man he wasn't sure he could be without anymore. Tully could lose him. Maybe they weren't ever going to grow old together but this wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. Tully shuddered, digging his nails into his palms so he could focus. Focus on something other than how he couldn't help Juice, how his boy might be dying alone in the shower, maybe in pain. The older man leaned forward, putting his elbows to his knees and shifting his grip to take his pulse at one wrist. High. Fast. Too many beats but it was normal for a panic attack, what was happening right now. Not abnormal like Mom always told him, that he had a heart condition and was sick until he read about Munchausen syndrome by proxy. Mom was gone; she'll like Juice when they meet--

No. He had to stop thinking like this. Stop panicking because it wasn't helping. Tully took a rough, hard-earned breath, and then shifted enough to pull the makeshift knuckles out of his back pocket. Instead of the safe end, Tully gripped the gear end, squeezing his fist until the tiny bite of pain grew and blossomed into something that he could use to help bring everything into focus. It grounded him and the vice on his chest finally released so he could breathe again. Tully let go of his weapon, stashing it back in his pocket.

There was a thin line of blood dripping from his palm so Tully got up on shaky legs to wash. Was he up to date on tetanus? Yes, his last booster was when he got the motorcycle kickstand to the chest. Tully washed mechanically, then rested his forehead on their mirror. It felt now like he was watching himself through it; it took him a moment to realize his eyes were red and his cheeks wet. He'd been crying.

Ron Tully never cried, but he was, now, in the height of his panic attack. The feeling that he was watching himself abruptly ended and he realized just how much everything about his body ached. How much noisier his surroundings were. He turned around and the men of the Aryan Brotherhood were filing back into their cells. “What... happened?” Tully's voice wasn't strong. It croaked, in fact, and he took another breath to cover it. He needed to know how bad it was. If it was likely Juice was gone.

If he could cry more.

Mickey stepped up. Waved the rest of the men away and Tully approached the bars. His voice might not have been strong but he could still stand. “Little shit waited til we were out. Took my,” the contraband weapon, he didn't need to say it. “Took it. Went back to the showers. Considerate.” Mickey's voice was even. Quiet. Not gentle, treading softly to ease the blow of bad news. Tully felt his heart start up its pounding staccato again. “I was wondering where my thing was when we heard him hit the tile.” Micky rose a hand, turning it to show Tully his bruising knuckles. “He only got one arm open, though. Sorry about his face.” Still quiet. “They took him up to the hospital wing, but he was conscious when they did.”

Again the vice went away and Tully managed to stay upright. Mickey probably saved his life even if he did hit him in the meantime. The other man wouldn't tell anymore about how he'd done it unless pressed, and Tully wouldn't. It didn't matter, as long as Juice was alive. “Bad?”

“What I saw.” Mickey stared at him with hooded eyes.

Tully just shook his head and then bent to pick up the letter from where he'd dropped it. “I--”

“Don't worry about it.” Mickey grumped. “Handle it Tully, when he gets back. That's your job, to keep him together.” He shook his head. “Christ. We still have that goddamn meeting.” The new shot-caller stood for a few minutes longer before he turned into his cell, partially because Pearson was coming down the block hallway.

She was soaked from the knees down, maybe from kneeling in the showers. Tully's gut flipped when he spotted remnants of blood on her hands, not quite fully removed. “Thank you for your help.” She quietly told Mickey. “Though I think the punch was rather unnecessary.”

“Spic wife deserved it.” Mickey growled as he washed his hands, finished drying and got into dry clothes himself. “Dumb fuck.”

Pearson seemed to consider responding to him, but she didn't. Instead she looked back to Tully. “I need that note for evidence.” It was almost sad and apologetic, the way she said it. Like she actually meant that she was sorry for taking it away from him. It didn't matter to Tully; he handed it over without hesitation. He didn't want it. Didn't want its poison in his home anymore. Pearson examined it more thoroughly this time. “Not a code of yours?” She gestured towards the string of numbers at the bottom. Tully just shook his head, body numbing again. He couldn't tell what they were really, though the formula looked familiar. “You want to sit?”

She was talking to him like she did to Juice at the height of his terror and flashbacks. Tully straightened his spine and spoke. “No. Tell it to me straight.”

“Sit first, Tully. You're as white as a ghost and for you, that's saying something.” The soothing tone was gone as quick as it had come, back to how she usually spoke to him. Firm and unyielding. “If you crack your skull on the concrete...”

He wasn't going to get anything else from her otherwise, so he sat down on Juice's bunk. It gave him a chance to rub his tingling fingers and get some more air into his lungs so that his head cleared more. “The docs think he didn't lose that much blood, seeing as how he was conscious and talking when we brought him in. Thanks to his quick action.” She gestured to Mickey. “Don't know when he'll be back, I'm sorry.”

The first thought that Tully had was that Juice had probably not just been talking, but begging. Keep the clinic door open, or the exam room door at least. His last significant experience there while conscious had been with the Chinese. Without mentioning that Tully doubted that they'd listened and that just made him more upset. Tully looked up at her and sighed, holding any more visible emotion back. “Thank you.” He managed before he leaned back to just rest on the wall.

“Doctor B is on his way, too. Do you want to talk to someone, Tully?” He opened his eyes, not realizing he'd closed them already. “I'm asking you just between the two of us, not officially as a screw.” Pearson was looking at Tully with such compassion then he could _almost_ believe her. _Almost_ believe that it wasn't some part of a prison power play. Either by the administration or by herself on her own. “He's had it rough, and you're taking care of him which means you catch some of his stress. You're allowed to ask for help, too.”

Another clench in his chest and this time Tully felt the heat in his eyes. More tears threatened to fall. “I'm-- I'll keep it in mind, Pearson.” He confessed. Tully might not keep it in his mind for long, but he wasn't so stupid as to not consider it at least a little bit. “Let me know when you know more?” That familiar refrain was bitter on Tully's tongue.

“Of course.” She turned, about to head back to the administration from his cell then paused. “Might be another search. Just something else to keep in mind.” Then she walked away, still with the note in her hand. Tully was glad it was gone now, and as well for the head's up.

“How long until the meeting, Mickey?” The only thing he had to ditch was his weapon. He could do that on their way. Tully wanted a nap. In fact he slid back to lay properly on the bed. Dinner in a couple hours, maybe? Time was performing weird for him. Tully ran his knuckles back and forth on the wall beside him, slow and rough so that he focused again. “Mickey.”

“Dinner's in an hour, Tully.” Mickey still wasn't being gentle. Obviously he thought Tully could take it, with the assumption that Juice was returning.

Tully _was_ otherwise perfectly capable of taking this emotion. This grief, this sadness. This kind of hurt that there wasn't enough words to describe perfectly. Even when Mom died the first thing Tully did after hanging up with his father and then calling Will was to get back to work. He didn't cry. He just got fucked up that night. The burning behind his eyes started and this time Tully just let them flow, slinging an arm over his face so people didn't see the tears fall. Once again he couldn't take a full breath inwards. Rolling to his side helped though now it came in hiccuping spurts. Juice was almost gone. He'd thought it acceptable, a solution, to kill himself.

For Tully. For Tully's, more accurately, and his gang. Juice had gone with a smile, or he'd tried. Tully choked on a breath. He hadn't gotten a straight answer about any of it from his boy before he left. His chest tightened again and this time he let out an obvious sob. The thought of not having Juice; of being ultimately responsible no matter what his boy had said in the note, it was strangling. Tully curled into his pillow so his fellow inmates wouldn't be disturbed. At this point he couldn't keep it in. Couldn't focus on anything but his pain and fear and it had to go _somewhere_. The sobs wracked his frame though he tried to remain quiet. Tully had some pride left and the others didn't need to know that he was an ugly crier on top of everything else.

Tully didn't know when he'd stopped sobbing and simply dropped into an exhausted nap like he'd wanted, but he did. It wasn't deep enough to allow him to properly dream but in a way that was worse. Tully didn't wake up refreshed to the sounds of dinner being passed out; he was sluggish and still achy. Especially his heart.

He stood and made himself properly walk, not shuffle, to wash his hands. He examined the slice he'd made in his palm. In a way Tully was proud of himself. Only the one, when in times past he'd given himself dozens at a go. It would heal well as long as he kept it clean so he washed it again before looking at his reflection. God, he looked like something the cat dragged in. All puffy eyes and splotchy skin; Tully wished for a way to hide it. In a life past, when he was secretly going to gay bars he'd noticed some of the other queer men wearing makeup. Things like concealer, eye shadow, mascara. All would have been nice to have right about now. As he couldn't have it, he splashed cold water on his face and patted it dry. It would even out by the time he had to see anyone besides the meal delivery con, and he was smart enough to not say anything about Tully's disheveled state. He just handed the tray over and kept moving along.

Tully carefully cleared their desk and sat down to eat. He wasn't that hungry but he knew better than to go to one of these meetings on an empty stomach. Especially one that he knew he was going to dislike the outcome of no matter how it went. The demand from Luis that Happy be there all but assured that it was going to be a frustrating one. “Tully.” The man looked up and across to Mickey. He was picking up his cell before he started on dinner; Christ, Tully had slept through a room search. He _had_ to get rid of his weapon after dinner. That he hadn't woken up to any of it at all told him just how distracted he was. “Moving up the meeting. We go once you're done.” Because of the lockdown no one moved unnecessarily especially so close to lights out as they'd planned.

“Right.” Tully sounded stronger, at least, though there was a roughness to his voice that he play off as intimidation even if everyone knew it had to do with his crying jag. “Ten minutes.” It wasn't to eat, he was pretty much done with the garbage in front of him. It was to make himself look presentable. He drank the rest of the juice, saved the cookie, and set the tray aside for collection later. He got up again, knees cracking before he went back to the sink. Teeth brushed, more cold water on his face and then a swipe of his washcloth as well. He felt better with at least doing that. As long as he didn't really _think_ about what happened, Tully could manage. Compartmentalize. He'd always compartmentalized before.

He took a deep slow breath, and ordered his mind. Juice was safe in the clinic wing, he couldn't try anything further there. Tully could wait for answers for tomorrow or whenever he next saw his beloved. This meeting took priority. Get Luis to know to go through Mickey from now on, though Tully wouldn't turn down friendship. Of a sort, anyway. As much as he could be friends with the other man. Mutual respect, was that more accurate? Tully thought so. He could discuss it with Juice.

Tully shook his head to clear that thought process. After the meeting, then they'd find out what was going on with Happy. One more deep breath and Tully straightened, pulling his top neat and checking himself out just one more time. For this, he brought back his mask, the one he thought he'd had to put away. When Tully turned back around to the waiting guard there was steel in his eyes and blankness in his features otherwise. “Let's go.” He stepped up to the bars and turned so he could get cuffed behind him.

But the submission of it made his jaw clench even if he was doing it so he could dump his weapon easier. Tully just forced himself to accept it. It was all for a reason and once he was done he could go back to his cell. They walked in silence, Tully staring ahead for a good moment to get rid of his his weapon. He'd have to make another one at some point; he supposed he'd have to figure out when, and what kind would be safest to keep in the cell with Juice. He let out a snort. Improvised weapon, safe. “Gotta use the restroom.” Tully considered swearing but he was better than that. “Please.”

McManus directed Tully to the nearest bathroom and the nearest stall, sweeping it quickly for contraband but of course finding none. He looked to Tully and then gestured for him to go ahead. “Shy bladder as always, Tully?”

“Of course.” Tully growled and McManus shut the door after uncuffing him. He really did have to go, so in one smooth movement he sat, dropping his pants and pulling the weapon out of his back pocket. It was good McManus was on his take. Mickey's take, rather. He hadn't really even attempted to hide it. _Distracted._ Tully slipped the knuckles out, ditching it just inside the rim of the toilet bowl. They were a little awkwardly placed and one even shitty sweep of the place would find it but there would likely be others after him and before that search. It would just become part of the collection of contraband that the administration liked to keep to show off to new guards. Quickly after that Tully finished up. He didn't want to make everyone wait. “Thank you,” Tully said as he washed his hands, “Prison food.” Just in case anyone else was listening.

The rest of the walk to the day room that they used for these meetings went uneventfully. Mickey had arranged it to be that way. It was himself and Mickey, of course, and Froggy for muscle. “Fine day for racial harmony, hm?” Tully drawled once they were in, looking across from their Mexican Mafia counterparts, as well as Happy standing behind them. It was his usual greeting, and though his heart wasn't in it they didn't see that.

Tully waited, raising his arms and placing them on top of his head. Each guard would frisk all the men, in front of everyone, and then the muscle would frisk his opposite, and then they'd frisk the shot-callers and their other guests. It kept everyone honest, kept these meetings safe. Not that Luis would attempt anything, it was just a general precaution. Tully watched the others; Luis, his second, their muscle, and Happy were the only ones there. None of the other gangs, which of course made sense. Then Thierry stepped forward to pat down the Mafia's muscle. Nuke usually sneered at this part and the next hating having to touch the Mexicans, but Froggy kept his face impassive. Just did his job, patting down their muscle with swift efficiency and allowing himself to be patted down in turn.

Now the hard part. Tully couldn't help but bristle himself as Luis' man patted him down first, then Mickey. It was expected of him to do that, after all, still being the shot-caller as far as everyone was concerned. Luis across the room was doing the same, as did his second. All part of the song and dance, all part of the ritual. Honestly it was _boring_ now that Tully was watching it without the dog in the fight he'd once had for this. The same old bullshit that was part of living in prison. Everything was always the same. Tully focused back onto the goings on. Even if he didn't care, he had to at least try to look like he did. Not for too much longer, he just had to keep that thought in mind too. Happy was getting frisked now, and Tully realized that the man's dark eyes were fixed on him. Tully just tilted his head, curious at the hard stare. Happy didn't drop his gaze, just held it until Thierry was done checking him for weapons. Maybe a little too roughly but the muscle wouldn't cop to it. Besides no one would stop them if he or any of the others started to get violent. The guards had left and none of the men in the room much cared for Happy.

Finally everyone was cleared and the muscle went to the table, waiting for the rest of the men to sit down. Tully opened his mouth to speak, but Luis just shook his head. “So it's true, yeah? You've given it up?” He stared hard, unreadable, at Tully.

He just smiled mirthlessly folding his hands in front of him. “Retirement looked better.” Tully looked down, for just a moment before he rose his eyes again. “But you knew that.” He couldn't help his tone to be soft and dangerous.

Luis just _laughed._ Shook his head and laughed and Tully bristled again. His jaw visibly clenched as did the rest of him. Tully just wanted a Xanax, to go home to his cell and to sleep. Luis held up his hands in surrender and shook his head. “I'm gonna just assume, _ese_ that you're just frustrated 'cuz you can't beef with your boss.” Of course Tully gave no response to that, so Luis continued. “Really, Tully. We're glad you retired, you're doin' this too long and we were startin' to worry someone was gonna draw a target on your back.”

If it was a joke, it fell flat to Tully even if the rest of the men chuckled. Luis looked to Mickey this time. “Congratulations, 'mano. La Eme is behind you, we're still allies. I'll even keep all our,” and to this he gestured at Tully, “our deals intact with you, no renegotiation necessary. But, you gotta do us a favor.” Another gesture and this time Happy approached the table. Tight and stiff from his beating but still with his chin up.

Of course. Tully saw where this was going and his stomach clenched. Thank god he hadn't eaten, otherwise it might be coming up again. “You gotta either take this maricón with you, and we'll wash our hands of him. Or you kill him, now. He's a snitch, and the only reason he ain't dead now is the MC is paying us. Which they'll continue to do to us, if he lives. Transfer's all ready for that, he ain't goin' back to my block tonight.” Another laugh, as Luis looked back at Happy grinning madly. “Last chance for last rites, I'm a good Catholic boy, I can give 'em.”

Happy said nothing, just looked somewhere a thousand yards away. Tully wanted this death on his hands. But he knew it wasn't his decision. Mickey would make the call, and Tully would have to abide by that if he wanted the Brotherhood to continue without war on three fronts. He could only hope Mickey would pick the right answer. Then let him end this farce of a meeting. “Get the paperwork signed.” Mickey said quietly, and even Tully couldn't keep down his flinch and the look he gave the shot-caller. Luis was giving him a similar one, but out of the very corner of his eye Tully saw Happy just close his eyes and let out the tiniest of breath. He wasn't ready to die this time, apparently.

“Hm, interesting.” Luis commented before he shrugged. “The transfer paperwork'll be signed before you get back to your block.” He glanced at Tully. “I hope your boy's okay with it.”

Juice had been. He'd explicitly said to take Happy on. It hit Tully like a ton of bricks that he hadn't expected to be here for it. That it wouldn't be a problem for Happy to be on the cell block, living and fighting and all of that with them, because Juice was going to be gone. All of a sudden Tully was angry. Livid. He needed to hit something, to destroy it because this was just too much. Juice had planned it, planned to take care of _him_ when he was gone and Tully had missed every. Single. Step. “Anything else?” Mickey spoke evenly. Tully knew he'd been watching and could recognize an impending meltdown. He didn't even want to stop his own temper tantrum at this point. He'd been good. So good and so patient and he was just at the end of his rope.

Maybe Luis recognized it too because he stood up. “Nothing that can't wait until tomorrow or later. I'll be in touch with you, Mickey.” He nodded and then turned to Happy. “I'm sure you jus' cashed in whatever favors you got left with th' man upstairs. Or down, I dunno which you're into.” Luis paused and they all watched as he slugged him right on the spot where Tully had left him with cracked ribs. Happy barely flinched though Tully was fairly certain that crack had become a proper break. “That was for Esai.” Luis spat in his face and walked away again, gesturing for his men to follow.

The men of the AB, plus Happy, waited until they were out before they all stood as well. “Let's get out before it gets too hard to move around.” Mickey ordered and he went to knock on the door. Tully followed, head half turned because he couldn't trust Happy behind him. “Are you going to be okay with this or do you need to let your shit out?” Mickey was eying Tully now, his voice lower. “You've got Pit to consider. We have plans with him, remember.”

For a moment Tully bristled, considering the kinds of “plans” his men often had. But no, it wasn't like that and he knew it. Juice was going to build them an email system. Help them in whatever other ways Mickey could dream up that used his intelligence, his friendliness. Just like Mickey might use any of their skills; he wasn't picking on Juice. Tully looked back to Happy again and there he saw the slightest flinch, the most minute hunching of his shoulders. It might be as broken as that man got; unsure of where his place was in the world, being in limbo with both the MC and these men here. It was kind of pitiable, to see the famed Tacoma Killer in such a way. And as much as Tully wanted to hit, wanted to lash out and be angry and take it out on Happy he knew where he'd relegate the man to if he did. The punching bag, the butt of the joke. Tully couldn't do that. Not with how Juice had told him all the things that being that had done to him. How it had fucked with his head and his self esteem and pushed him to do desperate, stupid things. Tully let out a slow breath from his nose. “It's fine.” He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. “Get me a Xanax and let's get out of here. Please.” Not a shot-caller, can't make demands like that.

Mickey nodded and Thierry knocked for their guard escort. There was one more there, one that was traditionally on Luis' take. At least Luis provided that much. Tully made sure he was cuffed in front this time. No need to do it the other way, when there was no need to without a weapon in his back pocket to get rid of. In silence they walked, at least for a few minutes before Mickey spoke again. “Listen. I don't disagree with the spic. You're on your last goddamn chance around here. If you snitch again, to anyone....” He let the threat trail because obviously he didn't need to say any more than that. “And keep your opinions on Pitbull to yourself. He ain't bad.”

For the first time since Juice left Tully felt a real, though brief, smile come on. Mickey really did appreciate him, it really wasn't just about what Juice could do. Or at least Mickey knew what to say in front of Tully and the others, to keep their loyalty to him. It worked for Tully either way Mickey meant. Happy didn't say anything in response, just grunted in a positive way.

Tully focused inward the rest of the walk. Mickey would get him his benzos, and he could actually sleep without merely tossing and turning at best. Nightmares at worst. He might even break into his own supply and have a chocolate bar. Mickey stepped to the commissary right before they got to their block, and Thierry followed him. Tully trusted McManus to take care of Happy if there was any problem, and was pretty sure the Mexican's screw would jump in as well. “So. Pawns move one square forward, only. Rooks are the castles and they can move forward or back, side to side any number. Bishops move diagonally any number. Knights move in L shapes, the queen can move any number of squares in any direction, and the king can only move one square any direction. Did I get it?” Dave was talking as they stepped onto their block. To whom, Tully couldn't tell.

At least until there was the soft response from his cell. “Yeah, you got it Dave.” Juice. Tully's eyes definitely got big, and he almost darted forward. McManus still had a hold on his waist chain though, so he couldn't.

“See, told you they'd be back before lights out.” Dave said a little smugly, and a little soothing as well.

“Yeah you did.” Tully finally got in front of his cell and Juice was sitting on his bunk, playing with a white bandage that wrapped around his entire left forearm. Brushing it up and down, and most assuredly not looking at Tully as he stepped in. “Th-they said I could stay up there for the next ten days. Or here. Either w-way I-I'm gonna be gone a lot doin' therapy stuff. Between meals and shit. I-I wanna s-stay here but i-if you don't want me to I understand.” Still not looking at Tully, though he saw Juice's eyes flicker to the cell door hearing noises. Tully glanced as well, seeing Happy almost dart across to the cell next door to their own. Because of course that was the only one open. There were sounds of Happy getting settled, and his boy tilted his head to listen. “Gl-glad someone took my advice.” Juice said again softly about Happy's arrival on their block, looking away once more. “I'm sorry Tully.”

Whatever resentment and anger Tully had from the rest of his evening, whatever fear he felt simply melted away and he caught himself before he crashed to his knees. Instead he stepped to sit down next to Juice, crossing his long legs beneath him. “It's alright, Juice.” It _was_ okay. Juice had done it because he'd wanted things to be better, so now it was Tully's turn to step up and make sure Juice would never have to take such drastic action. For the moment he was going to tread carefully though. The boy sniffled, and Tully honestly was about to as well. “Shhh, baby boy. It's okay. I'm not mad, my love.” Tully rose his arm, inviting Juice to come sit closer like they always did. When Juice didn't move for a few beats, he lowered it. He could give it time. Tully had nothing but, now. He backed off for a minute on the hard stuff. “Teaching David how to play chess?”

Juice nodded at that, wiping his eyes with his good hand. “P-pickin' it up quick.” Another few minutes, with Juice still rubbing the bandage during the silence. “Stitches. 'S stitches. Ten days I'll get them out. Th-they'll check it every day after breakfast. Before, uh. Group therapy I think is what he said comes first.” Then he shifted backwards to lean on the wall, raising his voice. “I...Mickey?”

“Yeah?” Was the response from the cell across. Tully glanced; Mickey had returned and was finishing cleaning up. He didn't need the Xanax tonight, probably. At least not for himself, though Juice didn't like the effects he might want it anyway.

“I-I hadda t-tell...what happened.” Tully looked to Juice. There was fear there, but he wasn't going to keep secrets obviously. “About why and what Jeff said and I--”

Mickey cut him off. “They already knew, Pitbull. They saw the change during meals, remember?”

The boy flinched and Tully moved to sit against the wall too, to try again to get him to relax. To calm down because no doubt stress would send him right back up to the hospital wing again. “I t-told them Jeff made you give it up.” Juice finally looked to Tully and then now leaned onto him. “I didn't snitch ab-about anything else. Promise. I'm sorry. They just kept asking and I couldn't-couldn't not say. I hadda--”

“Baby boy,” Tully tilted his chin up, heart clenched for this young man. He'd shown so much control not ten minutes ago, talking to David and keeping his shit together, but he was coming apart because he could when Tully was here. “We'll handle it. I said I would, right?” The boy nodded and once more wiped his tears from his face. “Shhh, it's okay Juice. We're okay.” Tully dipped his head to kiss Juice on the scalp, stroking his bicep. It made him want to cry again, if he was honest, but he held back. “I'm not mad at you.” As much as he tried to avoid it a few tears did slip down his cheeks and he held his lips to Juice's skin. “I got scared, baby.” Tully spoke barely above a whisper. “Mad at myself, for not seeing how you were hurting.”

Juice shook his head, and Tully felt him hiccup with his whole body before Juice pressed even closer. Very nearly onto his lap and Tully almost pulled him all the way there. “I w-wasn't, Tully. I thought a lot about it. Wh-when I couldn't sleep that night. I was okay with it. Just...” Juice sighed and sniffled again, apparently trying to muffle a sob. “I'm sorry.” He apologized again, unable to finish his thought.

Tully just lightly rocked him, keeping him close. Damn whatever anyone else thought, Juice needed this and he was going to give it. “Shhhh, it's okay. It's okay if you don't want to talk about it any more.” He kept running his hand up and down Juice's back soothingly, just trying to get the boy to stop pushing himself so much. “I do understand.” Tully made his lover feel the smile against his scalp. “Doing what you thought was best, I appreciate that.” He stroked the young man's cheek again, with the back of his knuckles and Juice winced slightly. Tully had forgotten that Mickey decked him. “Sorry baby.”

“It's okay.” Another quiet sigh and Juice looked up at him. “Gotta....make Mickey a new blade.” He spoke very quietly, so no one else could hear. “Got his taken away.” Tully wasn't sure it was necessary but Mickey would appreciate the gesture. So he nodded and hummed his approval of the plan and was so glad when Juice smiled just a little. It got a little wider though it was accompanied by a dry chuckle. “It did a good job though. What it was supposed to.” Juice shifted, the bandaged arm resting on Tully's stomach as he moved to get comfortable. “Forty stitches on top for two, thirty on the bottom.” He rolled his arm as he talked.

“Mickey only saw one.” If this was how Juice wanted to talk about it, he could do this. His boy was a welcome weight on his torso though. It kept Tully grounded.

Juice nodded. “He didn't- didn't see them I don't think. Doc called them hesitation marks...” A little roll of one shoulder, Juice's shrug. “I wasn't hesitating, just. Didn't want to see this anymore. The Reaper.” He sighed and squeezed his eyes tightly. “Ate what was left of your dinner. They didn't let me eat while I was there, they th-thought I might have to go into surgery. Doc who did the stitches was real nice. She was a PA, actually. Just kept talking to me when the shrink wasn't so I wasn't. Wasn't wigging out. And was fast. Th-think I'll ask for her next time I need to see a doc.”

Tully just listened, moving his hands to either stroke Juice's back or tangle with his boy's fingers. “I'm glad someone was there that made you feel comfortable.” More kissing his head and Tully buried a yawn. “And my dinner would have been cold, baby boy. Must have been terrible, it was barely edible while it was hot.”

The young man huffed in his arms. ”I was hungry. Even I can eat whatever's in front of me when I'm hungry.” Juice sat up a little and pressed a kiss to Tully's cheek. Shy, but it was his first real show of affection to Tully. “Left you the cookie.” Aside from the cuddles and the clinging at any rate. “Can we still have our date tomorrow?” Juice was barely loud enough for him to hear.

That sweet boy of his; no doubt he'd wanted the cookie after such a stressful afternoon. But it was Tully's so he'd bypassed it and gone to the dog food. “Baby that was yours when I saw you next.” Tully kissed his head again and then tilted his chin down to kiss those soft lips tenderly. And then a little deeper; Tully couldn't help himself, he'd almost lost him. “And of course we can. Mac and cheese?” Well, ramen noodles and Velveeta. Hot sauce to make it tasty. “Or orange chicken?” Tully kissed him again. “Assuming we get off of lockdown. We'll move our date to the day after if we can't.”

“Mac and cheese, please.” A small nod, and then he looked up to Tully for yet another proper kiss. “Oreos and pudding for dessert.” The “cup of dirt”, a dessert that his boy had loved when Tully made it before. Just one more way that it seemed like Juice was younger than he actually was. Seeking comfort food, physical touch. But not just with anyone; with Tully, his lover. It was Juice's turn to yawn against him, and he tucked his head down on Tully's chest. “Tired.”

Tully was too. But he'd do anything for Juice and if he needed Tully to stay up longer until he fell asleep, he could do that. “Should go change first.” Juice squeezed Tully's middle one more time before he let go and sat up. “I love you. I really-- I really do.” Juice didn’t seem to be able to look at him again. Embarrassment, judging by the flush crawling up his neck. “I-I'm sorry.”

Tully shifted to sling an arm over Juice's shoulders again, kissing his temple. “I forgive you, baby boy.” Juice needed to hear it more than he needed to say it. To Tully there wasn't anything really to forgive. Except maybe one thing. “Just don't-- don't scare me again.” He dropped his hand to rub Juice's strong back, that bore the weight of the world and its problems. Juice nodded and leaned into Tully briefly once more before he stood to get undressed.

Juice was protecting his injured arm a bit, but not enough to make Tully want to get up and help him. The former shot-caller didn't even do that much when Juice was much worse off; he certainly didn't need it now. Instead Tully shucked off his own clothes, tossing them in the hamper. “Looks nice.” Juice was admiring the recycled paper that Tully had entirely forgotten about. What concerned him was how Juice was worrying at his bottom lip before he pulled on an undershirt for sleeping in. His own, Tully also noted with a little bit of sadness. He just waited, brushing his teeth. Juice finished brushing, and then sat back down on his bunk to pick at the bandage again. He stopped himself with a squeeze of his eyes, putting his hand behind his knee. “I thought. I thought about writing th-the note on it. Glad I didn't. Mina deserves it more than I do.” Juice's other elbow rested on his knee, and he looked now at the floor. “Gotta call my bank in the morning. Or when I can.” He sighed.

It made Tully's heart ache with sadness, the selflessness of the act for someone Juice didn't even know, even as he was confused as to what he meant with the rest. “Your bank?” His spoke around his toothbrush.

“God knows who's seen my account number by now...” Juice mumbled before he looked up to him, confusion now on his face. “That's. That's what was on the bottom. Routing number and account. You didn't recognize it?” He gave Tully a flicker of a smile. “Thought it would-- you know. You could take what you needed. Or wanted.” His boy's hand came up from the spot behind his knee he'd placed it, resuming picking at his bandage. He made himself stop a second time by sticking his hand in his pocket. “Will you come sleep with me?”

Tully rinsed and nodded. His chest still ached with extinguishing fear so he rubbed it slightly before finishing changing. “Wild horses couldn't stop me, my love.” The smile grew stronger and Juice laid down to his side and rolled over. Giving his back to Tully, trusting as always. “Want me to read to you?” Juice shook his head and Tully just crawled into bed with him. The weight of Juice against his chest, the heat of his beloved nearby finally made the last band of anxiety free itself from his heart. This was how everything was supposed to be and Juice seemed to sag in silent agreement as Tully wrapped his arms around him. The bandage was rough under Tully's skin but he wouldn't move for anything. “Love you baby.” Tully kissed the back of Juice's head lightly as he twined his fingers with Juice's.

“Love you too.” Juice was quiet and once the lights flicked off he spoke again. “I almost-- almost didn't. I thought you knew what was going on, when you told me to talk to someone.” He was barely speaking above a whisper. “But I didn't want you to give this up. Your place with everyone.”

Tully opened his mouth and tried to keep from letting out a whimper, but he failed at it miserably. A tiny sound escaped and he squeezed Juice now, clinging himself as he had been clung to. Juice hissed at it but instead of allowing Tully to release him he just tightened his hold on his fingers. “I know, I know,” Juice's murmur was wavering as he held back more of his own tears. “I know it's not-- I know you're okay but. But I wasn't, 's not fair th-that you have to. To..” He sobbed again, curling up so as to catch the sound. “All my fault...”

“Baby shhh....shhh it's not your fault.” Tully murmured as he continued to hold the weeping boy with as much contact as possible. He'd have pulled off his shirt and Juice's too if he could have; Juice adored skin-to-skin touch and it seemed to help. “Shhh, love. It's not fair no, I'd have it all, you and this if I could. But I made my choice and I don't regret it. I promise, sweet boy I don't. And I won't.” Tully kissed the back of Juice's neck again. “I love you so much, Juan Carlos Ortiz, and nothing will stop me from feeling that. Do you understand?” His voice was shaking again and he let it this time. “I wouldn't...couldn't find anyone else if you were gone. Believe me?”

Juice nodded so Tully continued, sniffling a bit. “You're stuck with me l-like a bad case of VD.” And his boy this time let out that sobbing laugh that was a little more hopeful. “So you an' me, we're going to get through your whole sentence together, and after we'll figure something out, got it beautiful? My pretty, smart, sweet sexy Puerto Rican.” Tully kissed him again, this time lifting himself up to get Juice's neck, his ear, and his cheek. As much as he could reach of his face, really. “So you c-can't leave me, Juice. Not again. Please.” Now he was begging and Tully didn't even feel shame. Just snuggled closer and pet his boy's chest again. “Just promise...to tell me. You did that once, that you were hurting and you trusted me to take care of you.” Tully did huff a bit. “Admittedly I didn't exactly follow through the way you wanted but...please.”

Another sobbing laugh, still with even less force and sadness. “Okay.” Juice spoke, sniffling. “I will. I'll...I'l t-talk to you, Papi. Ca-can't guarantee anything but...I'll talk.”

“Good enough.” Tully agreed and kissed him again. “Go to sleep, baby. I'm exhausted too.” Long day tomorrow. Juice did finally go into only sniffles, and even that petered out until he was sleeping. Tully just about managed to stay awake until Juice was firmly snoozing, and then he dropped off to sleep himself. He didn't dream, thankfully. No doubt he would have had nightmares of not having saved Juice, of not having this warmth, this security of his beloved in his arms.

For the first time in a long time Juice stayed asleep the whole night through. And to his surprise when he woke up, Tully had as well. Must have been the presence of his boy; cuddled in his arms like he was some kind of teddy bear.

Getting ready for breakfast was a quiet affair though Juice stuck close to Tully, dressing and brushing his teeth with one hand on his skin somewhere. They filed out, Juice before Tully like nothing had happened the previous day and it was only when they were in the circle that they separated. Dave settled behind him but before they could move away Juice glanced around the group of men and frowned, backing toward his and Tully's cell. Except it wasn't their own he was going to. “H-H-Hap.” Juice stammered not even bothering to hide his fear. Despite it he was still there; standing in front of his abuser, his rapist and trying.... something _._ Tully moved through the crowd to stand a little off to the side to watch. Wondering how his boy was shoving his own boundaries and needs away for another _this_ time. “Ha-Happy you sh-shouldn't sk-skip meals. C'm-mon man.” Juice's fingers went to the bandage and he trembled.

Tully looked over to Happy. The man was staring hard at Juice, toothpick flicking back and forth in his mouth. He didn't look like he'd had much intention to move and Tully reached for Juice's fingers. “Baby.” They needed to go to breakfast, to get Juice away before he bolted back into their cell in fear or worse had a flashback. “C'mon, love.” He understood what Juice was doing, sort of. He'd said that Happy was useful; he wasn't going to be proven wrong. Couldn't be proven wrong, in his mind, concerned for the consequences. No one of the AB would blame him if Happy chose not to play the game and the results of that decision would lay on Happy. Juice sighed and let Tully pull him back to their place, fidgeting with the bandage edge again. The look on his face was heartbreaking; Juice tried so _hard._ Tully slung his arm over this boy's shoulders and gave him a kiss on the temple. “Can lead a stubborn ass to water but you can't make him drink, baby boy.” Tully murmured.

“Give it time, Pit.” Mickey spoke, also a little reassuring. “You didn't want to come out of your cave, either.” He laughed though it wasn't unkind, not anymore than usual anyway. Juice smiled for a moment, but the weight of his feelings pulled his face to sadness again. Tully gave him another kiss before they started to head for the cafeteria.

His boy didn't exactly hide his arm but he also didn't use it nearly as much as he could have, preferring to instead do it with his other hand. Kept his injuries low key if he could. Tully tangled his fingers with Juice's whenever he had the chance, forcing him to use it more than he wanted. If nothing else juggling Tully's hold and his own hesitation helped to keep his mind off of Happy. Juice finally did give him that smile, the bright one before he tucked into the breakfast. It wasn't even that bad of a meal. Maybe Tully felt that way because he was eating it with his boy at his side. Tully bumped his shoulder against Juice's as he slowly ate his food, taking a look around the cafeteria. It was strangely quiet and subdued today. Everyone was just eating, talking in their own groups. Not shouting across at each other or moving around too much, just eating. Not even too much paranoid scanning like he was doing, keeping an eye out for fights.

There wasn't anything going _on_ , and he'd been about to go back to teasing Juice when a disgruntled shuffling at the end of his own table drew his attention and his frown. Happy was silently waiting for the others to move over so he could sit. “Budge up.” Mickey gestured for the MC's man to be able to take the end. Not the safest place to sit at a table but it was what Happy deserved.

Tully would rather have him rotting in a shallow grave with only a marker bearing his prisoner number, but he couldn't get everything he wanted. Over on that end well away from Juice was good enough. It had to be. “G-glad you decided t-t-to join us. B-breakfast is the mo-most important m-meal of th-the day.” Juice stuttered out, looking to Tully for approval.

Which Tully gave with a squeeze of his hand on Juice's leg. He couldn't deny his lover praise for trying to get through his trauma, not when he needed to survive the next couple of years. Happy just grunted quietly and ate, stiff, over his food. Juice returned to his own breakfast satisfied with the response he got from Happy. “What did you want for dinner again, tonight?” Tully not so subtly encouraged him to think about other things once more. Besides he needed to know so that he could get the ingredients for them now, or at lunch. Now would be preferable; everyone hit up the commissary after lunch.

“Mac and cheese. Dirt cups for dessert. Actually can we p-put it off until tomorrow? I just-- I want to see what the schedule is like, if I can even skip dinner.” Tully nodded because it made sense to him and the rest of breakfast went by uneventfully. No one bothered Mickey for anything and they just conversed idly about whatever came to mind. None of the men even brought up Juice's attempt, just treated him as they always did. Lightly teased him and pulled him into easy debates or discussions. Business as usual, and by the time breakfast was over Juice's smile was there, small but not fading away. He stood up with Tully right behind him as they dumped their trays away and wandered towards the store to buy things for their date the next evening. “Oh...Pearson...um...thank you.” Juice was quiet, and Tully briefly and as hidden as he could rested his fingers on his back.

The guard nodded. “Know where we're headed? What we talked about?” She seemed to be ignoring Tully's touch. Even though it was too close for the rules. Unusual but perhaps she was focused on getting Juice to come without a fight.

“Yeah. Clinic.” He was quiet, and Tully watched him hesitate for a moment before he offered up his wrists in surrender. “Be back for lunch?”

Another nod as she cuffed him gently. “Probably. A lot of that depends on you, of course.” If he didn't want to return, if he was well enough behaved. Things that didn't need to be said, not with a couple of seasoned inmates like they were. “Say your goodbyes.” Pearson actually smiled at Juice, letting him know she was teasing Tully about his relationship.

The boy just blushed deeply and let Pearson lead him away to the hospital wing. If Tully remembered last night correctly, it was a wound check and a bandage change, and then therapy of some sort. Tully watched Juice as long as he could before he finally turned from the commissary and went outside. Already he missed his boy at his side and he had to calm his heartbeat down; it had jumped up a few beats when he left. His body just felt in danger where there was none. Tully just followed Mickey to the benches, this time sitting properly on the seat while Mickey took the high perch. Didn't feel quite right, of course, and Mickey allowed him the moment to adjust. He probably needed it as well. “You alright?”

Should he tell him the truth? Tully wasn't one for looking weak. On the other hand, fuck it. Mickey wasn't going to spread his business any more than Tully was doing already. “Worried. About everything and nothing.” Tully started to scan the yard. Happy was working out. Alone, of course, but closer to the AB than anyone else. “Dumb shit's gonna get himself killed.” Tully said aloud about the tattooed biker. “I shouldn't care, but I do because the boy would take it personally. Juice is at the doc's but I can't help but think something awful is going to happen while he's there.” Tully leaned back against the picnic table, twisting to squint up at Mickey. His brother's face was impassive as he watched the yard and listened to Tully. “I'll be alright eventually,” Tully looked away, “but he lives like this all the time. Always concerned, always worrying. Christ almighty.”

“Your housewife's better with you, Tully. He relaxes and he shows how smart he is.” Mickey spoke gruffly, focusing now on the few inmates coming up towards them. “You're better with him too. Less likely to snap at one of us.” He huffed in the way that was his laughter. “Just too wrapped up in each other to see it. That's what makes us better. The AB. Yeah, Nuke got hurt but it could have happened for any reason, at any time. Not because of you two and your tongues down each other's throats. That's what Jeff doesn't get. We ain't in a vacuum here, not like he is in Florence.” Micky looked back down at Tully. “You needed to retire, brother, but not because you've turned to shit. Cuz you found something better and deserved it.”

Tully would have smiled, if they weren't outside and there wasn't a couple of inmates watching even closer, waiting to be summoned over. “Now get your shit together.” Mickey was apparently done dispensing advice for the day. “I ain't your damn shrink. Now what the fuck do you two half-breed shits want?”

Now Tully did smirk; so very like Mickey. He wouldn't show too much sympathy even before he became shot-caller. Tully half listened to the other mens' problems, thinking now. _Mickey_ wasn't a shrink but there was always-- there was always Pearson's offer. See someone professional, talk with them about whatever he needed to talk about. Being Juice's lover sometimes, his caretaker others. Not that Tully was bothered by those roles, he loved Juice and that's what you did when you were in love. Having someone else to talk to about it was starting to seem like a good idea. It wasn't like he was going to tell any the AB's secrets, or even many of his own. He'd discuss it with Mickey later. Tully couldn't be accused of snitching if he got the boss' permission. Theoretically, anyway.

After time on the yard it was Tully's turn for a shower. He missed Juice's presence there too, even more than he did out in the yard. He shouldn't have ever let the boy switch to showering with the others, no matter how much Tully enjoyed his alone time. Juice simply hadn't been ready.

Tully knew that was an irrational thought. He'd been as ready as he could have been, and despite some protesting he'd been just fine. It was only when Tully had changed things in their lives that he'd felt the need to take care of them both. Felt the need to correct what he saw as Tully's mistake. They could talk about it more later. Tully sighed as he shaved his face after his wash. Juice would likely be on one-to-one showers for a while now, now that he'd made a serious attempt at his own life in gen pop. Alone and in protective custody it had been easier for the administration to control his access to dangerous things; taking away his blankets and belt and shoelaces when he'd tried before. Now, they'd be keeping a closer eye on the rest of the block and wherever Juice spent time. No doubt their cell was going to be tossed and soon.

Of course Tully was right about that and he spent the time before lunch cleaning up their cell from the room toss. He was glad that all of the previous contraband was gone now; it would make any future searches for this reason a lot simpler. Mickey would be crabby that neither Tully nor Juice could carry weapons but he'd live with it. Especially when Juice followed through on what he'd said he'd do to help Mickey. It wasn't an 'if' situation there. Tully knew Juice would.

The search party had apparently eyeballed and picked up his paper making contraption, leaving it alone ultimately but lightly twisting it so the paper wasn't drying straight. Tully reset it before he sat down on the bunk and looked around. It wasn't sterile but it was clean. Juice could settle here, he wouldn't be stressed out by a messy cell.

Juice met them at lunch, a fresh bandage over his arm. He also had a smile on his face and was even chattier than normal. The therapy, talking in a group of people that wasn't the Sons or the Aryan Brotherhood, must have done him some good already. Tully leaned into him to whisper in his ear. “I'm proud of you.” He needed to say it, and Juice needed to hear it just like he needed to hear that Tully loved him. He sat up and glanced around the table; his men were politely ignoring Juice's blush but were pleased at the even brighter smile. It was strange, really, to see these hardcore racists, criminals who would have just as soon murdered Juice for the color of his skin and his mental illnesses, accepting him. Rooting for him in their own way and supporting him as well. Perhaps it was because of Tully's involvement that they did it, but Tully wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. It would have been much shorter of a relationship if he'd have had to fight his own men on it.

Tully caught Happy glancing at Juice, watching him out of the corner of his eye. He had a strange expression on his face which of course Tully couldn't read. It was something like awe, something like fondness and a lot of disbelief and a lot of anger. The moment Happy noticed him looking, his face went totally neutral and he started back into eating.

Eventually they got up to go their separate ways. His boy even chanced trouble and pecked Tully on the cheek, before McManus took him away to the clinic wing. Tully was left with a dumb puppy smile on his face, which got the rest of the AB teasing him about it. He just took it in stride, rolling his eyes and flipping the bird to them. Rank, even when retired, had it's privileges.

After depositing his tray Tully found himself wandering towards the library. It was quiet, mostly safe, and he wanted to look at that book on massage. Maybe bounce to the investing and retirement section again. As he exited the cafeteria Tully found he wasn't alone. Happy had followed him; Tully rose an eyebrow, but he got no response beyond that damn toothpick flipping from one side to the other. As long as he kept away from Tully, he'd tolerate it. He still didn't like the man and likely never would. Juice might have forgiven him but Tully wouldn't. Not ever; Happy had broken his boy, made him afraid even more than anyone else had before. Juice was still fighting his own mind and even though he was beginning to win, it wasn't fair that he'd had to do it at all. Because of Happy.

Tully sighed as he thought. The rest of the MC hadn't done Juice any favors, either. They had dictated his life, tugged him this way and that and gave him no choices until he'd gone and finally _taken_ one in his hands. Asking Tully for death, which he'd been denied. But even that small act of asking had done him a world of good and Tully's support now was helping him do what he needed to do to take care of himself. To grow without the MC. “Has your Scot called you yet, Lucky? Talked to you?” Tully was suddenly curious as he gestured for Happy to step closer. He didn't want to be trailed by this man. Didn't trust Happy behind him without guards or other AB.

He merely got a grunt in response as Happy indeed stepped up to him, hands in his pockets. Tully figured that's all he was going to get before he was surprised again. “V.P. called before the meeting yesterday.” Tully glanced to him. Happy was still more stiff than he was showing, the beating he'd taken lingering. “They'll take it to the table in the next day or two.” So his recommendation really did do something.

Tully counted back on the timing and then understood. “You really weren't ready to go, were you Lucky? When Luis told us to kill you or take you in. You needed your family to tell you you were part of them again.”

Silence was Happy's response but Tully felt another flinch. “Hm. Interesting. If they say no, can I kill you? My sweet boy may forgive but....” He didn't have to continue. “We can keep it just between you and me. I suppose you should tell Mickey, if you wish.”

Happy made a noise that Tully was associating with 'yes' and it made his heart soar. There was still a chance for revenge, even if before he'd denied Happy an ending and been denied from giving one as well. They made it to the library, and Happy broke off from keeping in step with the former shot-caller.

Tully spent the rest of the afternoon curled up in a corner of the library, reading the book on alternative therapies. Reminding himself how to give an adequate massage, as he'd promised Juice he would earlier, and scoffing at the chapters on chakras and essential oils. Tully was far more practical than that and in the end he rejected the book and searched the shelves for a different one. He found a book exclusively on massage therapy easily enough, having looked at these shelves for many years. Tully passed behind Happy on his way to check out. Predictably the man was hunched over a magazine about motorcycles. But he shut it and followed Tully as soon as he noticed he was at the small desk that functioned as a checkout stand. “Just this one, Tully?” Cornelius wasn't looking right at him, but behind at Happy. Fear was deep in his eyes even as he tried to remain casual.

It felt good to be able to wave and have Happy rumble and step outside. Like a dog; Tully could accept that. “That's all, Cornelius, thank you.”

“Congratulations on your retirement, Tully.” The elderly man did switch back to his usual demeanor as soon as Happy was gone. “Just a question, what do you plan on doin' with your time now?” He smirked just the tiniest bit, though only for a second. _Other than the obvious_ , it said as he took the book.

Tully shrugged. “Haven't figured it out, totally.” It was honest; nor did he mind telling Cornelius that much, at least.

He nodded. “If you and your boys don't mind you working with an ol' nigger I'll have an opening in a couple of months.” A gesture to the other inmate behind the desk area, helping another man. “I'm losin' Bran here to parole.” Cornelius slid the book back over. “Just think about it. Talk it over with them, and lemme know?”

Tully couldn't help but agree to that; really he was a little stunned to hear the offer. While he'd never been exactly mean to Cornelius, Tully hadn't exactly been nice either. It came with the territory of who he was. Who he was associated with. The library posts were pretty cushy, well sought after and Cornelius' recommendation was necessary for the prison screws to consider an inmate for one. Perhaps the _only_ thing they needed, judging by the way Cornelius spoke. He'd speak to Mickey about that then, as well as the few other things that had come up in his head. Tully thanked him and on his way out tossed another chit into the jar as a donation. As before, Happy followed him. “Walk beside me, Lucky.” Tully told him explicitly this time. Mostly just to see him obey.

This walk was silent this time, which Tully was more than okay with. It gave him time to think about his boy. How he was going to spoil him as soon as he was allowed giving him massages and home cooked dinners until he was relaxed, every night until they both slept comfortably. Tully was able to put his book into his cell just in time to leave for dinner.

As before Juice met them there. His smile was smaller, more forced, though he tried to keep up with the conversation just as he had at lunch so that no one saw how hurt he was. The AB just continued to draw him in, ignoring how close he stuck to Tully. Their shoulders nearly continually touched and Juice kept brushing their fingers together even atop the table, though he looked like it was an accident. Even heading back to their cell after dinner Juice tangled his fingers with Tully's as soon as he could. Breaking the rules, but the guards turned a blind eye to them as he wasn't flaunting _how_ he was breaking them.

It was a little surreal; not too long ago they'd have been separated by a glare or a gesture, maybe a whistle. Now the guards just seemed to be taking pity on Juice, giving him allowances to make him happy and keep him from self-harming again. His beloved sat down on the bunk when they were finally home for the evening, sighing a little and rubbing his eyes. Tully watched as he sagged, now that he didn't have to perform for everyone. “Baby boy?” Tully sat down next to him, bringing his boy close against his chest. “You okay? What do you need?” See if his boy could tell him, and if it was something Tully could take care of.

Juice sighed and shook his head. “Hold me.” He properly settled to cuddle even as he said it. “Talked about hard shit.” Another sigh.

This was going to be a long week. Tully wrapped his long arms around Juice and tugged him so they leaned on the wall. “You don't have to tell me if you don't want, baby boy.” He kissed the crown of Juice's head.

“Thank you.” Juice murmured and drew his legs up to his chest, a ball at Tully's side. He only looked tense; Tully felt his boy relax. “Tell me what you did? Did you miss me?”

“Mmhm.” Of course he did. Tully told Juice of his day. Talking to Mickey, visiting the library. He left out the part where Happy joined him, unsure of how his boy would react. He might not care, might even be pleased that Happy was trying with one of them but Tully didn't want to take the risk that it would make Juice's day worse. “Glad to be back here with you, though.” A gentle hum reverberated through his chest and Tully looked down to see his boy had his eyes closed. He was still, not even fidgeting and picking at his bandage. Tully remembered what Mickey said earlier, about Juice truly calming around him. He kissed his boy on the forehead. “I'm still proud of you, my pretty Puerto Rican.”

Juice smiled up at him, opening those big brown eyes and gave him another kiss. Then shifted and lifted one hand to delicately turn Tully's face toward his lips so they could kiss properly. It was surprisingly forward for Juice and of course Tully's body took interest. His cock hardened and Juice smiled on feeling it. “Can we....tonight? Slow.” Not like in the yard; that had been goodbye. This was going to be assurance that he was still alive, for both of them. Tully could almost see all those thoughts swirling through Juice's head. “I couldn't. Couldn't let him be the last person inside of me. That's why I-I needed you s-so bad ”

“Of course.” What else could Tully say? Especially with the little reminder that they really hadn't been intimate in a while; factually correct or not that was how Juice perceived their physical relationship. They could rediscover each other, stoke the fires of love and desire. Slow and easy.

That night, after they were done and both drifting off to sleep Juice mumbled again. “I'm sorry. Love you.”

 


	6. Chapter 6

That was how the next ten days went. Meetings with the other shot-callers and outside gang members informing them of Mickey's promotion and taking charge of the AB. Tully recieved a letter from Jeff that he just tossed to Mickey without opening it. Petty, yes, but Tully was far from perfect. The letter turned out to be very short: _Good. Pity, but good._ It was Mickey who would said he would respond, ordering Tully to stand down. “I don't need you to start shit.” Mickey glared at him from across the hall. “Like you said you weren't going to.”

“Doesn't stop me from calling him a two-faced SOB kike.” Tully pouted, and smirked at Juice who was giggling a little as he dressed before breakfast.

“That's startin' shit, Tully.” Mickey growled. “Who knows who's listening, we still haven't found out who told him what was going on in the very first place. And besides, he held his nose and talked to the wetbacks for the good of the AB, so you can hold back and _not engage him_. I'll write the damn letter.” It made Tully pout more, but on the other hand he was glad it wasn't his problem.

Those ten days were a roller coaster for everyone. Some meals Juice rejoined them and was grinning wide. Talking, even teasing and properly arguing with the other men of the Brotherhood. Some of them Juice returned silent, his eyes dark and hurting. Once they were still red and watery and Tully just about abandoned his meal so they could cuddle in private. It had been Juice who stopped him, keeping such a grip on his hand beneath the table it might have hurt if it was a fraction tighter. Obviously he didn't want Tully to make such an enormous deal out of it then, but that night as they snuggled Juice finally broke, sobbing himself to sleep. Tully almost cried too, his throat tight but he kept it together for his boy, gently shushing him and rubbing his scalp.

Tully never asked what Juice discussed in therapy. He trusted his boy to be aware of what he was saying, of what information he couldn't give out. Prison officials were still listening after all. Therapy sessions in prison weren't covered by the same rules as they were on the outside and they could act on information they were given. Despite knowing that Tully considered Pearson's offer again. Especially after the night that Juice couldn't stop crying, because it had just about broken Tully's heart all over again. Made it ache, made him think he wasn't doing enough. He knew it was irrational, but that didn't stop him from having those thoughts.

Tully decided against seeing a professional, for now. Nothing against shrinks, at least any more than his usual concerns dealing with prison administration but Tully was doing just fine without. Especially as their routine returned and Juice was more and more self sufficient emotionally. He could always change his mind, later.

One day Juice came to lunch without a bandage. “Good?” Tully asked as Juice sat, gesturing.

Juice turned his arm over, looking at both sets of slashes, the flesh held together by small and neat black stitches. Two diagonal across the Reaper, and one long straight one from mid forearm to his wrist. “I don't need it wrapped anymore. Long as I don't pick.” Juice spoke quietly, embarrassed as he tucked his arm under the table on his lap again. “They're gonna scar regardless.”

“I like your scars.” Tully told him immediately because he did like them. All the ones on Juice's body told his boy's story. These newest ones might have made Tully's heart skip a beat or two, but he knew he'd get over that. He smiled and Juice's returning one calmed that ache again. “And I'll make sure to keep your hands busy so you leave your stitches alone.” He smirked and now Juice blushed with a different sort of embarrassment. “My good boy who I love.” Tully murmured once Juice was thoroughly smiling again before he started in on his food.

“Love you too.” Juice bumped shoulders with him and tucked in, too.

He was late for dinner. Tully spent his time between lunch and dinner with his men. Working out in the yard. Just enough that it was clear he was putting in the effort to stay healthy. Happy too was working out but further away as seemed to be his custom; it worked for everyone in that they could keep an eye out on him and back him up if necessary but he was very clearly not _with_ them.

After another rousing game of cards they went inside to their cells. Tully toweled off, feeling the good ache in his body. A little bit of pain to keep him focused. It reminded him to check his palm. The slice he'd made was barely visible now. Probably why Juice hadn't asked about it. Though if he _had_ seen it, Juice was good enough to say nothing.

Reminding himself that he could lift his pain away was a good thing as Tully's heart thrummed with anxiety when Juice didn't meet them in the chow line. Then he didn't show up at the table and Tully had to take a slow deep breath. He just kept looking up and around, trying to spot the sweet young man's tattooed scalp.

“They would tell us if something had happened, Tully.” Dave piped up not unkindly. “Right?”

Tully didn't have an answer. Theoretically, they didn't have to tell the inmates shit. The guards were doing it to them as a favor, but maybe Juice had hurt himself again and they blamed Tully. He shook his head, trying to clear it of those circling thoughts. Maybe he'd re-reconsider seeing someone. “Yeah, they would.” It wasn't a lie, but it also wasn't totally the truth.

“HEY BOYS!” Nuke's booming voice made Tully jump and almost knock over his carton of milk. Despite wanting to wallow in worry, he smiled at the return of his muscle. His concern vanished as well because Juice was right behind him. Pushing Nuke, Tully realized, who was in a wheelchair as Pearson promised. “Down this end! Wait I can do it Pitty. Here take your dinner.” Nuke handed him the tray that had been on his lap before he turned himself, stopping at the end of the table as far from Happy as he could manage. He didn't even disguise his hatred for the other man. Juice must have told him what the deal had been. “So, Pitbull tells me you like, fuckin' retired. Really, Tully?” He started to eat voraciously. “Fuckin' hospital food. Pit was right, this shit's better.”

Juice sat down beside Tully, murmuring an apology as he squeezed Tully's fingers with a silent declaration of adoration. “Really. I gave it up.”

Nuke nodded. The man seemed okay, chair aside. “Well I gave up leg day!” Nuke howled with laughter at his own joke. “So, Mickey's boss now, huh?”

“Yep.” Tully slid his cookie over to Juice so the boy had two. He needed to give the boy something for returning, for not doing the worst. Maybe it was because he hadn't spoiled his boy yet today and he had the desire. The _need_ to, at this point. They had kept putting off their date nights. Juice hummed gratefully and smiled at him. Those smiles were, for all the sadness Juice had gone through and felt, becoming more frequent in the last week or so. Tully loved them. Had always loved them but they meant more now, somehow.

Dinner went along as it always did, like nothing was different. Like Nuke wasn't in a wheelchair and Happy wasn't at the other end of the table. Juice and Tully were shoulder to shoulder while Nuke caught them all up on things from his end. (“I can still use my dick.” “No one needed to know.”) They caught him up on all the minor details of things in turn. Juice had told him a great deal but there was still some things he wasn't totally privy to. There _was_ a minor interruption near the end, where a couple of guards and a doctor came up to Nuke “suggesting” he come back to the hospital wing. Of course the stubborn ass refused. “Prefer my cell. I'll figure shit out.”

Juice was tense against Tully's side as Nuke argued with the guards, obviously fearing a real fight. Eventually the authorities went away with promises to check in on Nuke that morning. Nuke just rolled his eyes to it, but at least verbally thanked them. It was only after they'd left that Tully could run a hand down his boy's spine, humming deep enough that only Juice could hear him. Almost instantly Juice did relax, did start eating again instead of remaining stiff and still like a rabbit might.

“Pit you an' me are gonna go out in the morning after their song and dance and work out. You've lost muscle, boy and I've only been gone a week. I can tell you ain't been eating right, Tully can't possibly been feeding you enough.” Nuke said between bites of his cookie.

Tully just glared at him because he could take care of his beloved perfectly well, thank you very much. But he had to soften his look because Juice was giggling softly. “Thanks, Nuke. Can I take a rain check? Therapy. The docs won't let me skip it.”

The way Nuke's face fell made Tully smile a little. “Alright, Pitbull. Rain check it is!” Nuke declared before leaning back and rolling backwards enough to put the tray on his lap. “And uh, you still want to do a painting class?”

The boy nodded and Tully couldn't help himself as his chest swelled with pride. He draped his arm around Juice's shoulders and leaned in to place a quick kiss to his cheek. Nuke had just slotted right into their life like nothing had changed, and it was something that Juice had clearly needed. A cleared throat behind him made Juice jump and Tully release him to glare. Damn Pearson. But they didn't argue, just got up. “W-wanna push, Nuke?”

Juice was a little hesitant to move from Tully, but at the same time his nature meant he had to at least offer to help. “Nah. Well yeah, might as well. Otherwise we'll get home just in time to turn 'round for breakfast.” Nuke grabbed Juice's tray out of his hands, setting it on top of his own. “Gotta get some uh...some like workout gloves or some shit and get good at this maneuvering stuff. They were talkin' like, wheelies and quick spins are super important.”

Nuke kept talking as they walked back which Tully tuned out in favor of watching his boy. Juice wasn't saying much still, letting Nuke speak. Tully wondered how they'd met up; he assumed that it was in the hospital wing but it was only an assumption. He did have a small smile on his face, apparently pleased, perhaps because he'd made enough of an impression to still be friends with Nuke. Tully would ask about it later. If he remembered.

Ultimately it wasn't that important because he didn't remember. Juice wanted to go another round that night and Tully was only too happy to oblige. He wanted to be close to his boy, to show him how much he adored him. Tully still had to get a hold of someone so he could set up Juice's apology and the first time with Tully that he deserved.

Later when Tully was wrapped around him, still inside Juice though softening, Juice just made a sweet and happy hum. “Still love you.”

“Love you too.” Tully kissed the back of his neck lightly.

“I want your tattoo.” Juice spoke softly, as always so he didn't interrupt anyone else's sleep. “When Nuke does my chest, I want to get my hand done like we talked about. So everyone knows whose I am. That we're together.” His boy snuggled closer; it was like old times though those old times were merely a few weeks ago. Before all the really terrible things happened to them. “I don't needa think about it, before you say anything.” He chuckled. “People will still stare at my head first. They never notice anything else.”

Tully kissed him behind the ear, hissing as he involuntarily slipped out of the young man. “Okay, okay. We'll figure out the details, get Nuke to do it when he's up for it.” Giving his permission even if Juice didn't really need or want it. “I'll get yours.” He spoke firmly himself, certain of his own decision as he always was. Not giving Juice a chance to argue about his worthiness of being inked into Tully's skin. If the boy accepted the permanency of having a reminder of Tully on him, then so was Tully.

The days progressed and finally Juice graduated to therapy three times a week instead of twice a day. He tried to go about it without fanfare but when he told Tully quietly before dinner he had to know he wasn't going to succeed. Tully immediately told the rest of them because it was a chance for the boys to celebrate. To cut loose a little; they hadn't had much of a reason to lately. It was fortunate that they hadn't actually started fighting though some of it was because Mickey was starting to make noise about boxing. Or rather, getting a league set up so as to burn some of that extra energy and look good to the administration. It was what they were discussing now, after they'd presented Juice with his prison “cake” for his advancement. Really it was more a peanut butter pie with M&Ms on top, but it was still a delicious dessert. Just prior to that Mickey informed Tully that he was released from his attendance in the endless meetings and, more happily, given leave to do join Cornelius at the library when the time came.

Tully was so pleased with that, and Juice's news, that even he was having a piece of the pie. Normally he abstained because of the amount of sugar but drinking milk with each bite seemed to help with the sweetness. He watched Juice from their bunk, at the bars playing an across-the-hallway game of chess with David. “No, Mickey, I ain't gonna join the lightweight class. Sure you wanna put your queen there? E3?” Tully didn't hear Dave's response, just Juice's. “Yeah, you got my knight. Bishop to E3, take the queen and checkmate, brother.” Juice chuckled and turned to Tully, blowing him a kiss and looking back across the hall. “Good game, though. Another?”

“Why not, Pit? You got the strength for it.” Nuke piped up and Tully's heart raced seeing how easily they were getting on. Not just him, but all of the men. “You're quick too, bet you held a buncha records before.... sorry.”

Juice stiffened a moment as he reset the chess board. “'Salright. I just ain't gonna pop my stitches for anything, sorry guys. Not even if I was good, which I really, really am not.”

“He did hold one record, though.” Happy spoke, his voice rough. It was disuse; usually he was silent unless spoken directly to. Safer for him though he did occasionally offer some opinion when it was just Tully and him. For reasons, of course, that Tully didn't know or care to. There was a tone of what must have been amusement this time. “Most knocked out.”

The block was quiet, and then Juice broke the silence with a chuckle. Tully could see the blush that covered his face and the back of his neck. “He isn't wrong. It was like, nine times in a year? Really, I can make you that thing, but you don't want me boxing.”

“Alright, alright housewife. Tell me if you change your mind.” Mickey _almost_ chuckled. “How _is_ progress on your project?” Tully properly smiled this time. As much as it had been a celebration it was also a meeting. Just a check-in, so Mickey could confirm everyone's status on whatever projects they had going independently.

Juice stared at him for a moment, looking at Tully and then back to Mickey. “Um, schematics are all laid out.” He tapped the side of his head as he reached for a bite of cake. His boy was smart; no chance for someone finding out about their scheme if it wasn't written down. “In theory it should all work but, you know. Shit always goes wrong. I'm thinking of contingencies.”

For prison, it was an idyllic scene. This was as safe and as easy as it got. Tully finished his cake and then drained the milk carton. Even hearing Juice be acknowledged and in turn acknowledge them, it made Tully's chest tighten. They all opened themselves up to an enormous amount of liability taking this on. Allowing Juice to live, really _live_ and not just survive alongside their merry little band of cons could be dangerous still for all involved. That it hadn't been more dangerous already was too good to be true.

The heaviness in his chest increased and his heart thudded. It couldn't _stay_ this way, could it? Mickey wasn't garnering peace with the other gangs in prison after all, just business deals. Ones that made more sense, for all the parties involved, to not break because the benefits were too good. They could still be made targets; Tully could still lose his boy. That was completely disregarding his mental health, which still wasn't stable even with how much the week and a half of intense therapy had helped. Something could set him off and Tully wasn't always with him. He loved Juice, loved every part of him but sometimes his first reaction to things was self-harm and that was difficult on all of them.

Tully leaned forward because it was suddenly hard for him to breathe now too, on top of his racing heartbeat. Juice was still talking to the others so he could hide his panic attack. Juice needed _him_ not the other way around. He couldn't be a burden. Not that his beloved was a burden but Tully couldn't help but be glad everyone was stepping up so he wasn't expected to do everything, to be everything for Juice. No, Tully _loved_ his boy, loved Juice so much it made him hurt even to be separated for any length of time so he couldn't think like that.

“Whoa, Tully.” Juice seemed to sneak up in the middle of his racing thoughts. “Hey, Papi, you okay?” Juice had that little line in between his eyebrows and those big brown eyes were focused on him. They were too focused, with too much concern in them and it only caused Tully to let out an embarrassing whimper. “What's wrong, Papi?” His voice was still even and calm as it could be.

Of course he knew what it was; a plain old panic attack brought on by thinking too hard about not having everything he wanted. He swallowed and looked down, finding that he couldn't continue to actually keep looking at Juice. He couldn't be the one having this problem now, he just couldn't. That thought just brought more pain into his chest and his fingers started to tingle because he was hyperventilating. “Heart attack, do you think?” Juice was still too calm. Tully shook his head, unable to answer out loud. “Panic?”

The former shot-caller nodded, squeezing his eyes shut as tears began to make his vision wobble. He didn't want to give this burden to Juice, too. His boy didn't deserve it. “Hey, it's okay. I've been there, you know.” His beloved gently took his hands; there was no judgment in his voice which was just so, so wrong. Juice should have been upset that he had to take this on as well as all his worldly concerns. “Tully,” he squeezed Tully's fingers, “take a breath, nice and slow. Follow my chest, okay?” Just saying that, he set their hands, still tangled together on his own chest, breathing in the way he wanted Tully to. He did have a lot of experience with it, just on the other end. Now here he was reliving whatever brought his attacks on was so that he could help his Papi by remembering how the other person spoke. “Hey, c'mon stay with me, deep breath. Count of three, yeah?”

Tully managed to do as the boy said, taking a couple of deep breaths instead of shallow ones. Juice's chest was strong beneath his fingers, the heartbeat there steady even if it was fast. His own pain eased with the feeling of his beloved so close but still it remained just a little. A couple of tears fell from Tully's eyes and he quickly wiped them away with a free hand. Bad enough Juice had to see this, but to see him cry as well? It was too much for him to consider. Of course he had to sniffle right at that time, so he looked even more weak.

Juice was in his space again, closer than before, and gave him the lightest kiss. “I love you. You got nothing to be ashamed of.” Another kiss before he coaxed Tully into taking a few more breaths. “That's it. Love you lots and lots.”

It made Tully smile a bit so Juice adjusted so he wasn't so in Tully's face. Instead he sat beside him, like they always were. “Yeah, he's fine.” Must have been talking to the others. “I'll be back in a second, gimme a minute.” Tully expected him to move off but Juice just looked at him again. His boy wasn't going anywhere. “Kay, feeling like you can breathe again?”

Everything _was_ returning to normal, except for the fact that he was still upset for looking weak like this. It was fine for Juice to be seen scared, but Tully had some sort of a reputation to keep. Not rational, and he knew it nor was it fair to Juice to think that way. “Yeah. Sorry.” He croaked trying to bring his voice to strength again. He still couldn't look at his boy. Tully really wanted to crawl and hide up in his bunk out of shame.

Which Juice somehow, somehow knew. Gave him a final kiss on the cheek and backed off a bit more. “Hey, Papi,” Juice hesitated, “come with me to the clinic tomorrow? Ju-just to make sure it wasn't a heart attack or something?” Juice looked up at him with those eyes, surprisingly cute and not worried beyond his usual worrisome self. Like it was okay if Tully said no. “Please?”

But as always Tully wasn't going to deny Juice, not when he asked like that. “Okay. I will. Talk to your do- the lady who did your stitches.” Juice bumped against him in the way that was their public hug, but Tully turned it into a proper one by slinging his arm around his boy. Just a quick squeeze before Tully got off Juice's bunk and climbed into his own. He couldn't help but relax now that he knew for a fact everyone's eyes weren't on him. His pillow appeared in front of his face and Tully took it. “Thank you.”

“Welcome.” Juice smiled and went back to his chess game and the meeting. “Yeah, he's fine.” He responded to Mickey's mumbled question with the same answer as before. It kind of warmed Tully's heart to realize that he was lying for Tully. Well, not _really_ lying because it was the truth. Just not all of the truth; the rest of the men just didn't need to know it. Tully spent the rest of the evening in his own bunk. It wasn't a sulk, nor was he running away he was just not interested in answering too many questions or having interactions with people. It wasn't that unusual for him; every once in a while he just didn't want to have anything to do with anyone. It was just the first time it had been preceded by a complete panic attack. But Juice had covered for him until he could retreat and the men could act as normal.

Juice had been so good, so controlled while Tully broke down. Standing on his own two feet as it were, and even if that was kind of a mindfuck to Tully at the same time it was exactly what he'd hoped the boy would eventually do. The meeting seemed to adjourn right before lights out, and Juice stood from his spot at the bars and stretched. It gave Tully an eyeful and the smile Juice had on told him he was doing it on purpose which made it that much better. “Are ya comin' down?” Juice was so sweet about asking, Tully considered it. He missed cuddling with his beloved boy already and no doubt he was worried. Tully shook his head anyway, out of embarrassment more than anything else. If Tully had to admit it to himself anyway. He didn't want his men, and Juice of course to see him still shaky and a little weak feeling. “Okay.” A couple of minutes later Tully's pjs landed on one end of the bed, tossed up there by his boy. Their appearance was followed by Juice, standing on his own bunk to peek his tattooed head up. “Hey, um. When we go,” Juice blushed but Tully merely reached out to stroke his cheek in reassurance. Juice was so good, so deserving of all the gentle things Tully could give him here. “Tomorrow. Will you-- will you come and talk to Dr. B? With me or alone, whatever you wanna.” Juice started to chew his lip, nervous for asking. “I just. You got some shit, I know. Just. He's helped me. You don't have to say yes now, just think about it, please?”

Those big brown eyes were so disarming. Tully let out a sigh and leaned closer to kiss Juice gently. “I'll think about it.” That seemed good enough for his boy, who smiled like sunshine again and pulled himself up further so he could kiss Tully. “Gonna be okay if I'm up here?”

Juice nodded. “I'll come up if I change my mind.” More smiling until the lights suddenly went out. He even laughed a little. “Of course. Well, g'night I suppose. I love you.”

“Love you too.” Juice dropped and the rustling in the bunk beneath him told Tully Juice was getting settled. He grabbed the pjs that still sat on the end of his bed, and pulled them on before tossing his old clothes at the general direction of the hamper. Maybe it _would_ be good for him to get some of this garbage off his chest. Not that he couldn't call Will but his brother always had his own plans and was probably halfway across the country by now. He rolled onto his other side and tucked his pillow under his head. He hadn't actually heard anything of the doctor being a complete stooge for the administration, nor had Tully heard anything about him being untrustworthy or under another gang's influence. Nor could Tully couldn't deny the man's help with Juice.

Just once. He could just go once and if he hated it, he didn't have to go again. Tully would just get the okay from Mickey tomorrow at breakfast, and he could talk to the shrink. “The things you do to me, baby boy.” He chuckled quietly before making the attempt to nod off.

Tully slept alright, but at some point during the night Juice had crawled up into his bunk with him. Somehow even asleep he'd known that it was Juice, because he'd just cuddled around the younger man without waking up. “Sorry.” Juice mumbled when the sounds of the day woke them both up. “Couldn't sleep.” He did bury his head more into Tully's chest, getting precariously close to the edge of the bed.

Tully pulled him closer to keep him from falling. “It's alright.” He kissed the top of Juice's scalp. “Wake me up next time, baby? I don't want you to fall.”

Juice nodded. “Are you feeling better?” Right to the point, but Tully didn't mind. No doubt it had been eating at Juice and that was the real reason he hadn't been able to sleep. He loved how much Juice loved him, how much he worried about him. It was as much as Tully worried about Juice, easily.

He owed it to Juice, then, to make sure he didn't give the boy _cause_ to worry. That meant taking care of himself. “Mmhm. Compared to last night.” Tully shifted to stroke the boy's cheek. “Yes. I'll come with you to the shrink today. Just this one time, baby boy.” He wouldn't say that if he needed to go again, he would. Take it one appointment at a time. Surely the doctor and Juice both would understand that.

If Tully could have captured the look of relief and joy on Juice's face he could have looked at that every day for motivation. “That's all I wanted. D'you need to make sure it's okay?” Juice kissed his nose; he knew the score and so even if Tully couldn't, Juice needed him to know that he appreciated the effort.

Tully kissed him again, returning the one on Juice's nose now. Then he squeezed him in a hug. “I will, at breakfast. But I don't see a problem with it.” One more little kiss and then Tully gave him a little pat on the rump. “C'mon, baby boy. We've got to get up and you have to go down first.”

Juice nodded, giving him one more hug as well before he climbed down the bunk's ladder. Tully watched, making sure he was being careful on the way down before he followed the young man. He did have to pick up his clothes, having missed the hamper by roughly a mile. It was dark and he was crabby last night; they couldn't hold it against him. His boy was looking at the dresser again, trying to hide his desire for another tank top. Tully saw it, and smirked over at him before tilting his head. Juice knew that he knew, but Tully wanted him to ask. “Papi,” Juice blushed, and it was the cutest thing he'd ever seen. “May I please,” and he stepped closer with this, “wear one of your shirts so everyone knows I'm yours?” His voice dropped half an octave even.

Tully was about to answer as he handed over a clean tank top, making a note to get some more ordered, but Nuke beat him to it. “You sleep on his bed, Pitty, everyone knows you're his.” He laughed as he rolled himself closer to the bars of his cell. “Ain't no mistaking that shit. So, when do you wanna do the painting class, brother?”

Was Nuke really that ready? He'd just gotten back, after all. Juice beat Tully to the question. “You sure, Nuke? You just got back, don't you wanna settle in a bit?”

Nuke gave him a flat look as the doors opened, and he rolled out. He parked himself in front of their cell, waiting for Juice to come out and give him a push. Of course Juice did once he finished brushing his teeth. “Alright, alright.” The boy held up his hands in surrender and it made Tully chuckle as they bunched up as usual. Nuke technically was in front of Mickey but the reason for it was obvious. “Schedule that shit for whenever,” and Juice looked to Tully, “and we might have, um. More paintings.”

The man looked up at the two others, and grinned. Obviously he understood in an instant. “Right, I'll do some planning and let you guys know.” They made it into the cafeteria with no problems, Juice pushing Nuke to the end before taking his usual place at Tully's side. “Talk to me tonight maybe about what you wanna do?” Nuke tucked into the tray, leaving Juice and Tully to whatever conversation they were about to have.

Juice was still blushing over the fact that Nuke understood what they wanted so quickly; Nuke often portrayed himself as the big dumb muscle but he really wasn't. Maybe now without that ability to be the muscle, he could start to show it. Tully smiled a little as he started to eat the waffles and milk that was their breakfast. “Boss,” he managed to not cringe as he spoke, “Mind if I go with Juice to th' clinic?”

“Go there?” Mickey asked as he glanced at Tully. “For what?”

The prying got Tully's hackles up and he almost smart-mouthed an answer. But Juice's presence besides him reminded him again just why he was doing this. “Just gotta make sure my ticker is ticking right.” Tully said, casually. The others were listening, he wasn't going to make a big deal out of it. Couldn't, otherwise the prison gossip machine would zero in on him and he'd never get any peace. “And to maybe have a chat with the shrink, hm?”

Mickey was quiet and still, just _looking_ at Tully before he went back to his food. “I can tell you you've got a screw loose, Tully but if you need a second opinion go and get it.” The new shot-caller slightly shrugged as he waved off a couple of approaching cons. Tully smirked; his rule had always been never to deal with other people's business before he was at least halfway through breakfast. Good to see that Mickey was following the same rule. He avoided feeling relief that Mickey was allowing the doctor visit. It should have been a foregone conclusion, Tully never should have doubted.

“Thank you.” He could be polite even if he could feel Mickey's silent thoughts on the whole matter. Tully felt the bump to his shoulder that was Juice, and it made him smile into the soggy waffles. At least _someone_ was beside him without judging him. The rest of breakfast was an uneventful affair, and Juice and Tully set their trays away before making their escape towards the hospital wing. It wasn't so much an escape, but Tully still didn't want any questions asked of him.

Juice's fingers wrapped in his own, the boy not even caring that they could be seen. It was nice, this little stroll and at least this hallway was pretty well lit for the prison. “Thank you.” Juice was quiet. “For trying. Just. I want you to know I appreciate it.” A few more steps together and then he spoke again. “I mean, I worry a lot,” with a brief squeeze to Tully's hand, “that I'm a lot. And I j-just want you to have someone to talk to. 'Bout me. Or whatever you gotta talk about. Like I said, I know you have a lot of shit with you.”

His boy just knew him too well, honestly. Juice knew his concerns, knew what had started the panic attack without even having to be told. Or maybe it was just Juice's personal damage, of being seen as too much of a burden and not enough of a good family member and he was telling Tully about it in his own way. Tully shifted, very gently pulling Juice so that he could press the other man up against the wall. “You're welcome. Thank you for taking care of me.” Tully looked deep into Juice's eyes, stroking one cheek very lightly. “And yourself. I mean it, Juice. I know it's hard sometimes baby boy, and you're doing so good.”

He was about to lean into Juice to give him a kiss, but a cleared throat made them separate. It wasn't a guard, though, just the bemused face of the shrink. It was the first positive reaction from the shrink that Tully could remember; maybe being in his domain instead of on the prison blocks was the reason. He felt more control here, or more relaxed. “Gentlemen.” His eyes were surprisingly kind as he looked between the two of them. “You're early, Mr. Ortiz and what brings you up here, Mr. Tully?” Tully had to hide his smile; rarely people remembered that Tully was his _surname_.

“Know I'm early, doc.” Juice hadn't moved from his place on the wall, almost radiating happiness and calm. Tully wasn't sure if it was more his kissing or the doctor, but he'd take it either way and be pleased regardless. He'd never seen Juice here anyway, so it was all new information for him to learn. “Hadda make sure Tully didn't get lost.” Juice laughed and took Tully's hand again.

“I see.” Still that slight smirk, not making audible commentary on what Juice was doing. “Mr. Tully?”

It turned out that Juice's hand was there not just to tease Tully. He gave Tully's hand a small squeeze when the shrink turned his questions to him. To give him strength, so that he could answer the question truthfully and without fear. Tully sighed and looked up to the ceiling because he couldn't keep his eyes on the doctor's. His voice was a little too low for his liking, too. “Think I had a panic attack last night. Not the first time but,” Tully trailed off and then looked down, strengthening himself by looking towards Juice. “Figured I'd get my heart checked just in case, but,” Tully stopped and then started up again. This was way harder than it should have been and he wanted to just leave, but Juice was still holding his hand. “If everything was alright, perhaps you and I could talk?” He felt honestly small, an unusual feeling for him; especially in this case since the doctor was just so much shorter than he was.

Tully waited for a laugh, or perhaps some questioning as to what his angle was but the doctor just took a small book out of his shirt pocket to check it. “Actually I have some time after Mr. Ortiz, if you don't mind waiting. Well, since you were going to get a physical the timing works well.”

“I don't mind waiting afterwards, either doc.” Juice piped up and squeezed Tully's hand again. This time Tully returned it. “I mean if I can. I know there's rules and shit.”

The shrink nodded and gestured to the door behind him. “If you'd like to start a little early, Juan Carlos, go ahead and have a seat inside.” Juice just nodded and glanced around before he kissed Tully's hand. The shrink didn't seem to be one to care, at any rate, and Tully wasn't going to argue with that. Juice disappeared through the door, settling on an overstuffed couch. The shrink gestured to Tully to follow and they moved away a few steps. There was an open room nearby, with a guard posted. “Whenever you're done, go ahead and wait there. Normally just the next one of us would come get you but,” and another chuckle, “only me here today. I trust you can find your way?”

Tully nodded, trying not to be too astounded at his casualness. Most of the prison administration treated Tully like a vial of nitroglycerin; this felt more a conversation among equals. Just two men on the outside, and this was a real shrink's office. None of his mental alarms were going off though, so Tully glanced back toward where Juice was one more time and headed towards the infirmary proper. He'd have to trust that he was doing the right thing.

As Tully expected there was nothing wrong with his heart. Just an ordinary panic attack, as unpleasant as it had been. The staff here treated him in a way that was such a contrast to how the shrink had; to them he was a malingerer causing trouble for his own amusement. Tully was glad to get out, it was exhausting to him now. How had he ever done that before? He knew the answer; partly boredom, partly an attempt at keeping himself relevant in this place. He nodded a greeting to the guard at the entrance of the waiting room, sitting down in one of the uncomfortable chairs. Thinking wasn't going to help him, so Tully tried not to. Tried to just clear his head of all the garbage, including his preconceived notions of what this might be like. Just one session, he'd see after that.

He didn't end up waiting too long. Juice popped into the room within maybe 15 minutes or so, practically bouncing as he crossed it and sat down beside Tully. “Your turn.” Juice smiled up at him, briefly taking his hand once more before letting it go. “Made sure he was in a good mood for ya.”

“It's only your perception of me that's changed, Mr. Ortiz. Just like I keep telling you.” The shrink piped up from the doorway, standing next to the guard. “Anytime you're ready, Mr. Tully.”

Juice paused and then leaned up to give Tully a very gentle kiss to the cheek. Quick, because there was a guard watching of course. “I'll be right here.” Juice whispered. “I love you.”

He had to turn and rest his forehead on his beloved's, and the overwhelming feeling of love came back settling in his chest. It was a much better sensation than before. “Love you too.” Knowing that Juice was there and he had Tully's back was what gave him the strength to get up and follow the shrink into that little office. There was the overstuffed couch that Juice had sat on, along with a comfortable office chair that he assumed was the shrink's. He took the couch, sinking into it until he couldn't, and crossed his legs. The shrink sat as well, opening a drawer nearby and taking out a clipboard. Tully's inmate mind immediately made note of it; it was a good place to look for weapons. He filed that away, letting the thought disappear knowing he couldn't help it.

“I'm Doctor Blake, in case you didn't know.” The doc slipped a paper into the clipboard and then handed it over to Tully; it was blank. He handed Tully one of the soft felt tip pens as well. “Just in case there's things you want to tell me, but can't say it out loud for whatever reason.” He leaned back then, folding his hands and resting them on his lap. “Just a couple of ground rules...maybe not rules but guidelines. Things you say here remain in confidence. I won't tell anyone, except for a few things. If you have plans on harming yourself or others, if there's abuse or neglect happening, or if you tell me something that might compromise the safety and security of the prison I do have to inform the proper authorities.” It was here Dr. Blake smiled a little. “But I'm sure I won't hear any of that, I never do.” An acknowledgment that the inmates didn't speak of everything to him, which no doubt made his working relationship with them more difficult but he understood their rules too. That much was clear and it made Tully relax a bit. He could speak freely. “So with that, Mr. Tully, what _would_ you like to talk about?”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From Juice's perspective, he sees someone he hasn't in a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of a bonus chapter I planned on writing but got some inspiration. Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate! (Unedited.)

Juice brought his fingers up to his arm, running them along the bumps of the stitches still there before he forcibly stuck his hands in his pockets. It was a new tic, growing in frequency; he wasn't trying to pull them out or anything. The sensation of touching them wasn't bad, just unusual and it settled something in his head to do so. Didn't quiet most of the rushing thoughts just a couple that seemed to be focused on the fragility of his skin. The doctor had gotten him to extrapolate on it this session, and gave him homework to pick another ritual. To write down what it soothed. Juice didn't have to go further, but if he did it would be a good jumping off point for their next session in the morning. As he walked, Juice was considering which one to write about. Most of them were pretty muted in prison, which was a blessing.

He was thinking about his food rituals; despite his sweet tooth Juice was a picky eater with certain rules on the outside. _Outside._ Juice had to stop his thoughts then. That led to dangerous territory. How he used to cook for the sons, him and Chibs, so that they weren't eating takeout all the time and Juice would actually eat. Juice shook his head and leaned against a wall, counting to ten. The doc hadn't been too sure about that coping method because it meant Juice wasn't sitting with his feelings.

Which was exactly the point. He wasn't thinking about it, wasn't reflecting on it. Wasn't finding out for himself that not being a Son wasn't the end of the world even if his body and brain was telling him it was. Juice just knew himself well enough. He knew he couldn't face that fact without support; so what if he put it off until he felt safe.

“Pit? Pitty? Earth to Pitbull.” A voice from a nearby room brought him out of his circling thoughts. “Juice?” He looked up and over and spotted Nuke, sitting in a hospital bed. Juice couldn't help his joy at seeing the man. He liked Nuke best, after Tully of course. “Hey little brother! C'mere!”

Of course Juice wouldn't not. In fact he practically skipped over and found himself bouncing on his toes, unable to keep the pleasure inside. It was a tic he hadn't had in a very, very long time. “Nuke!”

“Yeah.” The man was smiling a little and he gestured Juice to come closer. “What's goin' on, what're you doing up here?”

Juice did come closer, sat on the bed where Nuke patted it. Still the same Nuke, but it was odd seeing just his upper body move. Nuke had always been a burst of energy, his whole body moving as big as his personality. “I uh,” Juice didn't really know what to say then, “It's a really long story.” He settled on with his hand moving to hide the stitches down his arm.

“I ain't got nothing but time, Pitbull. They're not lettin' me outta here til at least tomorrow. And don't tell the boss that, I want it to be a surprise what's that look for?”

Nuke said it all in one breath even if he managed two sentences. Juice hadn't known he was giving any sort of a look, but it seemed like he couldn't keep any secrets. Wouldn't, it had gotten him into too much trouble. “The short version, Nuke? Tully isn't boss anymore.” His hand came up again and he rubbed the stitches. “Retired.”

Immediately Nuke fired back. “Who's boss now? Mickey? Is Tully alright, he ain't in the hospital too is he? And quit picking at that shit, Juice.”

“Not picking.” But he set his hands back down as his face heated. “Mickey's boss, Tully's fine. It was all voluntary. Sort of. Tully got blackmailed into it from his boss.”

Nuke was quiet for a second. Only a second though. “Jeff? Blackmailed Tully? What the hell did he say, Jeff and Tully they've always been like, best friends. Or at least, you know, Tully was going to get his place when Jeff inevitably corked it. What did he say, c'mon Pit don't leave a guy hanging.”

This was still hard to talk about but Nuke did deserve answers because he'd started it. “Jeff didn't think Tully was paying enough attention to the AB.” He started touching his stitches again. “'Cuz he was, you know. With me.” There had been an element of guilt, more than an element, that Tully was giving up his place of power to continue to be with Juice. Juice was trying to remind himself that he was worthy of such love, that Tully made his own decisions like the doc said.

“Hey, Earth to Pit again.” Nuke was quieter, a little more gentle this time. “Don't get stuck in your head, little brother.” Juice looked at him and Nuke grinned, looking back. “Jeff's an idiot. I mean, don't tell anyone else I said that but he isn't around _here_ he's in his own little private cabana in supermax. Shit doesn't work like he thinks it should. “Tully likes you a lot, yeah but that doesn't mean he wasn't doing his job. Trust me, I've seen him way more distracted. But you know it was probably good, people were gonna start thinking he was weak. _Without you_.” Nuke rolled his eyes before Juice could make a comment. “So, Mickey's boss, and Tully's gonna spend his free time buggering you. I'm gonna have to get earplugs aren't I?”

The teasing, and Nuke's repetition of things that Juice had heard really did bring him out of the headspace he was going into. “He-he said it wasn't all about buggering me?” Juice smiled, feeling a little bit lighter already.

“Only mostly, I'll stop off at the commissary. So, you still ain't told me why you're here?” Nuke dropped his gaze to the scars on Juice's arm. “...You did something stupid, didn't you Pitty?”

“Not stupid.” The doc had been getting him to say the opposite of whatever put-down he was assigning himself and it was becoming reflexive. Even if he didn't believe it all the time. “I just-- I didn't want Tully to lose his place. Shit sucks.” That was an understatement for sure. Losing the Sons had very nearly killed him; Juice still personally thought Tully was stronger and would have been okay. “So I tried to, you know. Take myself out of the equation. Mickey saved me, but don't like, spread that around.” Juice changed the subject, he didn't want to think what happened in the shower. “I've been going to the doc here. The shrink. He's a nice guy. Gets it, that cons have some things they can't talk about and works around it.”

Nuke tilted his head slightly. “The short guy, right?” He turned away and looked toward the tiny barred window. “He's come in a couple of times. Tried to get into my head and talk about my precious fee-fees about losing my legs. I ain't into that but if he's helping you, then good and I won't kick his ass next time he comes in.” Nuke laughed too loud; Juice figured it was to cover his sudden, though brief, vulnerability. “Christ I wanna get out of here.”

Juice nodded and spotted a wheelchair on the other side of the bed from where he was sitting. He looked to the clock; slightly past when dinner was supposed to start, oops. Tully was going to freak out if he wasn't already. This was more important, he'd understand and Juice would definitely make it up to him tonight. “Did they say there was any reason to wait til tomorrow?”

“Nah just, it'd be easier to get me settled they said. Nothing like, medical wise. I got some stuff to learn about being a para but all the important stuff, peeing and moving back and forth to the chair I have down.” Nuke was frowning about his circumstances but then it disappeared. “What're you thinking, Pitty?”

Juice got up and moved the chair next to Nuke's bed properly, locking it to make sure it didn't move. “I'm thinking we're late for dinner.” His heart was thudding a bit. _Technically_ they could see this as him helping a fellow inmate break out but it wasn't like they were leaving Stockton. Just going down to the chow hall. Juice hated to see Nuke, who had been the most boisterous out of all of them, get quiet and upset like he'd been starting to. And helping others, it had always made him feel good. The doctor said he should always do things that make him feel good, and he deserved it. “So you comin'?” Juice looked him over. “Not hooked up to anything right?”

Nuke grinned big “Pitbull, you are a crackup.” He shook his head and pulled the blanket off his legs. They were still big and strong looking for now. Just unmoving. “Not hooked up to anything.” Nuke got the rails down with Juice's help and easily transferred himself to his chair, getting settled. “Let's blow this Popsicle stand, Pitbull!”

He couldn't help but let himself laugh and Juice pushed him easily out of the room. Of course they couldn't totally escape without being seen; just before they reached the end of the ward a quiet clearing of a throat stopped them. “Mr. Ortiz, Mr. Fleischer?” The psychologist, with his bag over his shoulder, making to leave himself had caught them. But he had that little small smile on his face Juice was coming to recognize as his amused smile. “May I ask what's going on?”

“We're late for dinner, doc.” Juice grinned right back, leaning a bit on the wheelchair. “They said he's cleared medically.” It occurred to him then that Nuke might have been exaggerating the truth, or not telling at all. Juice hope he hadn't hurt the other man by getting him to come along with this crazy plan. “And it's better right, if someone is around other people?”

The doctor rose an eyebrow and then shook his head. “Fortunately for you two I happened to look at Mr. Fleisher's file right before this and he has been medically cleared. And you are right, Mr. Ortiz, about there being positive outcomes when with other people.” The doctor gestured toward the door. “Go ahead, but remember to _ask_ next time.”

Juice almost whooped; Nuke actually did and grabbed his wheels to start pushing. “C'mon Pit, let's go 'fore he changes his mind.” Juice had to follow because Nuke was already surprisingly fast, and he waved at the doctor before grabbing the handles. “So what else happened while I was gone??”

 


End file.
